The Blood Rose

News

I’ve been here for a week, but I never leave my room and keep the door locked. I won’t even let Zaiden in, he sits outside a lot, just simply telling me about his day and the meetings he’s had, he talks about his family, their likes and dislikes. He told me he had a younger brother named Alex, and called him, I quote “a shithead”. I sit there and listen but I never talk back. They constantly left food outside of my door and I didn’t touch anything for 3 days before I finally gave in, I waited until they left and when I couldn’t sense anyone I unlocked my door and took the food.

My favorite has been something called spaghetti. I also like what they call grilled chicken with an asparagus cream sauce along with broccoli.

I like learning little things about myself, like how I actually enjoy reading. I also love to learn new things, I read more about the royals, Zaiden brought me books and left them outside the door for me so I can get to know more about the world and myself, but the more I read about the curse on royals the more I believe that I’m not that abomination mentioned. But I am according to what was said. King Alfred had me with another werewolf royal.

Of course no one would call me an abomination to my face, Zaiden refers to me as a miracle instead.

I sigh as a knock sounds throughout the room. “It’s Dr. Mark, Can I come in? I have some concerning test results and I need to talk to you.”

“Is it just you?” I ask.

“Yes.” He responds, I walk over to the door and unlock it, letting the old man in before ushering him to take a seat with me.

As we sit down he clears his throat. “You remember how we took some blood tests a week ago?” I nod, signalling him to continue. “Well, the labs were a bit backed up but we got your results, You are malnourished but that’s being corrected, we did a full panel, including a blood pregnancy test.”

I feel the color drain from my face, noting that his voice is serious but his eyes are sad. “Don’t” I state through gritted teeth.

I can’t be. It can’t be true.. It just can’t. “I’m sorry but I need to inform you, It came back positive” I tune him out when he said that, fear and hatred consuming my body, not hate for the life inside of me, but hate for Martin, my captor for a year, before I knew what was happening Saffron clawed her way out and forced me to shift, pushing me into the back of our mind.

‘I’ll protect us, don’t be scared Kai, I’ll get us and our pup out of here and safe, I don’t want to leave our mate but I need to protect you more.’ she says through our mind link before growling at the very scared doctor and walking over to the door, silently demanding he opens it, which he does.

She takes off running through the hallways, trying to find a way out of here as I panic in the back of our mind. ‘Kai, calm down I need to focus’ she growls at me causing me to numb myself, shutting out my thoughts and emotions.

She turns the corner and comes face to face with Zaiden.

“Kaianne what are you doing?” He asks, putting his hands up as a sign that he means no harm.

Saffron growls at him as she hunches low into a protective stance.

“Saffron, I won’t hurt you, you know that. What are you doing?” She just growls at him again in warning to not come any closer.

“I can’t let you leave until you calm down, I can’t have you growling and possibly harming our people.” He states as he crosses his arms.

Saffron glares at him before turning around and running in the opposite way just to be stopped by the guards that were standing in front of the doctor.

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Zaidens pov

I was stunned when Kai’s wolf form almost crashed into me, I was even more stunned when she took a protective stance and growled at me multiple times and how she glared at me and took off when I told her she couldn’t leave in this state.

I mind-linked and alerted the guards to keep an eye out and to not let her leave but to also give her space, when I followed her I saw her in front of two guards and Mark. “Doc, what’s going on?” I ask him, careful to keep an eye on saffron.

“She freaked out when I informed her of her test results.” He refuses to look me in the eye. “What were those results?” I ask, causing Saffron to growl louder. Mark’s fearful eyes meet hers before he turns to me. “She’s pregnant”

A dull ache settled into my chest at his words. She’s scared and lost, probably angry too and now she has another life to protect. She probably couldn’t handle it so Saffron took over and now they’re trying to escape...

I sit down on the floor so I’m eye level with her hunched wolf. “I won’t let anyone harm you or our pup, okay? You know you can trust me.”

She growls at me, not budging. “If you want to leave when you calm down I will let you, but I won’t risk you or our people while you are like this, I will never hurt you, never. But I need you to calm down so go back to your room, please.”

She huffs before heading towards her room with me, Mark and the guards following her. When she gets to her room she growled at the door before making distance between her and it so I could open it for her, when I back away she goes into her room and pushes her weight against the door, successfully closing it.

I sit on the floor outside the door, sighing to myself. “Tell me everything.”

Mark sighs. “I don’t know how much she listened to but she’s pregnant, I’m not sure how far along but I’m guessing about 6 weeks but she’ll have to have an exam, and an ultrasound to make sure the pup is healthy. We’ll have to give her some vitamins and probiotics as well as put her on a diet to make sure her and the pup are getting the proper nutrients they need.”

“She never lets anyone in her room, She’s locked herself in there for a week, I try, everyday I sit out here and talk to her but she never talks back, I don’t even know if she listens to me. I don’t know what to do.” I say as I hang my head in my hands, feeling utterly defeated, my heart aching for her.

“Has she been around any females?” Mark asks

“No..” I sigh again.

“Send your mother here. She might not trust men at all after everything. She might feel more comfortable in a woman’s presence.”

“I’ll talk to her, hopefully she’ll know what to do.” I shake my head as I get to my feet, feeling hopeless. How can I help my people when I can’t even help my mate?

I mind-linked my mother and told her to meet me in my office before making my way there. When I find out who did this to her I will kill them. They took away her innocence, forced her to be a mom, took away however long of her life and now she’ll have a constant reminder of what happened to her. I will love her pup like it’s my own and help her raise it if that’s what she wants. I’ll even adopt it when it’s born.

I just hope she’ll get through this.

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Kaianne’s pov

Saffron finally gave me control back after an hour, now I’m back in my human form and laying in my bed with thoughts racing around my mind.

How will I raise a pup when I know nothing of love? I don’t even know what to do with one, I’ve never been around any. I can fight like there’s no tomorrow, I can kill someone with a flick of my wrist, I can tell you anything about the royal families, I can strategize for war but I don’t know the first thing about being a parent.

What If I accidentally break my pup? What if I drop it? What if it hates me like my own father did?

How often do they need to eat? What if it starves because of me?

A knock fills the room, interrupting my impending panic attack, I stay silent and hope whoever it is goes away.

I hear a sigh before a woman speaks, “Kaianne? It’s Rayne, Zaid’s mother”

I still refuse to say anything, deciding to roll over and face the window. “Honey, I know you’re probably scared right now, angry too. I know I would be, but I promise I only want to help. You know, I do have lots of embarrassing stories about Zaid and Alex”

“Come in” Was all I could say, she probably won’t leave if I don’t let her in.

She walked in and sat on the edge of my bed. “I brought snacks. I figured you would be hungry.”

I stare out the window as she sits there. “Am I a prisoner here?”

“Oh honey, no. Zaiden just didn’t want you to accidentally hurt someone in your panic or for anyone to hurt you.”

I slowly sit up and rest against the headboard. “I don’t know how to be a mom. I don’t even know how to love anyone. How can I raise a baby?” Tears fell down my face as she looked at me with sympathy filled eyes. “Honestly, I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant with Zaid. I was always awkward around babies and children and when I gave birth to him I was afraid to hold him, I didn’t want to break him.” She smiles at the memory.

“Why are you smiling?” I ask. “Because Doc put him in my arms anyway. I fell in love instantly and when I looked into his eyes for the first time most of my fears melted away.” she takes a breath, her eyes looking into mine. “What I’m trying to say is that it’s normal to be scared and it isn’t going to go away, Zaiden says you like to read and study different things, is that true?”

“Yeah, reading and studying is like an escape, I get out of my head and focus on other things.”

“Then I have a bunch of books you’ll be interested in. I still have books from back when I was expecting. There’s pregnancy ones and parenting ones, if you want them, they’re yours.” She smiles softly at me.

“Really? There’s actually books that will help me be a good mom?” I ask with wide hope filled eyes.

“Honey, I already think you’d make a good mom, but yes they will help you to understand what a child will need, although pups are tougher than human babies.”

“I’m sorry that I’ve been difficult.” I hung my head in shame.

“Don’t, Don’t apologize for taking time for yourself. You’ve been through hell and back, if you need a week, take it, if you need a month, take that too. Just promise me that you’ll come to me if you need help, or if you just wanna talk or if you don’t want to be alone. Zaid is also there for you but under the circumstances I understand you wanting your space.”

“I promise but I’m still sorry and I do want to let Zaiden in, I just don’t know how to, I trust him, I do. But being with him means I’ll have to look after a whole pack, I barely know how to look after myself, how can I be what your people need when I couldn’t be what I needed? I have never been anything but a prisoner and now I have all this pressure on me and I don’t even know who I really am.” I rub my temples, feeling a headache coming on.

“You’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for and you are speaking to a former queen, I could help you and guide you through it.” She smiles as she smooths out her knee length dress. “I’ll get the books for you and bring them over with lunch later, okay?”

“Okay, Thank you.”

“Oh before I forget, Would you be okay with me setting up your first prenatal visit?” She smiles at me before she crosses the room.

“Is that to do with the pup?” I ask

“Yes basically they take a urine sample and some blood work to make sure everything’s okay and they will have to do an examination down there in what I like to call ‘my ladytown’, but I can request a female to do it for you” I feel my eyes go wide at her words “Why do they need to be near there?”

“I’m not a doctor so I don’t know the exact details but I think the doctor will wanna check for any damage and just to make sure you’re healthy enough to eventually deliver a baby naturally”

“Okay. Thank you, really. I really appreciate what you are doing, I’ve never had a woman figure around that I could look up to but, I hope I can be as kind as you are one day.” I smile at her causing tears to form in her eyes. “Oh honey, You’re already very sweet and kind. I’m really glad you’re here.”

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Rayne came back after a couple hours and we mostly just sat and chat, she told me really funny stories about Zaiden and Alex when they were younger and some actually made me laugh, It felt nice spending time with her, She even showed me how to use the tv on my own and explained how the bathtub worked. I felt really stupid for not knowing but she didn’t look at me weirdly or judge me.

She told me more about mates and the bond and answered every question I had, she also referred to herself as the grandma to my pup, and told me that she looks at me as one of her own children and that being Zaidens mate means she got her first daughter, She told me about her mate and I could see the love in her eyes when she talked about him. She also cared a lot about Zaiden and Alex too, her face would light up every time either of them came up in our conversation, After a while I started feeling tired so she left and I took a small nap.

I haven’t touched the books yet, I kinda want to talk to Zaiden, I heard what he said when Saffron took control, but what if he was just saying that to try and calm me down? I have decided I am going to keep my pup, It’s still a part of me no matter how it was conceived.

I just hope Zaiden is okay with all of this, I hope he’s okay. Rayne told me he was mostly just worried about me and that he’s fine but I kinda want to see it for myself, I also don’t really like how empty I feel when he’s not around and Rayne said that was the mate bond, once we meet our mate it’s hard to be without them, that’s why mates usually move in together right away, but she said Zaiden’s giving me my space cause he doesn’t want me to feel pressured into being with him which is sweet of him.

I dream about the day we spent in the small garden in our wolf forms, how he was panicked when he couldn’t see me and how he licked my cheek when I tackled him, his confusion when I called him ‘dream wolf’. I cherish that day we spent together but I’m still not ready to let him in. I guess I’m just scared, what if he treats me like Alfred did? Or martin? What if he’s only faking being nice just to trap me? My spirit says I can trust him, Saffron tells me our mate would never hurt me but when she gets protective of me she wants to keep me away from him too, It’s confusing. ‘I’m sorry Kai, You can trust him, I just get over-protective.’ Saffron bows her head.

It’s true, Royal werewolves tend to be more protective and possessive than an Alpha and that’s saying something because Alpha’s are extremely protective of their pack and mates, Wolves are built to protect and kill. If they feel threatened they will attack but the human in us balances that out. Saffron is very protective of me though. ‘I am’ she flicks her tail proudly. ‘More so than any other wolf’ I smile at her.

I like having her around, even though she doesn’t talk a lot, I like knowing I’m not alone, and now we have a pup we’ll never be alone again, our pup is our new reason for living. ‘I’ll die for our pup’ She howls and gives her tail a small wag. ‘I would too’ I admit.

“I may not know you yet, but you are already so precious and I’m glad I get this journey with you” I speak softly, resting a hand on my belly even though there is no bump yet.

“I’ll protect us” I promise my pup while soothingly rubbing circles on my tummy.