Chapter 1: No idea

507 Words
It started with a single word. Hi. I sent it through Messenger and sat back like I hadn’t just thrown my soul off a cliff. The screen glowed with quiet anticipation, and I watched—watched like a maniac—for him to reply. A minute passed. Then ten. Then forty. It took him a full hour to respond. One hour. Sixty excruciating, pulse-counting minutes. By the time the reply came, my phone was nearly glued to my hand. Evren: Hey Just that. Plain. Simple. Perfectly him. I should’ve felt annoyed by the wait, but instead I felt… warmer. Like his delay made him more real. He wasn’t desperate. He didn’t jump to attention. He lived in his own world—quiet, slow-moving, self-contained. I wanted to infect that world. Crawl inside it like smoke. So I asked the question, pretending to be casual. Me: Are you more active anywhere else? Evren: I’m usually on Discord. My fingers tingled. The second I read that, I downloaded the app. Made an account with shaking hands. Found his tag. Sent the request. No hesitation. I wasn’t subtle. I didn’t care to be. He accepted within minutes. And then—he messaged me first. Evren: Hey My heart snapped like a camera shutter. Just one word again. Just hey. But this time it felt different. Closer. Like I’d slipped through some quiet door he didn’t know he’d left open. Me: Hey! Guess I found where you’re hiding *smirk* We started talking. Well—I talked. He responded. Short sentences. Bare punctuation. But he didn’t leave. That was enough to feed me. He didn’t know what he was doing. Didn’t know what he’d started. As I typed sweet little nothings, I was already imagining everything. His fingers, rough and shy, brushing against my waist. His hoodie slipping off, revealing skin I’ve only undressed in my mind a hundred different ways. His lips—God, his lips—pressing down in slow, curious kisses like he was trying to figure me out piece by piece. I wonder if he hugs tightly. I wonder if he clutches people when he’s overwhelmed. I wonder if he’d bury his face in my shoulder like he’s been tired his whole life. I want to be the place he collapses. The skin he memorizes. The sound he thinks about when the world gets too quiet. But to him, I was just that girl in class. The one who smiled sometimes. Who never sat too close. Who said hi. He didn’t know I was studying him like scripture. Didn’t know I had a whole folder of fantasies filed under Evren, alone with me. Didn’t know this Discord conversation was the start of something that would swallow me whole. He kept replying—little things. What he liked. What he listened to. What games he played. I kept smiling sweetly, carefully typing each reply like I wasn’t soaking in thoughts of his breath on my throat. He probably thinks I’m just friendly. He has no idea.
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