Divorced; Starting over with an Alpha

No way

I walked over and scooped Scarlett into my arms, breathing her in like I’d been holding my breath all day. That soft baby shampoo scent still clung to her curls. She patted my shoulder rhythmically, repeating “Mama, mama, mama,” then whispered, “Mama wuv,” like she was the one comforting me.

For a moment, I thought of Wayne again—of the son he lost. The ache in my chest tightened. Losing Scarlett I couldn’t imagine surviving that kind of pain. I knew I wouldn’t.

I kissed her forehead and gently set her down into the stroller Anna let me keep at her place. That kindness meant more than I could say. I turned to Anna, the weight of shame growing heavier in my gut. I had let the payments fall so far behind it was almost impossible to admit. But I had to face it.

“I know I’m behind,” I said quietly, avoiding her eyes. “I have some money with me tonight, but could you tell me the exact amount I owe? And maybe add tomorrow’s charge too, just so I can plan?”

Anna rested a gentle hand on my arm. “Sugar, it’s at three-fifty. But don’t you dare feel ashamed,” she said softly. “I know how hard this is. That’s why I give you time. I’ve been there. I raised three kids with a deadbeat ex who found money for everything except his own children.” She paused, then added, “Also—Scarlett’s out of diapers and wipes.”

A fresh wave of guilt hit me. “I didn’t know,” I murmured, my voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”

Tears burned at the corners of my eyes, and before I could blink them away, Anna wrapped her arms around me. Strong and sure. I clung to her for a long moment, overwhelmed by the simple kindness of being held. It had been a long time since anyone held me like that.

When I finally pulled away, I mumbled something about needing to use the bathroom. I wiped my face, straightened my shirt, and tried to pull myself back together.

I reached into my bra for the night’s tips, then pulled out my phone. I needed a calculator for this. I added the fifty-three dollars waiting at home to tonight’s haul, then subtracted what I needed to make it through the night. A little for food. A little for the rent envelope.

That left me with enough to give Anna one-fifty. It wasn’t everything, but it was a start. Diapers and wipes would take a chunk, like always. But tomorrow was another day—and hopefully, another good shift.

Hopefully.

Leaving Anna’s apartment, I felt like a tangled mess of emotions. Guilt gnawed at me—for not being able to give Scarlett more. Shame crept in with every overdue bill I shoved aside to cover another. But still, there was joy too. The kind that only comes from walking your child home, hand in hand with hope.

Then the anger bubbled up again—rage, really. At her father. At the fact that he hadn’t given me a single dime. Not one ounce of help. He’d signed over full custody like it was nothing, but the second I brought up child support, he threatened to take her from me. Said he’d “make things difficult.” I knew what that meant. And I knew I couldn’t afford a lawyer to fight back. So court? Not an option.

I was so caught up in my own head that I nearly walked past the store. The one I needed to stop at for diapers. I snapped back to the moment and ducked inside.

“Hey,” I said to the store clerk at the register.

He didn’t respond.

He just stared at me.

Shook his head, slow and deliberate. His eyes wide, almost bulging, locked right on mine.

A chill ran through me, sharp and quick. Something about the way he looked—like he was warning me without saying a word—made the hairs on my neck stand up.

I hurried toward the back of the store. Diapers, wipes, dinner stuff. In and out.

That was strange. I couldn’t remember his name, but he always greeted Scarlett and me when we came in after work. Usually gave her a little wave, asked about her day. But tonight? Nothing but that weird look.

Maybe he was just in a bad mood. She hadn’t seen anyone else standing by him so surely nothing crazy was happening I told myself that, even though something about it didn’t sit right.

I grabbed the diapers, what few groceries I needed for tonight. Did some quick math in my head—subtracted the cost from my total—and realized I’d still have eleven dollars to spare. I could add that to the rent envelope when we got home too!

“There might be a chance we make rent on time this month, baby girl,” I said with a tired smile, glancing down at Scarlett in her stroller.

I started chatting with her as we made our way down the aisle, telling her how I planned to take her to the park in the morning before I dropped her off. She loved the swings, especially the baby ones with the bucket seats. She squealed out some baby gibberish consisting of the few words she knew. Her enthusiasm made me laugh out loud. Almost ten months old and already full of personality. She was big for her age—bright, curious—and I could feel that she’d be walking any day now.

Just as I rounded the corner of the aisle, the front wheels of the stroller smacked into something solid.

Someone.

He didn’t budge.

The man was large—built like a wall—and let out a low grunt as he turned around to face me.

My heart skipped.

Something about the way he looked at me made my grip on the stroller tighten

He was built like a Greek god. I couldn’t help the wetness settling between my legs as I tried not to stare.