MY INNER SCARS

My Pain

Ruth's p.o.v

Is that you papa? I see the bright light, and again the shadow of the light fades away, making the voice a reality.

My Ireti! It‘s my daughter... I want you to survive this. No matter what happens, you have to be strong for us and also for the kingdom of Olem.

Papa, I can't take this anymore, you seem so happy ohm... I miss you so much and the kingdom is falling apart because of Uncle Suh and his son.

There will come a time, my daughter, they won't be there to see the Kingdom of Olem prosper again and when that time comes you will be their true heroine.

" This place dey smells like says some man don shite for ehh clothes," said the beast from a distance. I heard his voice but couldn't move my body.

It won't be long before he gets here. I am so scared that my own family would do this to me. I am so nervous and am almost having a panic attack since I can't predict his next move. Even if I could, what would I be able to do? I can't shout nor can I walk.

Papa, please don't leave me here, papa. Hold my hands. I want you to take me with you. Sorry daughter, where are we going? You won't be able to go with us.

Remember, you must be strong, and we are counting on you. Goodby my Ireti, we will always love you, our daughter. I will always be with you... know that. Most importantly, don’t forget the secret words your mother whispered to you.

It was about 7:30 am. I didn't even notice when I slept off. I remember when I had those dreams about Mami and papa. Are they dreams? Or were they trying to pass on a message to me? Not sure yet.

" Hello, my love...so you di smell so...? chai! abeg cam ma go wash you before we continue our discussion," the beast said in a friendly manner.

So, he held my hands and carried me to one of the old washrooms. The toilet festered in a dehydrated puddle of urine. Under the filth, hair, and smears were white porcelain. The underside of the seat was stained a nasty dark yellow and the stench of sewage filled the windowless room in which it sat, not to say of the toilet bowl itself was alive with pink bacteria. Even at that, I requested to be alone but he refused and asked me if I had other motives such as escaping. How would I be able to run? Even if I wanted to, I am restrained.

Little did I know he had plans figured out already.

My heart was beating so fast as if I was in a mountain race, as he approached me, with those restraints on, he removed my clothes right down to the latter. " We no fit enjoy you when you dirty and smell so," He said.

Then he pulled out a piece of cloth from his pocket and fastened it inside my nostrils. The piece of cloth he pulled from his pocket was an old-smelling rage not to be held by a man. It instantly blocked the air passage from the lungs.

I saw the lights flash before my eyes, and my body gave way like a tree had been cut down.

My whole body was numbed, I couldn't even move my fingers as I did before, and nor could I call for help. I had to be strong, as papa said.

With his powerful gripe, he tore my clothes into shreds, from the top right down to the bottom. He was a beast.

I was so weak. I thought I was in darkness before. Afterward, I knew I was seeing light, but now my vision faded away, and I saw the man who was responsible for my pain, the person who wants to kill me for his gain.

Before blacking out, I heard other voices. He wasn't alone. I thought about five healthy untamed beasts devouring me.

Am I going to die? I questioned myself, as tears and sweat melted down my cheeks.

I heard them throwing dice at who would be the first to torture me. So, have I become a commodity meant for gambling?

I recognized all their faces. They are family friends. Why would they want to do this to me? I wondered.

My body is as if I am drowning in an ocean, and the sharks are ready to devour their prey.

The beast said " We go beat you, one after another. This Nah to let you know how much pain your family don brings to my own family. So, you know me now?" Neba please don't do this.... my voice couldn't be heard, I was conscious but weak.

My body was tortured, my legs covered in blood, as if I was a cow ready to be slaughtered and restrained with ropes, I was crucified on the floor.

One of them said, "I will be the first person to torture you. If you shake, I go slap you, so better stay quiet ma finish this thing so that my other friends go torture you too."

They tortured me, I was bleeding so much. Then came the last person, Neba, my cousin.

He said " You see all these, my friends' noh? Nah them do all these things for you. Now, Nah, ma turn for torture you. After you go die, I go throway your body (corpse) inside that bush. No man no go fit recognize person-way don die"

I played on the floor covered in blood as he lashed me! his cousin. What an abomination, he was the 5th person, the pain I felt I was dead. I could still hear their voices, I was helpless, and the feelings of torture and r**e, and abuse ignited in my subconscious mind.

" Bring that empty bag for deh, we go put yi for inside go throway Yi for that bush," Neba said.

The last thing I saw was the faces of his friends as I passed out.... before passing out, my n*****s were cut… with blood everywhere, the pains were too much for a human to harness. I wasn't a normal human being, I was the king and ruler of the Olem Kingdom.

I felt a sharp cut through my face, as it was done by Neba, my cousin. The line made on my face was so deep and painful that it was like fire from a furnace. I couldn't feel pain and it made me understand what pain was and what health was, but I had neither.

I felt how blood gorged out from my body, it was as if water was kept in plastic and holes were made in it, then you got to see the water and how it made its way from different directions.

I am lifeless. Papa, and Mami, this is what you left me with? with no reason to live nor to fight? papa, you said I should be brave and strong just as you were, but I can't take it anymore.

I saw the light and I also saw the darkness, as my eyes close slowly, I whispered to Neba, " i.t... it...s. ha...ll not b....e w... ell w... with you". as my voice faded away so was my body.