Crossing Paths

chapter 4

Our relationships are powerful elements in our lives, which is a major reason why starting over after divorce at 50 (or any age!) can be such a pivotal moment. Realizing your marriage is no longer viable can make you feel that your entire life is over and that there is nothing to look forward to. But never fear—your life is still yours. There are chapters of your life yet to be written and new people you haven’t met yet waiting to adore you, whether platonically or romantically. You might also find yourself just truly enjoying being on your own after the compromise of a sub-par relationship.

"I hope I look back at this someday and feel peace and happiness and understand that this turmoil and tumultuous time all happened for a reason and a greater good.” She wrote that in her journal on a very, very dark day when her first marriage was ending. It was what made her so emotional a few days after her second divorce because she realized she finally felt that peace and happiness.

She was in her early 30s, enduring a daily, robotic cycle of carpooling and cupcakes. She had lived for five years in the professional and literal wilderness, having left New York City and her career as a history-based journalist for rural life with her ex-artist husband. During that time, she wrote a novel about marriage and the sacrifices people make when they decide to commit to one other person in this one life. She began to feel itchy, and impatient, with a sense that something new might be imminent. When her niece turned thirteen, the pinprick of light at the end of the tunnel suddenly turned into a hole the size of a quarter. She started wearing lipstick in the morning. She retired the unkempt ponytail. She was less aware of the dwindling supply of emotions left in her body. She knew she had to begin to plan life on the other side of partying.

It was raining heavily. Loud thundering, dark clouds and people were running here and there to save themselves from getting drenched. Between all of this, there was a broken soul drenched in the rain with tears falling from their eyes, shivering in cold. She seemed to be lost in life. She was walking emotionlessly on the street remembering those sad heart-wrenching memories. Unaware of the car speeding toward her. She was remembering her beloved father, remembering the love of her life whom she had loved and trusted more than anything in this world. More tears fell down her cheeks while remembering her first husband. The one whom she loved and worshipped as a God, destroyed and broke her beyond repair. The second marriage was a failure from the start. How can a marriage based on lies ever be successful?

As she was crossing the road, a loud screeching sound was heard and, in a moment, she was lying on the road with blood dripping from her forehead and legs. People started gathering and making a crowd. Some of the people were feeling pity, some were feeling scared, and some of them were just sad. Jessabelle was unable to hear anything, and everything was blurry to her. Blood was the only last thing she saw while closing her eyes.

From the crowd, an old woman who was buying some flowers from the nearby shop saw the accident and rushed to her. She felt sorrow by looking at her condition and decided to help her and called the ambulance. A few people came near and placed her on the bench, After a while, the ambulance took her to the hospital and she was admitted to the ICU. The old woman who called the ambulance also came along with her. As the doctor came, she started asking him about Jessabelle’s condition.

“Excuse me, Doc! The girl who was admitted an hour ago, is she alright?” she asked with sheer sorrow and worry. “I will tell you everything but first tell me one thing, is she your daughter?”

“Yes. You can think like that. She is like my daughter,” the woman replied.

“Please come with me to my cabin.” The woman followed the doctor and was led to a large size cabin. “Look ma’am, the patient had a severe injury on her head and both her legs are fractured. We will be starting her operation tomorrow but, before that, we need her parent’s or guardian’s consent. You need to sign this consent letter and the patient’s information form. After that, we can start her surgery. Since we found her medical insurance card, you won’t be needing to pay any expenses. However, you would be signing the insurance papers for claiming to be her mother,” He explained everything.

“I need some time to think,” the woman thought for a while and replied. With that, she left his cabin and went back to her orphanage. She was a widow and owned an orphanage where a lot of orphans lived. As she went inside all the kids surrounded her and asked for chocolates. She smiled gracefully and gave all of them the chocolates and placed the flowers near God’s idol. She went into her office and found him sleeping there soundly. Just what she expected.

He was wearing his regular white shirt with grey yoga pants. With legs hanging off the couch, his sleeping face was faced upward, and his snores could be heard from the entrance of the big room. “Yousseff wakeup,” she said a bit loudly. She walked toward him and tried calling his name a few more times, but as anticipated, got no response. The situation was already very frustrating for the old woman and now Yousseff’s attitude was disturbing her a lot. She walked up to him and shook his arms to get a response out of him.

“Yes! Yes! Yes! I am up. What do you need, Mom?” He said frustratingly while rubbing his eyes roughly. Seeing his mother was always his part of the day but at that moment, he was too tired to care about anything. He had another dream about Jessabelle, and he couldn’t help but wonder what she would be up to. He couldn’t sleep the previous night, and this was the fourth night this month. He knew she got married again but he had no idea about the divorce and the thought of Jessabelle sleeping in another man’s bed was giving him actual creeps. He had somehow fallen for her when he took her to the hospital for the first time. The touch they had in the car still creeped him out sometimes. He had felt that electricity rushing through his body several times in the past year. Even when they became friends, he never got a chance to confess his love for her.

“There is a problem, my son. You have to come with me to the hospital. I don’t know what to do… this girl… she was o-on the r-road...” the old woman was stuttering endlessly when she was interrupted by Yousseff. “Breath, Mom. First, take a deep breath, and then tell me what happened,” he said. “So, I was buying flowers for the orphanage when I saw a car hit a woman. She was very young and had no one by her side so, I took her to the hospital. The doc told me that she had hit her head and there was some damage to her legs as well. They needed to perform immediate surgery and wanted my consent because I pretended to be her guardian. Her name is Jessa…” Her ranting was again interrupted by him.

“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, MOTHER?” he almost screamed. “You could have helped her without pretending to be her guardian. We could have tried to find her original family. We could have helped her financially. But wait, what did you say? What was her name?” It clicked him suddenly.

“Jessabelle Jones,” the woman replied with worry.

“You are kidding me, right?” he said with a hint of a smile on his face.

“Is this the right time to smile, son?”

“Naah Nah. Never mind. We should rush to the hospital and provide them with everything that they need. We don’t want to delay as her condition is already very critical,” he said and rushed to get his keys. The woman was quite shocked by her son’s reaction. One minute he was not half awake, almost screaming at her and the other minute he was out of his couch and ready to leave for the hospital. Something was definitely up with her.

Meanwhile, Yousseff was counting each second to meet Jessabelle. For a few seconds, he forgot that she was in great pain and agony and all he was hoping was to see her once again. He was continuously hoping for her to be her Jessabelle and not someone else. ‘Well, that would be a great disappointment,’ he thought to himself. He quickly changed into his dark-fitted jeans and an ice-blue polo shirt. He wanted to look as good as possible for her. After quickly giving his hair a rough touch, he put on some cologne and was ready to leave. He met his mother, Mrs. Edinburgh, who was already waiting for her in the car. The ride to the hospital was quite small and none of them bothered talking to each other. Mrs. Edinburgh was worried about the young woman and Yousseff could only think about meeting her one more time.

The last time he saw her was before that stupid fucker proposed to her for that stupid contract marriage. Everything was going smoothly between them. He was planning to ask her out when all of a sudden, he received the news of her wedding to that famous billionaire. It broke his heart into a million pieces and to maintain his mental peace, he maintained a safe distance from Jessabelle. But now he was finally going to see her, and it was the first time when he prayed so hard to God for her to be the Jessabelle he was in love with. These thoughts consumed his brain during the entire way to the hospital. Before he knew it, they were already there. He rushed out of the car and ran toward the emergency room without even waiting for his mother. Mrs. Edinburgh was not getting his reactions and wanted answers to the unlimited questions running through her mind. She wanted to know if her son already knew her or if they were in any way associated. But she pushed her thoughts away and focused on the young woman that was fighting for her life in the theatre down the hall. As they both reached the end of the hall, where the operation theatre and finance department were situated, they ran into the doctor who was supposed to perform Jessabelle’s surgery.

“Doc! Is everything okay? Is she hurt? Can I please see her? Is there any sort of lethal damage to her body? What has happened to her?” Yousseff bombarded the doctor with his questions, and this got Mrs. Edinburgh into serious concern as she had never seen her son worrying about anything like this. Now, more than ever, she wanted to know if her son was tied to that woman. “Relax, sir! Her situation is under control for now, but we need to perform the surgery as soon as possible to avoid any lethal damage to her or her body. May I ask how are you related to her? We need a consent form to be signed by a guardian. Are you, her guardian?” the doctor asked.

“Ummm… I am…” he blurted.

“He is my son, and I am her guardian,” Mrs. Edinburgh interrupted before he could say another word. Yousseff let go of the breath he had been holding for long. He had a lot of explanation to do, he knew that. His mother wouldn’t let go of him until he answered all her questions and that was why he couldn’t answer the doctor. He, himself, didn’t know what he was to Jessabelle. A friend? A lover? A potential husband? He had no idea who he was to her but to him, she was his everything. Since the moment he landed his eyes on her, he didn’t give any other woman a single glance. Everywhere his eyes ever went, he saw Jessabelle. She was controlling his heart and mind like a supernatural force. “Mom, I think it’s better if you complete those forms, if we make delays and wait for her relatives to come, then she may lose her life. It is okay, I will be standing beside you through every step. Let’s make out with it,” he said to Mrs. Edinburgh.

“Okay, doctor, tell me where should I sign?” The doctor gave her the forms and showed her where to sign them. “We will be starting the operation now, please wait here.” All the nurses and compounders took her to the operating theatre. Both Yousseff and his mother were told to wait outside. “Manna, I don’t know why am I feeling like this is familiar. I just met her a few hours ago but I feel like I have known her for eternity. Never have I ever felt like this toward somebody before. I have met so many women but she is something different,” Mrs. Edinburgh sighed with sorrow.

“Only if you know mum. Only if you know…” he thought to himself. “Because of the motherly feeling,” he replied.

“Yeah maybe.”

After six hours of operation, Jessabelle was shifted to a separate ward. The doctor called them inside his cabin for some discussion. He told them that both of her legs and head had been plastered. “She is fine now. But there is a problem,” he continued, “Due to heavy injury on her head, the patient is suffering from Amnesia. I don’t think she remembered anything. The patient needs to be given special care once she is discharged after five to six days.”

Yousseff thought he couldn’t breathe for a few seconds. He felt his world crumbling apart. That was the worst thing that could ever happen to him, the love of his life forgetting everything about him. All the times he wanted to propose to her came rushing back into his mind. How would he reach her again? How would he make her fall for him? How would he befriend her? All these thoughts were running through his mind when they were signaled by the doctors to move toward the ICU. Both Yousseff and Mrs. Edinburgh went inside to meet her. Heavy machines and wires were connected to her hands, bandages around her head, she was breathing through an oxygen mask. Her skin was pale white, and dark circles were around her eyes. They both felt bad for her. Yousseff almost wanted to kneel there and cry. Just for the sake of his mother, he stopped himself. “I pity her, she looks so innocent,” Mrs. Edinburgh sighed.

Yousseff just stayed silent and studied every inch of her face, it was killing him to see her like this. Always so vibrant and joyful Jessabelle was now lying lifeless on the bed with IVs surrounding her from everywhere. Soon, they paid her hospital bill and went back to their house, the orphanage. After three days, Jessabelle got back consciousness, during these days both, Yousseff and Mrs. Edinburgh visited her regularly. At first, she was broken and a little uncomfortable with them but slowly she made it. Mrs. Edinburgh treated her as her child and took good care of her. They asked her if she remembered something about herself but in vain, she didn’t remember anything except her name.

Yousseff was breaking down bit by bit every day. The fact that he was seeing Jessabelle daily, she was so close yet so far from him, was hurting him from the inside. He wanted to scream in the air and confess his love, but her medical condition didn’t allow him to. Soon, she was remembering things slowly. She remembered her mother, brother, and her first husband. She remembered the fact that Yousseff saved her when passed out in front of her ex-husband’s house. But what she couldn’t remember was the fact she became great friends with him and even had a little soft spot for him in her heart. She didn’t remember that she got herself into a contract marriage that ended pretty badly. She didn’t remember the time when she got hit by a car and lost her walking skills and memories.

After six months of staying with Mrs. Edinburgh, Jessabelle’s condition improved and she started walking on her legs again. She started showing responses to others and also started to live her life again. But when she got her full memory back, she was hit by deep depression. She spent all the nights crying and also tried suicide several times but due to Yousseff’s constant care and affection toward her, she was unable to do it. She always wrote her painful story in her diary during the night and kept it away from all the people. Yousseff tried to know the reason behind it but Jessabelle never let anybody know about her. There was not a single day she didn’t cry. Giving fake smiles became her hobby and Yousseff could see that she was losing herself.

Youssef came to know that Jessabelle was in constant contact with her mother and brother, and she was just living with Mrs. Edinburgh to stay away from the clouds of depression surrounding her all the time. With hundreds of children living under the same roof, the orphanage was a perfect escape for her. The thought that she might leave someday saddened Yousseff. Although she remembered everything about Yousseff, there were no feelings left in her after everything that had happened in the past few months.

It was Tuesday and she had another session with the psychiatrist that day. Yousseff was supposed to go with her, but an urgent office meeting kept him from doing so. Jessabelle dressed up after a very long time. She wanted to feel her old self, so she decided to wear a purple pencil skirt with her favorite spaghetti strap top that Mrs. Edinburgh gifted her on her birthday last month. She also put on some extra makeup that day to feel a little better about herself. She knew she was the only one who could help herself out of the depressive state she was in, and it was high time now. With the perfect winged eyeliner and dark maroon lipstick, she was all set to rock her therapy session. Instead of taking the bus, like usual, she decided to book a cab today, just to feel a little more special. Soon, one of the kids informed her that the cab was waiting outside, so she ran to Mrs. Edinburgh, kissed her cheeks, and bid all of them goodbye. Somehow, the old woman didn’t feel anything right about that bidding farewell, it seemed like a long goodbye rather than the short ones she usually gave. She pushed that feeling away and prayed for her wellness and safety.

Something was different about today; Jessabelle could feel it in her bones. She was happier than usual, the smile on her face was never fading away, and most of all, she was in love with how she was looking. She called her brother, Joey, on the way to meet him at the coffee shop near her doctor’s clinic. She was already halfway there, and she couldn’t wait to meet him and hug all her sorrows away. Soon, she was at the coffee shop. She entered in there and chose the perfect spot for her sibling-bonding day. It was a small table with two chairs situated perfectly near the window. The beautiful scenery of trees and roads with minimal cars could be seen right from their seat. It was indeed a beautiful day. The cold weather and the winter heat were making everything perfect. Jessabelle was giggling from inside. She missed Joey, she missed hugging him, she missed dumping all her secrets on him, and she missed his bubbly smile.

Within a few minutes, a man with short blonde hair and bright blue eyes entered the coffee shop. His voice could be heard from afar and without even looking Jessabelle could tell it was Joey. They both ran toward each other and hugged each other. Both had happy tears and neither of them was ready to let go. A lot had happened in the past few months, and nothing was better than the support she got from her family during the hard times. After being seated, they started talking. Both of them told each other every single detail about the things that had happened during the past few months. Jessabelle told Joey everything about her second divorce, the accident, the amnesia, Yousseff, Mrs. Edinburgh, and her orphanage. Joey couldn’t believe the strength of his sister. He was feeling proud of the strong woman she had become. Without even realizing it, they had spent two hours talking and catching up with each other and it was now time for her appointment.

The dusky light from the ajar curtain was glimpsing inside the room, if not for it illuminating the room that was drowned in darkness, it would have been improbable to outline her body curled on the floor. Her slovenly hair scattered around her, hiding her face that was buried in the knees attached to her chest and arms wrapped around it. Her fairly audible sobs, which she was trying to control but hardly could, were resonating throughout the quiet room. She was breathing hard, tears uncontrollably running down her eyes, when she couldn’t seem to repress her sobs despite trying to stuff them inside her, they burst into wailing and then into screams. But there was no one to hear them, no one to realize the pain she was trying to lessen through them.

Even her screams weren’t helping in what she was feeling, she could barely move her body but still dragged it toward the mirror resting in the corner. Though she couldn’t see her reflection, she still closed her eyes not wanting to face herself, she used the last strength she had. The slap to remind herself what she was here for, and it did. Slowly she opened her eyes, but the only thing she could discern through her blurry vision was her brown eyes gleaming in tears.

“Where… how… Why me…”

She whispered; her voice trembled the same as her weak body, but she still somehow struggled to keep standing. She was having another panic attack. Despite thinking that everything was going smoothly for once, she was losing it all again. She couldn’t control her emotions and all of them were spilling out at once. She felt like she was failing again and was unable to control her heart or mind when she felt a little pressure on her shoulders. She quickly turned back to see who it was as she didn’t remember anyone coming along with her in this room. She remembered coming out of the therapist’s office and attending a party at Joey’s place. She also remembered getting drunk and losing her mental peace all at once, but she never invited anyone with her into this room. She was sure of that. She abruptly turned around and was ready to slap the stranger when she was surprised by a familiar face.

“Samuel… Samuel Veran?” She asked confusingly. He was Jessabelle’s first crush when she barely even knew the meaning of the word crush. They attended high school together, but Jessabelle almost forgot about him over the years.

“Jessie?” he replied and continued, “I heard your cries from across the room. Are you okay?”

He came like an angel to her. Before thinking about it for another second, she hugged him like her life was dependent on the hug.