Crossing Paths

chapter 9

Jessabelle woke up with the sound of a hissing and the smell of eggs popping. She knew it was Abdullah in the kitchen making a delicious breakfast. She lay in her bed with a smile looking at the kitchen door. She couldn’t see him but knowing that he was in there made her smile. Abdullah suddenly popped out of the kitchen holding a serving tray with his professionally made exquisite breakfast.

“Good morning,” Abdullah greeted her with a broad smile on his face, “will Her Majesty like the breakfast in bed, or should I serve it on the table.”

“Her Majesty would prefer to have her delicious breakfast on the dinner table,” Jessabelle chuckled with her reddened face, “Her Majesty would need 10 minutes as she wants to freshen up first.”

“Whatever Her Majesty wishes,” Abdullah replied.

Jessabelle took a quick tour of the washroom and freshened up. She was delighted to share her company with Abdullah. Abdullah was nothing short of a gentleman. He was a charming and responsible guy who made her happy. Her gut feeling told her that. If anything, he would make her the happiest person in the world and provide her the peace that she so much desired.

There is harmony in waiting. Jessabelle slowly realized that good things come to those who wait. Sorrows are important. If there is no sorrow, there is no justification for joy. The joy of victory can only be enjoyed if one experiences the agony of defeat.

“What is being prepared for Her Majesty on this fine morning? Would the beautiful chef care to assure Her Majesty that her food isn’t poisoned?” Jessabelle gushed as she rushed out of the washroom and got close to Abdullah.

Abdullah smiled and kissed her on the lips, and said, “My Majesty, today I have prepared fried eggs with slices of naan and hot tea. The beautiful chef is still learning. If you would be so kind as to bear with me and enjoy this simple breakfast, I made for you. Although, I promise Her Majesty that shortly, I will hone my cooking skills and present you with the most delicate and tasteful food.”

“You’re forgiven,” Jessabelle giggled.

The two enjoyed the delicious breakfast that Abdullah, with perseverance and amateurishly made. In the moment of their joy, Abdullah felt the need to address his life. He felt a deep sense of guilt that he was leading her on with a false life. His dark and twisted life, he feared, would make her life miserable and full of pain. Something that he couldn’t do to her. Yet, Abdullah didn’t want to lose her and scare her away. Abdullah felt that telling her about his life would scare her away.

“What’s the matter?” Jessabelle asked as she noticed that Abdullah was zoning out. “Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about work,” he said, running away once again from his responsibility.

Jessabelle realized something was off about him. He was cheerful moments ago, and within seconds his face looked down. He was thinking about something that made him hopeless. The smile that was so resilient suddenly disappeared.

“Tell me,” she said. “Oh, I don’t wanna bore Her Majesty with my work,” Abdullah scoffed pretentiously. “Tell me,” she said again, but this time more seriously.

Abdullah paused for a second assessing how to get out of this situation. The conflict within him rose even further but with every passing second, he realized that there was no escape from this. Sooner or later he will have to face facts and her response to his truth would be the same today as it will be tomorrow or it may be that she will be more hurt if she found out later. Causing her harm was something that he was trying his best to avoid.

“Umm, listen,” Abdullah spoke hesitantly, “ I wanted to tell you something. I’ve been fighting with myself for a while now about this, but I guess there is no escape from the harsh reality. There comes the point where a man needs to face some solid facts. I wanted to tell you about myself, about how different I am than others….”

“You’re not an alien, right?” Jessabelle said humorously to cheer him up as she noticed he was troubled. “Ha, no, although I wish,” Abdullah scoffed, smiling.

“Anyway, I am more than a guy who makes shipments. I still make shipments, but it’s not what the government approves of,” he said dubiously, “I ship illegal narcotics. Illegal substances.”

“You mean drugs?” Jessabelle asked to which Abdullah nodded.

“Are you crazy? The shipment that you do is its small scale or large scale?”

“Large.”

“Oh, my God! You are insane. That is so dangerous. You can get yourself in a lot of trouble.”

“It is dangerous, but I run things here. I am out of trouble for the most part.”

“Are you part of any mafia?”

“I am the mafia.”

There was a silence, complete utter silence; Jessabelle was shocked as she never expected Abdullah to be a gangster. She did figure that he was an influential man, but to think he ran things in the city, suddenly cutting off the entire city's electricity so I could enjoy the pale moonlight, made sense. There were so many things Jessabelle felt at once. Jessabelle was shocked, worried, scared, surprised, angry, and many more questionable emotions overtook her. She couldn’t process it, and hence there was a silence where she kept thinking about what to say that could justify her emotions.

“Look, I know it is too much to process, and I know that it is hard for you to accept, but it is what it is. What I do is completely unethical, but I have never made any innocent suffer. I do things with dignity, and ever since I met you, I’ve been doing some thinking.”

“Wait, what? Dignity? Not letting the innocent suffer? Do you even hear yourself? There is no dignity in you smuggling drugs to innocent people. You are in the mafia. There is no way I would accept that an innocent is not getting hurt because of your decisions,” she interrupted him and expressed her anger. “I know, but I am changing things. These are some hard facts the ones that suffer from my decisions are those who fully deserve it. I’ve done things that law enforcement should do, but I know how corrupt the system is. There is always a price you have to pay. What I do is wrong, but only because of me, many have had their justice. I proudly admit that there are rapists and murderers I’ve put down. I have provided for those who couldn’t do it for themselves. I always make sure that the drugs that I ship are not used by kids. The drugs I ship go to filthy rich politicians. Yet I know my actions are not justifiable, but that’s how the world works. My father didn’t deserve to die, and my siblings didn’t deserve to sleep on an empty stomach, but it happened, and I’ve changed things. No kid in this city will sleep on an empty stomach on my watch. I care for this city and its people. If behind the shadows I can help them, then that I do,” Abdullah said as he stood up.

He unbuttoned his shirt leaving Jessabelle in shock. “Look at me,” he said as he showed his body full of scars, “this is the price I have to pay for my justice. Every night, the reaper comes and visits me, and I say this to him every time I see him, ‘not today’ I know once I’m gone, all those that sleep at peace will have their peace taken. I am prideful for those who will do something different something better that I for those who will do something different, something better that I always wanted to do. Some poor kid that I fed will change everything. That puts me at ease. I will probably end up dying a miserable death one day, but I will be at peace.”

Jessabelle was speechless to see his body full of bullet wounds and knife cuts. Staring at his war-torn body, she felt empathy for him. It was the moment when she realized that she felt pain for him for his pain. Abdullah had a tragic past. He was doing something to make sure that no one would go through the things he went through. The goodness in Abdullah made Jessabelle fall for him. She wanted to help him heal and become the better man he aspired to be.

“Jess, I want out of this. I want out of this never-ending tragic tale of mine. I’ve given all I can, but I still want to continue. However, I hope that this gangster life is not for me anymore. I want to help without the influence of fear that I’ve put in the hearts of those with strings,” he said as he sat down on the chair, looking down at the ground, hiding his face. “I want to be with you, take care of you. I want you to trust me that I will start a life that is pure and clean. I will make you happy and protect you. That is a promise.”

Jessabelle stood up and walked toward Abdullah. She crouched down and held his hands, “It’s OK; you don’t have to fight anymore. You’ve done so much for others, and it’s only right that you do something for yourself.”

Life is hard for everyone. Everyone is fighting battles, but you cannot fight for long. There comes the point in life where you rest, catch some breath, drink some water, and find yourself. A journey to find your true self is the hardest and cruelest journey ever, but it is the most important one you need to take. Abdullah and Jessabelle both need the journey for themselves. A human, at times, needs to be selfish to grow and run from things that make them miserable.

“Let’s change together, do something for ourselves, live. You said you want to make me happy, and if that’s so, then I will do the same for you,” she spoke, looking into his eyes. Abdullah glared at her with hope and satisfaction. He held her face and kissed her, giving all of himself.

Jessabelle and Abdullah were hopeful of what was to come; the road they both took would be harsh but together, they wished to reach their destination.

Abdullah went about his business later that day in hopes that the long night would be spent in the arms of his Jessabelle. Daydreaming about her, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. All there was left to do for him was slowly slip away from this life that burdened his shoulders with weights he couldn’t carry anymore. He was looking for a way out to put down the weight and never lift again.

“Have you found Yasir yet?” Abdullah asked Hamid.

Hamid was Abdullah’s right hand. Although Abdullah never trusted anyone, Hamid was a boy he found in the slums. Hamid was an orphan but lived a life of drugs. Hamid reminded him of his past, so he decided to clean him. After a year of work, Hamid was finally clean and was living with Abdullah handling his work with him. Hamid was a 26-year-old man who learned everything from and would help those who were in need. Abdullah did everything to keep him out of his dirty business, but he never listened. He made up his mind that this was the life he desired. Abdullah realized that he could handle his business for him and pulled out as he trusted him with his business. He knew he would do a better job. Passing the torch to him would be a good idea.

“Not yet. But don’t worry, we will find him, and I will make sure I put the bullet in his head myself,” he said aggressively.

“Hamid, what did I tell you?” Abdullah asked.

“Bring him to you alive,” he replied obediently.

“Exactly,” he said as he held his head, “I want to tell you something, it’s important.”

“What is it, Boss?” he questioned curiously.

“I’m looking for a way out, Hamid.”

“A way out? A way out of what?”

“This life. I can’t anymore,” Abdullah revealed.

“I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

“I’m leaving this gangster life. I play this game of gambling I do every day. Risking my life, dying every day. It’s over, Hamid, I’m walking out. Truth be told, I never wanted in. The reason I am here is that I wanted revenge for my father. Once I had what I wanted, I bore another responsibility that wasn’t mine to take, but I did it anyway. It’s been so long that I don’t even remember when I started, but this is it; I did my part, and I’m leaving. I’ll soon figure something out…”

“Now, wait a minute, you can’t be serious,” Hamid interrupted, “you can’t just walk away. We are doing a good thing here. We help others look around and think of how many lives you’ve saved, how many lives you’ve made better, including mine; you can’t just walk away.”

“I’m not here to argue, kiddo. I’ve made up my mind, and I am not changing it back. I am handing it all over to you, this empire of hate I’ve built. I wanted you to leave too, but it seems that I can’t change your mind. I trust you with my life. If there is anyone whom I can trust blindly that will do the things that I want to, it’s you. But I want assurance from you that you can do it. I wanted you to tell me confidently that you will take charge of all this.”

Hamid paused for a second to think he realized the importance of the matter. He knew the seriousness of Abdullah’s offer. It was something he could not take lightly, and after a moment, he said with confidence, “Yeah, I can do it. But how do you plan to retire? You know people won’t leave you alone. You will put your life in more danger.”

“Yeah, I know I’m thinking of faking my death. You know everything about the business, and everyone will trust you once I’m gone. I’ll let you know in full about the plan. But it’ll be soon. You need to be prepared.”

“I will be,” he assured. Abdullah hugged Hamid tight like a father.

“But first, do everything to find Yasir. I can’t leave unless I take care of that ungrateful bastard,” Abdullah said as he left.

As Abdullah went around the corner where his car was, he felt a weird sensation as if something was off. There was silence, and his bodyguards weren’t present. He called out his bodyguard but was answered with silence. He slowly and attentively walked toward his car. As he looked at the back of the car, he saw the two of his bodyguards piled up on each other, dead. Both of them were shot with what he assumed was a gun with a silencer. He checked their waist, but both of them were missing their guns. Worried, Abdullah called out to Hamid, but there was no answer. Suddenly he heard gunshots from where he had left Hamid. He ran to him, still calling out his name. As he approached, he saw in the corner a wounded man crawling toward him, it was Hamid. Hamid was shot in his abdomen and was bleeding profusely. He ran and carried him to the corner where there was shelter.

“H-he is here,” he said with a low voice, “kill….him.”

“Don’t talk you’ve bled enough. He held him in his arms, trying to suppress the bleeding with the blazer he was wearing. Hamid was shot multiple times. Abdullah knew that he wasn’t making out alive, but he didn’t want to believe that.

“I’m sorry, Boss. I don’t think I can run your empire.” Hamid spoke his last words with a teardrop falling from his eye.

Abdullah shut his eye and took the gun he was carrying. There was rage inside of him with the few bullets left; he stood and screamed, “YASIR! WHERE ARE YOU!”

“Stop being a coward and come out. He was inside a warehouse. It was quiet and dark. Abdullah couldn’t see enough. A gunshot pierced through his leg. He saw the guy who shot and immediately shot him dead. He felt something from behind and immediately turned and shot another man that was about to shoot Abdullah.

“Seriously, you being an arms dealer, have the worst men. You need to train your men, but what good is that? Their Boss himself is a p***y. Their Boss is a scaredy-cat who pretends to be a lion,” Abdullah laughed as he mocked Yasir.

Another gunshot was heard, and this one pierced his shoulder in the same place where he had been shot a few days ago. Abdullah looked everywhere but couldn’t locate him. Suddenly he fell but managed to get up although not long after he crouched down. He was bleeding and was in immense pain. The gamble started again. He began betting against his life, only this time, he didn’t have any hope. Abdullah began realizing there was no way out of this rathole. His dreams remained a dream.

A loud bang. This one was aimed at his right arm. The grip on the gun loosened. The gun fell to the ground. It was over for Abdullah. The gamble resulted in his defeat. He gazed at the ground, going through his memory of Jessabelle. Realized that it was all a childish dream, leaving a life that was infused into him. The day he took this path, he knew his fate would be dark and twisted; however, he dreamt of a flowery garden holding the hands of a woman he fell in love with.

Abdullah looked ahead, and there he was, the man who killed his dreams. Yasir walked up to him, aiming his gun at Abdullah. He wasn’t letting his guard down. He knew how dangerous and invincible Abdullah was, and he feared him.

“Look at you, shivering still even though I’m disarmed. I feel embarrassed.”

“Sorry, it’s strictly business,” Yasir said as he held the gun at his head.

“So, you want my empire of dirt?”

“Yeah, I kind of fancy this throne.”

“I don’t think a sheep will ever rule the jungle.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Yasir said the parting word as he began pulling the trigger.

A loud bang sound and a thudding sound of a body falling to the ground. Yasir fell to the ground with a hole in his head. Abdullah smiled as he looked at Hamid. Hamid, with his last ounce of strength, put a bullet in Yasir’s head and gave a final smile before his body turned cold.

The war was finally over. The gambling continued, and Abdullah was the only person breathing in that hellhole warehouse. He looked at his body and realized he was sitting in a pool of his blood. Abdullah knew he had won the bet he had placed on his life. He was going to die, and there was no way out for him.

The reaper was finally here. This time he said nothing. It was long due. He finally accepted his fate, but he still didn’t want to leave. He wanted to hear her voice, the woman he fell in love with. The woman who gave him hope showed him a dream. The cursed fate had its way of taking that dream away, he still was happy that he saw that dream. He, with all his might, took out his phone and called Jessabelle. She didn’t pick up the phone, so he left a message.

“Hey, it’s me again. I wanted to hear your voice one last time before I leave with the reaper. Yeah, my time is up. The reaper is here again. He refuses to leave without me. He says, ‘If I leave without you, God will kick me out of his kingdom and I like my job,’ so I gotta leave. Jess, I am sorry for causing you pain. This life that I so foolishly dreamt of was not for me. I was getting ahead of myself. It’s about time I face some hard facts. Anyway, I will have to accept the fact that my wish to hear your voice one last time will not be fulfilled, and I deserve it. I’ve done things that don’t justify my being happy. It’s quite alright with me. Listen, Jess, leave this place and never return. Go back to your home and live for yourself and for me. Thank you for showing me a dream, giving me the courage to leave, and showing that I can love.”

Abdullah said his final message, and with a smile, he fell into the pool of his blood.