I felt good when he touched me. "I didn't!" "I didn't!" "I didn't like it!" "I hate it! I hate you!" I continued to cry as I felt extreme dislike and revulsion for myself to find this disgusting intimacy pleasurable. "I didn't like it.." I said as I leaned on the door, letting the tears fall down. I looked down and after a few seconds, I began to scratch where he touched me. I let out loud sobs of dejection. "I didn't like it." "I didn't like it." "I didn't like it." I repeated those words like a mantra so that they could give consolation to me but to no avail as I began to lacerate my shoulders and arms so that the feeling of being touched by him would be obliterated. “I don’t need your softness!” I continued to scratch until red marks were formed all over in my left shoulder

