Intersex

Chapter 20.

It was dark outside when I left the library. The November winds were skipping through the streets, eager to sweep as much of the country as possible in one night. My eyes watered with sleepiness. It had been a long shift and an even longer day. All I wanted to do was curl up in bed and let myself go. I wanted to follow my dreams wherever they took me and stay there. Soon. Soon I'd get to.

The bus stop was dim, poorly lit and not protected from the winds that clawed at my cold skin where I sat. My face felt numb, fingers frozen and my toes curled in my shoes. Sitting at the bus stop like this reminded me of the time I met Jayden. Perhaps he'd come to my rescue once again? No, he was most likely at home, playing super smash bros with his roommates. He had so many friends, why wouldn't he? He was attractive, charismatic and empathetic. He looked like the real-life version of a Disney Prince. I had two friends. Three if you included Jayden.

As if she'd heard my thoughts, Hannah's name lit up the screen and her picture appeared in front of me. I smiled to myself. The picture was taken when we were at a pride parade, it was before she had her gender reassignment surgery so she had been too self-conscious to wear the shorts she wanted. She ended up going in a fluffy skirt that didn't show as much of the parts she didn't want.

"Hey..." I said quietly as I answered her call. It was dark around me. Dark and quiet.

"Micah!" She yelled excitedly. Hannah's voice blasted from my phone speakers loudly enough that I had to move my phone away from my ear to avoid damaging my eardrums.

"Ow..." I mumbled quietly.

"Micah, how are you doing?"

"Uh, I'm fine. What about you?"

"I'm great, I just seriously miss you... it's been so long..."

I smiled to myself. It had been a few months. Some of which felt long while others swept past me. "I was actually thinking about calling you. What're you doing for thanksgiving?"

"Gonna visit my parents and then hang around town for a day or two, I guess..."

"Okay, good. I'm snatching you then."

"Sounds good." She snickered. "I've got some tea to spill..."

I looked down at my growing stomach and swallowed a bit of anxiety that crawled up my throat before it could form a knot. "Yeah, uh... me too..."

"Daisy's at 10, 29th?"

"Yes, ma'am."

⚥ ⚥ ⚥

I was the only one who got off the bus at the bus stop outside of my hometown. It was early in the morning on the day of thanksgiving. The road was anything but active, quite deserted and silent. The only sound was the bus driving away down the road. I always liked the woodsy area around my home town. The forest had been my playground.

Growing up in a small town had its ups and downs. The school was tiny, meaning that everyone knew everyone. It had been a struggle to keep my conditioning hidden. In the locker room when all the other guys changed. When we went swimming. When all the other guys grew taller, got hairy and bulked up while I stayed small and smooth as a baby's ass. Hannah and I had struggled together in the boy's locker room. Of course, some people teased, called us queer and poked fun at us. They always apologised though and no one ever really bullied anyone.

Reunions with old acquaintances are always awkward though. It can not be helped. There's the awkward handshake that sometimes turns into an awkward hug. Then the small talk. Then silence. Then more small talk. Then you part and don't see each other for another year or decade and that's fine. There was no doubt that I'd run into an old headache or two since pretty much everyone went back home for thanksgiving. My cousins, for example, would be spending the day at my parents' house. I barely ever saw my cousins, they were all older than me with families and their parents were all the age of my parents. Although my parents' home wasn't large, all of my family still gathered there every thanksgiving. It had been that way since I was a child. My cousins never wanted to host the thanksgiving party, only my parents ever agreed to it. I sighed and pat my stomach. My extended family didn't know of my condition yet and I couldn't make up my mind of telling them was something I wanted to do. Next thanksgiving Smith would be six months already and it would be weird if they only found out then. Guess I had a lot of pregnancy revealing to do.

My belly was starting to grow visible, yet it was still fairly small if you compared it to others who were as far along as I. To me, it was huge already though. My usual clothes didn't fit like they used to and I had started wearing sweaters and hoodies instead of my usual t-shirts and other tight tops. At least most of my jeans still fit, sort of.

I took a deep breath of the cold air and started walking toward the Main Street of our town. Despite the semi-early hour, people were up and running inside the town. They were probably getting the last preparations for thanksgiving. My hometown made quite the big deal out of thanksgiving, after all, it used to be quite the handy village with many cider houses and syrup factories, many of which were still in business. Autumn activities were always appreciated in the town. Every holiday was celebrated. The town was surrounded by lots of maple trees and apple trees of all sorts, leaving the air smelling sweet and comforting. The scent of the sweet makings of the town could easily get sickening though.

I was lucky to have grown up in such a lovely place. While the town was small, it was still big. The many streets were packed with houses where families of all ages lived. There were many stores, all a bit old school and adorable. The town always felt like its own world to me. It wasn't like other towns. It was isolated in the woods close to a lake but a common tourist destination as well due to the historical buildings and the old factories. The town had a charm like none other. My child would love it here.

Smoke was coming out of the chimney when I approached the front door to my childhood home. They had a fire going. I could smell the smokey wood from the fireplace as well as the cooking food from far away. It was the most wonderful scent. No cars other than my parents' were in the driveway, meaning that none of the guests had arrived yet. But why would they have? It was only ten o'clock.

"I'm home!" I said cheerfully as I stepped through the door. The scent of food, firewood and home filled me with a nostalgic and comforting feeling as I let the warmth of the house hug my frozen body. Despite my jacket, the autumn's frosty winds still chilled me.

"Mickey!" My mom exclaimed and I heard her prancing excitedly toward me. She had a bit of mashed potatoes on her forehead as well as a small smudge of marinade over her cheek. In all her busy glory, she looked like a loving mess. Her arms swung around me and I was pulled into her hug like a child clinging to a teddy bear. "Sean!" She called. "Micah's home!"

"I heard..." My dad muttered. I wasn't surprised to see him walking out of the living room in a robe with a cup of coffee in his hand. My dad was never one to rise early, unlike my mom who could get up at five and still have the energy of a puppy.

Before my dad could say anything else my mom's hands were in my belly. "It's getting bigger! Sean, look! That's our grand-baby!" She said excitedly and pressed her ear to my stomach.

My dad facepalmed sarcastically and smiled behind his hand. Mom had probably acted the same way when she was pregnant with me. I knew how much he loved my mom. After all the years they spent together, they were still like young lovebirds.

"I think it's a boy..." I said and stroke my mom's hair where she sat on the floor with her ear to my stomach. "I wanna name him Smith..."

"That's cute!" My mom beamed and snuggled my belly. "Hey, Smithy..." she whispered.

I flinched at the nickname but kept it to myself. My dad too seemed to dislike the nickname both mom and Brian had decided on.

⚥ ⚥ ⚥

I woke up to the doorbell ringing. Not sure when I had fallen asleep or what time it was, I sat up, dazed. I was on one of the living room couches in front of the fireplace, wrapped in a blanket. The tight turtleneck shirt I had put on this morning was just warm enough to be comfortable and I stretched my achy back before turning my head to the sound of the doorbell. People were entering the house.

Both dread and excitement swirled within me, I hadn't seen my cousins or their families in a year and that always felt a bit strange. I wasn't about to greet them looking like I just woke up though. With a swift jump and a quick leap, I was in the bathroom. Surely enough, my hair was a mess. Thanks to the genes I got from dad though, my hair was easy to style. It didn't take more than a quick brush with my fingers and some repositioning to get it to look decent.

My second eldest cousin, Grace, stood with her three kids in the living room with her husband and my mom. Her kids were still young, all of them under the age of fifteen. That was uncomfortably close to my age though and I always thought it was awkward. Grace was thirty-seven, having an older brother at the age of forty as well as a younger sister who was thirty-five. In conclusion, I was quite left out as they were all technically old enough to be my parents. My dad didn't have any siblings, meaning that my only cousins were those three from my mom's side. Robert, Grace and Trina. Their parents were both dead though as mom's brother passed away from cancer a few years back and their mother died from a stroke. So it was just my family and my cousin's families left now. Still, that was sixteen people if you included my cousins' partners, seventeen with Smith on the way.

"Hey, Micah!" Grace said and smiled at me.

"Hey..." I mumbled and gave her an awkward wave. It sounds terrible, but I was getting very self-conscious about my belly, especially since the shirt I wore clearly showed it.

"No hug..?" She raised a brow in a teasing manner and I couldn't avoid hugging her after that since she basically challenged me.

"Sup, Micah?" Grace's eldest said and gave me a lazy dap. He looked bored already.

"Hey, Lenny..." I chuckled. Lenny was fifteen, four years younger than me, yet I was supposed to be his uncle, ridiculous. When Smith was born, Lenny would be the same age as Grace's sister Trina was when I was born. The thought kind of made me giggle. The circle of life.

"You got fat." A squeaky voice stayed bluntly by my side, the sudden comment made me jump as I looked down at Grace's seven-year-old daughter.

"Emma!" Grace hissed. "That's very impolite!"

"But-"

"It's fine..." I mumbled. "Actually, there's something I have to tell all of you, but that's gonna have to wait until everyone's here."

As much as I was excited to tell them about my baby, I was also scared. They never knew anything about my condition before, the kids probably hadn't even heard of it yet. It was going to be an interesting dinner, to say the least.

⚥ ⚥ ⚥

With all fifteen of my remaining family members gathered around the table, all awaiting the news I was about to tell them, I took a deep breath and gathered up courage.

"So, you've all probably noticed that I look a bit... puffy..?" I began and put my hand over my stomach. "Uh... this is a bit complicated, but... I'm pregnant."

Silence.