Intersex

Chapter 22.

Hannah dragged me around town, snatching my phone away because she wanted me to focus on her and her only. We shared a huge truffle pizza for lunch, drank way too many sodas and laughed way too loudly.

"Smith is a weird name..." She snickered after I told her about the name I had set my eyes on. "But I kinda really like it... like... a lot..."

"It's cool!"

"It's f*****g adorable!" She agreed. "Gosh I can't believe you're having a baby... you hate babies..."

"I know, what if I end up disliking my own kid?"

"Nah..." She said, waving my words away as she stuffed another pizza slice in her mouth, chomping it off gently and slowly pulling it away which made the cheese hang from the pizza slice's edge like a veil. "Actually..." She mumbled shyly. "I'm a tad jealous..."

I looked up in surprise. Hannah? Jealous? Of me? "Why?"

"Like... I can't have kids..." she placed a hand on her stomach. "I'll never have my own babies like you can..."

My heart cracked in my chest. Right. I often found myself forgetting that Hannah wasn't a biological female. She'd just always been 'Hannah' to me. Hannah, my best friend. I couldn't even see her as a man even before she started her transitioning. Because... she was a girl.

"I'm sorry..." I mumbled quietly.

"It's nothing to be sorry about!" She said, faking a smile. "So what's it like..?"

I looked down at belly. Doing so was becoming a habit and I chuckled slightly as I thought of how many times I'd done so in the past few days. "So far I f*****g hate it," I said. It obviously wasn't the answer she'd been expecting because as I looked at her I was met with a look of shock and confused with a hint of concern. "In the beginning, I felt so ducking shitty. Like I was nauseous and tired all the time. Actually, I was so tired that I forgot what day it was and how quickly time passed... didn't really help that I was f*****g depressed in the beginning either..."

"Why?" Hannah asked. She grabbed onto my hands across the table, gently squeezing them.

"Well to begin with I slept with a guy without checking what day it was which lead me to sleep with him while I was ovulating... I'd only met him on a few occasions too. To top it off, I only slept with him cause I was upset about a fight I had with Kennedy..."

"But you want the baby now, right?"

"Well... yeah... I'm just scared..." I took a deep breath and looked out the window. The restaurant was across a small clothing store where I had bought all of my clothes as a kid. Small town charm. There were two clothing stores and one of them only had old lady clothes and fancy dresses and suits. "I barely know the guy... and... he's like really set on being in a relationship with me and this other guy..."

"He's poly?"

"Yeah..."

"Nice..."

"The other guy is Kennedy."

Hannah raised an eyebrow at me. "Tall, scrawny, acne-scarred Kennedy with the short scruffy beard?"

"Yeah..." I sighed and thought about the time he'd kissed me in the janitor's closet. I hadn't exactly hated it.

"He's like... lowkey hot..."

"Hot?!" I looked up at her as if she had just told me that the earth was flat. Who the f**k had gotten that idea into her head?

"Well... Yeah..." she chuckled. "He's like hot in a nerdy way. The kind of guy who becomes a teacher and wears cute glasses and vests..." she bit her lip and pulled her hands up to cup her face, making a dreamy expression. "Bet he'd be like... really good with kids..."

I blushed at her words and stubbornly crosses my arms over my chest. Kennedy wasn't hot. He was just annoying and weird. Like Jayden. Hell, they were like complete opposites and the same person at the same time. Kennedy was an obedient and calm Great Dane with anxiety problems while Jayden was a Husky with a serious and intimidating side as well as a playful and wild one. Would that make me the mean Pomeranian? Wait. Holy s**t. I kind of looked like a Pomeranian.

"Why do you look so grumpy..?" Hannah asked, flicking my forehead with the long fake nail on her middle finger. I winced.

"You'd be an English Springer Spaniel..." I muttered, earning myself a confused look from Hannah.

⚥ ⚥ ⚥

I sat on my parents' couch opposite to Hannah as she laid with her ankles resting on my hipbones on the other side of of the couch, hugging a pillow as we watched a 90's RomCom that she picked. I played with her toes and she kept giggling every time it tickled. Right as the characters on the screen started fighting, my phone suddenly went vibrated in Hannah's pocket. I had long forgotten that I had given it to her and she pulled it out and handed it to me, probably having forgotten about it just as I had.

"Who is it?" Hannah mumbled sleepily as the phone kept vibrating in a steady pattern, indicating that it was a call.

I flipped the phone over and groaned as I saw Jayden's name. One weekend. Was that too much to ask for? A few days without having him at my heels? "Jayden..." I groaned.

"Who?"

"The i***t who knocked me up."

Hannah's eyes widened and she crawled over to me, straddling my lap like a child. I slid my finger over the screen.

"What do you want?" I muttered. As I did so Hannah suddenly started jumping up and down on my lap, giving me an annoyed look.

"Where are you?" Jayden said sternly, sounding both irritated and relieved.

Hannah pushed her hands into my thighs and gave me her best puppy dog eyes. "Speaker!" She pouted and begged. "Please please put him on speaker!"

I rolled my eyes at her desperation and laid my phone on my chest as I pressed the speaker button, earning a grin from her.

"Why do you care?" I muttered.

"Well maybe because you're carrying my kid inside you."

"Your kid?" I scoffed. "Since when is it your kid?"

"That's not what I meant..." Jayden sighed. "I'm just overprotective..."

"Well, I can take care of myself."

"Yeah I know but-"

"So stop trying to babysit me all the time." I growled.

Hannah looked shocked, perhaps I had raised my voice too much and gone overboard. Jayden sighed deeply.

"Is it so wrong of me to try and keep tabs on my family?" He said lowly before ending the call. I shivered, he sounded angry.

"Well, now I just feel bad for imposing..." Hannah said quietly. With an awkward, careful climb, she was off my lap and back to her end of the couch. I glanced at the tv. The characters who had been fighting were now sulking in different houses while depressing music played.

"You." Hannah chuckled and pointed to the screen.

"I'll punch your tit." I growled.

"Fine, I'll just punch your balls."

"You'd punch my balls when I'm pregnant?"

Hannah pulled her lips together into a thin line and furrowed her brows. "I'll twist your nipple."

"You wouldn't dare!" I gasped and cringed as I placed my hands on my chest. They were still oddly perky and sensitive. "Touch my nips and you get a foot up your ass..."

"At least buy me a drink first..." She snickered and smirked at me mischievously.

⚥ ⚥ ⚥

I crossed my arms over my chest as Hannah sang along to Nancy Sinatra with the most passion I'd ever seen. Every time the words "bang-bang" came up, which was quite often, Hannah would point a finger gun at me and sing along as if she was trying to win an Oscar for best performance. She'd lean her head back, close her eyes and put her hand over her heart every time the Nancy sang "you shot me down". I found myself grabbing onto the seatbelt every time she did so in the fear that she'd end up crashing the car. But I suppose that's what I got for not having a drivers licence.

Hannah had insisted on driving me all the way back home since "pregnant people should be around people they're comfortable with". To say the least, that comfort she mentioned barely existed after the fourth time she almost drifted into the lane to our left, causing cars to honk and speed past us. Having Hannah drive me made me miss Jayden's driving. He drove as if he carried the most important cargo in his car at all times. It didn't matter if he was going to the grocery store or if he was driving on a highway, he always drove just as carefully. There was no doubt that the reason for Hannah's sudden decision to drive me was to meet Jayden which I found both sweet and annoying at the same time, mostly because we had a minor fight over the phone which made me dread the moment that I had to face him.

Then there was the whole awkward situation of both Kennedy and Jayden wanting to be in a polygamous relationship with me. Couldn't they just date each other if they were so horny? Wait. Were they dating each other? I groaned as thoughts of what that relationship would be like. The two of them weren't exactly a great match in any way, shape or form. Kennedy was a quiet, careful introvert without social skills while Jayden was one of the most extroverted and self-confident people I had ever come across. They didn't talk much when they were together and when they did, they talked about me. I blushed. Why couldn't someone normal have taken an interest in me? Someone average who didn't stand out like Jayden did or disappear completely like Kennedy. Hopefully, Smith wouldn't turn out like either of them and hopefully not me either. Gosh, we were three equally messed up people. How on earth would be able to raise a decent human being?

I blushed harder. I had done it again; unconsciously assuming that the three of us would raise Smith together like a family. Just like both Jayden and Kennedy wanted. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have two extra pairs of helping hands around. What if we got our own apartment and- no. Stop it. You don't do relationships. I tried to shake the thoughts away. What was I thinking? I absolutely despised relationships, it was literally the definition of a nightmare for me. But then again, I kind of despised children too.

"I've really gotten myself into a sticky situation, haven't I?" I muttered.

"Are you talking to me?" Hannah said, a bit surprised.

"No, I'm talking my son..."

"What if it's a girl?"

"This is a dude. I'm like... 99% sure. Literally, every firstborn kid in my family has been a boy..."

"I thought your mom had a sister?"

"She used to have a brother but he killed himself when he was like eighteen... So yeah, this is gonna be a guy..." I said, patting my stomach which made a funny sound.

"You owe me a hundred bucks if it's a girl..."

"Piss off!" I laughed and shoved her arm which made her turn the steering wheel slightly. For the fifth time, we almost drove into the lane on our left.

⚥ ⚥ ⚥

Hannah basically walked tight in my heels as I entered my apartment. She rushed in, not taking her wet shoes off. If I hadn't loved her like a sister, I would've been polite when I asked her to clean up the mess, instead, I yelled at her like a madman with a stick up his ass. She quickly came back, tail tucked between her legs and kicked her shoes off before getting a towel to wipe her tracks of the floorboards. I calmly strode past her, into my room to change out of the tight jeans I forced myself to wear outside the comfort of my home.

When I came into my room, I found a small stack of clothes placed on the bed. Curious and a bit confused as to who placed them there, I walked over. Although the room wasn't lit, the cold light shone through the window just enough for me to see the clothes on the bed. They weren't ordinary clothes, these were clothes for babies. Shoes the size of my finger and little socks smaller than my pinkies. There were small jumpsuits, sweatpants and soft fabric jeans, the cutest little bear overall and little long-sleeved shirts with pastel colours and animals. Next to them laid a note.

When I came back, dressed in sweatpants and a sweater, Hannah had wiped the floor where she left the wet shoe prints. I had tears in my eyes as I held the note in front of me. One more word and I'd break apart completely.

"What's wrong?" Hannah stuttered and grabbed the note that I held out for her. As she read it, her eyes too, filled with tears.