a little obssesed

you are like rain

You are like RainYou ask me what I think about you.

I avert my eyes, my words and mouth failing me. Because I don’t have an explanation… I don’t have the right words to describe you.

No. What I see, what I feel are tones and vibrations too beautiful for words.

Your aura is a turquoise wave filled with specks of marigold and honey, vibrating in magnetic pulses all around you. It draws me in, pulls me close, ignites my curiosity… And my fears. A tempting cobalt blaze my hands are aching to touch, to embrace. Are you safe for me to give in to your gravity? Is your fire made of warming, inspiring energy?

Or will I simply be burned once again as I fall for the beauty of sparks and flames?

You are like rain. A constant cascade of life-giving water. I am calm in your presence, lost in the steady gaze of your hickory toned eyes. And so easily, I forget the pains of falling for someone. I forget the hidden bruises that I don’t want to show. Your attention, your sensitivity to my every move, pours down in tantalizing waves as if from the sky itself, sweet kisses from clouds to Earth. You are gentle and soft as you speak, as you watch me… as I watch you, enraptured by the capability of your storm.

So, no… there are no words to describe… how looking at you makes me feel as if I’m floating on tranquil thunderstorms…

I see you in colors that swirl in front of my eyes. I feel you in vibrations that pulse around my heart.

And your presence seems to take me… to another dimension… full of boundless possibilities.

I try to stay in the moment 

and enjoy all of you. 

When you catch me watching you, 

why are you being distant ? Absence may make hearts fonder.

But being away from you, not being able to see you, to touch you…

It makes my spirit ache against this icy winter.

I know where you are, yet it feels as though you have departed on an unspoken journey. I am anxiously waiting for you to return home. A helpless damsel is my role in this story. With bated breath, watching snow fall, I count the hours until you come back to me.

How peculiar it is… to think my home is incomplete without your presence warming the halls, without your soothing voice in my ears, without your reassuring arms around my waist.

Even though absence makes hearts grow fonder…

This abrasive winter filled with alabaster snow is too frigid to have your warmth absent.

This desiring heart is much too saddened from the daunting task of missing you.

you always ask “what?“ 

I can never really answer you. 

I’m just trying to soak all of you 

in before this moment fades .

i know we’re over. i know that the day will come when your face will fade from my memory, your fingers will stop touching my hips, and your lips will lift off of my neck and i will forget i ever wanted you to be mine. i know i will lock your secrets away deep inside of me and i know that one day, i’ll move on far enough to forget the color of your eyes and the way they burned into me. i know we’re over, but i can’t help but imagine what it would’ve been like to love you. if you would’ve let me. if you would’ve chosen me over her. if you could’ve understood that i prefer your face over the sunset any day. i imagine becoming so familiar with the electricity of your fingertips that they become the current of my own skin. i imagine getting used to loving you so much, and not just in the beginning. i imagine me wearing your sweaters and never having to remember the smell of your cologne because it’d always stick to my skin like a fresh memory. i imagine long car rides and midday naps and trips to the beach and your body tangled in my sheets. but i have to stop because i know we’re over, i know you chose her and there’s nothing i can do to change your mind or show you how it all could’ve been so different. it makes me sick to my stomach thinking of her body in your arms and her sitting in the passenger seat of your car, and i feel your hand on her thigh like a gunshot wound. because goodness, i know we’re over, but i never wanted to be.

and yes, i want to scream at you, and cry to you, and crumble into your arms and let you know that i was falling for you, the whole time, from the beginning right to the shitty end, there wasn’t a moment you weren’t on my mind. but you chose her. and even if i didn’t want things to turn out this way,i know i have to accept it. and from the bottom of my heart, although you hurt me, i hope you turn out okay. i hope your head becomes a kinder place and i hope you move away and do all the things you want to do and fall in love with all the right people. and i hope the same for myself. because i know that even though we’re over, life is just beginning