Hallmark Moments

The Confession

Having a fight with Parker in the weekend didn't stop our charade for our peers. In fact, the kisses we shared in school and our interactions were more heated than it was before. We were grabbing every single opportunity to make out that I thought of it as a payable show. If every person were a dime, considering the people who watched us with fervour, we'd have been rich even before we hit our twenties.

Lucas came up to me on Wednesday and told me that the improvement in our relationship was so dramatic that he wanted a very big thank you from me. I laughed it off and pinched him on the cheeks.

Hayden even questioned me about our relationship. She was getting even more curious about it and she's speculating on the fact that we're over dramatising it, making it seem like we really were pretending. I was actually tempted to tell her about it just to spite Parker but I remembered that it was my fault that pushed Parker to overdo all this so I smiled and told her that it was Lucas' fault. That it was because of his annoying habit of asking questions that led Parker to kiss me in the first place and now he just can't take his paws off me. Hayden laughed at it and I couldn't help but sigh with relief. Damn…how is it that people can be so easily swayed by words?

To make matters worse, Mrs Rosdale told her husband about our relationship and I can hear him teasing his son day in day out.

For the whole week, the only time we were really able to talk was in the car but even then Parker would just close up and once we arrive home, I'll get out of the car and he'll shut the door on me and drive off somewhere.

I decided on Saturday afternoon that I couldn't stand this. This was added to the fact that I needed my best friend back.

So there I was, in front of Parker's bedroom door. Instead of knocking like I usually do, I just opened it and found Parker in bed making out with a girl with signature dark brown wavy hair. It was Josephine Randall.

My breath stuck in my throat, making me choke. Neither one was aware of my presence. Tears were already pooling in my eyes because of my constricted throat. I closed the door quietly and went downstairs, wiping my tears. Luckily no one was home so I got out of the house fairly easily.

My heart was beating really fast as I crossed the garage connecting both Parker's and my house.

Once inside the house, I ran right up the stairs into my room. My hands trembled as I fumbled with the lock on my door. When it seemed impossible to lock the door, I just slammed it shut and sat on my bed, collecting my breath, which was coming out in short gasps. Surprisingly, tears were still running down my cheeks.

I heard someone knock the door and it swung open, giving me a full view of Jonathan. 'Why you have to go round the house banging doors?' he said groggily. I would have screamed at him right then if I wasn't so busy trying to contain my tears. I turned around to face the window, my back facing him. 'You don't have to be a b***h to me, Camryn.'

I started crying harder, clutching my stomach as I doubled over. The first time in years that my brother talks to me and that was what he has to say? Am I that insignificant in his life?

As I contemplated in committing murder - homicide or suicide really is not the question at the moment - his arms snaked around my waist. I turned and struggled in his grip but it was strong so I ended up clutching and sobbing into his navy green sweatshirt. It was comforting to feel his hands go up and down my back as he made soothing sounds. Of course, this didn't stop questions running through my head. Why was he doing this? He hates me, doesn't he?

I finally stopped crying and he released me slowly so he could look at me. 'You look like shit.' He commented. A choked laughter escaped my throat and I pushed him away to wipe my face with the sleeves of my shirt.

'What's up?'

'Why do you care?'

'I'm your brother, dipshit.'

'That's exactly what I mean…you're calling me names and you care about my well-being?' I admit, I was a bit fed up. A bit? I must be exaggerating. And before he could even retort, I spat back at him. 'And why are you talking to me now? We haven't said so much as a word to each other ever since you decided that I was the spawn of all evil after I killed mom.'

Out of everything I imagined him doing, I didn't think he would hug me. It was disconcerting and very…welcomed. But it also started another fresh bout of tears.

'I'm sorry kid…I never meant to accuse you of it but…damn it I was too young to be motherless!'

'You weren't the only one you selfish bastard.' I growled into his sweatshirt. When he released me, his eyes were wet and teary.

'You have no idea how true that sentence is, do you?'

Sometimes, confusion can be a very deadly weapon against your enemy. That did not make any sense whatsoever of course…but still, it applies to the context.

'I'm not your real brother.'

There you have it…a stunner. Could this day get any worse? First I see my best friend making out with the person who has been the bane of my existence ever since I came to this s**t town and then I get insulted by my brother and now he's telling me that he's not my real brother?!

'I was adopted a little before you were born. I was already five when they adopted me. Mom adopted me because then, she had given a huge sum of charity to the orphanage I was in. My caretaker at the time told her how I ended up at the place.'

I'm not hearing this. I'm not.

'My birth mother died because my birth father killed her in a car accident. Rammed his car right into hers. Smashed her body bad. She was pregnant with my sister at the time and my dad wanted to get rid of her. Said I was a mistake enough why did she need another one.'

I didn't know exactly what happened but suddenly, Jonathan was in my arms sobbing silently. His body shook as I felt my shirt getting warmer and wetter by the minute. I propped him up higher so that he was crying on my shoulder and my hands were around his neck.

I then understood why he shut himself up after mom's death. It was because of me but it was also because he was supposed to have another younger sister but she died alongside his real mother. It was too much to take in but somehow, I accepted it as much as I accepted Jonathan in my heart at that moment. I also realised how much I had missed Jonathan throughout the years we didn't talk. He always used to be the one asking me to play with him when he wanted to go to the playground and he was always putting me to sleep at night and he was always the one sending me to pre-school when mom or dad couldn't.

I pulled him closer to me as tears rolled down my cheeks.

During dinner, Jonathan kept kicking my feet under the table every time I tried to steal off his plate like I used to when we were smaller. Tyler noticed but he didn't say anything about it, he just smiled and continued talking to Nadia, who had come over for dinner again. They were inseparable now.

Then dad asked why Parker wasn't there and I couldn't answer. I also felt like crying again when I remembered what had happened. I decided to just shrug and keep eating. I didn't know if dad got the message or not but he was silent after that.

Jonathan and I cleared the dishes away while Nadia, Tyler and dad sat in the living room with their tea. We were both quiet since we were still awkward with each other. Especially me since I only found out about him and everything.

After doing the dishes, Jonathan pulled me into the living room after everyone was gone. He started a fire and sat beside me on the couch facing the TV.

'You still haven't answered my question, what's up? Does it have anything to do with Parker?'

I was debating on whether to tell him. Part of me screamed to at least tell someone but another part of me told me to just shut up and not burden other people with my trivial problems. Another part of me was also screaming that this was all happening so sudden that I didn't want to complicate matters even further. I mean…I just found out that Jonathan was not my biological brother.

'Just because I'm not your real brother, doesn't mean I don't have the right to be protective over you, you know?' he said, almost as if reading my mind.

'Well…I don't want you to go all Bison over him. He's still my friend.'

'So it is about him.'

I shrugged. 'Yeah.'

'Care to catch me up on stuff?'

'To avoid this being a complete Hallmark moment, no.' I shook my head. Jonathan snickered and nudged my shoulder with his. 'It's a little too early and I still feel awkward with you not being my real brother and all.' I paused and a thought occurred to me and I had to ask. 'Does Tyler know?'

'Of course he does.'

'So as always, I'm the last person to know everything.'

'Don't be so dramatic, Cammie. We still love you. That's why we pretty much don't tell you stuff because we don't want to risk hurting you.'

'And the times I picked fights with you were those moments?'

'You've grown up to be very sarcastic.'

'That I have.'

'Seriously…tell me.'

I took a deep breath before I told him everything that has happened during the past month. He went livid when he found out about the pretend girlfriend thing that I had to kick him hard to stop him from screaming bloody murder. After I told him about us not even going further than kisses, he relaxed until he registered the fact that I had kissed Parker which awarded him another kick which shut him up immediately. Then, after I told him that I found Parker with Josephine, I had to guard the living room door for fear of him having the urge to leave the house that instant to give Parker more than a piece of his mind. Damn…I never thought talking to Jonathan could be so tiring.

When he was calm enough to look me in the eye, he asked me if I wanted him to smash Parker's face in. I shook my head and told him that it was my doing anyway so if he wanted to do any face smashing, it should be mine.

I then decided maybe I should just tell him everything to get it over and done with. I told him about Josephine and what she did to me and about Phoebe Daniels and even Lucas Adrian. Jonathan was relatively calm throughout everything and even gave me a hug and an apology for not being there for me through those hardships. Then he asked me if I wanted him to smash Josephine's face. It was tempting. I had to use every single cell in my body to attempt at shaking my head. It was very hard work.

It was almost three when we realised that our conversation was beginning to get stunted. We actually managed to squeeze in almost ten years of our lives into five whole hours. Pretty much every emotion we knew existed poured out of us; anger, happiness, sadness, empathy, jealousy and somehow, even love to name a few. The last emotion was from Jonathan on his love life and from me on him, dad and Tyler. He was actually shocked that I still wanted his approval of anything I did after he deliberately ignored me.

'Way to avoid the Hallmark moment, huh?' Jonathan said after a moment's silence. It was my turn to snicker but it turned into a yawn. He ruffled my hair before asking me to go to bed. I nodded sleepily and both of us trudged up the stairs.

'Hey, Camryn?' he called out when we were at our respective bedroom doors. I turned to look at him and saw a warm smile on his face. 'I'm sorry I never told you how much I loved you.'

I smiled as a tear slid down my face. Who knew my brother was a sweetheart?

'Goodnight, Jonathan. I guess I kinda love you too.'

'Night Cammie.'

Sunday morning woke me up with loud raps at the door. I jumped in bed, not realising I was almost at the edge, resulting in my falling off it. The back of my head hit my bedside table and I rubbed the sore spot before answering the door. Nadia was standing at the opposite side of the door with a beam of a smile. I couldn't help but smile back even though my back hurt and my head was spinning.

'My friends are coming in a few hours from Singapore and they want to meet you. They claim that they know you so well from the times I've told them about you.' Nadia sounded so excited. I'm flattered she even talks about me. 'So…we're picking them up from the airport and then we're going to the mall…'

I stopped listening to her after she said mall. Would it be rude of me to close the door on her and get back in bed and curse the living daylights of whoever constructed the mall? Fortunately, Tyler came to my rescue by steering Nadia away from my door.

'But I haven't told her about her bridesmaid's dress, Tyler!'

I cringed as I slammed the door shut. I made my way back to bed only to be roused out of it by another knock at the door. I sighed and answered the door and found Parker standing with his hands in his jeans pocket. I swept a lock of hair that had gone into my eyes and turned to go back to bed.

As I slid in the comforters, I felt Parker's weight push down the mattress. I refused to look at him for fear of having the urge to cry in front of him. I haven't done that for such a long time. I didn't want to risk having him see me in a vulnerable state anymore.

'In three more days, our deal's over.'

I grunted from under the sheets.

'I just want you to know that I appreciate what you've done for me the past month, being the perfect albeit pretend girlfriend.'

I grunted again, not trusting my mouth to conjure up words.

'But I think that we should just stop being friends as well as ending this farce.'

Did my heart just stop? Oh God, did he really say those words?

'You lied to me Camryn. You started our friendship off with a lie and you told me another lie.'

'You hypocritical asshole,' I pushed the comforters off me and jumped out of bed, backing away from it, just to get farther away from Parker. 'You never choose to tell me anything and just because I had to bend the truth a little you decide to break off an eleven year friendship?'

'At least I never lie to you, Camryn!'

'How the hell am I supposed to know how true that is?' I snapped back with a frown. 'I know you better than anyone else in this entire town. I know when you're happy and I know when you're sad and I definitely know when you're lying or telling the truth.' I took in a deep breath before continuing. 'You lied to me when you told me you were going on vacation that one week you were gone. You went for a medical check up and you were diagnosed with anaemia…do you know how hurt and surprised I was when your mom knocked on my door and told me about it? I mean…I had to hear it from her instead of it coming from you?'

'I had a good reason for that. I didn't want to worry you.'

'That's what friends do to each other, Parker! They worry each other! And of course that famous incident of when you lied to me about you auditioning for the school play only to have me find out that you were attending try-outs for the team?

'And do you remember when you lied to me in the fourth grade, about writing me that poem? God…you stole it from the internet for God's sake! And don't remind me of the fact that you lied to me about that hickey you got from Laine Turner in the seventh grade. Bumping into the door my ass.

'And of course…when exactly were you planning on telling me about making out with Josephine Randall?'

For the first time in history, I caught Parker completely off guard. 'How did you find out about that?' the stutter in his voice wounded me. He really didn't think that he would ever tell me about it. And even if he was going to tell me, it would be a really long time. Was that why he wanted to end our friendship? So he wouldn't be confronted by this?

'Does it really matter?' Suddenly I realised how tired I was. I was not only tired from finding about Jonathan last night but also from putting up a wall in front of Parker, suppressing my feelings about how I have been feeling for the entire month. 'Everything was a game for you from the start, Parker. Everything was an act. Of course you had to use me because you knew how well I was at acting that you disregard the fact that I might have actual feelings.'

'I never—'

'Shut up and let me talk because that's my role in this friendship we're about to end.' I didn't even sound harsh and I realised I was doing it because I was in my acting mood. In actual fact, I wanted to scream at him. 'Don't lie to me and tell me that you never thought of it that way Parker because you said it yourself. What was it? Oh…"Let's face it. Being second to the Ice Queen?" man…that really made my day.' I laughed bitterly.

'Maybe it is best for us to never be friends anymore. It's like we've lost everything we had in the beginning of our friendship. You used to talk to me about everything Parker.' My legs were getting wobbly but I had to tell him everything. Just let him know exactly how I feel before I end everything. 'What happened to the boy who told me that he liked the weird dark haired girl who was always in the world's face? Where is the boy who used to stand up to girls like Josephine Randall and Phoebe Daniels when they started insulting me?'

'I'm still here…'

Again, I laughed bitterly. 'All I see is someone who would literally drive off after being confronted with problems. You close up the moment I ask you something of substance. I gave you space. I gave you ample time to just tell me what you're really feeling but till today you never told me why you even wanted me to pretend to be your girlfriend. You never told me how you really felt about Josephine and Phoebe. Do you hate them because they're total bitches or was it just to appease me? I don't know, Parker because you never tell me anything!' My hands almost instinctively went up to my cheeks and I felt it was wet. I was doing the very thing I told myself not to. Well, I guess I'm not as good an actress I thought I was.

'Since we're going to end all this, I might as well tell you how I feel.' I braced myself for what I was going to say next. Seeing Parker look helpless on my bed made me sick for some reason so I concentrated on looking at the wall behind him and found a picture strip of the both of us. We took that when we were ten. It made me cry even more so I looked at the door instead.

'Camryn,' Parker was standing up and approaching me but I yelled at him to stay away from me. I could see the hurt flash in his eyes and for once, it didn't go away. It stayed there as he sat back on the bed. I blinked away the tears before continuing.

'When we shared that kiss at the lockers, I thought it would be compensated with another one I would get in the future by someone I cared about. And who cares for me back. But somehow, my heart jolted and I found that I enjoyed the kiss and it felt…it was indescribable.' I sniffed and looked down at the floor. 'The second kiss got me thinking…what the hell am I doing? I can't…I can't be falling for my best friend, can I? And then you started showing me the side of you that I used to love so much. And the more you showed me that side, the more I realised that I was falling for my best friend.

'Of course I tried hard to deny it. It was you for God's sake. But no…you had to kiss me again and you reassured the fact that I do like you, more than a friend.' I shook my head, wiping away my tears. 'You had to choose me didn't you? You had to see if I had feelings or not. You had to use me just so that I would be blubber in your hands, just as much as all the other girls in our school already are.'

I shook my head again and as softly as I could muster without it being a whisper, I told him that our friendship was over.

He left without a word and I released a long sigh I didn't know I was holding back.

Jonathan came barrelling in after his exit and bombarded me with questions. I shrugged him off and shakily sat on the floor. He joined me and pulled my head on to his shoulder. I took a deep breath before releasing it slowly.

'Whenever you need me.'

I couldn't help but smile at that. That used to be Tyler's role in my life. Being there when I needed him. 'Parker and I…we just ended our friendship because of one lie. One tiny lie that I know is not worth destroying an eleven year friendship. Nothing is supposed to be worth destroying our friendship, Jon.' before I knew it, the tears were rushing down my cheeks and soaking Jonathan's tee.

It was comforting to know that I have my second brother with me since my first would have his own family to think of soon. It didn't matter that Jonathan and I were not related by blood but still, blood is not necessary in bonds and relationships. I had been with Parker for eleven years. Granted that I had just finished it off only a few minutes ago but still, eleven years is a long time to be with someone. Regardless, I still had Jonathan to fall back on. And until he gets his own girlfriend, he will always be here for me. He's all that matters to me now.