I'D RATHER BURN IN HELL THAN LOVE YOU AGAIN.

CHAPTER 3: "MY ONLY REGRET WAS LOVING YOU"

RIA POV

“You’re what?” He didn’t even try to hide the shock in his voice. His eyes searched my face like he was trying to catch a lie. “So your silence, all this time,” he said slowly, “it’s because you’re pregnant?”

“No,” I started. “That’s not”. He cut me off. “Evelyn was right.” His voice hardened. “It’s just another trick to get my attention.” Before I could react, he grabbed my arm and jerked me forward. “First the fake sickness didn’t work,” he continued, his voice rising, “then you switch tactics. Acting like you don’t care, hoping I’ll come running.”

I didn’t fight him. I didn’t say anything. What was the point? Even if I told him the truth, that I was sick, that I was dying, he would still look at me like this.

Like I was lying. Like I was pretending. I went still, just watching him. Watching the way he looked at me. Waiting.

Then he laughed. Slow. Low. Amused. It sent a chill down my spine.

“This is perfect,” he said. “Just perfect.” My fingers tightened slightly at my side. “Baby,” he continued, his tone changing completely, soft now, almost warm, “this is the best news you’ve given me.”

I blinked. “I love you,” he added. The words didn’t feel real. Not from him. Not like this.

“When you’re not scheming,” he went on, smiling, “you’re actually smart. Sweet. Understanding.”He stepped closer.

“This is the side of you I fell for.” I said nothing. I just looked at him. For a second, something in my chest moved. A memory. A version of him that used to sound like this.

Before everything changed. Before Evelyn. Before I learned what “love” from him really meant. Then he spoke again. More to himself this time. “This fits perfectly.” The feeling disappeared.“What do you mean?” I asked quietly. He glanced at me, then looked away, like he was already thinking ahead. “Evelyn doesn’t want to raise a child alone,” he said.

My chest tightened. “She said women from abusive relationships” he continued, casual, like he was talking about the weather, “they have a high chance of postpartum depression. It wouldn’t be fair to her.”

Her. Not me. Not us. Her. I felt my fingers go cold. “So this works out,” he added. I stared at him. “Works out?” I repeated. He nodded, like it was obvious. “Yes. Now she doesn’t have to be a single mother.” Silence filled the room. For a moment, I didn’t understand. Then I did. And something inside me went completely still.

He nodded, like it was obvious.

“Yes. Now she doesn’t have to be a single mother.” Silence filled the room. For a moment, I didn’t understand. Then I did. And something inside me went completely still. “What do you mean?” My voice came out thin. He looked at me, calm, like he was explaining something simple. “We’ll handle it properly,” he said. “I’ll arrange everything.”

“Arrange what?”. “A reason,” he replied. “A valid one.” My chest tightened. “For the divorce,” he added. The word landed, heavy and final. I stared at him. “What reason?” I asked. He didn’t hesitate. “You had an affair.” The room felt like it tilted.

“What?” “We’ll make it believable,” he continued. “Messages. Maybe a witness. It won’t be hard.” My lips parted, but no sound came out. “The child will be from that affair,” he said, like he had already decided everything.

I shook my head slowly. “No”. “Don’t worry,” he added quickly, almost reassuring. “Once Evelyn is stable, I’ll clear your name.” Clear my name. Like he was doing me a favor. Like destroying me first was nothing. My vision blurred. Tears filled my eyes before I could stop them.

So this was it. This was what I meant to him. A tool. Something to use. Something to discard.

“I” My voice broke. I swallowed hard. “You never loved me.” He didn’t answer. That was answer enough. A shaky breath left my lips. “Not once,” I whispered.

The truth settled in my chest, heavy and cold. He only chose me because she wasn’t there. Because Evelyn was gone. Because I was convenient. He sighed, like I was being difficult.

“You’re overthinking it.” I let out a small, broken laugh.

“Am I?” “Yes,” he said, his tone sharpening. “If you hadn’t done what you did, none of this would have happened.” I looked at him. “What did I do?” “If we hadn’t run that night,” he said, his voice rising, “I would have been with Evelyn.”

Each word hit harder than the last. “If I hadn’t listened to you and blocked her” My fingers grip tightly into my palms. “If you had just let me forgive her when she cheated”

Cheated.

He said it so easily. “Guilt wouldn’t have pushed her into that marriage,” he finished. I stared at him. He really believed that. He really thought all of this was my fault. “I thought” My voice shook. “I thought you would believe me. Over anyone.”

He didn’t respond. He didn’t need to. I nodded slowly. Then I turned and walked away. I entered his room. Our room. No. His. I went straight to the drawer. I knew where it was. I had seen it before. The divorce papers. Back then, I told myself if I behaved, if I tried harder, if I endured, I wouldn’t lose him.

My hands trembled as I pulled them out. I didn’t read it. There was nothing to read. I picked up a pen and signed. My name looked unfamiliar. Like it didn’t belong to me anymore. I walked back to him and held the papers out. “You don’t need to do all that,” I said quietly. He frowned, confused.

I let out a small breath. “Dimitri was hell,” I said. His expression changed slightly at the name. “But I should have chosen him.” The words tasted bitter.

“I regret the day I ran to you.” Something flickered in his eyes. Shock. Or maybe anger. I didn’t care. “If there is a second chance,” I continued, my voice steady now, “I will never love you again.” Silence.

“Dimitri was hell,” I repeated. “But I would rather burn in hell than be with you.” I placed the papers in his hand. Then I turned and walked away.

I didn’t stop crying. Not when I reached the door. Not when I stepped outside. Everything blurred. My chest hurt. My head hurt. My heart. I saw it again. That night. Gunshots. My parents falling. Blood everywhere. My scream.

Then Dimitri. Cold. Obsessive. Possessive. But he never looked at me like I was nothing. Never made me feel like this. A broken laugh slipped through my tears. What kind of life had I lived? What kind of choices had I made?

“I just” My voice cracked. “I just want another chance.” My legs felt weak. “I want to save them.” My parents. “I want to do it right.” The world around me felt strange. Too quiet. Then. A voice. Soft. Close. “Wish granted.” My eyes snapped open. Bright lights. A loud horn. I turned.

A truck. Too close. Too fast. Then impact. My body hit the ground. Pain exploded through me as I rolled across the road. Everything spun. Then. Darkness.

I opened my eyes. Rain. Cold. Heavy. My breath caught. I knew this place. I knew this night. My heart started pounding. Slowly, I lifted my head. And I saw them.

Dimitri. Adrian. Both of them. Right there. Just like before. My fingers curled into fists. My chest rose and fell sharply. This time.

This time would be different. “I will never love you again,” I whispered. My hand moved slowly to my stomach. Empty. A hollow feeling settled deep inside me.

Tears slid down my face. “Either way” my voice broke, “I would have died.” I closed my eyes for a second. “It’s better this way.” Silence. Then my eyes opened again.

Cold. Steady. “I’ll make you both pay.”