Women And the Demons Who Love Them

Rapscallion-2

Billie Eilish- Six Feet Under

    Beck. I don't call him that anymore and it's something that bothers him. It brings me pleasure to know that it causes him discomfort. Maybe the next time he falls in love it will teach him that we aren't his playthings. Being the king doesn't give him the right to treat us the way he does. He's changed a lot since then but it really doesn't matter to me. My feelings betray me constantly but I'll never give in to them. I can't allow myself to be played by them. Not here, not anywhere. I'm going to things on my own terms from now on.

    "Sage, it's going to be a while before you can get back to work," he says once we're alone.     

"I doubt I'll be going back soon if at all," I say stretching. 

    It's no secret that the king has always treated me differently. Diana always thought I was being childish when I told him where to shove his fake ass apology. He apologized sure but he never stopped screwing around. Power isn't in the title, it's is in the mind of the beholder. In mine, he lost that power a while ago.

    "What do you plan on doing?" he scoffed. "You've worked hard to get where you are," 

    "You're not one to ask stupid questions, my king," his left eye twitches when he gets mad. Kind of like it is now. I always thought that was cute. Now... it's still cute. That's not going to change because he's not mine anymore.

    "Is there anything I can say to make you reconsider?" he sighed. 

    "No, she was a peacemaker. They had no reason to kill her," 

    "She wanted you to follow in her footsteps. She groomed you to take her place when she stepped down," 

    "She didn't step down," I whispered. He heard me. That I'm sure of. He would have heard me say it from the other side of the manor. Always listening. Never paying attention.

    "You have a responsibility now. Remus is too young to be out on his own. You can't just leave him here," 

    "I don't plan to," 

    "She wouldn't want this," 

    "No, she would want to be alive. She would actually be at tonight's rally helping humans who have no homes. Giving them her attention," 

    "Attention she should have been giving you?" 

    "Attention she will be giving no one because she's dead. When was the last time you lost something you really cared about, Beck? Huh? You leveled towns for much less. I'm not talking about burning the city down. I just want to look him in the eyes and make him tell me why he killed her. Why he left my brother and me orphans for the second time in our existence," Keeping my anger in check has never been easy for me. He sat down next to me placing his hand on my arm. 

    I stood up getting away from him. I can't think with him touching me. With him trying to make me feel better. I don't want to feel better right now. I want to know what he plans to do about this. I want to know if he's going to let me do what I want or if I'm going to have to turn my back on him to get what I want.

    "I understand what you're feeling, Sage. You need to calm down and carefully think about what you're going to do. Heading out there in the state of mind you are is an easy way to slip into a frenzy. You will be giving the hunters a reason to hunt you. You know the laws better than most. You helped create them," 

    "When I created the laws, I did it to help us. Not them. I can care less about them. They're food. You asked me to act as an advocate for you and I wrote those laws because it was the right thing to do. 

    "Look at the table with my mother's ashes coating it and tell me what's right about that? You think I don't have a clear mind because I'm in pain? News flash my lord. I was brought into this world through pain and survived in it because of it.

    "The laws don't mean s**t when we're the only ones living by them. I'm tired of rolling over because they're fragile beings. Thirty-seven casualties, Beck. Those are your people in ashes out there. What the hell is wrong with you?" 

    He looked me over before he sat back placing his arm over the backrest of the love seat. His legs spread out, his other hand resting on his lap. He looks and smells like Beck but this man in front of me is a stranger. He has been for some time now.

    "Things are different now," 

    "Different how?" I demanded. He sighed sitting up. 

    "We're forming an alliance with Kaleb. We're uniting Fraye and Crimson by matrimony," I wasn't expecting that and that has nothing to do with me. "I don't have the numbers to cover the coast. I want to give you what you want, Sage. I live to give you what you want but I can't right now. You're looking at starting the Great War round two going into this. Diana was a great loss and she will be avenged just not right now," 

    "When?" I asked sitting down in a chair across from him. 

    "Did you hear what I just told you?" 

    "Yeah, you're getting married to Kryssa Crimson so that she can give us the numbers we need to take control of the hierarchy here," 

    "That doesn't bother you?" he asked trying to be nonchalant about it. I laughed. 

    "Why would something like that bother me?" he smiled which is rare for him. "You're the king, Beck. This is politics. I'm just a girl too smart for her own good. We had something nice until you f****d it up. We both know I'm not going to overlook what you did. One of us was going to have to move forward eventually," 

    "Come sit with me, girl," he only calls me that when he knows I'm right and he hates having to acknowledge it. I pushed off his desk and sat down next to him. "You've always been very difficult," 

"I don't try to be. This is just who I am," I shrugged. He smiled nodding like he didn't want me to stop being who I am. It's one thing I liked about us. 

    I loved everything he is and he loved who I am but it wasn't meant to be we're just too alike. Pretending to be in love would be the ruin of everything we have accomplished. We both know that. I love everything that I am and I'd rather walk into the sunlight than to hand it over to him because of something as foolish as monogamy. 

    "This matrimony isn't something I will get out of. Bloodline marriages are absolute. She will be mine and I will be hers. I will bare her mark and she will bare mine," he pushed my hair off my shoulder caressing the crook of my neck where Diana's bite mark is. 

    "I'm well aware of what it means for you to get married, Beckham. I'm going to be there when you mark her. I'm going to be there when you say your vows. I'm going to be there when she bares your first child. You're my king. That's never going to change," I placed my hand on his cheek leaning into him. I probably won't be. That's already asking for too much, but if I tell him otherwise. He'll do something we're both going to regret. "I'm too good for you anyway. I deserve better," 

    "That you do," he smiled again leaning into the palm of my hand. 

    "My King the coven is ready," Mila interrupted us. She knows she's not supposed to come in here without knocking first. She didn't meet my eyes when she saw the position we were in. I have to thank her for the interruption later.

    "I'll be right out, Mila," he growled angrily. "You're supposed to knock," 

    "Yes, sir," she said excusing herself. 

    "Will you wait?" he asked grabbing my hand when I tried to pull away. 

    "Not patiently," I admitted, looking up into his pale blue eyes. 

    "This is it then?" he asked. I leaned into him placing a kiss on his lips lingering for longer than I should have. I stood up straightening up and nodded. 

    "This is it, my lord," I lowered my head giving him the submission I never have before. The cold look that crossed his eyes let me know he understood. He nodded standing up. I fixed his tie and pulled his coat upright. He smirked when he buttoned up his coat. 

    "I'm going to miss you, Sage," he whispered so that I was the only one who heard it. "How do I look?" 

    He walked around the couch straightening up, his playful smirk reverted back into the coldness of what he's supposed to be. He's glorious. Whoever thought that the world needed something as beautiful as him in it must have definitely been a woman. A goddess with a passion for true art. 

    "Like the King," I answered honestly. He smiled my favorite smile before he took a deep breath impersonating the facade of the man he wants the coven to see. 

    "I'm ready," he called out his voice booming in the height of the room. 

    The doors were opened and he stepped out. I sat back down on the couch. I already know what he's going to tell the coven. I might have been away for a while but nothing has changed. This is still the same place I had left after my training was over. I know it better than I know myself.

    There's more relief in this than I originally thought I would feel. Don't get me wrong, Beck was my first. It was why his betrayal hurt so much. Why I can't take him back. He had spent the last six years trying to make up for it but I'd never be able to trust him. Not again.

    Trust is hard for me to hand out and he had abused it. I forgave him the first two times. After that, I knew I'd start killing his little flings. It was one of the reasons why I left, why she let me go. It would hurt me now if he had told me that he had found someone better, but we both know there will never be anyone better for this than me. Not unless one of us made her that way. 

    I've always put myself higher than I probably should when it came to the women he bedded. Not once did I ever think that one day I would be just that. Once he marries her, I'll just be another conquest. It might not be love between the two of them but there is love there. Love of their people. To protect and serve as a king and queen should. I'd never be able to be that. That's just not a role I want to play.

    My love is a pile of ashes that will never love me back again. It died when she did and if I ever decide to open myself again, it won't be for someone who will treat me as his exclusive playmate. That's for damn sure.