The first

Beginning

Waking up now is war, I feel like I'm living a life that is not mine a life that's feeled of pain and loneliness. I rub my eye and finally get of my bed, I really don't know why I have to go to school I said to myself while laying my bed. I went to the shower to get ready for school. When I was done getting ready I remembered what my mum said keep yourself my child you belong to someone and you need to be fit and okay. Whenever I remember does words I feel a sense of anger and sadness at the same time, like why will you sell your child before she is even born to someone that she doesn't even know and whenever I bring the topic up she just shrogs like she didn't sell her child, sometimes I wish my dad was still alive. I shock my head and packed my bag and headed off to school. First day of college I'm meant to be excited but I'm not like not at all. I don't know if I'm the only girl who forgets to look in the mirror, I finally found a mirror and I looked at myself I was wearing a black crop top with a blue baggy Jean and a black and white air Jordan's I packed my braids in a high pony tail. As usual I got to class very late, let's just say I missed half of the lecture. I hurried to my set sat down and started penning down most of the things the lecturer said. Honestly I feel like school isn't for me. I'm smart and I know but at the same time I find no purpose and fulfilment in it. it's just like and extra burned added to me and it's annoying. Finally the first class was over I didn't have class still 4 so I had a lot of time to explore the school. If you don't know by now I'm on scholarship. I was walking in the hall way my mind just wondered away to all I heard about the school before coming, oh it's a school for the rich oh only the best of the best get into the School. I'm I proud of myself for getting in no I still feel stupid I always feel stupid. As I was lost in thought I hit someone you expect a poor girl on scholarship to quickly apologize and move on but I didn't I eyed the person and walked away. I'm not about to start bowing down to anyone here. Did I look at the person I hit no I didn't. The main reason I'm like this is because I grew up in the broken family like really broken and it's really not the best. I have lot of demons I'm fighting and it keeps me up at night and it scares me. I kept walking round the school and for a fact the school is massive but we're I come from school are bigger but I can always mange. I was feeling a bit hungry I started looking for were I can get something to eat. I really don't like the food here so Im looking for an African based restaurant. Who the hell adds sugar and honey to rice. White people do amaze me they cook and eat a lot of weird s**t. I finally found one and I ordered jellof rice and chicken, I may be poor but I will always find money to eat good food. The food was finally ready i started eating and a white girl came to me. She asked the most stupid questions ever why is the rice your eating reddish. I was so shocked and as a nice person I was I offered her a spoon to taste. In my mind I thought she wouldn't eat it but she did and that was when the first tragedy happened, after a minute or so she fell to the ground. I thought she was just joking but her face started turning red. The waiters came to us and asked me what happened I was so scared. I told them she took a spoon of the rice that was when she fell they called the ambulance. They took her and one of the waitress told me that she may be allergic to pepper that's why she fell I was still so scared. I sat on the chair and all my past came to me. That's when the panic attack started, I woke up in the hospital with a drip on my hand. For someone that doesn't have money Im in the hospital a lot. I saw the same waitress sitting on the chair beside the bed looking so worried, I finally sat up then she sat on the bed with me telling me everything was going to be fine for someone I just meet she has really been nice to me. She gave me water and told me to relax. After a while I was discharged and yes I missed my last class. I asked the waitress for her name and she told me her name is Mitchell. You all may be wondering my name my name is Angelina do I know wat it means yes I do it means Angel do u behave like an Angel no I do not. Mitchell offered that I stay at her place I accepted because after this whole drama I wasn't sleeping on my own. We got in her car she had a white Toyota car with black tilted glass. We got to our destination Mitchell's house for a waitress her house cleans up nicely. I didn't want to ask how she got the money to get this house but my expression said it all. She told me except from the waitress job she does she works online. We entered inside and she asked if I wanted to sleep on her bed with her, before she could give the other option I nooded my head in agreement