Steve and I have been summoned to Mum and Dad’s house. Things couldn’t look more serious if we were heading to court on charges of indecent exposure.
When I arrive, Steve is in the kitchen with Mum. It’s almost comical; Mum is five foot and a peanut and about seven stone wet through, Steve is six foot and about thirteen stone of muscle with biceps like pop eye – he looks terrified.
“It was Emma’s idea,” he protests. “She said she’d seen you at a hotel with a man and just knew you were having an affair.”
Mum looks up and scowls. “Oh look. And here is the master s**t stirrer.”
“I’m sorry, Mum,” I mutter. There honestly doesn’t seem much point in saying anything else.
“Sit down!” She instructs. I obediently find a chair and catch Steve’s eye. He doesn’t look any closer to putting this
