Night with Sole Regret

TELL ME XXIII

Gabe nodded, feeling numb.

“You should go sit in the waiting room. We’ll let you know how she is when we know more about her injuries.”

Gabe nodded again, but his feet were rooted to the floor.

A gentle, but firm hand grasped his forearm. He looked down to find Melanie looking up at him, her eyes swimming with tears. She had Beau’s collar gripped firmly in her other hand.

“Come on, sweetheart,” she said. “Let’s go sit down.”

Before I fall down, he thought dully.

He allowed Melanie to lead him out of the exam room and into a gloomy waiting room. Apparently no one had thought to turn on the lights. At Melanie’s insistence, he sank into a vinyl chair. Beau immediately jumped onto his lap and made himself as comfortable as an eighty-pound dog could get when crammed into a narrow chair already crowded by a pair of human thighs. Gabe stroked Beau’s ears.

“You’re worried about her too, aren’t you, boy?” he said to the dog.

Beau groaned and snorted, his big brown eyes fixed on the door.

“You okay?” Melanie asked. “Do you want something to drink?”

He nodded. Shook his head. Took Melanie’s hand and tugged her into the chair beside him. She sat and held his hand. Both his hands and hers were sticky with blood and her pretty dress was ruined, but she wasn’t being a girl about it at all. She was definitely a strong woman, the kind he needed at his side.

“I hate waiting,” she said.

“Thanks for driving,” he said. “And for realizing she was still alive. I thought… I thought she was dead.”

“I thought you were going to beat the s**t out of that boy.”

“He needs someone to beat the s**t out of him. Fifteen years old and already driving drunk. What’s he going to be like in his twenties? I should probably call the sheriff and send him after the kid to make sure he doesn’t get behind the wheel again. Hopefully, he’s still looking for those keys.”

Melanie chuckled softly. “I think that will keep him occupied for a couple hours. Do you want to use my phone?” She pulled it from her purse and handed it to Gabe, who struggled to hold the massive dog on his lap and dial for an emergency operator. Within minutes he was assured that someone would head toward his place and check things out. Yet he still didn’t feel he’d done enough. He’d done more than he had when he hadn’t stopped his friend Joey from driving drunk. One moment of adolescent courage just might have saved Joey’s life.

“Is something else bothering you?” Melanie asked. “You know it wasn’t your fault that Lady got hit.”

He did feel responsible for Lady, but that wasn’t all that was bothering him. Gabe’s sole regret in life was that he hadn’t taken Joey’s keys from him when he’d had the chance. He’d had let his friend get behind the wheel, drunk. Gabe glanced at Melanie, who offered him an encouraging smile. He didn’t like to talk about Joey. But Gabe wanted to share things, meaningful things, with Melanie. He trusted her. He liked her as his friend as well as his lover. And after the way she’d supported him this afternoon and continued to support him, he might even be in love with her. Maybe he’d feel better if he talked about the thing with Joey. People he’d grown up with knew the story, but he hadn’t shared it with anyone in recent years. It hurt too much.

“I’m torn up about Lady getting hurt,” he said. That was no lie. Just saying it made his chest constrict and his eyes burn with unshed tears. It was easier for him to choke down his feelings when he didn’t talk. “That kid, though,” he said, his voice breathless with emotion. “That stupid f*****g kid reminded me of something that happened when I was in high school. Something that ended tragically. Something I might have prevented.”

She didn’t speak, but looked at him expectantly and squeezed his hand in reassurance.

“We were down by the lake, me and a bunch of the band-kids, having a good time—laughing and talking, listening to music. A few of the guys were drinking. I was… uh… trying to get this girl’s attention, but my braces and knobby knees had some strange repelling force on her. Like anti-gravity.”

“I’m sure you were adorable,” Melanie said with a grin.

“Yeah, right.” He snorted. “One of the other drummers in the band, Joey Turner, had about five beers too many and said he wanted to crash the popular kids’ party. The one none of us had been invited to. He tried to get me to go with him. He had no business driving, Mel. He was completely wasted. Otherwise he wouldn’t have even wanted to crash the popular kids’ party. But I was sure if this girl I liked had another wine cooler or two, she’d start to think of me as doable. I was trying so hard to be doable. So instead of taking Joey’s keys or driving him, I let him go. Let him get in that f*****g car and drive. He hit a tree about two miles down the road.” Gabe watched Melanie, searching for her reaction. “He didn’t have to die, Mel.”

Her eyes glittered with tears that sparkled in the dim waiting room, and she sucked one side of her bottom lip into her mouth, worrying it between her teeth. After a moment, she released a sigh. “I never know what to say at times like these,” she said, a hitch to her voice. “In that situation, I’m sure I’d feel guilty too. Even though he made the decision to get behind the wheel, and it’s not really your fault, I’m sure it must feel like it is.” She took a breath. “I said the wrong thing, didn’t I?”

“No. You telling me it wasn’t my fault, saying I shouldn’t beat myself up about it, wouldn’t change the way I feel. I’m glad you understand why it’s unbearable for me.”

“I do understand. I think that’s why I try so hard to keep Nikki out of trouble. For her benefit, yes. But also for mine. So I don’t have to feel guilty if something bad happens to her. That’s horrible, isn’t it? Selfish and…” She glanced at the waiting room door. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be talking about me at all right now. Not after all you’ve been through today.”

Her hand reached toward his jaw, but she snatched it back and stared at its red-streaked surface in horror. “I’m going to go use the restroom real quick. Will you be okay by yourself for a few minutes?”

He chuckled, touched by her unnecessary concern. “I’ll be fine. I’m tougher than I look.”

She eyed the tattoos on the side of his head speculatively. “I kind of doubt that.”

After she’d gone, he checked out the blood on his hands and clothes too. He went to wash up in the men’s room, leaving Beau to rest on the waiting room floor. The shirt he’d wrapped Lady in was completely ruined, so instead of putting it back on, he tossed it in the garbage. He washed his hands and belly in the small porcelain sink, but no amount of blotting his jeans with a wet paper towel lessened the stains.

When he returned to the waiting room, Melanie smiled at him. At least he thought she did. It was hard to see her face around the giant yellow dog on her lap. Gabe leaned over the beast to steal a kiss from his lady friend, and a big slobbery tongue wet the undersides of their chins in a series of enthusiastic licks. Melanie drew away, laughing.

“Save those kisses for Lady, big guy,” she said, giving Beau a scratch behind the ears. “She’s going to need them.”

Gabe wiped dog drool from his chin with the back of his wrist and took the empty seat beside Melanie.

“I can’t feel my legs,” she said.

“Beau,” Gabe said. “Get down.”

The dog groaned and then hopped to the floor and lay at Gabe’s feet, still as stone. He rested his head on his front paws and turned a watchful gaze to the door.

“Aw, he misses her, doesn’t he?” Melanie said. “Did you get both dogs at the same time?”

Gabe shook his head. “Beau is five years older than Lady; she’s only two. Still a pup, really. I had another lab before her. A beautiful chocolate female named Sweetie. She was the most docile and loving dog I ever met. Beau still mourns for her, don’t you, big guy?”

Beau blew out a breath that made his jowls shudder.

“Did she die?” Melanie asked.

Gabe nodded, his heart constricting in his chest again. “Got tangled up with a wild hog.”

“I’m sorry, Gabe. I can tell your dogs mean a lot to you.”

“That transparent, am I?”

She smiled. “Maybe a little.”

Beau suddenly jumped to his feet and eyed the doorway intently. A moment later, the veterinarian strode into the waiting room. Her reassuring smile did amazing things to reduce Gabe’s level of anxiety.

“Lady should pull through,” Dr. Nelson said. “Her liver is swollen, so I’m going to keep her here at least overnight. We’ll see how she feels tomorrow. Her side needed stitches due to a long laceration, and her foreleg has been set. She’ll be in a cast for several weeks. I didn’t see any signs of neck or head trauma, but she will definitely be sore for a week or so.”

A week during which Gabe had to be on the road with the band, but he nodded. “Can I see her?”

“For a few minutes. She’s sedated, so she won’t know you’re there.”

Lady was asleep on the exam table, the fur shaved from her side and dozens of stitches running the length of her dark skin. The assistant was wrapping her leg in gauze for her cast. Gabe stroked Lady’s soft ears and told her to be a good dog, though he decided she could chew as many shoes and steal as much fried chicken as she wanted if she made it through her ordeal. He wouldn’t even yell at her.

On the way back to Gabe’s ranch, Melanie checked her phone for messages. She hadn’t received a single call, email, or text from Nikki in over twenty-four hours. Melanie would have liked to believe that her friend had finally discovered tact and had allowed Melanie to enjoy her weekend with Gabe undisturbed, but she knew Nikki better than that. Either Nikki was having too much fun to bother checking in—unlikely, because when she was having that much fun she liked to brag—or something was wrong. Very wrong. Dread settled in Melanie’s stomach, and she couldn’t shake it. She sent Nikki a text, asking her to please check in because she was starting to worry. Melanie anxiously waited for the answering smart-ass response, but seconds became minutes and her text was marked delivered, but not read. Maybe Nikki had forgotten to charge her phone. Though that wasn’t likely. Nikki might forget to pay her bills or fill up her car with gas, but she never forgot to charge her phone.