The Moon’s Shadow

History’s shadow

A sweet and soothing voice filled my ears calming my troubled heart. Light fingers gently traced over my face, my eyebrows, down my nose, and up my jawline. Flitting my eyes open, I saw the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was grace personified with a natural beauty that put the surrounding flowers to shame. Even in the shade of the cherry blossom tree, she seemed ethereal, almost unreal.

She was dressed in a soft pink sundress that accentuated her long slim form. I couldn’t help but snuggle my face into the soft fabric inhaling her soothing scent. Long soft blonde hair framed her face as I gazed up at her. Her emerald eyes twinkled full of mirth and mischief until she noticed my distress.

“Bad dream lovey?”She cooed down to me. “ Yes mommy Jane. The bad lady was chasing me again.”I sniffled and sobbed. Rubbing the tears from my eyes with my tiny fists, I sought comfort in her warm embrace. She held me close and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“ Don’t worry baby. Mommy and daddy would never let anyone hurt you.” She reassured me petting my head. Each stroke of my head was gentle and warm, chasing my nightmares away. I could feel myself calming and suddenly hiccuped. I jumped in surprise and looked at her to see her reaction. A wide smile transformed her face followed by fits of laughter from both of us. Her giggles were infectious making me want to laugh too. My little heart was filled to the brim with love and joy. I smiled till my cheeks hurt, happy knowing I was the reason my mommy smiled. If only it were to last.

“ Mommy Jane? What is that?” I could hear a rustling in the bushes close to us. Terrified, I clung to her bicep searching for safety. I could feel her muscles tense as she searched from side to side trying to identify the noise. She was on high alert when she got up from the grass slowly and quietly. Crouched moving slowly, she turned and whispered “ Stay here Amber.”

I could tell by the look on her face she was scared, so I stayed put, not making a sound. I stood up under the tree and watched her lithe form slowly stalk towards the bushes. She was very careful to miss any branches or leaves that could give her position away. Just as she reached the bushes, mommy Jane was tackled to the ground by a gray mangy wolf snarling over her prone form. Looking at me one last time, she screamed hysterically for me to run. My heart was beating out of my chest as I watched in horror. Her attacker gave no mercy, going straight for her throat. Clenching its jaws around her neck, I heard the most sickening crunch as he bit down. Blood gushed down her neck and pooled on the ground, coating the wolf’s fangs in crimson. Mommy’s eyes dulled and her light faded to a muted gray. Her body began to disintegrate into ash floating away with the wind. I fell to my knees in pain and disbelief. In the matter of seconds, my mommy was gone. Torn away from me forever.

I felt my heart rip from my chest and the tears blurred my vision. A sob ripped from my small crumpled form. It was then the feral wolf turned to notice me and I screamed.

“Amber wake up. Wake up!” I heard a deep voice say. He was shaking me, jolting me from my nightmares. Prying my eyes open, I gasped for breath. My heart felt like it would break through my rib cage at any moment. I could feel the tears freely flowing down my face. I just couldn’t shake the panic from my mind till I felt the warmth of my brother’s hands grabbing my face. Holding my gaze so he was all I could see, Michael started inhaling deeply through his nose and exhaled in stead slow breaths. He did this several times before I began to mimic him. The painful pounding in my chest slowed to a dull ache and the panic ebbed.

Finally seeing I was calm, Michael released my face to look me over. Pulling a simple black folding chair in front of the hospital bed, he lowered himself down to look me in the eyes. “ I thought the nightmares were getting better.” Michael stated accusingly. Releasing a deep sigh, I looked for the right words to end this conversation quickly.

“ They were, but I don’t think I will ever stop having nightmares. They are getting to be too many to count and mom can’t chase them away anymore.” I ran my hands through my sweat drenched hair and released a shaky breath. “It’s the first time I’ve had an episode in 6 months. This s**t doesn’t just go away.” I spit harshly.

“ It wasn’t your fault. You know that. None of the things that happened to us were.”Michael looked at me tenderly yet stern. His green eyes haunted me as they were an exact mirror of hers. “ and mom wouldn’t have wanted you to blame yourself.”

“I don’t blame myself anymore, it’s just hard. Everything turned to s**t after we lost mom.” I sighed. The memory weighed deep on my heart. Still to this day there were moments I blamed myself for her death despite the unreasonableness of it. Not knowing what to do, Michael just shrugged helplessly and hugged me tight. I almost chastised him about my IV but I noticed it was gone. Looking out the window, I saw the sun setting behind the mountains. The beautiful pinks, oranges, and purples swirled across the sky in a breathtaking scene.

Wait! Sunset? What time is it? How long have I been in here????

Facing Michael, I asked him for the time. He grimaced with guilt when he replied “7:15”. Dang it! I shot him a withering glare knowing he didn’t wake me up on purpose.

“ Before you get upset, you needed the rest and Emma agrees with me. Besides, I took care of our visitors and Eric is still out. We can check on him after a bit. Emma wants to look you over before releasing you.” Michael protested in his bossy big brother voice..

“Fine.” I grumbled. Michael then turned to bring Emma back in to check me over. With the moment to myself, I checked on shadow to only be met with soft snores. Resigning myself to the need for rest, I slumped back on the bed waiting for their return. After a few minutes Emma and Michael sauntered into the room with Emma immediately coming to my side while Michael scurried to a corner to observe quietly. She checked my pulse and listened to my heart before deciding I was good to go. She gave me an exhausted smile and handed me my marching orders to check back in with her tomorrow and rest. I rolled my eyes hard at the instructions. You try to rest when you are taking care of a large pack.

Looking back at my brother, I motioned for us to leave but I was ignored. Michael was looking at Emma intensely, not even noticing me. He had this sorrowful look so full of longing, I couldn’t help but try to give him a little push. Quickly a plan formulated to give them more time together.

“ Long day doc?” I inquired innocently.3

“ Thanks to you, yes but I’m about to get off duty till tomorrow so it could be worse.” She joked and prodded at me. I laughed in response ignoring Michael’s questioning look.

“ Why don’t you have dinner with us then? You’ve been here, what 2 years and I don’t know too much about you. I’d like if we could be friends.” I confessed. She gives me a shocked and nervous expression, looking over to Michael for reassurance. In return he tried to shoot back a warm smile.

“ Yeah ok sure.” She replied uncomfortably but with haste. I felt guilt mar my features. Maybe I was putting on too much pressure.

“ If you want. If you’re too tired I understand. No pressure.” I amended, giving her an out.

Instead she looked up at me with a smile and shook her head “No no it’s not that. I’m just shocked is all. I’d love that.” She replied with a genuine smile. “I just have to finish my charting and we can go.”

“ Perfect. Sounds great!” I smiled back. Looking over I saw Michael sighing in defeat with sagging shoulders.

“ We just need to check on the visiting Alpha and we will meet you at the nurses station.” I informed her.

“ Great see you in a few.” Emma scampered off to finish filling out her charts.

I turned to Michael, daring him to object. To my relief he only gave me silence. It was about time he realized arguing with me is hopeless.

Hopping off of the bed, I steadied myself and decided it’s time to finish some business of my own. “ Let’s see a man about an alliance.”