Women Equal Respect

Women Equal Respect

I grew up in a society dominated by men. I witnessed that female members in every family should, at all times, yield to the male members' wishes and demands. Be it the father, the brothers or uncles. They rule because they are men and that should never be questioned. Which I often see wrong. What if the woman is not amenable to the ideas or suggestions, are they disregarded because of their sexuality? This is the environment I have been exposed to as far as I can remember.

I know someone who is a mother, she was a career woman but there was a point when she had to leave her career for her family. Now she ended up suffering from dementia. A woman who was intellectual, street smart, fast thinker, the go-to of the clan. Now, she needs her children's assistance to dress her up, feed her, clean and put her to sleep. Sadly, she could not communicate through words and her memories had deteriorated. As per her doctor, one of the many causes of dementia is an abrupt stop of using your brains. When you suddenly stop your active lifestyle. In her case, she used to be a wide reader, for unexplained reasons, she just lost it. Her novel books are now left rustic in the book shelves.

She is a woman and expected to give up her career for her family. I am not saying that women should be selfish, my concern is, are women limited to what male perceive them to be. Like you will study in elementary, secondary and college to end up a housewife?

Was it her choice to leave her career? According to her, she was persuaded to sacrifice her flourishing job for her children. Women are expected to make such a surrender, why is it due to the fact that they are women? When things are the opposite in terms of male species. I am fully aware that in this day and age, both married couples have to make a living in order to survive and save the family from starvation. However, reality bites, it has been different to the rest of us.

I have a friend who got married. Definitely, she is content but it is inevitable to complain about some things. According to her, she does everything in the house. She manages the household chores, the children and she gets blamed when things go south. It is instant that the fingers will point at her. Whatever happens to due process. Why, because she is the mother and mother is a woman so the blame is on them instantaneously.

What about those single parents? At work, fellow workers will jump to the conclusion that there is probably something wrong with her because she is married or has no man behind her motherhood. Honesty! Have you ever heard of this woman? Do you even have the iota of information about her? We do not know the rationale behind what happened to her so why do men judge her easily? Without you even realizing it was the man who brought her into this status for God knows what. So blame your fellow species. She is an easy target for apparent reason. This is a menace that has been consuming society for thousands of years.

I reckon when I was in my preteen, I witnessed my aunt forced into a marriage where she had no say. Take note, in spite of having a college degree. Her opinion did not matter because everything had already been decided by her father. Unfortunately, she ended up marrying the man whom she had never met before. Neither have gotten acquainted before. Yes, It did happen in our society. I still vividly remember that after the sad ceremony, the married couple were locked in a room. After a few minutes,I heard my aunt screaming then she stopped. I was looking at the door and thought to myself, "my poor aunt, she was forced into the marriage and even consumated the marriage under duress". Fast forward, she brings home the bacon and is able to provide financial assistance to the education of their children. She had done it alone.

Another aunt of mine was again left with no choice but to marry a man that she never knew from adam. I have witnessed her scream, her violent ( yes!) reactions against the arranged marriage, I thought she turned mad, she was even cursing everybody in the room. There was a plan of escaping or wanting to leave the house but my uncles and my step grandfather were on guard. Until the unfortunate event materialized.

We can see these pressing issues around the world particularly in rural areas from different parts of the world. Women are being sold at a tender age because the family can no longer feed them.

In my family, all of your movements are restricted by the rules of men around you. You cannot do this, you are prohibited to do that or you are not allowed to go to that place. like as if your goal is to destroy yourself. Come on! However, these men have all the freedom to do whatever they please. Go anywhere they want. Do whatever they wish but women are expected to behave accordingly - without a voice. If you start to voice your opinion on something you will be shut down for being opinionated.

Last time I checked we are human beings too. Therefore it is natural that we have a sense self- preservation. We do things with precautionary measures, precisely, to protect ourselves. We know the consequences of our actions.

In school, I don't understand why men objectify women by cracking jokes at the expense of women and they laugh it off. Like they have a universal language that they themselves can only understand. Be wary of your choice of clothes otherwise men will base their opinion upon it, because; you will be classified by what you wear.

One time, I was walking my way home, and suddenly a truck passed by with construction workers in it, they whistled and cat called me. I looked upon myself to double check if there was a hole in my blouse or was I wearing revealing clothes. But, I was wearing a school uniform. Our school uniform was composed of blouses and pants. So, I wonder what drove those men to do disrespectful behavior when I was just a young lady and had decent clothes on. Was it because, it's human nature for those men to react that way whenever they encounter opposite s*x, regardless of what kind of apparel she is wearing?

In a working environment, mostly women have no voice particularly in a kind of business dominated by men. If you show your strength you will be classified as intimidating and bitter. If you let them discover your sensitivity then you are a weak creature. Also, I don't understand the insecurities of male species. When women value power or intelligence, men tend to create a narrative that this woman has no life, or even has an attitude problem. Why can't they accept that women can also rule and lead men. All this time I thought it was a challenge to work with women. However reality bites, it is more excruciatingly difficult to work with men because you have to deal with their egos. Moreover, when men give their opinion it is automatically credited to their masculinity and they are someone to look up to. But when a woman does it- she is bossy! In addition, when you are conservative they will tell everyone that you are an uptight or man hater. Then if you let your end be heard, by operation of law, it will be at your disadvantage for a reason being that you will be treated as a rebel or difficult to handle.

Just yesterday, I was in a private hire car service, while on a road, a driver recklessly cut us off in front. Your guess is as good as mine, the comment of my driver said "she is probably a female driver". Of course, you expect to react and I told him that I drive too and I never had any traffic violation. I also stressed that cab drivers are known to be reckless, particularly in the Philippines, and 99.9 are all men. So he agreed and changed his statement by saying, "the driver must be probably a new driver". There, thank you mister cab driver for recognizing your mistake and acknowledging by changing your statement. How we wish there are plenty of you in this mundane. Going back to the point, because there is this reckless driver the initial comment is being referred to female drivers? Double standards still exist.

Another thing to stress is how men play the field and women have always been their victim. I have witnessed women close to me, one is my best friend, cousins, or relatives or acquaintances.

Maybe I can narrate about my best friend, who I refuse to divulge her name, of course. Let us go back to the past way back in highschool. Her beauty stands out. You see beautiful faces but hers is separate and distinct. Therefore, boys go crazy over her. I am proud of her, always. However, boys tend to play around. They try to test girls with her kind whether she is an easy target. See that is what I don't understand. Why do men immediately test the water and assume that a girl with her god given gift is easy? Again, it is a way of objectifying women. Sometimes, I wonder, maybe it is the way of men to overcome their insecurities. They tend to get intimidated by girls or women, for that matter, simply because the latter is pretty. In effect, men will find a way to discover the weakness so that women will fall on their feet. Come on! Why can't they accept the fact that there are women who are beautiful, respectful and decent all at the same time. Period!

There is one issue about women having a high standard. What is wrong with setting standards? It is natural that men will do something to catch your attention but if you do not bother to look, immediately, will they be considered as a woman with high preference? Can't they just accept that the girl is just not into him, accept it and move on. Is it necessary to leave a negative comment about her? That is just loose-fitting.

Again, double standards are absolutely common in a working environment. So start with the meet and greet of your fellow workers. Then there comes the sizing up. Once they discover that you are far more intelligent than them - you are a tramp. Or, they will give adjectives behind your back. Is this necessary, boys?! Do you expect women to lower their intelligence quotient to level with your tiny little brain? Do you really expect women with such gifts to be a no-brainer so men can be proud and credit it to their egos? Is it women's fault that they are far more intellectual than you?

As cliche as it sounds, why do women always end up being housewife material. In our society, when men want to settle down they look for the ones that are housewife material? What does that even mean? You should be reminded that women manage the house, the children and the husband. These are not possible if the wife is brainless. It takes to be street smart, quick thinker and a fast learner to manage your kids and handle domestic issues. A woman with a strong personality and intelligence is an asset.

Moreover, there is this infuriating story about a girl who gives up easily on a man's tramp. Afterwards, she is history. Then the man moved on to another victim. What are we? What I know is that women were created in this world to keep men company. But this had been overvalued by men. Women are a gift from God. Care and look after them.

There is one true story that I want to share about a friend who was abandoned by her husband. Without knowing the truth people began to think of their own versions of conclusions; one thought that my friend is a nagger, others found her as the problem, there was this one asking whether my friend was cooking because as per this person, a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. What?I honestly do not see the connection. All of these are so shallow for there is an absence of evidence. Why do we immediately think that it was her fault? Have we witnessed their everyday routine. Do we have a basis for leaving her? Were we present to their lives 24/7? Why don't we turn the table on the men for a change. Yes, why not him? Has he not done anything wrong? Has invincible or untouchable or saint maybe. Is he not capable of committing mistakes or maybe because he is a man. We live in a narrative that women are the "lights of the home" and men are the, the pillar of the home". However, society usually concludes that if things go south it is the woman's fault for obvious reasons that she is expected to keep her family together. We have to keep in mind that men are the strength of women and women are the reflection of men. We often forget that if the pillar is weak, the home becomes useless as there is nothing to keep the home together. Therefore, before we judge the wife, why don't we see or check what happened to the husband. I mean if we are going to stick our noses into their business why not do it right.

We all know that women are naturally submissive. Even if she has the best career, epitome of strong sense of self or even independence, she is willing to give everything up for the family. That is the reason why she married the husband, correct? Now, before we size up the wife, why don't we investigate the things the husband does outside work or home. Why are you not pointing the finger at him. Let us also judge the husband. Maybe he cheated on her due to the fact that their means are doing well so much so that it got into his head, and it turned out he thought he could rule the world. Money can buy everything. Why don't we conclude that perhaps the man, as I have said earlier, cheated on the wife, and because the wife is the "light of the home" forgave the husband. Then little did we know the husband had done it again, he cheated on the wife for the second time. Anyway, he can get away with it because the wife is forgiving. But we have to realize that patience can wear thin. After all, women are human too. In spite of endless effort to keep the family together, it is the husband who is no longer maintaining the pillars together. What is the effect on the wife- she will break down. Of course. are expecting for the wife to put on a face and just move on. Suck everything in and pretend that there is nothing. She has feelings too. She has emotions,she gets hurt, she gets burned out. There could be a thousand possibilities. But we have to remind ourselves that the blame should not be on the wife alone.

It is difficult for me to absorb whenever a woman is career oriented. Men will consider her as cynic or have issues with sexuality, not be sexist, my point is women get this treatment when she showcases empowerment that men find it difficult to handle. For apparent reason that she does things that run counter to the norms. The expectations dictated by society.

Are women supposed to live their lives according to what the society dictates. Get married, give up your career, be a good housewife, learn to cook otherwise you are useless, and whatever happens be submissive to your husband. Seems like the woman has no right to perceive, unable to perceive or just absorb everything until she gets numbed. Afterwards, continue to be submissive. Are these fair?

Then let us go to the life of a married couple. Why is it that only the women are expected to do the chores; cook, clean, care for the children. Husband should also cook. My question again is why are these accrues to women only? Whatever happens to equality amongst sexes.

My observation in our house and in other homes, women work 24/7. They wake up, make breakfast for the husband and kids, clean the house afterwards. If the kids go to school, that adds up to the chores of the wife. She also prepares food for their lunch and breaks. So she brings the kids to school and fetches them. When reaches home, she has to assist the children to clean themselves, feed them and help with their homeworks. Not to mention that she has to cook again for the husband when gets home. Her job doesn't end there since after feeding the husband she has to tie things up. When the husband goes home he will just eat and rest. I have witnessed that they even complain about stuff without expressing first how they appreciate the wives for caring for the home.

In addition to what I have just expounded I am going to connect it to the working moms. So it is given that she does those things. She works on the premise that the income of the husband is not enough to support the family. What I observed about my friends, it is only the wife who juggles everything. The work and household chores but the men will rest after work. Is this equality?

Once, the wife or woman voices out or even expresses her feelings that is when things go south. Like the woman or the wife becomes a nagger or brings a negative vibe to the family. The husband will start looking for a quick escape and in the end the blame will be on the wife.

I know it is the year 2021, but unfortunately, events like this still exist. Men think they rule the world and women are not equal to them.

So much for equality.