Paris Blues

Moving On

Paris, 1942

Loneliness, one of the worst emotions one could feel and I was unfortunate to be that person, I was back to being alone and scared. I hadn't seen or spoken to Hans in since I kicked him out of my house which was over a month ago and I missed having him to comfort me. I wondered if he had another comforting him, making love to him. The thought made my stomach churn, I belonged to another man and he belonged to another woman but the thought of him with another was a painful one. The new year had come and I was feeling optimistic, the war would finally end and I would be in Henry's arms. I wanted to be his wife already and the mother of his children but it seemed like the world wanted us to be apart. I was fixing the desks in my classroom when I heard footsteps behind me.

"Do you ever not work?". I heard the familiar feminine voice behind me and I turned around to see Marie standing at the door. I ran to hug her and she squealed as we embraced.

"I missed you so much". I said as I squeezed her tightly, we had not seen each other in over two months since she went to visit family in Lyon for the holidays, she offered to take me with but I didn't want to intrude.

"How have you been?". She asked and I gave her a fake smile.

"I'm good and you?". I said and she smiled.

"I'm good, thank you". She said as she put her hands on her belly, I suddenly noticed something that I had not noticed before. I opened her large coat and saw her protruding belly hidden underneath.

"When were you going to tell me". I asked as I watched her look at the floor.

"I was going to tell you". She said.

"I didn't want to upset you since Henry is... ". She didn't even need to finish the sentence as I understood what she meant. She knew I yearned to be a wife and mother but the love of my life was not with me.

"I'm so sorry Gracie I didn't want to upset you". She said apologetically and I shook my head.

"It's fine, I'm fine. You don't need to put your life on hold because of me". I said before giving her a smile.

"I'm so happy for you". I said hugging her tightly.

"You going to be a great mother". I said to her and she hugged me.

"You going to be a great godmother". She said and I giggled. We pulled apart.

"Could you please go next door to get some stationery for the students". I said and she nodded before turning around to walk out of the room. I covered my mouth with my hand and released a soft cry as I felt my knees buckle. I used a desk to stabilize myself as my teary eyes danced around the room. I should have been feeling happy for my friend, she was happily married and having a baby. We were in the middle of a war but a baby was always a blessing. Instead, I was angry, I should have been a married woman with a baby in my belly. She had her husband with her whilst my Henry was taken away from me. It felt like everyone was moving further with their lives and I was still stuck in the same place.