Ya Amar (My Moon)

Forty one

The other side of the bed was empty when I woke up the following morning. Amir was not in the room. At first I was worried but the sound of shower coming from the bathroom knocked out my worry. I sat up in bed, the morning sunlight streaming through the windows. I climbed down and walked to the balcony to see the bright day.

Birds tweeted, sang and dance on the tree behind the balcony in an explicit melody. Sunlight filled the sky, pure light beaming through the clouds, its beams illuminating the lands. The grasses were green and perky. Fragrance of flowers that had bloomed wafted across the morning air. I breathe in wishing time would stop. I stretched out my hand into the rays of light to allow soft glow of the sunlight to slithered through my fingers. The sun had risen out of the horizon promising a new day.

"How was your night?" I heard Amir's voice.

Not startled, I turned gently to look at him. Amir stood by the balcony door, a towel around his waist. Sunlight splashed on his spotless chest. The way he wrapped his hand around his chest made the muscles in his arms bulge.

I have not forgotten the day before. We had to come back to London in short notice. I had slept off due to tiredness and did not know when he arrived.

"It was fine" I said coldly then walked past him.

"You are still angry right?" he asked making me to halt.

"Do I look pleased to you?" I asked looking at him then went to take my bath.

I did not know what to make for breakfast. I just mixed what came to my mind and made what was befitting for breakfast. Amir does not take coffee so there was no need for morning coffee. When the food was ready, I got the dining table ready. Amir had finished dressing in what I had chosen for him. Even though we had not exchanged a word after our little conversation in the morning, I still had to do my duty. He was seated on the dining table reading newspaper. I was not a fan of news so newspapers had always bore me.

Quietly, I served him his food. He put away his newspaper to eat. When I wanted to serve mine, he held my hand. I looked at him to see he was gazing at me with a known look.

"What can I do for you?" I asked taking my hand away from his.

"I want to eat with you from the same plate and feed you" he said with the corners of his lips curled up.

"I can do that myself. I have plates and hands" I said resuming to what I was doing.

"You know I don't like it" he said pushing his food away. I said nothing. "I told you. I hate your silent treatments and ignorance" he gripped my hand. His grasp was strong and almost painful. When he looked at me, his eyes had turned cold and red. The look on his face became blank. "Say something Noor!" he shouted getting up. The chair fell back.

I jolted in my seat looking at him.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked my voice tiny.

"You really do not know what's wrong with me Noor?" he gritted. "You are my freaking problem! I told you I hate your silent treatment and ignorance" he banged the table.

I trembled in my seat, air flowing out of my lungs rapidly. My hands became damp. He was angry.

"Amir" I called not able to know my voice.

"Why are you so irrational Noor?" he pulled me up from the chair, his hand tight like a rope around my arm. "Can't you understand a simple situation? Santino knew we went to Nigeria. He knows we stayed at your parents' place, you visited your friends and went out with them, I went out with my cousins. He knows everything we did. You are behaving stupidly. I told you to understand but you refused to. Don't give me that damn silent treatment but you just turned deaf ears to my words. I hate it when you don't allow me near you or when you just shut me out. I hate everything" he barked on my face.

I swallowed, my heart stomping in my chest. Amir's eyes almost bulged from their sockets. His veins on his head were protruding and his knuckles turned white.

"He knows we had a stopover at Turkey. He knows we were coming to Prague. He knows everything that happened. Were you expecting me to allow us stay there after that? Do you know how I felt when we were being chased that day with bullets behind us? I was scared. I was not scared for myself but I was scared for you. I did not want to lose you. I fought them back because of you. So stop acting like a child and grow up" he pushed me back into the chair, yanked his suit jacket from the chair and stepped out.

I sat, my muscles stiffed and my head blank. I just made him angry. He did it for our safety. Santino knew our every move and here I was acting like a fool. I slapped my head. He did not even eat. I looked at the food. Foolish me. Now he is angry at me and we just fought. We just had a fight and it was my fault. Santino caused this. Why does this man have to come back into our peaceful life?

***

I needed to do something to apologise to him. I had made him angry in the morning and he had left without eating. What should I do to show I am sorry? Noor, you stupid freak. Could you not have just understood? He had not even wait for me and driven to work. I had to drive myself to school. When my friends at school had asked me why I was back early, I had given them the same excuse. I could not tell them I had to come back because some crazy men were after us.

"Noor are you listening to me?" Mi Jin's voice brought me out of my trance.

"Yes, what were you saying?"

"The textbook is perfect for the assignment" she thrust a big history textbook in my hand.

"Okay"

"Let's do the assignment. You are not rushing home right" she took a seat in the library and I sat beside.

"Assalamu alaikum" Aisha, a Lebanon friend I met before I left for Nigeria greeted me.

"Walaikum Salam"

"When did you come back?"

"Yesterday"

"How is everyone at home?"

"They are fine"

"Noor there is an fashion show this weekend. A few friends of mine and I are going. I want to know if you also want to come? And my elder sister is getting married" her smile grew cheerier.

"Congratulations and yes I can come along. That's even nice. I will call you and get back to you if I do not have anything to do this weekend"

"Okay, I will be expecting your call"

"Alright bye"

"Can I come along too" Mi Jin asked after Aisha left.

"Yes, you can"

I decided I will do a candle light dinner as a way to apologise to Amir. I knew nothing about it so I had to browse how to plan a romantic dinner. With Mi Jin's I shopped for unscented candles and candle stands. When I got home, I went straight to the kitchen where I got to work. For appetizers, I made spicy butterscotch wings. For main course, I made chicken Milanese with spaghetti and red velvet strawberry trifle for dessert and fruit juice for our drink.

Few minutes to Maghrib, I was done. I decorated the dining table with red rose petals, candles in cylindrical candle stand, crystal glasses and fancy plates, napkins and silverwares. I had wanted to use our room's balcony or the garden but it was spring and the nights were usually cold and windy. Glad with what I had done, I headed to the room where I prayed and chose a dress to wear. Choosing a dress was not hard. I chose a red halter neck without a back. It had a high slit on its left good enough to show almost all my leg. It was the red dress I got when I shopped with Mahira.

He did not call or even text me. Is he still angry? I hope my effort will not be fruitless. My heart studded at the thought of him rejecting everything. My hand shook as I lined my eyes. He would not do that right? He can't be angry to that extent. I capped my lipstick and returned it back to its place. I had used perfumes and scented creams to smell nice just for him.

I looked gorgeous. It was undeniable. I was effortlessly attractive. The dress shaped my feminine figure the right places. My makeup was natural and flawless. My spotless skin was gleaming from perfect treatment. I tied my braids to the back into a bun with a side swept bang that almost covered one of my eyes. The kohl I used made my eyes more prettier than usual. My husband can't see me like this and turn a blind eye to it right? I assured myself he will like everything and there was nothing for me to worry about.

I lit the candles, switched off the dining room's light, played a soft jazz music in the background that added a romantic ambiance and dimmed the living room light. Just as I brought out the fruit juice and appetizer, Amir's car drove into the compound. The headlight flashed through the curtains into the living room before he switched off the engine. It was time to determine my luck.

"Hey" I said when Amir walked into the living room. He stiffened startled by my voice.

I was leaning on the entrance of the dining room, a hand on my hip and my bare leg obvious from the high slit.

"You scared me" Amir said taking slow steps to me.

"Did I?" I stood straight and move fluidly to meet him, my hips dancing to my movement with a sweet smile on my face.

Amir halted, an eyebrow went up a bit, and his gaze fixed on me. His lips parted a bit with a little dazed expression and his pupils grew larger. I was supposed to feel nervous with thoughts like what is he thinking swirling in my head but confidence built in very strong.

"How was work?" My voice was velvety as I leaned in to kiss his cheek.

Just like always, Amir looked sexy with messed up hair.

"You are home quiet late today. Why?" I asked placing a hand on his shoulder as I got hold of his messenger bag. His eyes roamed about my body obvious he was checking me out.

"I had to take care of some things at work" he settled a hand on my waist as I gazed up at him. His eyebrows moved up when he realised what I was putting on had no back.

I dropped his bag on the armchair followed by his suit jacket.

"What....why...you look sexy tonight. What's the special occasion?" he looked at the dining room.

I smiled put my hand over his neck. Thank God he is not pushing me away.

"I wanted to say sorry. I was irrational, annoying and not understanding" I trailed a hand down his chest. "I hope you are not angry with me again" I looked at him through my eyelashes running my tongue over my lips that were painted red.

He looked down at me, his eyes laced with a familiar expression. He licked his lips before smiling. Not the usual smile but a flirty one. I squealed mentally. Whatever I was doing was working. He liked what he was seeing and he wants it.

"You thought I might still be angry" he held my chin gently in between his hand. I nodded.

His hand went up and down my bare back in a slow and steady motion as if he wanted to feel my skin. My skin tingled at his touch. He leaned in meticulously and grazed my lips with his in a very brief moment. Even though it was a very short kiss, my body had jolted as if electrical shocks had been given to me and my stomach knotted. Every time he does that I get the same feeling, chills, knots in my stomach, and a heartbeat.

"I am not angry"

"Really?"

"Yes"

"I was worried. I thought you were still angry at me. You did not call or text me" I ranted relieved.

"I forgot my phone in the car" he laughed. "But I still like the surprise" he glanced at the dining then me.

"Then let's eat. I have more surprises to show you" I winked and pulled him to the dining room.