Mia

Two

Mia

I woke up late the next day, per usual, expecting to pour a bowl of cereal and chill with the fam before school. That was always the safest time to spend with them, since they all knew not to bug me that early. I wasn’t an actual psycho. I did enjoy spending time with them all, just in a distant, nonintrusive way. 

            Ava was the morning person, who always went on a morning run. In fact, she usually was just getting home and cleaned up by the time I crawled out of my cave. But this morning she was crying at the breakfast bar while my parents comforted her. 

What the hell?

Had Cade broken up with her or something? Would she confide in my parents about something like that? I could never imagine being that close with them. 

“Who died?” I grumbled. 

“Mia!” Mom chided, earning an eye roll from me. “Someone spray-painted your sister’s car,” she added, her dark brows creased.

“What?” I screeched very attractive like before storming to the front porch. “What the f**k?” I yelled loud enough to wake the neighborhood when I took in the sight of my sister’s car covered in hot pink, spray-painted profanities. 

Who the hell would do something like that?

Especially to my twin who was loved by all?

Wait… oh God. 

They wouldn’t have done this, would they? 

The thought had me breaking out in a cold sweat. I rushed back in the house, demanding to know who did it, but they obviously didn’t know. 

Play it cool, Mia. You can’t make them think you know anything. 

“I have to to get ready for school,” Ava declared, getting off her stool. She looked so lost, so broken. The image made me want to murder someone… or run for my life. “Can I use your car, Mom?” 

Of course, she was worried about going to school. 

“Ava, you can’t go to school today.” Mom shook her head. 

“But I have stuff to do today,” she argued, remaining the most dedicated person in the universe. “And I have to take Rabia to school.”

“Sweetheart, the police will be here any second.” Dad gripped her shoulders while my stomach sank to the floor. The police. What if… what if they somehow connected this to me? What if they found out how terrible a person I was? “You’ll have to talk to them, and we’ll have to talk to the insurance company and a body shop.” 

Hope sparked in my chest. If they were going to let Ava stay home, I was totally going to jump on that wagon. I wouldn’t even have to find out for sure if it was them. I could pretend someone had a grudge against my sister and that this wasn’t entirely my fault. Ah, sweet denial. It was the best way to handle things. 

“Does that mean I don’t have to go either?” I blurted, probably looking the exact opposite of Ava, who looked like someone kicked her puppy. 

“No, young lady.” Mom gave me a look, effectively shooting my hopes to Hell. “I’ll take you on my way to the gallery, and we can pick Rabia up too.” My heart pounded in my chest, making me want to throw an epic fit again. When I didn’t move, my mom added, “You better get back upstairs and get ready.”

I did pitch a little fit before stomping up the stairs. It was an act to hide what was really there. Before looking at my phone, I knew what I would find, but I had to be sure. For some goddamn reason. 

There it was. Another warning from Kenny that had me running to the bathroom to throw up what little was in my stomach. 

Kenny: If you think that’s bad, keep pissing me off and see what happens. Meet me behind the lockers for your pickup. 

I got the message loud and clear. They knew I wasn’t scared for myself. How they figured out how much I actually cared about Ava…who the hell knew? The fact they figured it out so easily made me want to throw up some more. Even being twins, I worked very, very hard to act like I didn’t care about her at all. We didn’t even run in the same circles. God, I was such an i***t. 

I was a mess. Covered in a sheen of sweat, my long hair tangled, raccoon eyes my best feature. In the fifteen minutes I had to get ready, I got showered, dragged on some super skinny jeans, a three-quarter-sleeve shirt to cover the bruises on my arm from Kenny, and twined my hair in a fancy side braid. 

When Mom and I headed out the door, police officers were already sitting in the family room talking to Dad. The freaking police! I would have thought Pierce would be there, since he was close to the family, but he must not have been on duty. 

That’s a good thing, Mia! I reminded my vacuous side, who was slightly disappointed. 

With how damn smart he was, he would have figured out I was scared and totally the reason my sister’s car was destroyed. 

We picked Rabia up, and Mom told her all the details about our awesome morning. She cried for her best friend. Should I cry for my sister? Is that what someone who cares does? 

When we pulled up to the school, Cade showed up out of nowhere and approached Rabia with a grumpy look. She glared at him with teary eyes before storming off. What the hell had he done to deserve that? It must have had to do with why Ava was upset the day before. 

            After realizing I was his only hope for information, he turned to me. My act was back in the form of a smirk and snarky comment. “What’d you do to piss her off, loverboy?” 

            He squinted before shaking his head, as if holding back what he really wanted to say to me. “I have no idea.” He shrugged. “Hey, is Ava okay?” 

            “Some asshole spray-painted her car,” I snarled, unable to hold in the fury that was mostly directed at myself. The outburst had me reinforcing the emotional stronghold in my mind. 

            Having to say it out loud for the first time made it so real. My sister’s car was ruined because of me. It wasn’t an enormous deal, cars could be fixed, but Kenny made his point. He didn’t have any problem destroying someone’s property. He had already bruised me quite a few times; he was capable of much more. 

            Cade’s eyes about popped out of his head. “What?” he shouted, making me jump. 

            Maybe I shouldn’t have told him. But then he would have had to hear it from some other asshole whispering about it in the hallways. “Yeah, it’s really bad.” I nodded, keeping my voice low in hopes to avoid eavesdroppers hearing the juicy news. “Hot pink spray paint, horrible words. It’s awful.” 

            His hands fisted at his sides, while my stomach tied itself in a million knots. “Is she okay?” 

             My vacant expression had to be replaced before I bawled my eyes out for causing this horrible thing to happen. “Can’t tell ya. She was pretty upset this morning and even more so when she talked to the cops. But we left while they were there, so I don’t know how she’s doing now.” 

            She had to be okay. She would bounce back. I was sure of it. 

            When the bell rang, the decision was made. I told Cade I was heading to class, though I wasn’t sure he heard me. He appeared to be debating whether he should head to class or bolt to his car. I really hoped Ava wouldn’t go all weird on him, because he seemed like an actual good guy—the type I would never end up with. 

            Chill with the pity party, Mia, and go find douchebag Kenny.

            He was where he said he would be. He was glaring at his phone, his free hand holding his backpack strap, tapping an impatient beat out on it. But when he looked up and saw me approaching, he smirked. Actually f*****g smirked. As if he’d won some sick game by spray-painting my sister’s car. Freaking prick. 

            I almost turned around and went on my way, but I didn’t want to cause more trouble for anyone. Without saying a word, I gave him my best glare and held out my hand. The smirk faltered, eyes becoming thin slits before he shifted his backpack to pull out a large plastic bag filled to bursting with tiny baggies of white pills. It would barely fit in my purse. My hand trembled when he handed it to me, but I let my anger take the forefront. 

            “I can’t believe what you did,” I accused while situating the bag in my purse as inconspicuously as possible. 

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he played dumb, crossing his arms over his chest, but that slimy smirk was back. 

            “You’re such an ass,” I sneered, shaking my head before taking a few steps back. “This is my last round. I’m done for good after this.” 

            Anger flashed through his gaze, but I kept my cool. He couldn’t do anything to me here. “We’ll see about that,” he snarled. 

            “I’m serious, Kenny. Don’t ask me again. The answer is no.” 

            With a flip of my braid, I turned on my heel. I should have known better. Fingers dug into my arm, the same one he had bruised the day before, causing a gasp to escape me. 

            “Don’t forget whose you are.” His hot breath was on my ear. I hated that feeling. 

            With a yank of my arm, I shoved him away. “I belong to no one.” I wished I could light him on fire with my eyes, but I could only give him my best unfathomable glower. 

            “Again, we’ll see.” He chuckled before walking away. 

            I was so shaken I had to skip my entire first hour, which made me mad as hell. My classes were my favorite part of school, contrary to most everyone’s belief. The anger was only fueled when I had to do my rounds and slowly empty my purse. Every time someone came in the bathroom, I was certain I would get busted, but I somehow made it through the day unscathed. I was determined to stick to my word. This was my last day. No matter what they did, I would never deal again. 

            Rumors spread about the student council president, Trent—who actually dealt after school hours and was also a top-dollar consumer—getting his face pounded by Cade. I did a little happy dance when I heard the news. Word spread that he was gloating about Ava being messed with, which meant Kenny probably used Trent to do his dirty work, thus making me even happier Cade beat the s**t out of him. 

            At the end of the day, Mom was so occupied with Rabia and their other friend, Mason, coming over to be with Ava, I’m pretty sure she didn’t even notice me. With Rihanna blasting, I holed up in my room while Ava hung out with her friends, pondering what the hell I was going to do with myself. Kenny was surely going to keep this up if I didn’t comply. I wasn’t sure how far he would go. Would he actually have someone hurt Ava to get to me? Hopefully she would start hanging out with Cade a bunch so they couldn’t mess with her anymore and I could get out of it scot-free. 

            Ha! Like that’s going to happen.

            At least I still had a backup plan.

            While I wallowed, I took the opportunity to read my latest email received from our brother, Kai, who was in the air force stationed in Germany. We hadn’t seen him in over a year because he hardly took any of his leave the previous year, but he was trying to get leave approved so he could make it to Ava’s and my graduation. 

            He emailed me at least once a week. Even though I never replied to them, I always read them, always thought up what I would respond with, but never worked up the courage to click the send button.

            Mia. 

            This is about the thirtieth email I’ve sent without a response. But I’m just going to keep on sending. I think it’s bullshit you don’t even talk to your brother about whatever is going on with you. You can talk to me… 

            I know we never really talked to each other about deep s**t, but that’s just how you and I function. But now, after all this silence, you need to open up. Tell me what’s going on with you. Did some guy mess with you? Do I need to come home and kick someone’s ass? You can tell me. You can tell me whatever it is. I won’t judge. I’ll just be here for you. 

            After what happened to Ava’s car today, I don’t think I can handle the silence on your end much longer. 

            Just. Email me back. Okay? 

            Kai

            I missed the hell out of my pushy brother. While my heart ached for what had happened to my sister, for what I had caused, I took the time to write out a response. 

            Kai. 

            I broke things off with Kenny two days ago. He got pissed at me, at the fact I didn’t want to deal anymore. That’s why he had Ava’s car spray painted. So I dealt again today, because I care about Ava, and they figured that out. I have to do what I can to make sure nothing else happens to her.

            Maybe I can try again. Maybe I can get away with not dealing anymore. It’s unlikely. But I have a plan. I have a plan to get out… and you’ll probably hate me for it. I just don’t know how else to get out. 

            I do care about all of you. I love you all. Even though I screwed up my life, I hope you all can love me too. 

            Mia. 

            The email was filed away in my saved drafts, along with the other thirty or forty I had already written. It was almost like a digital journal that I kept where I confessed all the shitty stuff I had done and never sent them to the person I should have been talking to. If he had ever actually received any of them, he probably would have taken leave just to come home and shake some sense into me. 

            But he was right. He and I never talked to each other, or to anyone else for that matter, about the serious stuff. You could call us stoic, whatever. Ava was our opposite. Maybe that was why she and Kai got along so well, because they were complete opposites, so they didn’t clash like Kai and I did. Ava was just so lovable. I resented her for that. Being the black sheep of the family was fine by me. 

            The house was quiet most of the day. Mom checked on me when she got home from the gallery, but I told her I was doing homework, which I actually was, but only to keep my mind busy. Around eleven I heard Ava come back in, but instead of footsteps on the stairs, the garage door opened and closed, which was where Dad had parked her car that morning. 

            I had to go down, had to let her know that I actually did care. When I opened the garage door, she spooked and went to get up when she saw it was me. 

            “Stay put,” I told her and took a seat next to her on the steps. We stared at her car for a long, silent moment wherein the guilt suffocated and smothered me. “I’m really sorry about your car.”

            “Um, thank you?” she responded with much sarcasm.  

            “I’m serious, Ava.” I turned my gaze on her, wanting her to see, to understand just how sincere I was being. “You didn’t deserve it. You’re not any of the things they wrote on there.” Her mouth hung open for a second, making me feel like I should work on my apology techniques. “I also came out here to thank you for having my back on Saturday. You made sure I didn’t get in trouble—you stuck your neck out for me, and then I was a b***h to you. So I’m sorry about that too.” 

            “Yeah, you were a b***h,” she confirmed with a nod, making me chuckle. “But being a b***h doesn’t mean your sister shouldn’t have your back. I’ll always have yours, Mia.” 

            “Thanks, Av.” I leaned over, giving her a very rare, awkward side-hug. “I hope they find the fucker who did that to your car. I can’t wait to see Daddy make them pay.” 

            “Yeah, me either,” she agreed, before giving me a sideways glance. The concerned eyes made me instantly wish I hadn’t come down. “So… um… Kai, he, um, he said Pierce told him he’s worried about you.” She paused while I used all my acting skills to keep my face straight and made a vow to beat the hell out of Pierce for saying something to Kai. “But that’s just silly. What would Pierce know that your family doesn’t? Am I right?” 

            “It’s nothing, Ava. He’s just being overprotective. Just like Kai.” And beyond nosey, but I kept that bit to myself. “I promise, it’s nothing.” 

            With a nod, she cleared her throat. “But the other night, when you were drunk, you said you did something terrible. You asked for help. Please, Mia, please let me help you with whatever you’re dealing with.” 

            I could have confided in her then and there. She was a kickass twin sister; she would have done everything she could to help me. But I had already tried that once, and it hadn’t worked out so great. It was the morning before her date with Cade, the very date I drunkenly interrupted. I was all ready to tell her everything, maybe even cry on her shoulder. When I knocked on her door, she opened it dressed and ready for her run. All I could think was how big of a screwup I was. Her bringing up me trying to confide in her when I was piss drunk only solidified how much of one I was. I couldn’t tell her, my perfectly prim sister, who had never had a drink of alcohol in her exemplary life. 

            Nope. I couldn’t tell her. Not because she would judge me or be mad at me, but because this was my mess, not hers. 

            “I said it’s nothing. And besides, I was drunk, saying a bunch of nonsense. You don’t need to worry.” Igave her car a weary eye, wrapping my arms around myself, wishing the damn car would disappear.

            “Okay. I believe you,” she conceded, though I could hear the lie. She never was talented at it like I was. “Well, thanks for coming out here, for being nice.” 

            “I was due.” I gave her a sad smile, because I was tired of being a b***h to her. Of being one to everyone I cared about.  

            She stood, holding a hand out to me. “We should get to bed.”

            I took it and let her help me up. When we got to my room, I gave her another awkward hug, wishing s**t like that would come naturally to me some day. It probably never would. 

            The text Kenny sent me that night made me realize how little I knew. How I would have to comply… at least a little, until I could figure out how to get away. 

            Kenny: Noah won’t tolerate you getting out. If you keep f*****g around, Mia, you’ll wish you were dead.