“STEVE!! WAKE UP, STEPHEN! YOU LAZY PRAT. WAKE UP, WILL YOU?”
I’m standing outside of my brother’s semi detached house, throwing flower buds at his bedroom window. “STEVE, THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT. PLEASE LET ME IN.”
He surfaces like a hibernating bear, “What do you want?” He says grumpily as he emerges from behind the curtain. His neighbours are treated to a view of his naked upper half which is an alarming shade of burnt reddish orange. He’s clearly fallen to sleep on the sun bed again.
Fixing his boxers, he opens his window and scowls down at me. “Seriously, what the actual f**k?”
“Please open the door,” I reply urgently. “This is important.”
“It can’t be more important than me getting some sleep,” he grumbles.
“It’s only six pm,” I tell him exasperated. “Who bloody sleeps at t
