It was well past midnight when I heard the soft click of our room’s door closing. My roommates were finally asleep, tangled in their blankets and their own dreams, the air heavy with the scent of shampoo and sunburn.
I lay still in the dark, screen dimmed low, Discord open.
Evren is online.
That stupid green circle again. Always pulling me in.
My fingers hovered. Waiting. Wanting.
Then—
Evren: You okay?
Two words. So normal. So plain.
But my heart still skipped like a guilty thing in my chest.
I let it sit for a minute. Two. Not because I didn’t know what to say. But because I wanted him to wait for it. To sit there in the dark and wonder what I was thinking.
Me: Why wouldn’t I be? 👀
He replied fast this time. That alone made my pulse tick faster.
Evren: Idk
Evren: the game earlier
Evren: just caught me off guard I guess
I smirked in the dark. The glow of the screen lit up my lips, curled into something just a little cruel.
Caught him off guard. Good.
Me: sorry :(
Me: was just playing along
Me: you don’t mind, right?
I already knew he didn’t. If he did, he would’ve pulled away.
But he didn’t.
He let me touch his face. Let me kiss him. Let me choose him.
He stayed standing longer than he should have. That silence wasn’t confusion.
It was hesitation.
Evren: nah it’s fine
Evren: just wasn’t expecting it
Me: you didn’t have to go along with it if you didn’t want to
Me: but you did :)
He didn’t respond right away. I stared at the word “delivered” beneath my last message and imagined him in bed. Eyes half-lidded from exhaustion. Phone held above his head. His thumb hesitating.
My mind painted him in pieces.
Blanket slipping low on his waist.
Shirt twisted. Maybe off.
One arm curled behind his head.
Mouth parted slightly.
I imagined crawling into that space with him. Replacing the phone with my mouth on his collarbone. Tasting the sweat behind his ear.
Making him say something—anything—just to hear what his voice would sound like when it cracked.
Evren: you’re kinda bold huh
There it was.
The c***k.
I smiled so wide it hurt.
Me: only when it’s worth it 😉
He didn’t reply after that.
But he read it.
At 2:14 AM.
And I knew that meant something.
Because if it didn’t?
He still wouldn't be thinking about it.
Wouldn’t still be online.
Wouldn’t have messaged me first.
He doesn’t know it yet—but he’s slipping.
One kiss.
One message.
One moment at a time.
And when he falls?
It’ll be hard.