The Fates Intertwin

03 | A Smile

If we kept mourning and grieving for every single we lose, the life cycle will stop. There would be no meaning for life. The role of loss is to teach us a lesson; to teach us how to give what we lose its true value and cherish it. Loss is there, to push us forward, not to pull us backward. . . .

No matter who we lose. . .

That was what Claire was supposed to know, what she should do next depended on that thought.

The atmosphere became so silent compared to the past hours, only low groans. The tears in her eyes already dried and she felt tired from that grievance. She knew she couldn't win anything from the tears that would land on Ken's head. Laid on the sand, Claire tried to gather herself, and tried to put herself under that real fact. She pondered at the hellish Sun, the annoying grey clouds, and the purplish canopy above her. She heard no sound except of the wind that blew sand onto her face. She heard the sound of the no mercy she lived in, and the pity of her life.

Her head felt like exploding; it was so heavy. She turned it at the side to look at her cousin's head that was centimetres away, before collecting her wait and stood up, so suddenly for her head to feel drowsy. She placed a palm on her face and looked at Ken and smiled.

Her wails and griefs wouldn't help but add insult to her injury. She couldn't just leave Ken like this for his meat to rotten in her embrace. She would feel guilty for her all life if she didn't give his body the rights of a dead. She glanced at him, for the last time, before grabbing Ken's shoulders and dragging him along the way.

Her sobs, though, didn't stop. She made it sure for her eyes to look away, not to his side, or else she would no more attain herself.

["All these weren't supposed to happen. We were supposed to live happily together. At least, why didn't I leave with them? Why. . Why do I hate this? "]

Her leg came across a rock which made her stumble and for Ken's head to fall with a thud on the ground. Claire panicked and quickly ran to him, rubbing the area where his head was hit.

"I- I'm sorry. Its my mistake. I- I will be careful next time, " she apologized for her soulless cousin, the stood up completing her way. Although her body felt weak and fragile to move a limb, she pressed on herself to go on. She, ironically, felt like he was begging her for a warm and safe place, to lie in peacefully.

Claire stopped to wipe her sweat and looked around her. In the midst of deserted lands with no winds they were, a perfect place for a grave she thought. She ensured that Ken was beside her, and knelt down, digging through the sand with her soft small hands. A hard work, but she had enough persistence to push her for digging. That sure took her ages, but she never got bored or tired of it to give up. Either it took her coon's age or not, she was never counting the days and nights. She would stop for a rest. She would go and lie near Ken, well, stuck to him. Her head would lie on his arm, her arms would hug his cold body, and start hallucinating about hearing him humming for her a lullaby to sleep.

She would see him in her dreams, calling for her to follow him. Either she got a gunshot from behind in the midway before holding his hand, or the ground under her feet turn into water and she drown, or she would find herself falling from a cliff because Ken pushed her. All these dreams, she would see Ken smiling at her suffering, a weird devilish smile, and his irises were glowing with red.

["That's not Ken. . Ken won't wish for me mis. Who's he? Why'd he take Ken's shape? "]

She wasn't comfortable with such dreams. Because of it, she never had a good time sleeping. At last, she would just forget sleeping and just stare at the stars, talking about them with Ken, about the constellations he taught her, and the brightest and the weak glowing stars. She never missed any detail.

After 3 days, Claire felt of no energy to continue. 3 days without food or water broke her down. Fortunately, the digging was over, and the grave was ready for the sand to hug Ken. But she just lied down flatly on the ground, trying to have breaths for any energy to move her muscles. She weakly shut her eyes, to feel droplets of water on her face. She immediately flapped her eyes widely, and soon, the sky's grey clouds poured.

["H- He will catch a cold. Hurry up! "] was the first thought that came across her mind, not that she was parched to death and that was a good opportunity to silence her thirst. She ran up to Ken, tumultuously grabbing him and it took her quite a hard time to put him down without any mistakes. Wiping the water that wetted all herself, she was so satisfied and happy with the job she did. Her eyes were full of glows of longing and bitter in her throat. It was the farewell time, when she would see his face for the last time. She leant down, brushed a light kiss on his for head, before covering him with the mud. It was easier to burry than to dig, thanks for the sand that was now a slippery mud. After the burial was done, she prayed for him as he taught her.

"Oh God, the Lord of the Two Worlds, place him in your highest paradise. Bless him with honoured eternity, and meeting his mother who he longed for her warm embrace " she prayed from the bottom of her heart. Her tears went down so smoothly with the rain.

What to do next, Claire didn't know. She just sat beside the grave, hugging her legs to her chest with a ghost smile on her face as she stared at the place where his head lied. She felt of strange happiness and self satisfaction, which somehow made her feel safe. Time went by but the rain didn't stop. Claire lied down, tremendously trembling from the cold.

"K- Ke- Ken. H- Help me. I- I- I- am so cold, " she intoned so sickly with hard breaths. She stayed in that state, asking the dead Ken to help her, who was underground with clasped hands for help.

She didn't feel the time that passed for the sky to listen her suffering and stooped. The night sky was so clear that the stars twinkled so brightly in the sky. This was the first thing she saw when her eyes fluttered. She was so enchanted with the scene, and started pointing at each star for Ken; the brightest, and the least twinkling, and the constellations each group of stars formed. She felt delighted for having such a rare opportunity to stargaze.

When the morning washed over the sky, Claire panicked for forgetting the fact that the others were still lying there, far away, rotting. She blew a kiss to Ken before galloping towards where she didn't know, because she lost all the traits of the place. After realizing that, she stopped, so dreaded with the fact that she was lost, totally lost.

She wandered here and there, trying to find her way back. The Sun was unmerciful and hit its ultimate heat at her. She slowly lowered herself to the ground, to close her eyes. She thought the the moment she always waited for had finally come. Before everything could turn black, she noticed a dark silhouette from afar coming closer to her.