Donna

16

THREE YEARS LATER

2022

CRAZY. INSANE. THAT'S HOW I WOULD DESCRIBE myself. I can hardly function correctly, and my mind has latched on to the person that's going to kill me and I'm waiting.

Fuck, I'm waiting. Been waiting.

Four years. Waiting.

I stay in self prescribed solitary, much safer that way. Yuri is acting Pahkan, but I still over see most things. Just not violent things.

I'm a bloodthirsty motherfucker, more so than I've ever been.

I'm in the gym, punching the speed bag getting into a rhythm, when I'm knocked over.

She's here. I feel her I smell her. I know her. She's here. I look up and she's gone.

But she was here.

Here to play more games.

Cat and mouse.

I seek, she hides.

Further driving me into madness. Planting doubt in my mind. The only reason I haven't killed myself, is because if she's alive, she's going to do it.

She deserves that. She earned that, and I want to give it to her. My life. It's not healthy. It's not good, but if she's alive I need her. She is mine, not matter where she is, she's mine.

When I come out of my thoughts, I've punched the bag off the chain, and am aggressively punching the air.

Then time halts. She's back. She's behind me. Five years I have imagined her, but I'm not imagining her now.

She's right behind me, and a third of me wants to try and kill her and do it right. Another third hopes she plunges a knife in my back, and gets it over with.

Another third wants to touch her, and hug, and kiss her. I want her to hold me.

I'm f****d up person.

I just wait, head down, and I feel her hand resting on my back.

“Still so aggressive, caro.”

My breathing hitches. She's not cold. That makes me very happy. I yearn for her touch, but I won't tell her that.

I need her, need her acceptance and forgiveness. Anything, I'll do anything if she'll like me again. Anything.

I won't tell her that. I will, however, pretend she doesn't know it anyway.

“Did you miss me?” So close.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean—”

“You meant it. You just regret it now.”

She's right. She knows.

“I regretted it the second I stepped away from you—”

“You kept stepping. That's what matters.”

She's right.

“A life for a life. Why don't you just take mine,” Why won't she look at me?

“I'm doing it; taking your life.”

“I'm breathing, aren't I?”

“I said life, not breath.”

Everything is quiet then, I'm so f****d up, I don't know anything.

“I'm not going to kill you.”

“I'll do it for you.”

“No,” She hates me. I need her. I hate her. “You won't. No one will. Turn around.”

I oblige, I've been dying to see her.

There she stands, her hair is longer, her eyes darker, angrier.

“Look,” She lifts her shirt.

Fucking hell.

“I died, Vitya. I was dead for an hour. A whole hour. You know what they told me when I woke up, looking for you?”

I shake my head. No words.

“They said whoever betrayed you, gave you the will to live. I was so intent on killing, I simply couldn't die before I did.”

She comes closer to me, puts her hands on my chest, tracing the scars.

Only they are on her body not mine.

“I crawled out of the grave to kill you, Vitya. I told Death, f**k no he goes first. You should've been like Death, Vitya.”

Her nails dig into my skin, her eyes too, full of flaming hate.

“You should've known that I am not sane. But I am smart, and I'll let my insanity leak into your reality and I will make your life a living hell.”

“I'm going go, I'll be back. While I'm gone, I want you to think about something. You left me to die.

A woman who can haunt Death; he's actual a nice guy I met him. You think I'm crazy, but I'm here, so really, what's the explanation?”

“If Death doesn't want to f**k with me, what do you think is going to happen to you?”

And then she's gone. Disappearing type s**t. Like magic type s**t. I'd think I was imagining if it weren't for the man leaning against the wall.

If it wasn't for scream.

See, he has wings, black ones, Sythe. All black. He nods at me, looking sorry for me.

“She's right y'know. She came and literally, stampeded hell.” He shakes his head looking horrified. “I think she's better here with you.”

“I can't do my job with two psychotic women. You keep yours. Kay?”

He holds out his hand, and I shake it, because why the f**k not?

“Thanatos, AKA Death. I don't have much time right now, but I'll be seeing you soon. Toodles!”

Then he takes his Sythe and rips a hole in the universe. While he's doing that, one of my enforcers screams like a b***h.

“I'll be taking his memories.”

Then he left.

I couldn't figure what happened. What was really what wasn't. But I know this:

My life was over. 

And so was my afterlife.