Intersex

Chapter 16.

The midst of November. The cool air swept through the streets, swirling the dry leaves that laid under the naked trees. It was below freezing and I had just gotten my winter coat out. The big, fluffy fabric hugged my body. A soft beanie sat atop my head.

The corridors were just as crowded as they normally were. I wasn't in a hurry and therefore slowly followed the lazy flow of tired college students. My coat hung loosely over my arm, it had been wise of me to take it off before I entered the narrow corridor. The reasoning behind this particular corridor was so narrow was because the school needed to build more bathrooms for both students and professors. The result was the long, ridiculously narrow corridor that led to the auditoriums. Whoever designed this university building who knows how long ago probably wouldn't be too pleased with what it had become. One time I heard some people call this corridor "the squeeze" and another time it had been called "the sardine walk". At one point I think I even heard it being called "the sweat queue". I assumed the last one came to be since people always had to stand in three or two lines to walk through the corridor. At most, the corridor could fit four people standing side by side with their shoulders touching. The worst part was the small wall mounted trash can that hung in the middle of the corridor. It always forced people to walk around it which ruined the three-lane flow of the corridor.

I heard someone complain about someone pushing them behind me but paid it no mind. Within seconds I was pulled into the janitor's closet. The same janitor's closet that Jayden had pulled me into a few weeks back. It was pitch black, just like last time and I reached around to find the light switch.

"Come on... Jayden not this bullshit again..." I whined. The door was locked behind me and I sighed. "Really?" I mumbled. "Do you realise how dizzy I get in here? It smells like chemicals..."

His large hands found their way to my stomach and he quickly let his hands roam over it. I felt his hands gently lifting my shirt and he placed his hand on my bare skin. He was cold. Jayden was never cold. How long had he been outside for?

"What's up with you?" I grumbled. It was quite uncomfortable to have his icy hands on my warm stomach and I squirmed in discomfort. "Why are you always so eager to touch it?" I growled at him and shooed his hands away. "I get that you wanna feel your baby but I have to get to class..." No one answered. The only sound that he let out was a broken sob and a quiet sniffle. "J-Jayden? Hello?" I reached out for the person in front of me and my hand landed on a hard chest. But it wasn't Jayden's hard chest. This person was skinnier than him. While Jayden had a fair amount of muscle, this person felt more like a flat board. "Turn the light on!" I whimpered. I cursed myself for the way I sounded. Anyone would've heard how scared I was.

The light flickered on with a clink and I blinked my eyes to give them time to adjust. I was trembling at that point. Jayden was the only one who had ever pulled me into a janitor's closet like this. Who else could've had the same idea? And... Why was that person so intent on touching all over my stomach?

"It's true..." Kennedy sniffled. My senses calmed a bit as I realised that the person who'd just been touching me wasn't a stranger.

"You f*****g scared me!" I spat and punched his arm harder than I should've. He yelped and took a step back so I wouldn't be able to reach him before he continued.

"I'm so sorry, Micah..." He stumbled over the words, trembled with nervousness and sweated. "I'm so sorry for what I said... I didn't mean it... I didn't have the guts to tell you cause Jayden's always following you around like a bodyguard..."

"So you snatched me on my way to class?" I growled.

"Sorry..."

"Kennedy, you called me a prostitute..." My voice was laced with poison, Kennedy could hear it, I could hear it. It honestly frightened me to hear my voice sounding so threatening. "You asked me why I slept with Jayden and not you?" My voice was growing more threatening with every word. "You looked at me as if I was an insect..."

"I'm so sorry, Micah..." He whispered, holding back tears. "I was just..."

"Jealous?" I growled. He looked down in guilt. "Yeah, I figured that much..."

"Why can't you see this from my side?!" He yelled. He pressed me back against the wall and slammed his fist against the wall next to my head. I flinched and drew deep, panicked breaths that hitched in my throat. The tears were inevitable. Goosebumps crawled over my body. "I've been in love with you for so f*****g long and what do you do?!" He took a deep breath and aggressively rubbed the tears out of his eyes. "You go after the first guy who flirts with you?! All he did was help you to the nurse's little resting room and you go falling at his feet? He just invited you to a party and suddenly you were head over heels..?"

He turned his back to me and rubbed away more tears that fell from his eyes. My heart sunk. I cradled my small bump and sunk down the wall as I started silently crying. "It's not... like that..." I sniffled.

"Years, Micah... I've been in love with you for years..." I held myself tightly, waiting for him to start yelling at me again. For some reason, his words hurt a lot more than I could've ever imagined. Of course, I knew that he was in love with me. He didn't exactly try to hide it. But I never returned his feelings. I had never returned anyone's feelings. I'd never been in a real relationship, never been sure what it felt like to be in love. It had always just been s*x. Nothing else. That was all I could give and all I wanted in return. No commitment, no responsibilities, no overwhelming emotions and nothing tying me to another person.

"You never said anything... If you had then I could've rejected you and everything would've been fine..."

"It doesn't work like that, Micah..." He huffed. "It's only ever been you..."

"What?" I looked up to see him crouched down in front of me. His face was close to mine.

"Don't you think I tried to date other people? Every time I'd kiss someone else your face would flash before my eyes and I'd feel guilty..."

I stayed silent as I stared into his brown eyes. He was staring straight into my soul. "Why me?" I whispered.

"Because I love you..."

"But why?"

"I don't know, Micah! You'd think I'd fall for someone who actually liked me back but nooo! It just had to be the most beautiful guy I'd ever seen... The prettiest one of them all... someone way out of my league..."

Jayden had called me the most beautiful too. I never saw myself as beautiful. I was always just... me... Small, rude, weird Micah with a bad temper, a boring personality and a f****d-up body... Flawed. Not normal. Freak.

A warm feeling embraced me, my stomach fluttered. Kennedy was over me, lips tightly pressed against mine. They were soft although his face looked so rough. He was gentle. A bit cold but still warm somehow. It was overwhelming and I let out a faint moan as he bit my lip. He acted a lot like Jayden. Their kisses felt similar. A sudden realisation came over me and I shoved Kennedy back with all my strength. That was my first kiss that hadn't been s*x-related.

"I... I have to go!" I yelped and stormed out of the janitor's closet. I was going to be late and I ran as fast as I could toward the auditorium. Kennedy's long steps echoed behind me. I felt like a rabbit being chased by a fox. "Stop following me!" I semi-yelled.

"Micah we're in the same classes!" He chuckled behind me. He was a lot closer than I expected. Everything about him seemed gitty and fluttery. I hated it.

⚥ ⚥ ⚥

I glared at Kennedy who just had to follow right behind me as I walked out of the building to get lunch. The class was over and my thoughts were everywhere except for where they should've been.

"So are you two okay now..?" Jayden said as we stepped out of the building.

My glare travelled from Kennedy to Jayden and then back to Kennedy. "I'm getting pizza..." I grumbled.

Jayden and Kennedy instantly tensed up. Not only did I sound like a coldhearted murderer and my angry gaze probably turned them both to stone but I also managed to say something that caught them both off guard. They probably expected me to make a snarky comment or at least say something about the situation but nope. I didn't feel like getting into it.

"What the f**k did you do to him?!" Jayden snapped at Kennedy.

"What do you mean?!" Kennedy snapped back.

"He looks totally depressed, what the f**k did you do?!"

"Well, maybe he's depressed cause you knocked him up, ever thought about that?!"

"He told me all about how you insulted him, ever thought of how depressed that made him, you wh..." He interrupted himself, clenching his jaw in a manner that made me think he was biting his tongue.

"Well, at least I didn't force him into having a f*****g baby! You planning on staying around for that or will you abandon him like all other guys like you?!"

Jayden flinched, his eyes flashing with fury for a second as he looked up at Kennedy. "You motherfu-"

"SHUT UP!" I yelled and jammed their foreheads together as hard as I could since they were standing so close to one another. "Both of you..." I growled. "Don't make racist comments or both of you are getting your asses beat..." Both of them looked truly threatened and I felt a slight amount of pride rise within me. That's right fuckers. Take that. I turned on my heel and stormed off, leaving them on the ground as they rubbed their foreheads.

I rubbed my stomach and stomped towards the bus stop. "I can't believe those two..." I grumbled. "Like what's so hard about being a decent human being?! At least you're decent... Don't you dare turn out like your daddy... Sure, he's gentle and kind but what the heck?! Right, Smith?" I stopped walking. Smith? Where did that come from? Can you name someone Smith? I mean, Kennedy was named Kennedy and that's a surname, right? Smith. I liked Smith. "That's kinda cute... Smith Keller? Smith Marston? Which one do you like? My surname or daddy's?" I looked down at my small bump expecting some kind of answer. "Keller?" I bit my lip. "Marston..?" my stomach fluttered slightly and I nearly jumped in surprise. "Really? Daddy's surname? Alright... Whatever you want, I guess..." A small smile spread over my face. If it was a boy like Brian thought then I wanted his name to be Smith. "And if you're a girl?" I asked. "No... You're definitely a guy, aren't you?"

⚥ ⚥ ⚥

"You picked a name already?" Brian said when he came home that evening.

"Smith Marston!" I stated with confidence and felt my stomach flutter again. It made me smile.

"Sounds badass!" He chuckled.

"No, it sounds adorable..."

"Smithy..." Brian snickered and bent down in front of me, gently stroking his hand over my stomach.

"You're not calling him Smithy! That's degrading!"

He lifted my shirt and gently knocked on my stomach as it were a door. "Hey, Smith, may I call you Smithy?" He pressed his ear against my stomach and nodded his head. "Yeah? Okay..." Brian looked up at my confused face and grinned. "He said yes.." He snickered.

"He did not!" I groaned.

"Oh yeah, he totally did!"

" Traitor!" I mumbled and glared down at my stomach.

"Don't listen to him, Smithy!" Brian said and sighed dramatically. "He's just jealous cause you have a cuter nickname than him!"

I was about to smack his head when someone knocked on the door. Brian raised his brow and looked at the door.

"Did you invite someone?" He asked and stood up.

"No..." I mumbled.

"It's kinda late... Who could possibly want something right now?"

I found myself hiding behind a wall as Brian went to answer the door. I had a blanket draped over my shoulders like a shield. My anxiety was crawling up my spine. I didn't like this. Brian reached the door and looked through the peek hole.

"What the shit..." Brian mumbled.