Endearment From A Wolf's Heart

Family Heirloom

"The accident was two months ago, right?"

I look away from the monitor, at the question coming from the ultrasound technician as she continues staring at the screen in front of her, the transducer in her hand resting over the middle of my abdomen.

"That's right," I say softly. "Exactly two months ago today."

In the dark room, it's just the tech and I. The girl moves the probe down further, more towards the left side of my stomach, before continuing onto the right side. I stare at her expectantly, waiting for an explanation to her question while she keeps clicking buttons and moving her wand about.

"Is everything okay?" I ask.

The tech nods, but she doesn't meet my gaze.

"They might just consider this a high-risk pregnancy is all. It's a miracle this pregnancy survived a car crash like that."

"Oh."

The tech points to the screen on the monitor all of a sudden, tearing my attention back towards the sonogram. The image she points to is of the two alien-looking things resting side by side in the dark empty circle separated by a thin line. I stare at the creatures blankly, unsure of how I even feel about them even being inside of me.

"They both have pretty strong heartbeats," the tech says. That's when I see the little fluttering on the screen coming from the two of them. "It looks like you're measuring at sixteen weeks and two days."

My eyes widen. "But my OBGYN said I was only thirteen weeks," I say quickly, trying to dismiss the idea of having the babies even sooner. This was the last thing I was expecting, and I need as much time as I can to prepare for them.

"Yes. According to your last menstrual cycle you should be, but with these measurements of the babies here being twenty-three days advanced to that, she'll more than likely change your due date to go along with this."

The tech clicks a couple more buttons, takes a couple more measurements, and then she prints out the sonogram and shuts the ultrasound machine down. She cleans the gel off my stomach before handing me the sonogram.

"Congrats. Looks like you'll be having New Year's babies," she says with a smile.

"Thanks," I mutter before leaving the room.

I make my way down the corridor, staring at the image in my hand which shows the babies that Aaron and I had created before his death. I find my mother still in the waiting room for me and she stands as I approach her.

"How'd it go?" She asks. I silently hand her the sonogram and watch as her eyes light up with excitement.

"Oh, you're already sixteen weeks along? Soon you'll be able to find out their gender. Oh baby, I'm so happy for you!"

I'm suddenly enveloped in a tight hug by the woman in front of me. She squeals in my ear softly, and I can tell that she's at least happy about this. I still haven't been able to figure out how I feel about it truthfully, considering the fact that their father won't be in the picture.

Thinking about Aaron brings a wave of nausea over me.

"Mom, I'm not really feeling well. Would you be able to just take me home?"

My mother pulls away, giving me a worried look. "Are you sure? I was going to take you out to lunch at your favorite spot."

I nod. Then shake my head. Then I shrug. I just don't know what to think anymore.

"I'm not really hungry," I finally say.

My mother sighs. "Okay, if you're sure." She leads me towards the elevators in silence, and I'm grateful for it.

The quiet between us as we leave the hospital gives me the chance to go over this pregnancy in my head. I now have only six months to get ready to have kids that I never even planned on having. When I first found out about it during my time in the hospital down in Pittsburgh, I freaked out. I had even contemplated having an abortion, but this was right after finding out about Aaron's death. The idea to me of getting rid of the last and only piece I had left of him felt wrong. I knew if Aaron was alive, he wouldn't have wanted to terminate the pregnancy. Aaron loved kids, and I always knew that one day he'd be a great father, but now he'll never get the chance to try.

I'm sitting there silently on the car ride home, when my crescent scar begins to burn again. It isn't as intense as it was the day I woke up in the hospital, but it seems to be that anytime I think about Aaron, the burning sensation takes place in that spot. Somehow, it's like Aaron and I were connected through that scar.

A single teardrop falls on my cheek. I can feel my mother's eyes on me every couple minutes, and the tension in the car is almost tangible. Thankfully, she doesn't say anything, until she's pulled out front of the studio apartment. Then she finally turns to look at me, forcing me to give her my full attention.

"Kendra, I know you're scared," my mother says, placing a hand on my wet cheek in a caress. It takes me a moment before I can really look her in the eyes without breaking down. "But you'll always have your father and I for support. Please don't think that you have to do this all alone. I, for one, am so excited for you. You know that if the circumstances were different, you would be excited too."

"You mean if Aaron was alive?" I ask, turning my gaze to stare numbly out my window.

Hearing me say his name out loud makes my mother cringe next to me. It was only two short months ago that my whole life changed and I felt like a part of me died with the man I loved. The worst part of it all was that I didn't even get to say goodbye to him.

It seemed that Mr. and Mrs. Maverickson had no intention of meeting me after their son died, so while I was still down in the Pittsburgh hospital recovering from the accident, Aaron's parents held the funeral without me. They buried him at their family gravesite before I even had a chance to see him one last time.

After that, his parents made no attempt to reach out to me. Even when they had come to the hospital to confirm his body while I was there, they couldn't even be bothered to come check on me. I don't know why I ever thought they would though. I guess after finding out that their son and I were pregnant with their soon-to-be grandchildren, a part of me had hoped they would come visit me so I'd be able to lighten their sorrowful hearts with good news. When they never came, I decided then that I wasn't going to waste my efforts trying to get them involved.

I came home and have been relying on my parents completely. For that, I have never felt more grateful. As if reading my thoughts, my mom says the unthinkable next.

"Baby, maybe you should give his parent's a call and tell them what's happening. It might help if you had support from his family as well..." My mom goes to move a strand of hair off my shoulder, trying to seem nonchalant about all of this. "Then maybe all of this wouldn't seem so scary."

I shake my head at her.

"They don't want to hear from me, mom. They've got their own life going on, and the fact that they never even came to see me at the hospital tells me that."

I meet my mother's gaze while trying to prevent more tears from falling out of my eyes. "I'm just the girl their son dated and nothing more. I don't mean anything to them."

"Yeah, but I know it was more than that for you guys, Kendra. The two of you were in love, and anyone who paid enough mind would have seen it. I watched the way Aaron looked at you, and in that he was the kind of man every mom would have ever hoped their daughter would end up marrying one day. I've never met a couple so perfect for each other."

I shrug once again. "They didn't see us together like that, mom. I hadn't even gotten the chance to meet them before..." I swallow the words I'm dreading to say. Even after two months, it's almost unbearable to say it.

Aaron's dead. He died and he's never coming back. Now I have to raise our children all alone.

A sudden sob escapes my mouth, and it isn't until then that I begin to realize just how broken I'm feeling today. I feel my mom's arms come around me in a soothing hug, and I know now that she gets it. While the news of her daughter having babies is exciting for her because it'll make her a grandmother for the first time, I don't think she realized until now just how terrified I am about all this.

"I'm so sorry, Kendra." My mom begins to rub a hand on my back while I continue to sob on her shoulder, letting all the emotions I've been bottling up finally go. "I wish I could tell you things will get easier, but sometimes they don't. I meant what I said though. No matter what happens, your father and I will always be here by your side, supporting and protecting you."

I nod my head silently, still letting her arms hold me until my mind clears and I'm no longer crying. With one final sad smile towards my mom, I finally collect my things and say goodbye to her before heading up to my apartment.

It isn't until I'm inside behind the locked door that I finally calm down. Taking one look around the apartment, I see everything that reminds me of him, and it's almost the worst pain I've ever had to endure.

Ice cream has always been my go-to for days when I'm not feeling myself, but ever since becoming pregnant, the thought of eating it makes my stomach turn. So on days like today, what do I eat to wash out my sorrows? Well, it looks like the only thing I can keep down are Vienna sausages dipped in ranch, so I eat about four cans of them before the nauseating feeling hits. It's okay, I even judge myself for these weird pregnancy cravings.

It's later in the evening now and I'm sitting on the futon in my living room devouring this strange snack when the wall phone begins to ring. I quickly move to answer it, unbalanced, and whacking my foot against the ottoman just before catching myself from falling against the wall. Once I've steadied myself, I pick up the phone with a huff and answer.

"Hello?" I say breathlessly.

"Hello, is this Kendra Barnet?" I instantly know that I don't recognize the voice on the other end.

"It is. Can I ask who's calling?"

"Hello, my name is Matthew Harps and I'm calling on behalf of Amelia Maverickson. I'm her assistant."

"Oh." I pause, slightly confused but also very eager to know why Aaron's mother is suddenly trying to get a hold of me. "Um, what can I do for her?"

"Well first, Mrs. Maverickson sends her condolences as well as an apology that she hadn't done this sooner, but she has requested that I reach out to you so that we can set up a day for her to retrieve her deceased son's personal belongings."

I'm taken back, blinking once and opening my mouth to say something even though nothing comes from it as irritation starts to slowly creep its way into me.

"I'm sorry...what is it she's looking to retrieve?" I ask in slight annoyance.

I take a quick look around our apartment, taking in a view of all the things I have to remind me of the man I once loved who left me behind. Everything that was him was left with me when he died, and now two months later his mother wants to come take some of that away? What makes this matter even better is that this is the first time I've heard anything from her since Aaron's death. Never once did she check up on me until it came down to her getting something from me. Now, all I feel towards her is bitterness.

"She's just requesting some of the family heirlooms and photo albums she believes her son had in his procession."

I don't know why, but the fact that this guy hasn't said Aaron's name once really bugs the crap out of me. I can't let it get to me, just the thought of Aaron makes me start to choke up.

"Oh, okay," I say, rubbing a hand over my face while trying to fix the tone of my voice. "Um, when...when did she have in mind to come?"

"Actually, I believe she was planning on sending someone on her behalf, and is hoping to send someone as soon as possible. Perhaps tomorrow if that's convenient for you?"

Of course she wouldn't be coming herself, because God forbid she'd have to face her deceased son's girlfriend.

"I don't really know what I would be looking for," I say quickly.

If she's looking for a heirloom, she'd be better off finding it herself. I haven't even gone through any of Aaron's things yet. He has a handful of stuff stored away in our loft that I planned on going through, but have been putting it off until the right time. I guess now I have no choice but to get it done.

"That's alright, Miss Barnet. She plans on sending someone who knows what they're looking for."

A shake of my head and I unwillingly agree to have whoever she plans to send over come in to go through my dead boyfriend's belongings tomorrow. After hanging up, I glance up at the loft where Aaron's things are left untouched from before he died.

I'm not ready to deal with this.