Chasing Her Light - Resisting My Brother's Bestie

Elvis

I stare at Gary, trying not to look like a fish, which I'm failing miserably at. I imagine myself looking like a flounder, both eyes on one side, face smushed to one side. Beady eyed and confused, with a gaping mouth.

I'm not sure how to feel. Rage, sadness, fear and shock battle within me.

I see movement from my peripheral vision and turn my gaze to the source of my ire.

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦... 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺... 𝘈𝘛 𝘔𝘠 𝘍𝘜𝘊𝘒𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘑𝘖𝘉!

I narrow my eyes at him. He just took my promotion!

I barely get a glimpse of his stupid face before his attention is drawn away by several of my coworkers, most likely welcoming him.

His movements are graceful; unhurried and my heart skips a beat as I fully take him in. How is he still so beautiful? My emotions range from anger to hate to lust and desire.

I've never wanted to f**k someone that I hate but there's a part of my brain that's pushing me to climb him like a tree. Hell, the same part of my brain is telling me to throw him down and ride him. Still tall, still swoon worthy, still sexy as hell.

Those broad shoulders and back are begging to have nails dug into them. Specifically MY nails. That full head of hair is calling to be gripped while he pounds into...

I shake those thoughts off.

It's like the universe is mocking me. The world's most beautiful man with the world's ugliest heart.

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?

My mind races with "what ifs."

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘦?

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵?

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦?

I mean, I wouldn't be surprised. I'm not well liked at home.

I haven't taken my eyes off of him for a moment. I'm surprised he doesn't notice me as my glare is threatening to burn a hole into his head like a laser. He smiles and shakes hands as he introduces himself to much of the staff.

There are smatterings of applause and congratulations all around but I'm not able to move. Not until Abby pokes my shoulder with her elbow. I throw a look her way. She's way too bony to be pulling this s**t. It's like being stabbed.

She raises her perfectly shaped dark eyebrows and motions with her head, questioning me without a word. I roll my eyes, understanding all too well what she means.

"𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?! 𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘫𝘰𝘣!"

The waggle of her eyebrows and the added smirk on her lips say, "𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘚𝘖 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦. 𝘎𝘰 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧."

I reluctantly rise from my seat, feeling like a friggin dragon ready to spew fire. My eyes are glued to his back. His broad and muscular...

𝘕𝘰 𝘯𝘰... 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘨𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦.

Abby nudges me all the way to the front where the congratulatory group has dwindled.

I rip my eyes from Chase and focus on the new management team. I plaster a smile onto my face and robotically go person to person, making meaningless small talk and offering quiet congratulations.

I can still see him in my mind, all 6'3 of him, all broad shoulders, wicked smile and perfectly tousled blonde hair.

He makes me sick.

I remember having a crush on him, when I was very young, maybe ten or eleven.

That died really quick the minute I turned thirteen. Instead of ignoring me like he normally did, he turned to making cruel jabs and jokes at my expense.

Heartless pranks that my family all told me was his way of showing that he cared about me like a big brother. Like MY big brother, Luke.

I said nothing to anyone about what was really happening. About the things that Chase said to me when no one else was around. I didn't even talk to Luke about it, terrified that he would be angry with me and no longer wish to have anything to do with me.

I was never physically threatened but Chase brought me to tears enough that it affected me severely on and off for the next four years. I didn't think anyone would believe me since they only believed what they saw and what they saw was "harmless." So what was the point?

I suffered in silence until the douche went to college.

Since then, I had heard nothing about his exploits. I didn't care enough to follow him on social media or ask about him. I had hoped he'd fallen off the face of the earth but, alas, 'twas not so to be.

Abby has me by the elbow half pushing, half dragging me and my dread is making me resist more with every inch closer I get to him.

He's surrounded by a gaggle of mostly women. I hear a chorus of giggles and, of course, the high pitched, fake, honey coated "cute" giggle of Vivian.

𝘎𝘢𝘩... 𝘞𝘏𝘠𝘠𝘠𝘠?!

I want to barf, and not just because of her overwhelming scent. LITERALLY you can smell her from fifteen feet away.

Like, really ... how much damn perfume and scented lotion do you need?

She f*****g smells like an old lady... stuck in an elevator...I don't know how many different scents she mixed but it had to be a minimum of four.

Abby finally stops nudging me when we're close enough to hear the quiet rumble of his voice. It's like I'm at a mini Elvis concert without the screaming but with all the excitement. I wouldn't be surprised if someone passed out.

I swear that every single estrogen filled body in this room is ovulating. Even Abby looks like she's about to swoon over him.

Eye roll.

Suddenly I'm standing by Chase. Close enough that his cologne cuts through Vivian's desperate attempt to cover up what has to be B.O.

His scent is refreshing. Like a mountain spring. It's tantalizing, appealing...

Sexy.

Abby starts moving closer to the giggling idiots standing in a half circle around him, leaving me where I am. I'm at an angle to where I can just see his profile.

He looks ... older, which at this point is logical. But he still has that same damn charming look in his eyes. It's been ten years since I'd last seen him. A part of me wonders if maybe it was more than his appearance that's changed.

I stop myself. My days of naivety and being the quiet little victim who says nothing are LONG over.

I no longer take bullying. I no longer fear what people say about me. I no longer fear my past. Well... until today. Until it blew back into my life in the form of Chase Gray.

I look at the group of swooning women and realize that Abby is no longer focusing on me. She's too busy being won over by Chase's outward persona. I fidget with my hands and twirl the ends of my hair around my fingers, a nervous tic. I bite my lip, contemplating my options for escape.

I see the door from the corner of my eye. I slowly back away hoping that no one has seen my movement but I don't have to worry. He's too busy being the center of attention (as always) and Abby's gonna end up pregnant by the time she's done swooning with the groupies.

I turn sideways and kinda scuttle like a crab towards the door, absurdly convinced that once I turned to my side I would be less noticable.

Another round of feminine laughter rings out, giving me enough time to ease my way out the door back to my office, ignoring everyone in my wake.

I get back to the safety of my desk and drop my head down onto the lowest stack of papers piled on top of it. I start fidgeting with my fingers, realizing suddenly that they're trembling. For the first time, I'm glad to have my office in a cubicle and not one with a window.

I need my privacy.

I draw in a breath and raise my head. I glance at my computer then at the pile of work that rests beside it. I put my ear buds in, crack my knuckles and turn my music up. I start tackling the manuscripts, being extra thorough during the process.

I need to get my mind off of Chase and what he's doing here.