Chapter 22: Jaxson
1566 Words
"Thanks, Lyle. I have to go."
"I know where you’re going, boy…"
"Oh, yes?"
He nods, looking worried.
"Be careful," he warns me.
I nod vaguely and turn away. I know he thinks he’s doing the right thing, but I don’t need anyone interfering in my relationship with Sixine. I just want to take advantage of what the present has to offer me.
As I leave the kitchen, my gaze meets the thundering eyes of Betas Jake and Zev, leaning against each side of the door. Always snooping around and playing gossip for my Alpha brother, those two. To believe that they have nothing better to do than fall on me at the slightest opportunity. It’s not for nothing that they are there at the same time as me, and it is certainly not to eat. I sneak between them casually and slip into the hallway.
Six.
Only she matters to me in the mess of my Omega life. It’s the only almost certain given in this future surrounded by guilt and doubts. I owe it to her for keeping my place in the pack, after all.
The filter of my beauty in front of my eyes, I go mechanically from corridor to corridor, crossing cubs and their parents who are heading towards the instruction floor, before arriving at her jail cell. When will she finally be free? The memory of our fleeting kiss never leaves my mind, just like the taste on my lips and the warmth of her bewitching breath. My heart races as I imagine myself plunging my face into her shiny hair, breathing in her scent, and letting my fingers slide unimpeded over her milky, delicate skin. How I would like to feel her shudder against me, lose myself in her arms, discover her curves hidden under this outfit she didn’t choose.
A painful shock forces me to come back to reality.
"Can’t you watch where you’re going?" Cooper barks, as surprised as I am.
"You too?"
It escaped me. At the same time, it’s true, he didn’t see me either! It’s strange right now. He is usually so calm, so self-possessed, but now seems anxious, as if something was bothering him. Could this be due to the increasing number of disappearances? To my uncomfortable situation? Unless I missed something?
"Don’t tell me you’re going to visit that northern wolf?"
I raise a sly eyebrow.
"Yes, that’s exactly what I’m about to do."
"I oppose it."
His features harden. Apparently he’s serious. A few worried wrinkles even appear at the corner of his eyes; he has recently grown old, overwhelmed by his responsibilities and the contradictions they create between his feelings and his obligations. If my situation is not enviable, I recognize that his isn’t either.
"Can I know why?"
"It’s too risky. We don’t know anything about her or her intentions."
"Really? You realize how hypocritical that is, I hope?"
He tries to protest, looking annoyed, but I continue without giving him the opportunity to go further:
"You’re not going to make me believe that you’re keeping Elinor captive in your chambers just out of the goodness of your soul? As for Sixine, you are solely responsible for her imprisonment, it’s a bit much to blame me for that. It’s up to you to get her out."
"I only want to protect you, Jaxson," he tempers, evading my attack.
"Yeah, like you protect the rest of the pack."
"No. I protect you from the rest of the pack."
"We’re not cubs anymore, Cooper! I no longer need your protection! You suffocate me with your perfection, do you understand that?"
He tries to hide it, but I can see that these few words hurt him. Understanding that he’ll not be able to make me listen to reason with such weak arguments which, I know, are undoubtedly valid in his eyes.
"Jaxson…" he said again, emotion vibrating a little in his voice. "You are my brother. And I…"
But he fails to finish his sentence. However, I would have liked him to do so. Instead, he steps aside to let me pass, and I’m disappointed because hearing those words might have changed everything. I greet him in silence, jaw clenched, and sink into the hallway, determined to join the only person who still finds qualities in me.
My steps are heavier, and slower too. This impromptu meeting broke the magic of this long-awaited reunion. Why must the slightest discussion between my brother and me oppose us? This situation oppresses me. I no longer feel like I belong to this intolerant pack that willingly bends to the most rigid rules, as long as they rid them of disturbing elements, like me. And yet, I can’t see myself leaving her.
And there, just a few steps away, awaits the one who could shatter my life. She’s not welcome in our clan. And I refuse to see her suffer any longer when she could enjoy her freedom elsewhere. But I’m also incapable of letting her go if it means never seeing her again. She would leave a gaping hole in my already tried heart. Would I survive it?
The choices available to me are few: to see her wither away and maintain my status as the whipping boy of this community that offers me security or to see her leave our lands at the risk of an exile that would be fatal to me. In either case, one of us will die.
I push open the door, eager to see her smile despite the situation. But her lips are sealed. It’s not sweet words that greet me, but long sobs, between rage and despair. Sixine is at her worst. As her tears flow, what’s left of my already damaged soul shatters before the evidence: I can’t do anything for her. Neither for me.
"Jaxson," she gasps when she sees me.
"What is it, Six?"
I grab her tiny hand and place a kiss on it.
"It’s Neeve… We had a fight…"
Neeve? Did she see her friend? What could she have said to her that was so terrible that she found herself in such a state?
"I’m going to end up alone here," she says while her sobs redouble in intensity.
"I am here.".
"Until when? What will happen when you regain the place you deserve among your people?" she asks me without giving me time to answer her. "You will forget me and I will remain alone, prisoner of this place…"
"I would never do that, Six. I swear", I tried to reassure her as her inexhaustible cries grew louder.
Her distress overwhelms me.
I tighten my fingers around her and slide my other arm through the bars to pull her against me. She doesn’t resist. Between resignation and envy, she approaches, her face bathed in tears, and hugs me, feverish. I in turn put my hands on her side and brush her wet nose with mine, depositing from time to time tender kisses on her red and fleshy lips. Without these icy silver railings, I would have hugged her with all my strength to show her my attachment, the extent of which she certainly doesn’t measure. I might have bitten her too...
I’m a lone wolf by nature, I’ve never felt this visceral need to make a wolf mine, to possess it, to mark it. And yet, as my fingers spread over the soft skin of her back, that’s all I want: to keep her with me forever.
What if the solution was there? If it was not a question of choosing between her life and mine, but of uniting us to find together our freedom?
"Six."
"Yes?"
"Dry your tears, my sweet. We’ll leave the Bretton domain together, I promise…"
She gently raises her head and plunges her eyes drowned in tears into mine. Despite her despair, it is a deep gratitude that I read in her eyes before she in turn places an ardent kiss on my mouth. Her burning lips seize mine, despite the bars that still separate us. Her breath slips into me and gives the measure to my heart, which beats with such violence that I feel my ribs c***k. It’s deliciously painful, this feeling of living that embraces me for the first time. Her greedy fingers go up my back and press me against the bars with unimaginable force. There is no doubt that she is a wolf. And even less that she is the one intended for me. I struggle to catch my breath under her onslaught, but I don’t care. I don’t mind dying of asphyxiation if it’s to be consumed by her. Besides, my skin against the silver burns me, but I tolerate this suffering while letting the phenomenon drain me of my energy. I’m willing to put up with it for a lifetime if that’s the price to pay for staying by her side.
Why wait to emancipate ourselves from these constraints that serve us? Why remain prisoners of my brother and his family, when adventure reaches out to us and only a few gates separate us from it?
I painfully tear myself away from her devouring lips, determined to enjoy it for eternity:
"Let’s go."
"Now?" she asks me, her grey eyes expressing deep surprise.
"Now."
You are crazy.
Too bad if this madness kills me, at least I would have lived.
- Writer
