My First Love

Chapter 1: Is that really him?

"Is that really him?", my one and only childhood best friend, Mira asks to get a confirmation again for the nth time.

"Yes, of course! Do you think I am blind? And stop pestering me, please." I am starting to get irritated now. "But..." A glare and she shuts up! Wow, should have done it sooner.

I don't believe this! Am I going to have to report to him? How? Can I do this? Someone, please help me find a Volume 'How to face your first love- Long after breakup' version!!! I feel like crying. Seeing him after all these years, brought back all our fond and distant memories, instead of his betrayal. And that is what scares me the most. How in the world am I going to meet him tomorrow in the present frame of my mind?

"You are thinking of how to face him, aren't you?" her face shows concern. She has always known how my mind, heart, and emotions work. I sigh. "Yes", I concede and express my only concern, "How am going to work with him when I know he has the power to break my heart all over again?".

"Darling, let's be real. He is the one who left you. He is the one who broke your heart. Why should it be you to think about how to face him again?", she is the one irritated now. I can't help but chuckle, "You will know when you fall in love."

"Oh please! I would rather not. At least not any time soon. Seeing you suffer from your heartbreak was enough for a decade", she decides. I smile. "Mira, you don't decide when to fall in or out of love. It just happens." Like it happened to me

"Dare you to say it would be magical. I would cut your tongue off", she makes an I-am-disgusted face. "Really now?", I tried to hide my amused smile, "Who said anything about magical?", I wiggle my eyebrows.

"Oh, shut it!", she storms off, or rather flees, from the room making me laugh out loud. I know she has always liked someone. But I couldn't get it out of her at any cost. After my constant efforts to make her spill the beans, and no positive results, I decided she would let me know in her own time. The rest of the day went by, as usual, us bickering, laughing, eating, but not once did we talk about him. She knows when to give me my space and I love her for that.

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The next morning, I got ready for work early as I would need the time to sort out my emotions before meeting him. I was lucky yesterday to see him talking to, more like laughing with our Senior Manager, Mr. Brandon Bricks before our team was officially introduced to him. He is our Project Manager based on what I was able to gather. That means I won’t be lucky enough to dodge him from today as he is the one, I need to report to every day. Great! Just what I needed! (Headbang)

Though I woke up with a smile today, anxiety was slowly creeping into me. The same thoughts began to whirl in my mind. Am I ready to face him yet? Am I ever going to be ready? He crushed my heart once. Made me doubt my self-worth. I am not going to give him the chance to do so again. The thought brought me a newfound determination. I adjust my posture as I walk towards the conference room, motivating myself, only to stop in my tracks. I am pissed off. Standing a little away from me is none other than the devil himself, shaking hands with Cassie, a beautiful brunette (but with unbearable *itchy attitude), smiling at her and making her blush. Making the ice queen blush! Motivate, my foot! I storm into the conference room and try to get a hold of my reaction. I am going to appear very cool. Come on Mia, you can do this. The prick doesn’t need to know that I am still in love with him even after 6 years.

Mr. Bricks walks in with Eri... the prick and Cassie in tow. Stupid Mia! Can’t even think of his name, I berated myself. I felt happy to notice the little slips in his demeanor that implied he too is still affected by me. His posture was a little off for a second; his eyes widened slightly; he stopped walking and zoned out of whatever Mr. Bricks was saying to him. His eyes flickers to beside me and back to me. He stops himself from smiling. Why in the hell would he smile?, I am confused. But it is soon cleared as I noticed the *itchy *itch went to stand beside him as if she belonged there, and he smiled at her. It feels like he is trying to provoke me. “No Mia, calm down. Don’t let him affect you. Don’t!”, I mentally congratulated myself that the chaos he is causing in me isn’t visible on my face as I roll my eyes turn my face. He may, once, been able to read me. I wouldn’t give him the chance to do so again. I steal a few glances at him only to notice his disappointment… or is that hurt?

Mr. Bricks began the introductions. I could feel his gaze on me from time to time, still, I ignored him and continued to smile at my colleague. She was saying something about her baby. (Trust me, I couldn’t stomach any other topic right now). When it was my turn, I gave him a disinterested but polite nod. I even managed to give him a smile that screamed I-am-not-affected-by-your-presence. I was doing a mental dance now because I was able to irritate him. He is trying his best not to show it, but I know him. I stayed a step away from him, as I carried a small stack of files that I needed to review, on one hand, and held my laptop to me with the other so that I didn’t have to shake his hand. I smirked as I scored one, not that anyone is counting. But my smile faltered when he soon started to shake his head and smirked to himself.

“Miss Jones… If you could stay, I would like to discuss with you about our portfolios, their estimates, and the budget allotted to us for the coming year”, he beamed as he knows that he scored one too. I didn’t even notice that Mr. Bricks has dismissed us.

Come on, Mia. Keep cool. Don’t let him affect you. Don’t let him affect you. I was chanting in my mind as I replied to him with a tight-lipped smile, “Sure, Mr. Walker”. He gave me one of those smiles which were only for me…long ago. Seeing him smile at me after so many years made me yearn for him more. Now my mind automatically began to chant Don’t let him know he still affects you! Don’t let him know! I resisted the urge to facepalm right in front of him. Who the hell am I kidding! I am doomed from the moment I saw him in the office yesterday.

While I was still thinking of how to make Mr. Bricks stay with us, the prick was talking to him, “I can take it from here Brandon. Thank You for your help”. I am shocked that the prick is on a first-name basis with Mr. Bricks. I stand there like an open-mouthed fish and moving my eyes from the Prick to Mr. Bricks, while they are talking. Mr. Bricks notices my expression and laughs, “You are not the only one who gets to call me by my name, Mel. To introduce you informally, this is Eric, my friend! The one I told you about, that I met at the animal shelter the other day. And Eric, this is Amelia, also my friend, though she doesn’t call me by my name in front of her fellow co-workers. If you need help with anything, you can always ask her”. He then turns to me, says his goodbye before leaving.

I grit my teeth and take a seat leaving one between us. Call me childish, but I don’t need to explain to him everything like he is a kid. I will send him all the details via email. He can go through it himself. I start to draft the mail and can feel him staring at me. I ignore him and continue my work. After sending him all the required documents, I stand up to leave. “I sent you an email with the details you requested, Mr. Walker. Please let me know if you need any clarifications. Have a good day.”, I say in a monotonous tone. Ha! Take that, Prick. “You have changed a lot”, he says with a thoughtful expression. I stop what I am doing for a second when his words register in my mind. “I do have someone to thank for that”, I mutter while stacking my files. I don’t care if he didn’t hear my mumbling or if he chose not to react, but I replied, “I would much appreciate it if you don’t talk to me as if you know me, Mr. Walker”. I want to be away from him as soon as possible and so I walked away from him without giving him the chance to make another comment. I am on the verge of crying and I didn’t want to fall weak in front of him. I reach the washroom without anyone approaching me. He managed to turn all my anger into sorrow with just a few words. My mind began to chant again, Don’t let him know he still affects you…

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I survived the day somehow and reached my apartment only to find Mira pacing to and fro between the couch and the kitchen counter. Seeing her like that makes me both relaxed and amused and I couldn’t help teasing her, “Are you going to walk till your feet dig a grave in the floor for me?”. Surprisingly, she comes to me and hugs me before dragging me towards the couch, “Are you okay? Please tell me you are okay. Did you cry? Sorry… Stupid question, of course, you would cry. Did you cry a lot? Did he offend you in any way? I can manage to get some itchy powder in his pants. I have always been angry at him for hurting you. Anyway, that's not the point. I never brought this up with you because I know how upset you get when you are reminded of him. But now that you have to see him daily, there is no point not talking about him. From what you have always told me, he was a sweet guy and cared for you a lot. You always believed he would never hurt you intentionally, even when I warned you about those obnoxious and notorious male kind. So what are you going to do now that you have to see him everyday? Have you ever thought about why he would do that to you? Do you believe there is a reason for him to behave such way just before your graduation? Are you going to give him a second chance? If yes, let me know. I will have my Bokken and Tanto ready this time. If he ever hurts you again, I am gonna break that little...”

“Mira… Breathe, come on, breathe…”

“Yeah, right!”, she breathes heavily, her face turning pink, maybe because of lack of oxygen or because of her rambling. I smile at her concern, “Listen, Mira, Yes, I cried, not a lot, but I did. And no, he didn’t offend me. Even if he did, I don’t think you would be able to do pull it off even though I don’t doubt your capability. And about the other stuff you said, I think I need to admit to myself what I have been feeling so that I can face him better tomorrow. Seeing as how he managed to collapse my self-resolve in a matter of seconds, I need that. We will talk about it during dinner. Let me just get fresh.”. Mira looks thoughtful and surprised, “Sure, take your time. I will order dinner meanwhile. Pizza sounds good?” “Yeah”, I say while moving to my room and turned around again unable to resist teasing her as usual, “Are you sure you didn’t perform a C-section on some random man with all these thoughts running in your head all day?”. I ducked in time to avoid a cushion on my face and ran to my room, but not before hearing her saying, “Very Funny! Here, I am worried about her and she makes fun of me!”

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Hey Guys, Please let me know how you felt about the chapter. I hope you like it. I am feeling both anxious and an undescribable joy on publishing the 1st chapter of my 1st ever story. Do let me know if you think anything is amiss. What do you want as next chapter- Eric's POV or continuation of the above scenario?:D

Also, I decided that I would post a simple tip in English at the end of every chapter. I may not be the best person to give these tips, but I like to share what I know. These tips are debatable, if anyone wants to discuss :D

Tip 1: When there is 'did' in a sentence, the verb in that sentence should be in present tense, that is V1.

Eg 1: "I didn't go there"

Eg 2: "I did see her yesterday"

The above examples are grammatically correct, instead of "I didnt went there" or "I did saw her".

You can write the second example as "I saw her yesterday". But if you use 'did' in the sentence to emphasize your point, the verb, 'see' should be in its present form instead of in its simple past form.