A Matter of Convenience

Twenty-Two

~Emmet~

Every part of my body is in pain. The places where my body is touching Issy hurt even more, but I don’t care. I need to feel that pain so I know that she’s here, next to me. My time is almost up, and I will be leaving my child. That pains me more than I can express. The only bright spot is the fact that I will be reunited with my mate, but it isn’t that bright of a spot.

She won’t be lost without us, you know. They will take care of her.

I know, Randolph. I just don’t want her to have to go through this world without me. We didn’t have enough time together.

I know; I feel the same way. I spoke to Rona, who told me she and Ericson went through it. I let out a breath of relief.

I’m glad to know that she’ll have him to look out for her. Randolph gives out a low chuckle.

You must have forgotten that they hate each other. I’m surprised that she even went along with this idea.

They just think that they hate each other. Give it time, and I’m sure they will realize they care more for each other than they think. Randolph and I sit silently for a while as I remember my life. I hope I’m seen to have been a good person and a good Alpha. I tried my hardest to be that person. I tried hard to be a good parent, especially when my mate died. I hope I was open enough to her and my pack; they knew how much I cared.

I watch the sun start to peek through the blinds in my room. I ask that they be opened slightly so I can see the sunlight one more time. I feel my body shutting down, and I know I’m not long for this world. I don’t feel that I did everything I wanted to do, but my time is over. I think it’s time, Randolph.

I know. I’m not ready, but I know. I try to swallow past the lump in my throat, not wanting to wake Issy with my emotions.

I’m lying on my left side, and Issy is facing me. I gently run a finger down her face, letting her warmth seep into my body. If I could have a second life, I’d take it just so I could be here for her. I know she will thrive without me, but I also know she will hurt. I love her with everything I have, and I just hope she knows that. I love you, Issy. I love you with everything I have. You got this, no matter what. I feel a hot tear fall down my face, and I take one last breath before darkness takes over.

~Ericson~

It’s been three days since I’ve seen or heard from Isis. I will admit that I haven’t reached out myself, but neither has she. I’ve spent the time trying to clean up my mess from when I was having multiple breakdowns. I had to wade through a sea of empty liquor bottles and anything else I used to get me through that time.

On top of that, it’s been glacial in the packhouse. I’m not speaking to my father; he isn’t talking to me. I feel bad, but only because it puts my Mom in the middle, and she deserves better than that. I don’t want to involve her, so we don’t discuss the issue. I don’t want to ever make her feel the need to choose between the two of us.

Kira’s been hanging around a lot, and I’ve been avoiding her like the plague. I don’t want to deal with her in any way, shape, or form. I’ve been waiting for the elders to pop up, but they haven’t been around yet, which I think is strange. They usually aren’t ones who drag their feet.

I shift my foot around on my plate, deep in thought. “Are you okay, son?” I look up and see my Mom taking her usual seat at the table. I came early to breakfast, not wanting to run into my father. I haven’t started back training yet, but I plan to do so tomorrow.

“I guess. I just have a lot on my mind.”

“If I’m being honest, I’m surprised to see you here.” I sit up in my chair and focus on my Mom.

“Why wouldn’t I be here?”

“Well, the funeral’s today, so I figured you would have stayed the night with Isis.” Funeral? Isis? My stomach feels heavy, and my appetite flees my body almost immediately. Does this mean what I think it means?

“Funeral?”

“Yes, the funeral for Isis’s dad. I wanted to attend, but I have a few things I have to do here. I sent a flower arrangement already.” f***k! How did I not know that her father had died? Why didn’t Isis say anything? We haven’t been ‘mated’ long, and I’ve already fu.cked up.”

I stand up and step away from my chair. I lean over and kiss my Mom on her cheek. “Call me if you need anything.” I turn and hurry out of the dining room.

“Ericson?! Where are you going?” I don’t stop to answer her. I have to get my sh.it together and figure out my next move.

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There are flowers everywhere, marking the start and end of the rows of seating. Pack members are gathered and dressed in black. The atmosphere is bleak at best, and it shows how much this man was loved.

Everyone is standing on their feet, and they are facing forward. There’s a high pyre with a coffin placed on top. They are going to burn him in the coffin. It signifies his body being sent back to the land and his spirit being set free to soar with the Moon Goddess. It's a ceremony reserved for those who have served their people and are greatly respected.

I walk to the front of the crowd and look around. I slip behind a few people, feeling their eyes on me. I know they are wondering who I am and why I’m here. That’s a story for another day; today, there are more important topics to deal with.

I spot her in the middle of the group. She’s wearing a short, black sleeveless dress. Her long legs are on display, and I have to actively try to focus on something else. I never thought of it before, but Isis is hot.

I would see her at meetings and other gatherings, and it never escaped me that she was growing up. I just never associated her with hotness because she’s fu.cking irritating. Now that we are joined, I guess I’m seeing her a bit differently. WHOA! Let me backtrack that and rewind. The last thing I need is to get caught up with Isis, of all people. This isn’t what we are about, and if I fall into this trap, I will go against our agreement. I have to remember to think with the big head, not the little one.

I walk up to Isis’s left side and let my hand hang. I inconspicuously slip my hand into hers and entwine my fingers with hers. Her body jolts, and she looks up at me. The look on her face breaks my heart.

Her eyes are puffy, and her face is streaked with tears. I can’t imagine how she’s feeling right now. I know that she lost her mom years ago, and now her dad is gone. I run my thumb across the back of her hand, trying to give her as much comfort as I can. Her body goes from tense to loose as she places her head on my arm. I let go of her hand and wrap my arm around her shoulders, pulling her as tightly to my body as possible.