Crimson Gold: Rebirths and Redemption

Chapter 2

The sight of him, then, left them astonished, her especially, she had even stupidly thought that he looked like a hero in the folk stories. Apparently, He had taken a horse and rode nonstop from the frontier, just to ask for a chance to talk to her alone and for them to consider their decision. She remembered feeling herself goes red and warm despite how he had hurt her and her family. He was scorned and mocked by every member of her family yet he standed tall and resolute, waiting for a chance. She found herself captivated by that unwavering determination, a quality that, after their eventual marriage, remained the reason she would relent and forgive him for any mistakes. The first time was no different. She asked her mother to give them time, not alone but with someone to observe them from a distance, to know his reason.

In the spring garden, vibrant flowers painted every path with delicate hues, a lush sea of greenery providing a backdrop to their tense walk. The air, still carrying a trace of winter's chill, stirred with the sweet fragrance of blossoms—cherry and jasmine harmonising in a gentle symphony.

He was silent, a head taller than her and formidable, frightening with his large armour and even larger presence, surrounded by the blossoming beauty of the spring garden, each petal a contrast to his tanned and dusty appearance. The vibrant hues of flowers seemed to reflect the tumult within him.

She knows it is improper but she can't deny that even with his rough appearance, her fian- no, her past fiance is a handsome man. straight and sharp eyebrows, resembling the shape of a sword, an almond shaped eyes, and well-defined facial features with a strong jawline. Even his tanned skin and stubbles add to his charismatic wildness. She secretly stared at him under a bowed head but was caught by him as he caught her eyes, both of them turned away, ears turning red.

Silence fills the air, with the only sound she can hear is the thumping of her heart and the weight of his step. Once again she looked at him, eyes tracing his features.

After a thoughtful pause, he began to apologise, “‘I’m sorry,” the words heavy with sincerity and regret. His gaze, once resolute, now held a vulnerability that tugged at her heart, and she remembered the hurt, the pain and the shame, she looked away. Since she had acted so stupid then let her play dumb, after all he had wronged her so much.

"Whatever for?" she replied, her voice carefully neutral.

“I know I’ve hurt you with the postponement of our marriage, but I want you to understand that I have my reason”

A delicate smile played on her lips, a surface-level response to conceal the storm beneath. "Please do not apologise to this maiden," she said, her words measured. "General Jiang hasn't done anything, nor do we have anything. Our engagement is simply an arrangement between our parents. Hence, it doesn't cause this maiden any harm or distress."

She looked at the flower, swaying slightly blown by the spring wind, trying to calm the start of a hot anger in chest, a subtle act to mask the deeper wounds his actions had inflicted on her and her family name. "Your decisions only affect my family's reputation and standing in society."

His eyes flickered with a mixture of regret and an earnest desire for understanding. "Xunmi, you deserve more than just an arrangement. I understand the impact of my decisions on your family's reputation, and I can't express how sorry I am for that."

In the lingering quiet of the garden. Xunmi's eyes, once veiled by indifference, now held a glint of frustration. "And yet, General Jiang, you persistently delay our union, each time with familiar excuses. My family has tried to comprehend your duty in safeguarding the border, but, General, had you not been prepared for marriage, a discreet word to my family would have spared them undue anticipation. I wonder, do you find weaving in and out of commitments a form of entertainment, or is there another motive that eludes my understanding?"

She breathes in her anger and continued, “ I also ask that the general to use my proper title, as I am an unmarried lady.”

He sighed, the weight of his unspoken words palpable in the air. " Lady Xunmi, there are things from my past, shadows that have haunted me. I want to share them with you, but the time is not right. Duty and burdens bind me, and I fear the consequences of revealing too much too soon. Please understand that there are layers to my life that I'm struggling to untangle, and I don't want you caught in the midst of it all."

Xunmi's frustration softened into a contemplative gaze. "General Jiang, if there are burdens you carry, why not share them? We stand at the crossroads of our engagement, and clarity could be the key to unlocking a path forward. I am not a delicate flower that wilts in the face of adversity, I am the eldest daughter of the Lu family and if you would like for us to continue to be engaged, then I would be your wife. Trust me with the truth, and perhaps if you hadn't acted thoughtlessly, we can navigate these shadows together."

He met her gaze, the vulnerability in his eyes bared for a moment. "My lady, you deserve honesty, and I wish to give it to you. But the complexities of my past may not align with the expectations placed upon us. For now, let me beg for your patience, for time to unravel the knots that bind me.”

Silence settled again between them, the spring sun casting a gentle glow on the courtyard, as if trying to calm her growing anger and to try to untie the tangled threads of their uncertain future.

“Then General Jiang, if that is all you would like to say, you shouldn’t have trouble yourself to come here. You should go back, the border needs you”

Stupidly, even when the logical part of her said this, her heart wavered between the pain of societal judgement and the genuine struggle she sensed within him. In that delicate moment, surrounded by the blossoms of spring, she found herself at a crossroads. The echoes of society's whispers lingered. The decision weighed heavily upon her, and as the garden listened in silence, she contemplated the path that lay ahead, she had to say goodbye to the man she had dreamt to marry ever since she was a child.

But he didn’t go, he stood there, his face solemn. "Xunmi, I understand the pain I've caused you, the uncertainty that clouds our engagement. I want to make amends, to build a life where happiness reigns. Please, give me a few months to resolve the pressing matters that tether me to duty. By the end of this year, I promise to make you the happiest woman alive, and we'll seal our union in matrimony."

In that moment, his eyes held a sincerity that resonated with her. He continued, "I've decided to break tradition, to forsake the path of taking concubines. You will be the only woman in my heart, my sole love and companion."

The weight of his promises hung in the air, and as she looked into his unwavering gaze, she felt a flicker of hope. His resolute tone convinced her, and now, 5 years later from this moment, with winter wind chilling her body, she can see it clearly, in that vulnerable moment, how foolish and naive she had been.

“How can I trust you?”

“I’ve never broken my promise and I will never break my promise”

Her heart, once burdened by societal whispers and shadows of doubt, now began to entertain the possibility of a future painted in the hues of happiness. Maybe it was the sincerity in his voice, but something in her began to trust in the assurances he offered.

The decision hung in the delicate balance of her contemplation, swaying between the traditional norms of society and the earnest promises he presented. His commitment to abstain from taking concubines held a profound significance, a departure from the accepted practices. It struck a chord within her, oh! to be the only one loved by someone! creating a sense of marvel that contrasted sharply with the choices made by those closest to her, including her own father.

She thought of her dear father, a respected figure, even he had embraced the conventional path, with his own share of concubines and visit to the pleasure house, she has seen the pain and sadness it causes her mother, and while she does not hate any of her illegitimate siblings, she can’t say the same toward some of their mothers, thank goodness her mother has a strong heart and iis fair in her action and noble in the way she treats them all, that her three sisters, each of them separated taken care by her mother and taught by their teacher and herselfs are good and kind girls that know how to behave accordingly with the Lu household rules. She had heard and seen how some concubine-born child behave in some other household, not knowing their station and some, like Constable Ma household, even dare to bully the legitimate childrens, as their father, Constable Ma is famous for preferring his young and beautiful concubines then his late old wife.

The general's unwavering gaze, a testament to his will, and the firmness in his tone, resonated with a sincerity that sparked a reassessment within her.

“Alright”

Her short simple answer caused him to smile, an elegant quirk on his lips showing a small part of his teeth.

“Thank you for your trust in me”

How truly naive she was and how foolish she had been to trust in his promises.