Night with Sole Regret

TOUCH ME XX

“I'm sorry,” Kellen said, “You’re right. I shouldn't have told her.”

“Thank God you did so I can dump him before I start to like him too much,” Caitlyn said. “I would never be interested in a guy who was called Piggie in high school due to a weight problem.” She was joking, but Owen didn't laugh. He seemed to expect her rejection.

“Should we take you back to your friend’s house then?” Owen asked quietly.

Kellen huffed out a breath and shook his head. “Still clueless. She’s kidding, fucktard.”

“Shut up,” Owen said, but some of the tension had eased from his body, and he glanced at her from under his lashes.

This really was his issue. Kellen understood his friend well. So why had he felt the need to share something so personal about Owen? She was missing something here. Something major. Either Kellen was trying to scare her away—which didn’t seem likely—or entice her into staying so he didn’t have to accompany Owen to s*x clubs any more. Of course it was possible he had no motivation at all and was just striking up conversation, but she took Kellen for the kind of person who calculated his every move. Why had Kellen risked Owen’s obvious animosity by sharing something that personal about Owen’s past?

At least she understood why Owen was so adamant about making her feel beautiful and why he was so nice to everyone even though he was easily the best-looking man she'd met in person. Though he had to own a mirror, he didn't see himself as mind-bogglingly gorgeous. Did he go to s*x clubs because he thought he required a sure bet? She was just speculating, of course, because she didn't live in his skin. She didn't know what the world looked like through his eyes. But she wanted to. She wanted him to feel as good about himself as he made her feel about herself. And lord she was thankful that he was as attractive on the inside as he was on the outside. His personality sparkled even more than the twinkle in his pretty blue eyes.

“I don't want to go back to Jenna's house,” Caitlyn said. “I do wish I'd met you somewhere other than a s*x club. I guess I should be glad I met someone like you at all.”

“Someone like me? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Guys like you don't usually talk to girls like me. Girls like me don't get invited to prom. Guys don’t make fools of themselves for girls like me. Girls like me are ignored. Invisible. But I'm not a girl anymore. I'm a woman. Thanks for reminding me.”

“You are definitely a woman. I like women so much more than I like girls.”

“Uhhh…” Caitlyn wasn’t sure what he meant by that.

“He prefers older women,” Kellen said. “When he first saw you in the club, I thought he was going to eject himself out of his pants and directly onto your lap.”

Caitlyn laughed. “Well, that definitely would have gotten my attention, but I doubt my reaction would have been positive.” She wished Kellen wasn’t sitting between them, because she suddenly wanted to draw Owen into her arms. “So I take it you were hurt by a younger woman.”

“Young women, but they were the same age as I was.”

Kellen released a deep sigh. “Most of it happened in high school and the year following graduation. This really hot girl broke his heart. He asked her out and she agreed. When she stood him up, her excuse was that she liked him as a friend.”

“They all liked me as a friend.”

“What's wrong with that?” Caitlyn asked.

“I didn't want her to like me as a friend. I wanted her to like me as a man. And so after high school, I lost a lot of weight. Got in good shape.”

“I'll say,” Caitlyn said appreciatively.

“And then he became a man w***e,” Kellen said with a laugh.

“I'm not a man w***e. I don't get paid. Even though Caitlyn seems to think I'd be good at it,” he said under his breath.

“You know I was kidding, right?” she said. “I value you as a person, not just for the hot body under those clothes.”

“It's okay, Caitlyn. He likes to be treated like a piece of meat,” Kellen said. “That's why I'm so surprised he invited you out after getting what he wanted. It’s not his usual pattern. He won’t let anyone get close because he’s so afraid of getting hurt.”

“I figured everyone else is breaking the band's no-relationships-while-we're-on-tour rule, so I might as well give it a shot. And I’m not afraid of getting hurt.”

“You are,” Kellen insisted.

Caitlyn's head was swimming. “Relationship?”

“Are you against that?” Owen asked.

“I don’t think I'm ready for a relationship. The ink is barely dry on my divorce papers.”

Owen laughed. “Good, because as soon as I said it, I got cold feet.”

“So what ever happened to that girl in high school?” Caitlyn said.

Kellen rolled his eyes. “You wouldn't believe it if he told you.”

“Try me.”

“I went out with several of her friends,” Owen said, “slept with them all and made sure I got the job done properly. And then when the girl who broke my heart asked me out, I turned her down. I said I only liked her as a friend.”

“Sweet revenge?” she asked.

He shook his head. “I regret it now. It was an asshole move. The stupid things kids do.”

“Twenty-year-old kids,” Kellen said.

“Yeah, well, I'm immature. Get over it.”

“So now you prowl s*x clubs,” Caitlyn said. “What are you looking for, Owen?”

“Nothing but a good time.”

“He's still afraid to open up, so he seeks connections that aren't real,” Kellen said. “He was hurt too many times when he was young. Becca was the first who ripped his heart out, but she wasn’t the last.”

“Yeah, see, I learned my lesson. It's better this way, isn't it? Avoid heartache, but still get your rocks off?”

Kellen touched his wristband and shook his head. “No.”

Owen watched him for a moment and then turned his attention to Caitlyn. “So does it bother you? Knowing I used to be someone you wouldn't have even considered sleeping with?”

“How do you know that? Not everyone is superficial. Though I must admit that I was first attracted to you because you're so easy on the eyes and I thought having you would make my ex-husband seethe with envy.”

“s**t,” Owen said. “You want him back, don’t you?”

“What? Of course not. Why would you think that?”

“Why else would you want to make him jealous?”

Caitlyn absorbed his words. Why did she want to make Charles jealous? It wasn’t because she wanted him back. Maybe she wanted the life they’d once had, but after his betrayal of her trust, even if they’d made amends, their relationship would have never been the same.

“At first I thought I did, but I don’t love him anymore. Not the way I once did. And I wasn’t trying to make him jealous. I wanted him to see that the guy I was banging was better looking than his nineteen-year-old co-ed. Save face, you know?”

Owen laughed. “Well I don't mind being your trophy lover, baby.”

Kellen groaned and sighed, sounding exasperated. “Bullshit, Owen. Will you just stop? Stop acting like this is all a game. Stop pretending you ooze self-confidence. Just stop. She knows, okay? You can drop the pretense and just be yourself, not the guy you present to women, to strangers, to get laid. Be the guy who still sees a miserable fat kid when he looks in the mirror.” Kellen whacked him on the side of the head for good measure. “Be yourself. The person I’m lucky enough to know. She deserves to get to know him too.”

Owen crossed his arms over his chest and glanced at the window. “I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Of course not.” The car pulled to a stop. Both men silently fumed while they waited for the driver to open the door.

“She’s not the kind of woman who would hurt you for being who you really are,” Kellen said. “She might even love you for it. I’m sick of you always shortchanging yourself and thinking it’s for the best. If I have to look at you for another minute, I’m going to strangle the life out of you.”

Apparently too annoyed to wait for the driver, Kellen flung the door open and climbed out of the car. Caitlyn and Owen sat there in uncomfortable silence, avoiding each other’s gazes.

Had Kellen really just said she might love Owen? And how could Caitlyn possibly hurt a guy she’d only known for a few hours? She glanced at Owen and caught the flash of panic in his eyes. Way to turn an evening of fun into something awkward and frightening, Mr. Kellen Whatever-Your-Last-Name-Is Guitarist Guy.

“I think he’s a little freaked out because I brought you home,” Owen said.

“Oh, is that all?”

Owen shook his head. “Don’t worry about what he said. I just want to enjoy your company for the evening. I’m not going to let you hurt my feelings. I’m not as sensitive as I used to be.”

She wasn’t buying his denial for a minute, but she had no intention of hurting his feelings. So what if he was sensitive? She liked that about him. She scooted up against him and slid a hand over his hard-muscled thigh. He flexed beneath her palm. At least she understood why he did that now. He was still self-conscious about his body.

“Are we allowed to make out in the back of the limo now that Kellen is gone?” she asked.

“I’d say yes,” he said with a grin.

His lips had barely brushed hers when her cellphone began to bleat in her purse.

“Who’s calling you at two in the morning?” he murmured against her lips.

Caitlyn didn’t know who’d call her this late, but it had better be an emergency. She finally had Owen alone again, and she wanted to exploit every second they had together. She fished her phone out of her handbag and saw Jenna’s name on the caller ID.