Chapter 12: Jaxson
1131 Words
These two wolves from the North are gifted, it must be said. They were far from in a strong position in court, isolated against a pack of suspicious wolves, and yet they stood up to the horde. And to Cooper who, at first glance, is rather impressive. But they didn’t even flinch.
And Sixine… Why did she take the risk of defending me? We barely know each other! Besides, no one among my people dared to intervene. Or rather none of them wanted to. My fate never moved anyone; it just aroused the impatience of those who wanted to see the axe fall. Why was she so involved, then?
I have a vague idea, but it seems insane to me. As soon as I laid eyes on her, I was captivated. She seemed to be, too. Then these few days of captivity apparently brought us closer than reason, and united us in adversity. Sharing discomfort and rejection, expectation and fears, there’s nothing like bonding.
I wait. Not that I’m in a hurry, but the sooner my sentence comes, the sooner I’ll be released. Behind my closed eyelids, I can still see Sixine’s quicksilver eyes, her sparkling gaze, and her rebellious smile. She defended me without having anything to gain, and that simple fact makes me happy. It was me who won.
The blows of Tyler and Emmitt rain down on me, punctuated by grunts of satisfaction from Alpha’s dogs. It seems enjoyable to demolish me, and then it’s liberating, I imagine, not to hold back. No matter, the suffering will end soon. And then I’ll go back to her – as a visitor, this time – and I’ll plead her case myself to get her out of this horrible cell where she’s going to languish if I don’t do anything. For their part, the cousins will be proud to remind Cooper how well they obeyed. Nothing glorious, it’s pack life that wants that.
I imagine his state at this moment, his stomach knotted, probably agonizing while waiting to see that I survived and that my life is not in danger. His fate isn’t enviable, even if mine is even less so.
Finally, the dump-truck twins stop beating me. It’s not relaxing to beat someone up. They huff like oxen. I can no longer distinguish anything around me, for my eyes are captive to my already swollen and bruised eyelids. The pain is worse once the beating has stopped. There shouldn’t be a single bone left for me; a throbbing pain pulses in my veins. I no longer know if it is my crumbling or my reconstitution that hurts me. Probably the combination of the two.
How did we get here? Everything had started well, however. Coming from a respected lineage, we lived a happy childhood, our mother making sure to educate us and build us a good character above all else. For her, the interests of the pack were paramount, but ours had to prevail.
I remember the pain that gripped us when she left us, carried away by a mysterious illness, the contents of which no one ever wanted to reveal to us. The eyes of our father, himself Alpha, went out that day as if he had died at the same time as her. Subsequently, he had never ceased to prepare his succession. Cooper made a perfect Alpha; as for me, I was the only shadow on the board, much more attached to satisfying my whimsical ambitions than those, too hierarchical, of the pack. Too puny, not assertive enough, and too little interested in power games. He pushed me aside and in doing so made me an Omega. An outcast.
This transition was not so radical, it took place gradually, from innocuous remarks to more and more frequent humiliations. As my brother’s equal, I became his stooge, to finally become his footstool. I was only there to remind the others how perfect he was, and what a fabulous guide he would make for the Bretton pack. My identity and feelings got lost in the comparisons and taunts of our peers. I was the eternal second until I was nothing more than a doormat.
Cooper was never comfortable with all this, but he hoped to satisfy our father, to ensure his survival and, more than anything, he aspired to make him proud to compensate for the shame that I inspired in him. He, therefore, complied with his demands without flinching, while supporting me out of sight. A double game that ended up destroying our bond, despite our mutual affection.
If he defends me today, it’s almost automatic. It’s been a long time since we’ve been in phase, and our exchanges are limited to the strictest of courtesies. I’m sure, however, that he is torn between his essential function and the regrets of having lost our bond along the way. I know he blames himself for enjoying this place of Alpha, when I am nothing more than an Omega. My function is essential to the pack, but I, Jaxson, am only an easily replaceable fuse. But at least I escaped exile, and I’m happy about that because exile leads to death or to getting lost in your wolf.
I stifle a cry: one of my ribs moved. I suck, damn! My punctured organs are reconstituting themselves so slowly… I feel them regenerating, just like this excruciating pulsation which punctuates my difficult breathing.
Six. Focus on Six.
Now my fingers are cracking. Then my left shin, the pieces of which seem to bounce under my swollen flesh.
I will die.
Could it be that my heart is giving way in the process of being reconstituted? No, this only happens in wolves too old to support the healing process.
You can’t die, you have to get Six out of her cell!
My jaw clenches so hard that I risk cracking my teeth. I refuse to scream, my tormentors would be only too happy to hear the echo of my sufferings. They will remain confidential, even if they can easily guess it.
To divert me from my torture, I think of her. Six. Again and again. To her passion when she defended me, her strength of character, her astonishing conviction and the accuracy of her sharp words. To the values we share, to our obvious aversion to injustice, even if it is unlikely that we have faced it in the same way. To her charisma as powerful as her eloquence. To her ebony hair with blue highlights, to her delicate velvet skin, to her enticing lips and to her curves, which I imagine to be voluptuous and greedy.
A growl escapes me. Between discomfort and envy, my feelings are lost, anaesthetized by this vision that I hope to keep forever before my eyes. Sixine…
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