Beneath his Scars

Chapter 11: The Space beside Me

Chapter 11: The Space Beside Me

By noon, Dr. Fiona Kennigton-Harper was running entirely on caffeine and determination.

The emergency department had been unusually busy all morning. A pileup on one of the highways outside the city had filled the hospital with patients, and every doctor seemed to be moving at double speed just to keep up.

Fiona hadn't had breakfast.

She hadn't had lunch.

And she was currently reviewing test results while walking down a corridor.

"Dr. Harper."

"Hmm?" she replied absently.

The nurse beside her frowned.

"When was the last time you ate?"

Fiona sighed.

"Why is everyone suddenly concerned about my eating habits?"

"Because it's three in the afternoon."

She blinked.

Three?

The nurse folded her arms.

"Go eat."

"I'll eat later."

"You said that at eleven."

"I mean it this time."

The nurse gave her a look.

Neither of them believed that.

Fiona laughed and continued toward her office.

Several minutes later, she finally pushed open the door and dropped into her chair.

The silence was wonderful.

For about ten seconds.

A knock sounded.

"Come in."

The door opened.

Fiona looked up.

And froze.

Lieutenant Colonel Kieran Grey Ashford stood in the doorway.

The sight of him still caught her off guard sometimes.

He looked significantly better than he had when he'd first arrived at the hospital weeks ago.

His wounds were healing.

The bruising had mostly faded.

He was standing straighter.

Stronger.

Still intimidating.

Still quiet.

Still frustratingly difficult to read.

But undeniably better.

"Lieutenant."

His gaze swept over her face.

"You look exhausted."

Fiona snorted.

"Good afternoon to you too."

"It's three in the afternoon."

"And?"

"You haven't eaten."

Her eyes narrowed.

"Who told you?"

"No one."

"You guessed?"

"It wasn't difficult."

She opened her mouth.

Then stopped.

Because he was holding a paper bag.

Her gaze dropped to it.

Then returned to him.

"What's that?"

"Food."

She stared.

For a moment she genuinely didn't know what to say.

Grey stepped inside and placed the bag on her desk.

"Eat."

The command was delivered with military precision.

Fiona burst out laughing.

"Did you just order me to eat?"

"Yes."

"You can't order me around."

"I'm aware."

"Then why did you say it like that?"

A flicker of amusement appeared in his eyes.

"It seemed effective."

To her annoyance, he wasn't entirely wrong.

She shook her head.

"You're impossible."

"So I've been told."

A smile tugged at her lips.

Again.

Lately that seemed to happen whenever he was around.

She opened the bag.

A sandwich.

Fruit.

A bottle of water.

Simple.

Thoughtful.

The warmth that spread through her chest was immediate and unsettling.

"Thank you."

Grey nodded once.

Then sat across from her desk.

Fiona took a bite.

Grey watched.

"You can stop supervising now."

"I'm making sure you eat."

"I am eating."

"Continue."

She rolled her eyes.

"Bossy."

The corner of his mouth twitched.

The conversation settled into an easy silence.

And that realization surprised her.

Easy.

When had things become easy between them?

When had she stopped feeling awkward around him?

When had she started looking forward to seeing him?

The thought made her uncomfortable.

Not because she disliked the answer.

Because she liked it a little too much.

A knock interrupted her thoughts.

"Come in."

The door opened.

"Mom?"

Fiona's entire expression softened.

"TJ."

The twelve-year-old stepped inside with his backpack hanging off one shoulder.

His smile was bright.

Until he noticed someone else in the office.

Then he stopped.

His eyes widened slightly.

Grey looked back at him.

For several seconds neither spoke.

Fiona suddenly felt like she was watching two people trying to figure each other out.

"TJ," she said, hiding a smile, "this is Lieutenant Colonel Kieran Grey Ashford."

TJ looked at Grey.

Really looked at him.

The scars.

The height.

The broad shoulders.

The military posture.

Then he looked back at his mother.

Then at Grey again.

"Wow."

Fiona groaned.

"TJ."

"What?"

"Be polite."

"I am being polite."

Grey's eyes held a faint trace of amusement.

"Hello, Theodore."

TJ frowned.

"How do you know my full name?"

Fiona nearly laughed.

"Your mother mentioned it."

"Oh."

The answer seemed to satisfy him instantly.

Then his gaze shifted to the sandwich on Fiona's desk.

"Mom."

"No."

"I didn't even say anything."

"You were about to ask for my sandwich."

TJ looked offended.

"I was going to ask if you were going to finish it."

"You were going to steal it."

"Maybe."

To Fiona's surprise, she noticed Grey looking away.

Almost as if he was hiding a smile.

That warm feeling returned.

Dangerously familiar now.

TJ dropped into a chair.

His curiosity clearly wasn't finished.

"So..."

Fiona pointed a warning finger.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"The thing you're about to do."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

The innocence was completely fake.

TJ looked directly at Grey.

"Are you really in the army?"

"British Army," Grey answered.

TJ's eyes widened.

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"That's so cool."

Fiona pinched the bridge of her nose.

Of course.

Of course her son would think that.

Grey looked mildly caught off guard.

As though he wasn't accustomed to being called cool by twelve-year-olds.

TJ leaned forward.

"Have you ever flown in a military helicopter?"

"Yes."

"What about airplanes?"

"Yes."

"Have you jumped out of one?"

"Once."

TJ practically bounced in his seat.

"No way."

Fiona laughed.

The excitement on her son's face was impossible to miss.

To her surprise, Grey answered every question patiently.

Not with long stories.

Just enough.

Enough to keep TJ interested.

Enough to make him smile.

Enough to reveal a side of himself Fiona rarely saw.

A softer side.

A gentler side.

A side that didn't seem nearly as guarded.

And Fiona couldn't stop watching.

Eventually TJ checked the time.

His eyes widened.

"I'm supposed to meet Grandma."

"Then you should go."

He stood quickly.

Before leaving, he hesitated.

Then looked at Grey.

"It was nice meeting you, Lieutenant."

Grey inclined his head.

"And you."

TJ shifted awkwardly.

"You can call me TJ."

For the first time all afternoon, Grey smiled.

A real smile.

Warm.

Genuine.

Rare.

"Very well, TJ."

The boy grinned.

Then disappeared into the hallway.

The office suddenly felt quieter.

Fiona stared at the closed door.

Then at Grey.

"You handled that surprisingly well."

Grey looked confused.

"Handled what?"

"My son."

A pause.

Then he shrugged.

"He's a good kid."

The pride that filled her chest was immediate.

"He is."

Something softened in Grey's expression.

Neither spoke for a moment.

The silence wasn't uncomfortable.

Not anymore.

Eventually Fiona glanced toward him.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You usually do."

She ignored that.

"What made you join the army?"

For a second she wondered if she'd pushed too far.

Then Grey looked toward the window.

Thinking.

Remembering.

"When I was twelve, my father took me to an air show."

Fiona listened carefully.

"There was a transport aircraft there."

A faint smile appeared.

"I remember thinking it was the biggest thing I'd ever seen."

Most people wouldn't have noticed the change in him.

She did.

His voice sounded lighter.

Less burdened.

"Most kids wanted to be athletes," he continued.

"You wanted to fly?"

"I wanted purpose."

The answer surprised her.

Grey looked out the window.

"I liked structure."

Fiona laughed softly.

"That sounds exactly like you."

A small smile appeared.

"The military gave me a place to belong."

The words lingered.

A place to belong.

For the first time she wasn't looking at Lieutenant Colonel Ashford.

She was looking at the boy he used to be.

The young man behind the rank.

Behind the medals.

Behind the scars.

And somehow that felt far more dangerous.

Because it made him real.

Their eyes met.

Neither looked away.

The moment stretched.

Longer than it should have.

Fiona suddenly became aware of details she normally ignored.

The scar near his jaw.

The strength in his features.

The green-grey color of his eyes.

The way he looked at her.

Steady.

Focused.

As though she was the only thing in the room.

Her pulse stumbled.

Grey noticed.

Of course he noticed.

One corner of his mouth lifted slightly.

Not quite a smile.

Enough to make her heart misbehave.

Embarrassed, she looked away first.

The silence that followed felt different.

Charged.

Neither acknowledged it.

Eventually Fiona glanced at the clock and stood.

"I have another patient."

Grey rose as well.

For a brief second they stood closer than usual.

Close enough that she noticed the clean scent of soap and aftershave.

Close enough that stepping back felt strangely disappointing.

"Thank you for the food."

"You're welcome."

"And for checking on me."

Something softened in his eyes.

"Someone has to."

The simple words settled deep inside her.

Somewhere she wasn't ready to examine.

Not yet.

Fiona gathered her chart.

"Good night, Lieutenant."

His gaze remained on her.

"Get some sleep, Doctor."

A smile appeared before she could stop it.

"You too."

Then she walked toward the door.

Into the hallway.

She didn't look back.

What she didn't see was Grey standing exactly where she'd left him.

Watching her disappear around the corner.

Watching several seconds longer than necessary.

Long enough for even him to notice.

And for the first time in a very long time, Lieutenant Colonel Kieran Grey Ashford found himself looking forward to tomorrow.