DREAM TO BE LOVED

PROLOGUE

Prologue:

'Hiling ay matutupad,

'Pag-ibig na hinahangad,

'Dalawang mukha,

'Katawa'y iisa,

'Nakatagong lihim,

'Mabubunyag sa dilim,

'Siya'ng masusugatan,

'At siya'ng aahon,

'Aahon'g nakakulong,

'Ngiti'y makakalimutan,

'Isang susi,

'Lahat ay malulutas,

It was uttered by a mysterious lady that I met at the park. I keep on thinking on that chant or whatever you call that. Simula noong nadinig ko ang mga katagang 'yan ay halos gabi-gabi akong dinadalaw ng parehong panaginip.

I kept on dreaming that I am in the middle of the ocean. It was as if the water has a hand and it was pulling my foot to drown myself deeper on the ocean. Palalim ng palalim. Kinakapos na ako ng hininga.

I tried to move but I can't. It was as if my body was paralyze. I open my mouth and let the water get inside my body. I slowly close my eyes as a sign of giving up, but before I can close my eyes, the mysterious lady's voice filled my ears.

'Umahon ka'

That's what she said. I can't see her but her voice was near on me. It was a whisper at first.

"Umahon ka." She said it again.

Her voice that time is clearer when she said it again. She kept on saying that word, and everytime she utter those words, Her voice became more louder. Until she was shouting it already, like she was mad that I didn't do anything to go up.

"Umahon ka!!!"

Her voice is thin and It was like a dagger on my ears. I wanted to cover my ears, so that I can't hear her, but I just can't move my arms. I also wanted to shout 'stop!' at her, but I can't, I'm out of breath, and as if I can shout on the water.

I can't even control my body. I tried to move, and then move again. I kept on forcing myself to move. Until I can finally move my body.

Mabilis akong lumangoy pataas para makaahon, nang maaninag ko ang liwanag ay mas binilisan ko pa ang pag-langoy pataas, takot na baka hilahin na naman ako pababa, but before I can reach the light, It fades, then the place became dark.

Bigla nalang nawala ang tubig na nakapalibot sa'kin, rason upang mahulog ako sa kadiliman. Napapikit ako at napa-impit ng sigaw. Nang maramdaman ko na ang malamig na sahig ay s'yang pagmulat ng mga mata ko. I'm already at my room. Panting heavily.

Halos maligo ako sa sarili ko'ng pawis. Para ako'ng mauubusan ng hininga. I close my eyes to calm myself. Bumangon ako sa kama ko. I deeply enhale and exhale. I kept on doing that until my breath became steady.

Inisip ko kung ano ang ibig sabihin nung misteryosong babae sa parke. Maybe that lady just misunderstood when she hear me that I want to be loved. I didn't say that I want a lover. What I'm saying is that I want to feel loved by my family. I just felt that my family hated me.

Wherever I go, the people there hates me. I don't want to feel that I'm an unwanted person in this world. I feel like my family doesn't love me or do we need to feel it, in order for us to say that they love us? I don't know, really.

Everybody hates me. Our father died when I was born. When my mother remarried again with Mr. Ariaga, we were happy and they changed their surname into Ariaga, but they didn't changed my surname. I remain a Romero. I don't know why my mother decided not to change my surname but I was upset at that time. Until Mr. Ariaga got accident and died. My mother keeps on crying and she was blaming me to express how she was hurt that Mr. Ariaga died.

I didn't cry infront of everybody, but I cry when I am all alone. I just want to feel it, you know, the feeling of someone caring you, loving you. I don't care if they will love me today, and then tomorrow they will hate me. I don't care. Atleast they did, right?, but no. They never let me feel it.

I never get the chance to see my mother smiling at me. Yes I saw her smiling, but not on me. She never look at me. When she talk to me, she was like talking to another person, because she's not looking at me. She's like avoiding me. Avoiding her own daughter.

Kahit hindi ko na maranasan ang pagmamahal nilang lahat, Atleast kahit isa man lang sa kanila ay mahal ako.

Yes. I wanted to be loved, I badly wanted it, that it became my dream. Every parents asked their child if what's their dream, but I never hear my mother asking me that question, but I hear her asking my sister.

If I will be given a chance to asked about what's my dream then I will answer this.

'I dream to be loved'

No. I'm not a loveseeker. I just badly wanted to be loved that's why I dreamed for it. I maybe sounded like a jealous daughter with my reasons, but my answer will never change, and I will do my very best to fulfill that dream of mine.

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DISCLAIMER

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, some places and incidents are products of the author's imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright©2018 MochamoonLithe.

All rights reserved. No Part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems without permission in writing from the author, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review

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Written on: December 13, 2018

Re-written on: September 22, 2020

Finished on:

@MochamoonLithe

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