Ashes & Roses

Chapter 5

Carsin Saint Clair

'Sin'

The car burned quietly in the distance, flames crawling higher into the darkness as smoke disappeared into the night sky.I stood several yards away, my hands buried inside the pockets of my black hoodie. Dark jeans hung low on my hips, the sleeves pushed slightly up my forearms. A cigarette rested between my fingers, the ember glowing briefly each time I took a drag. Beside me, Luca stared at the flames. Neither of us spoke for several seconds. The remote stretch of land around us was almost completely silent. No streetlights. No traffic. No witnesses. Nothing but the crackling of the fire and the occasional shift of gravel beneath our shoes. Luca finally exhaled.

"I don't think we should've helped Zaelen." Luca's voice carried a trace of conflict, but I didn't look at him. My eyes stayed on the burning vehicle, watching the fire eat through what was left of it like it had been waiting for this moment. The flames reflected faintly in my vision, but my expression didn't change. I took another drag from my cigarette, holding the smoke in my lungs for a moment before slowly letting it escape into the cold air.

"It's not like I had much of a choice, now did I?" I said coldly. Luca glanced at me, like he was waiting for something more some kind of explanation, or maybe even doubt.

"You always have a choice."

My jaw tightened slightly at that, but I didn't respond right away. I didn't want to say something I'd regret but I disliked when I was questioned about anything I do. Out here, with nothing but firelight and silence, it was easy for people to believe in choices. Easy to pretend things were simple. Right or wrong. Stay or walk away.The decision had already been made the moment Zaelen called. The moment he made it clear there wasn't really an option. Whatever happened next wasn't something I could undo, and it sure as hell wasn't something I was going to pretend I wasn't part of. I flicked the ash from my cigarette and watched it disappear into the dirt. Zaelen had a way of making problems belong to everyone except himself, and somehow, I always ended up cleaning up the mess. I took another drag, letting the smoke settle heavy in my chest before exhaling slowly. Tonight was no different. I took one last drag from my cigarette before letting it fall from my fingers. The small ember disappeared beneath my boot. I turned away from the burning car and started toward the trees and Luca followed. Neither of us spoke as we left the clearing behind. The orange glow of the flames stretched between the trees, growing dimmer with every step until the forest swallowed it completely.The ground softened beneath our boots, damp leaves crunching quietly beneath us. Branches shifted overhead, brushing against one another whenever the wind moved through the canopy. I kept my hands buried inside my hoodie. Luca walked beside me, quiet for a while.

"You think Zaelen's going to be happy?" He asked lowly.

"I don't care if he isn't." I spat. He glanced at me and nodded faintly.

"I figured" Luca smiled and shook his head, slightly amused. We continued walking in silence. He didn't ask anything else. The path continued through the trees, the darkness gradually giving way to the faint glow of the road ahead. Neither of us needed to talk about where we were going next. The party was tonight. We'd be there. Not for the music. Not for the drinks. Not for the people. We had unfinished business with Zaelen and that was enough. We stepped through the last line of trees and onto the roadside. Our cars were parked a short distance away. Luca headed toward his without saying anything and I walked toward mine. The forest behind us had already disappeared into darkness. I unlocked my door and pulled it open.Luca glanced over before getting into his own car.

"I'll see you there" Luca said loudly over the sound of the ruffling trees, the wind picked up, the smell of smoke from the burning car still tickled my nostrils. I nodded once.

"Yeah."

He shut his door. I got into mine and started the engine before swiftly driving off. The drive back into town was quiet. I kept one hand on the steering wheel while the other rested against thigh. The forest disappeared behind me, replaced by stretches of empty road and the occasional glow of a streetlamp. By the time I pulled into the lot behind the shop, the day was completely consumed by the night. I killed the engine and sat there for a moment, staring through the windshield at the building. The shop took up the entire ground floor, its large garage doors closed for the night. The brick exterior was old, darker in some places where years of weather had worn against it. Above it, the rest of the building disappeared into the darkness, floor after floor of windows reflecting almost nothing from the street. I grabbed my keys and stepped out of the car. The night air was colder than it had been earlier. I locked the car behind me before heading toward the back entrance. The moment I stepped inside, the familiar smell of oil, rubber, and metal settled around me. My eyes moved across the garage first. The bays were empty. The equipment was where it belonged. Tools had been returned to their places, and nothing had been left lying around where someone could trip over it in the morning. I walked toward the first bay and checked the lift. Locked. I moved toward the side entrance and tested the handle. Secure. Then the back door. Locked. I checked the office last. The lights were off, the computer shut down, and the paperwork I'd left earlier was still stacked neatly across the desk. Everything was exactly where it should be. I turned off the last light. The garage disappeared into darkness. I locked the office before making my way toward the stairs. The second floor was quieter than the garage below. My office sat at the front of the building, overlooking the shop through a wide interior window. From the desk, I could see almost the entire garage floor. My father had installed the window years ago because he liked being able to watch the mechanics without having to stand downstairs.

There wasn't much else in the office. A worn out back desk. Definitely overdue for a new one. Two leather chairs that has been picked at and scratched on for God knows how long. A densely packed filing cabinet and few shelves. Nothing personal..nothing that needed to be. I walked past it and continued upstairs. The third floor was the gym. I flicked on the lights as I passed through, more out of habit than necessity. The room was exactly how I'd left it. Weights lined one wall. A punching bag hung near the far corner. A bench sat beneath the windows, and the treadmill faced the opposite wall. I didn't stop, there was no reason to tonight. I turned off the lights and continued toward the fourth floor. My apartment. The moment I opened the door, something small and furry appeared from the hallway.

Cinnamon.

He stopped directly in front of my boots and stared up at me. I looked down at him.

"You're awake." I sighed softly, forgetting about the treats I promised to buy him. He meowed blinking slowly at me. I shut the door behind me.

"I know." Another meow from him, I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Treats tomorrow" I crossed my arms over my chest and challenged Cinnamon's authority. He turned and walked toward the kitchen, looking back over his shoulder as if he expected me to follow. I sighed "Of course." I followed him. Cinnamon sat beside his bowl and looked up at me.

"You already ate." He blinked at me. I crouched down and checked anyway and it was empty. I stood again.

"Fine, but no more for the rest of the day." I filled his bowl, and he immediately started eating. I leaned against the counter and watched him. For someone so small, he had an impressive ability to make himself the center of everything. He finished eating and rubbed against my ankle before wandering toward the living room. The apartment was quiet. Dark furniture. Exposed brick. Bare walls. Nothing excessive. It was comfortable enough. I just didn't spend much time here. Cinnamon jumped onto the couch, clearly considering it his territory, and curled himself into the corner like he'd been waiting all evening for me to come home. I checked the time and it was still early.

I walked into my bedroom and changed out of the smoke marinated clothes. Black shirt, dark jeans, black leather boots and a watch. Nothing complicated or eye catching, I wanted to move through the potential crowd effortlessly and without drawing attention. When I returned to the living room, Cinnamon lifted his head.

"I'll be back later." He stared at me. Cinnamon's tail flicked against the couch. I paused at the door scanning the apartment one last time and before stepping into the hallway and pulled the door shut behind me. I made my way back down through the building, checking the locks one final time as I passed through the office and garage. It was a habit. One I wasn't sure was necessary anymore, but I did it anyway. I stepped outside, the lot was quiet. My car waited beneath the security light. I unlocked it and got behind the wheel. Tonight wasn't about the party, it was about Zaelen, and once that was handled, I'd leave.