WHATEVER SHE WANTS

My Darling Clementine

Alistair's POV

I managed to sit through to the end of this horrible lecture. I really don't know why I have to do a foreign language; and why it has to be German. BASIC, COBOL - they're languages too; only for the better suited individuals. Just ten minutes to run though. I can wait. Whatever Frau Adelaide was saying went flying straight over my head.

As I walked out the revolving door, I felt a bit relieved. The fresh air brought a little relief to my tension. I had pizza to deliver this afternoon, and I had another project to work on later in the evening. I promised Clementine fifty bucks today, if she could be patient. She had been asking for some money to join her friends on a little vacation; and I understand that she didn't want to feel left out. I wish I could split myself.

I'm actually on a scholarship that's taking care of my tuition, and other school bills; but I was largely responsible for my feeding. I asked Clementine out because I needed a force to push me to do beyond average. And we'll, she has. I never knew I had it in me to work multiple jobs in order to raise spare cash I could stash away for savings. I have to make this pizza run first. I felt a vibration in my pocket that brought me back to the present. I frantically rummaged in my pocket for it and took the call.

“Alistair?"

“Clementine?"

“Is this bad timing?"

“No, not at all", I replied. “I just came out of German, and I have a few deliveries to make. I'll call you once I'm done."

“Where are we meeting?"

“The park. I thought you said you liked it there."

“It's alright. I'll be waiting."

“Love you, bye."

“Bye." Her voice faded as she ended the call.

Clementine had always been sweet. Yes. Until she met this new circle of girlfriends because her only friend ditched her. I've seen her go into a state of frenzy, trying to meet up with their standards. She badly wanted to belong. I did my best to make her feel comfortable in her skin, but she always wanted more. I remember how I'd emptied my life savings to give her 250 bucks, just to revamp her wardrobe. I struggled hard after that and almost starved, but the good thing is that she was grateful and would always send me a lunch bag everyday. That was until the effect wore off.

I checked the time on my lock screen, and found myself dashing towards my dorm. I quickly got out of my shirt and slipped on the company shirt and hat. I took my bike and headed out real quick. I'd get the motorcycle, pizzas and the orders when I get to the kitchen. The bike wasn't as fast as I wanted it to go, but I continued to ride.

Speaking of speed, I remember when I newly began this job. I opted to use my roller blades, and they were it until I got knocked down once. And after that accident, I began to consider other stuff. Things like how heavy those pizza boxes were when I held them all the way. My boss got me a bike, and I think it's very efficient. No gas needed, and when I have to make an impromptu delivery.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Clementine, calm down. I can explain."

She turned with blazing eyes. I think puberty and hormones also have a part to play in situations like this.

“What else do you want to explain, Al? I waited all week for this money, and now, you bring twenty buck, asking me to accept it. It isn't even up to half of what I was expecting!" She pressed the notes to my chest, and I felt it to my soul.

“What were you expecting?"

She scoffed. “Are you being serious right now? I was expecting a hundred bucks."

I felt my face burn with both embarrassment and anger. Did she see me as some sort of money- making machine?

“A hundred?! Clementine! You weren't always like this. You genuinely cared at a point. These demands these days are killing me, you know."

“At least, you're not like before: lazy, broke and wallowing in self pity. Is that a bad thing?"

I stopped. This won't be the exact moment to have my jaw hang down helpless. So that was how she saw me all those days?

“Clementine? Baby, are you really saying this to me?"

Her eyes glazed as she edged closer. “You were trying to be something you weren't. Remember how you told me that you'd be there for me, no matter the weather? I told you everything about me, Al. I thought you'd understand; but…but it seems you don't. It's all clear now.” She paused a bit and looked down at her shoes. "I turned richer guys down, because I thought I had a future with you.”

Of course, you did. You're throwing all that away now because you want to be like the rest of your circle.

“You saw that; I saw it too. But what has changed, Clementine?"

She laughed wistfully.

“I was naive back then, and thought that sticking by your side supportively will help us arrive at our dream. Now, I understand that I don't need to toil that hard to enjoy good things; I just need the person with the right money."

My heart shattered into shards as I steeled myself for what was coming after. “So…?” I asked to catalyse the process.

"It's over, Al”, she cut in sharply and raised her glazed eyes to mine. "It's over between us. We can't both have such hard luck and do well later on in life. I hope you understand.”

I swallowed hard as my throat felt quite parched.

"It's fine, Clementine. I just hope you won't have any regrets.”

She walked off before I could finish.

I turned to walk back to the campus. I spotted a woman with her two kids sitting on the bench by the bus stop. I heard her sing a tune that now caused my heart to wrench so painfully in my chest that I could feel the pain physically. I clutched my chest and walked faster, to get away from the song.

"Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine. You're lost and gone forever, I am sorry, Clementine.”

I couldn't bear it anymore. I stopped my ears and ran as fast as my exhausted body could carry me. I'll never love that deeply; ever again!