Black Beetles in Amber

A Celebrated Case

Way down in the Boom Belt lived Mrs. Roselle;

A person named Petrie, he lived there as well;

But Mr. Roselle he resided away--

Sing tooral iooral iooral iay.

Once Mrs. Roselle in her room was alone:

The flesh of her flesh and the bone of her bone

Neglected the wife of his bosom to woo--

Sing tooral iooral iooral ioo.

Then Petrie, her lover, appeared at the door,

Remarking: "My dear; I don't love you no more."

"That's awfully rough," said the lady, "on me--

Sing tooral iooral iooral iee."

"Come in, Mr. Petrie," she added, "pray do:

Although you don't love me no more, I love you.

Sit down while I spray you with vitriol now--

Sing tooral iooral iooral iow."

Said Petrie: "That liquid I know won't agree

With my beauty, and then you'll no longer love me;

So spray and be "--O, what a word he did say!--

Sing tooral iooral iooral iay.

She deluged his head and continued to pour

Till his bonny blue eyes, like his love, were no more.

It was seldom he got such a hearty shampoo--

Sing tooral iooral iooral ioo.

Then Petrie he rose and said: "Mrs. Roselle,

I have an engagement and bid you farewell."

"You see," she began to explain--but not he!--

Sing tooral, iooral, iooral iee.

The Sheriff he came and he offered his arm,

Saying, "Sorry I am for disturbin' you, marm,

But business is business." Said she, "So they say--

Sing tooral, iooral, iooral iay."

The Judge on the bench he looked awfully stern;

The District Attorney began to attorn;

The witnesses lied and the lawyers--O my!--

Sing tooral, iooral, iooral iyi.

The chap that defended her said: "It's our claim

That he loved us no longer and told us the same.

What else than we did could we decently do?--

Sing tooral, iooral, iooral ioo."

The District Attorney, sarcastic, replied:

"We loved you no longer--that can't be denied.

Not having no eyes we may dote on you now--

Sing tooral, iooral, iooral iow."

The prisoner wept to entoken her fears;

The sockets of Petrie were flooded with tears.

O heaven-born Sympathy, bully for you!--

Sing tooral, iooral, iooral ioo.

Four jurors considered the prisoner mad,

And four thought her victim uncommonly bad,

And four that the acid was all in his eye--

Sing rum tiddy iddity iddity hi.