Living in the Shadows

Hooked

I got hooked to this woman like a drug. I miss her scent, I miss her face, I miss everything about her.

I just want to be with you Macky.

I just met this woman once, and just heard stories about her from Gali but why am I obsessing over her this much?

“Bro, send me Macky’s number.” I texted Galileo.

VCard Received:

Macky Johnson

+639191234567

“You are just awesome!” I replied to Gali.

I texted Macky right away, but she is not replying. Not sure if Gali gave me the wrong number or Macky is just ignoring me.

Should I call her? But she might freak out.

I called Gali instead, “Bro, are you at school? Where are you?”

“Yeah, I’m at school, we have a major exam today so I may not come to the soccer practice later, you called because of the practice right?” Gali answered catching his breath, he sounded like he is walking, and I could hear some voices in the background.

“Are you with Macky right now?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m with her and our friends right now. We’re on our way to the university laboratory for our next subject.” He answered.

“Why is she not responding to my texts?” I asked.

“I don’t know, should I ask? Hey Macky! A friend texted you. I gave him your number.” Gali laughed, I heard some background noise, then it went silent.

“Hello bro, you still there?” I asked, I checked my phone to see that the call got disconnected.

 I went out of my house, headed to the garage to get my car. I decided to visit Gali at school. Or should I say that I decided to see Macky? I sounded like a stalker, seriously. I started the engine then started driving.

Macky you are driving me crazy.

I’ve never done this before, never in my entire life. I have never got so hooked on anyone before.

Is this love? I asked myself as I drive along the busiest and most congested road in Manila – EDSA.

“Well hello EDSA, will I see my ‘forever’ here?” I murmured as I got stuck in the traffic. Cars honking around me.

I can’t believe that I am doing this for a woman. I am not even sure if she would be interested in me, or if she would like me. She’s been ignoring my texts. She won’t reply, not even one ‘Hi’. I am so pathetic. I look like an obsessed stalker driving from the southern part of the island just to have a glimpse of this woman. How insane is that?

It took me a couple of hours just to park at the diner near their university gate. That is just ridiculous. The idea of going to this place in the middle of the day is just ridiculous. Who on earth would brave such crazy traffic in the middle of the day just to see a woman? I am, I am that insane. I called Gali to check on him, and to know where they at.

The number you dialed is either unattended or out of coverage area, please try again later.

I tried calling Gali again, but as soon as I pressed the call button, I saw Macky with her friends pass by.

My brain is already wired to the idea of seeing this woman, and here she is. What are the odds that I would see her right away?

She looks so plain and simple yet exquisite, she is just wearing a plain white V-neck shirt with her gold necklace, a pair of jeans, and a pair of white sneakers. She has her books on her left arm and her shoulder bag on the right.

Macky depicts the definition of sophisticated beauty.

When I met her, she was in her white gown, with accents of gold, she looked like a goddess on her full glam make-up. Now that I am seeing her in her simplest look, she still looks like a goddess to me, a goddess in disguise, in her human form. I just froze inside my car, watching her walk, watching her laugh as she talks to her friends, her face is so angelic. The way she laughs, made my heart flutter.

I want to be the reason you are smiling…

I want to be the reason you are laughing Macky…

After few minutes, I saw Gali. He was running from behind Macky’s group of friends. When he was able to keep up, he grabbed Macky’s bag and carried her books. Macky just smiled and tugged Gali’s arm. She looks too comfortable with him. They continued walking and went inside the diner.

I suddenly felt a weird feeling inside me. It felt like someone pinched my chest.

“What are you up to tonight? Two bots?” I texted Gali, pertaining to having a couple of drinks.

“Sure, where?” he replied.

 “I’ll bring some drinks to your place, see you later around 8 PM.” I texted back.

I left and headed to my soccer practice.

(No Reply by Beatles playing)

That night, after my soccer practice, I headed to Gali’s place. I brought two bottles of Jack Daniel’s Black label.

This is how real men talk.

As soon as I got off the car, I saw Macky, why is she here? She was with their friends, Gali bid them goodbye as they hop on a cab.

“Text me once you get home!” Gali shouted as soon as the cab started moving. All I heard were giggles and goodbyes.

He turned around and saw me standing near the gate. “I didn’t notice you arrived. Come on let’s start the PARTEY!” he grabbed the bottles I am holding and headed inside the house.

“Was that Macky?” I asked as we approach his house’s front door.

“Yep, we had to finish our group project.” He answered.

“Oh shoot! I should have asked them to stay a little longer, totally slipped off my mind that you would come over.” He wrinkled his nose and shook his head.

“Sorry bro, I totally forgot that you want to see her again.” Gali added.

We settled on the garden, played some music on his iPod which was hooked up on the mini speakers. We started drinking and I told him about how the practice went since he missed it. I told Gali that he should be there for our next practice since we would be joining a tournament and we need his help in winning it.

We talked about a lot of things, we talked about his school, how it is going for him since this is his third course, and how his parents are putting pressure on him to finish his studies since he already shifted multiple times.

“It’s different this time, for some reason, I just found an inspiration to finish this course. My squad here is pretty cool too. You’ll meet them eventually.” Gali shared his thoughts. We finished one bottle and we're onto our second bottle when I tried sharing my thoughts.

“What do you think about Macky?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” he just asked back.

“Like, how do you see her?” I threw another question.

“I like her…”  he answered and sipped his drink.

“Like a sister, I guess.” He added.

For some reason, I felt relieved and started opening up.

“I like Macky, I want her.” I sipped my drink and looked at Gali with a serious expression on my face.

“Ever since I met her…on the day you bailed out, you know, for the dance on her 18th birthday… when we were dancing, I felt a strange feeling…” I continued spitting out the emotions haunting me for days and weeks.

“Seriously?” He laughed.

“I know in my heart that I never felt this way before to any woman. I can’t stop thinking of her. I just know that she is the woman I want to be with. I just want to be with Macky, Gali. I want her so bad.” I added.

“She is like a drug I am addicted to. I just want to see her, to hold her, to be with her.” I uttered.

“Just don’t hurt her.” I saw the shift of his facial expression from being comical to a serious one, he patted my back and took another sip on his drink.

(Photograph by Ed Sheeran playing)