LONENLNES AND GROWTH

Chapter 8: The First Journey

The first light of dawn broke the tranquility of the early morning as the alarm clock’s shrill ring pierced through the air. Si Han Shen opened her eyes and stared blankly at the ceiling for a moment, until her mother’s cold voice came from outside the door: Are you still not getting up? Do you want to be late on your first day?

Si Han Shen took a deep breath and sat up in bed. Today marked the first official day of classes at her vocational high school. Although she had mentally prepared herself, the thought of facing an entire day in an unfamiliar environment still stirred some unease within her. After freshening up, she hurriedly grabbed her bag, left her home, and walked towards school, embracing the cool morning breeze of early autumn.

The campus in the morning seemed brand new, with sunlight spilling over the red brick walls and the air filled with the scent of fresh grass. Si Han Shen walked along the main road towards the teaching building, her steps slightly hesitant. When she entered the classroom, most of her classmates had already arrived—some were gathered in groups chatting, while others were reading quietly. Si Han Shen silently made her way to her seat, trying her best not to draw attention.

The first class bell rang, and Teacher Lin entered the classroom on time, carrying a stack of new textbooks. Standing at the podium, she smiled as she looked around: Classmates, today is our first official day of class. I hope we can start by developing good study habits. Three years have passed quickly, and I hope we can work hard together and leave no regrets.

Teacher Lin’s tone was gentle yet firm. Listening to her Si Han Shen felt a complex mix of emotions—both longing and heaviness. She knew she had to seize this opportunity. As Teacher Lin began distributing the books, when one reached Si Han Shen, she murmured a “thank you” and was surprised to see the teacher nodding with a smile, a moment of kindness that left her momentarily dazed.

The first morning class was English. Teacher Lin stood at the podium, opened the textbook, and began explaining the first lesson. Si Han Shen quickly realized that high school classes were very different from those in junior high. Instead of mechanical explanations, the teacher guided the students to think and ask questions. The classroom gradually filled with the sound of interaction, some students actively raising their hands to speak, others writing furiously, while Si Han Shen quietly jotted down every key point in her notebook.

Si Han Shen, please answer this question, Teacher Lin suddenly called on her. She tensed up, slowly stood up, kept her head down, and answered in a soft voice that was nearly drowned out by the classroom noise.

“Very good,” Teacher Lin nodded and continued the lesson.

After sitting down, Si Han Shen felt a few pairs of eyes from the class sweep over her. Her face warmed slightly, but she also breathed a sigh of relief, glad she hadn’t answered incorrectly.

After the first class ended, students gathered in small groups to chat, while Si Han Shen continued to organize her notes. Until a voice came from beside her: Si Han Shen, were you nervous when the teacher called on you just now? She looked up; it was Jia Zhou, the girl who had initiated the conversation with her on the day of registration.

Umm a bit, Si Han Shen replied softly.

Don’t be nervous, we’ll have to answer a lot more questions in the future, Jia Zhou said, looking at Si Han Shen.

Si Han Shen nodded and forced a smile. She actually envied Jia Zhu’s outgoing nature, always able to chat easily with others, while she herself never knew what to say.

The second class was math, taught by a middle-aged man with glasses, whose lecture style was rigorous and detailed. He had just written a few formulas on the blackboard when he began explaining their derivation. Si Han Shen bent her head to copy the notes but noticed that the surrounding students were already flipping through example problems.

“Everyone seems so good…” she thought silently, her pen pausing slightly. She recalled her failing grades in math during junior high, and an inexplicable pressure rose in her heart.

When the bell rang at the end of class, the math teacher announced,Starting next class, we’ll do some basic exercises. Make sure to review your textbooks at home.

Si Han Shen looked up to see her classmates discussing problems with their textbooks, as if everyone was more confident and at ease than her. She felt as if she was isolated from the rest.

At noon, the classroom became lively as school let out. Si Han Shen had intended to eat alone but found Jia Zhou enthusiastically approaching her: Si Han Shen, let’s eat together?

Ah, okay… Si Han Shen hesitated for a moment, then nodded and followed Jia Zhou out of the classroom.

She had assumed there would be a school cafeteria, only to discover that lunch had to be found outside the school gates. The school entrance was bustling with students streaming out, as lively as a temporary marketplace.

There are so many people here! Jia Zhou looked around. “Do you know any good places to eat nearby?”

Si Han Shen shook her head: It’s my first time here too. There should be quite a few small restaurants.

“Let’s just look around, maybe we’ll find some surprises,” Jia Zhou said with a smile, calling over two other girls.

The four walked and chatted. On the way, Jia Zhou asked, Did you guys find the math teacher’s pace too fast this morning? I couldn’t keep up.

It was a bit difficult. It’s only the first class, and it was so fast, I didn’t understand, another girl agreed, then sighed, wondering if it would get even harder later.

Si Han Shen didn’t speak, just listened quietly, occasionally responding with a word or two. She wasn’t good at participating in such casual conversations, but that didn’t prevent her from enjoying the moment. Walking among the crowd, she rarely felt like she wasn’t being excluded.

After walking down two streets, they finally found a small, unremarkable restaurant. The sign outside read “Home Cooking,” and the tables and chairs inside were somewhat disorderly, but the air was filled with an enticing aroma.

This place looks pretty good! Jia Zhou was the first to push the door open and go in. “Hurry up, let’s find a place to sit.”

Si Han Shen followed, watching the others discuss the menu lively, feeling the unfamiliarity and long-lost warmth of it all.

After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant. Jia Zhou patted her stomach and said, This place is

, we can come again next time!

Another girl suggested, It’s still early, how about we take a walk around? We have a one and a half hour lunch break, and there’s nothing to do back at school.

Sounds good! Jia Zhou nodded first, then looked at Si Han Shen. Do you want to go for a stroll with us?

Si Han Shen was taken aback, originally wanting to rest in the classroom, but seeing everyone’s enthusiastic expressions, she hesitated for a moment and finally nodded: “Yeah, sure.”

The group walked along the street casually, occasionally stopping to look at the signs of shops on the side of the road. Someone stopped at a stationery store to pick out a few pens. Others saw a small supermarket and went in to buy some drinks and snacks. Jia Zhou, carrying her newly bought items, asked with a smile, “Did you guys eat this when you were little?” She pointed to a bag of snacks in her hand, “I loved this when I was a kid!”

“I liked it too!” Another girl excitedly agreed.

Si Han Shen stood by, holding a bottle of water she had just bought, quietly listening to their conversation. The corners of her mouth slightly lifted; although she didn’t join the discussion, she felt relaxed and at ease inside.

The street was not wide, with small shops scattered on both sides, some selling daily necessities, some stationery, and a little selling small accessories. Jia Zhou spotted a shop filled with colorful hair clips and immediately excitedly pulled everyone over: “Come on, let’s see if there are any nice hair ties!”

Si Han Shen was pulled in by her and stood in front of a shelf filled with hair accessories, listening to their discussion on which one looked better. Jia Zhou picked several and finally asked Si Han Shen, which one do you think suits me better?

Si Han Shen looked carefully and pointed to a small purple hair clip: “This one… it suits you well.”

“Really?” Jia Zhou laughed happily, “Then I’ll take this one!”

They casually visited a few more shops, bought some small items, and when they returned to the school gate, there were still twenty minutes left before class. Jia Zhou looked at the time and said with a smile, It’s great to have a one and a half hour lunch break. If only we could stroll like this every afternoon.

Si Han Shen smiled faintly, and to her surprise, she also looked forward to having more of these lunch breaks.

The lunch break quickly passed, and the two afternoon classes arrived as scheduled. One was a class meeting, and the other was an explanation of the school’s rules and regulations. The homeroom teacher, Teacher Lin, announced the basic arrangements for the class during the meeting and also expressed her expectations for everyone: “We hope that this class can be united and caring, that we help each other and make progress together.”

Hearing these words, Si Han Shen’s heart did not stir much. She had known since junior high that unity and friendship often only existed on the surface, and that genuine relationships required time to observe and build.

She didn’t know if this seemingly fresh environment really held the change she was looking for, but she knew that she had to adapt to it, as it was her only option.

Overall, the day was quite good for her. After all, it was her first day of vocational high school, a new environment and a fresh start. Although she still felt uneasy and apprehensive, she found that things were not as bad as she had imagined. At least she was no longer alone; at least someone would take the initiative to have meals and chat with her.

After school, Si Han Shen followed the crowd out of the school gate. The evening breeze gently brushed her face as she looked up at the darkening sky, feeling a bit complicated. Perhaps high school life would indeed change, and perhaps this place would make her life different. But she also knew that this was just the beginning, and the road ahead was still long. She still needed to adapt hard and even face more unknown challenges.

With this complicated mood, she walked into the night and set off on her way home.