Through the Darkness

The Hospital

One and a half year later…

Kongphop turned off the ignition of his car and took a deep breath. He should be happy to meet his friends after two months of continuous working, but for some reason, he felt an ominous sensation in his heart…maybe because they were meeting at the same restaurant that held many fond memories of—

Kongphop shook his head, not wishing to remember this now. It was over. He had a fiancée now, a beautiful lady who loved him very much and would soon be his wife. It was unfair and unfaithful of him to think of and lament past relationships.

Taking a deep breath, Kongphop got out of the car and to the open-air restaurant.

“Yo! Kong! How are you?” His friends, Em, May, Tew, and Oak were already there, waiting for his arrival. They had not changed much during the years, whether in looks or personality. Kongphop felt a strange warmth spreading inside his chest upon realizing that they were still the friends he knew and loved from college.

“Hi, everyone. I’m fine, and how are you all?” He greeted as he sat beside Tew.

“We’re fine,” Em replied. “It’s been a while.”

“Yes, working for my father is harder than I had thought,” Kongphop said. “He’s not giving me any chance to rest.”

“Never work for relatives,” Oak commented. “You would think that they would go easy on you, but the truth is exactly the opposite.”

“Where is Wad?” Kongphop asked.

“He told me earlier that he can’t make it,” Tew replied. “He suddenly becomes very busy these days. Hey, Kong, why do you make him work so hard?”

“Me?”

“Doesn’t he work at your father’s company?”

“We both work at different departments, Tew,” Kongphop replied. “I work at the main office while Wad works at the warehouse. We hardly see each other.”

Oak coughed. “Wad isn’t busy with work. He’s busy with his boyfriend, P’Prem!”

“What?”

“Wad and P’Prem are dating?”

Oak nodded in reply.

“How do you know?” May asked.

“I saw them with my own eyes walking over the bridge one night.”

“Wad and P’Prem?” Em wondered. “I can’t see that happening.”

“Cause you’re blind,” Oak said. “Me, on the other hand, have double vision.”

“You got that right, four-eyes!”

Everyone laughed, and soon they were all engaged in a merry conversation and food.

“Hey, look, isn’t that P’Knott?” Suddenly Oak exclaimed, glancing over Kongphop’s shoulders. Everyone looked in that direction, and sure enough, dressed in a pair of black trousers, a dark grey shirt and a white jacket was their former senior in college, Knott, scanning the restaurant with his eyes until he found what he was looking for before he walked to a table full of the rest of their former seniors.

Kongphop’s heart clenched slightly as his eyes scanned the people present at the table, looking for a certain pale-skinned, dark-haired former Head Hazer. Unfortunately, or perhaps, fortunately, Arthit wasn’t present.

“I can see P’Prem, but I don’t see Wad with them,” May commented, eyeing Oak pointedly and gaining an annoyed glare from him.

“Do you think we should go and greet them?” Tew asked.

Oak groaned. “Must we? We aren’t in college anymore. Why should we go?”

“Because they are our elders, even if we aren’t in college anymore.” May reasoned. “It’s our duty to show them the respect they deserve. Honestly, haven’t you learned that from the Hazing?”

“Yeah, yeah, I learned much under the tyrannical reign of P’Arthit.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Oak regretted saying them. He looked at Kongphop. “I’m sorry.” Being his close friends, they were aware that he and Arthit had broken up a year ago; however, they didn’t know the reasons behind the break-up, although they all could see that the mere mention of the other man brought great distress to their friend.

“It’s alright,” Kongphop said, smiling slightly.

“By the way, Kong,” May suddenly asked, wishing to change the subject. “Why didn’t your fiancée come with you today?”

“Yes, you’ve been engaged for almost six months, and we’ve only met her at the engagement party.”

“Oh, she’s a little bit busy with her studies and organizing her upcoming graduation art gallery project.” He replied. “To which you are all invited to come, by the way.”

“Oh, that’s nice. When will it be?”

“Monday night, around 8 pm. I’ll text you the details.”

“Wait, don’t you need formal invitations for these events?”

“You don’t need formal invitations when you are friends with the owner’s fiancé!” Oak exclaimed laughingly.

}{ }{ }{ }{ }{

At the seniors’ table…

“Hey, Knott, why i-Aoon hasn’t come with you?” Tum asked.

“He couldn’t make it,” Knott replied tightly before turning his attention to his food.

“I haven’t heard from him for a year now,” Tum added. “Is he alright?”

Knott and Prem, who were sitting opposite each other, exchanged uneasy looks before Knott looked at his senior. “He’s not feeling well recently,” he replied.

“I tried calling him the other day,” Dear said. “But his number was disconnected.”

“I haven’t heard from him either for a long time!” Bright whined.

“Maybe we should go all and visit him one day?” Tum suggested.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, P’Tum,” Knott said. “You see, Arthit is staying with his father nowadays.”

“What about his job?”

“Err…vacation.”

Tum and Dear looked at each other, neither buying Knott’s clipped answers. The two seniors sensed that something wrong was going with their favourite junior, and Knott wasn’t willing to say what. The two quietly decided that they would wrench the truth out of him later on.

At that moment, Knott’s cell phone rang.

“Who is calling you?” Bright, who was sitting next to him, extended his neck and took a look at the screen to see who was calling.

Snatching the cell phone before Bright’s hand could take hold of it, Knott frowned upon seeing the caller.

“Excuse me; I must take this.” With that, he left.

“Yo, Bright, who was it?” Tutah asked curiously. “His girlfriend?”

“You shouldn’t pry on your friend’s personal life,” Dear said.

“It’s alright, P’Dear. It wasn’t his girlfriend. It was Arthit’s father,” Bright replied indifferently. “Although why Arthit’s father is calling Knott is beyond me!”

“Excuse me,” The group was surprised when Prem suddenly stood up and followed Knott.

}{ }{ }{ }{ }{

“Uncle, calm down and tell me what happened exactly?” Prem entered the restroom to find Knott still on the phone.

“To which hospital are you heading?”

“I’ll be right there.”

“Goodbye.”

“Hospital?” Prem asked worriedly as Knott ended his call.

Knott nodded, sighing deeply. “Arthit was involved in a car accident.”

“A car accident? How could he be involved in a car accident when he’s—” Words died inside Prem’s throat as a horrible conclusion downed to him. “Surely you don’t mean that he…” his voice trailed off, unable to complete his sentence.

“I’m afraid so,” Knott said, running a hand through his hair. “I must go to the hospital. Mr Rojnapat is in a shattered state.”

“I’m going with you.”

“But what about the rest? They will surely suspect something if we both left suddenly.”

“I don’t care,” Prem replied. “Besides, even if I stayed, I’ll be worried the whole time and won’t be able to focus on anything else.”

Knott sighed, nodding his agreement.

“To which hospital did they take him to?”

“Bangkok General.”

}{ }{ }{ }{ }{

“Where have you two been?” Bright asked as soon as Knott and Prem came back to their table.

“Umm, P’Tum, P’Dear,” Knott addressed his seniors, totally ignoring his nosy friend. “We’d like to excuse ourselves. There’s been an emergency.”

“What happened?” Dear asked.

The two friends exchanged uneasy looks before Prem spoke. “It’s an emergency, P’Dear. We really have to go,” He said pleading.

The two seniors looked at each other before returning their gazes to their standing juniors.

“Is something wrong with I-Aoon?” Asked P’Tum. It wasn’t really hard for everyone to put one and one together.

Knott looked at Prem, who merely pressed his lips into a thin line. It wasn’t easy for them to lie to their seniors. They respected and loved them too much to try and deceived them, but at the same time, they didn’t feel they have the right to expose their friend’s secret to anyone.

“Fine!” P’Tum suddenly said, standing up. “You don’t have to tell us, but I’m going with you wherever you are going to.”

“I’ll join as well,” Dear seconded, rising as well and signalling for the waiter to bring the bill.

“Hey, what about us?” Bright asked. “Everyone is going and leaving like this? I’m still hungry, you know!”

“I agree with him,” Tutah said.

“You two stay and finish your dinner, then,” Dear said as he paid the waiter. “We’re going.”

With that, he walked out of his seat, followed by Tum.

Finding no alternative other than letting his seniors joined them, Knott nodded his head and started walking towards the exit, followed by Prem, Tum and Dear.

Bright and Tutah looked at each other before rising as well and following their company.

}{ }{ }{ }{ }{

“The seniors seem to be leaving in a hurry,” May observed. “I wonder why?”

“They’re probably going to Bangkok General Hospital,” Tew, who had just returned, said.

“What?” Everyone at the table stared at him.

“Why?” May asked.

Tew gave Kongphop an anxious look. “I overheard P’Knott while I was in the restroom. He said to P’Prem that P’Arthit has met with a car accident.”

Upon hearing this, Kongphop stood up abruptly and left the table without a word.

“Did you have to tell him that?” Oak chastised. “Look, what you’ve done!”

“I’m going after him,” Em said, standing up. “Are you coming with me, May?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I’m going with you too,” Tew said.

“Oak, pay the bill!” Em ordered before walking away with May.

“WHAT?” Oak exclaimed as his friends followed Kongphop.

}{ }{ }{ }{ }{

“Mr Arthit Rojnapat is currently at the emergency operation theatre,” the nurse at the hospital’s reception informed them. “It’s at the end of the left corridor, next to Resuscitation Room.”

“Thank you.”

Knott and his company were about to leave the main desk when they heard someone calling.

“P’Knott.”

Turning around, they all saw Kongphop and some of his friends.

Knott let out a frustrated sigh. This wasn’t the right time to deal with this matter.

“P’Knott, where is P’Arthit?” Kongphop asked hastily, forgetting to great his seniors first. “What happened to him?”

“It’s none of your business,” Knott replied tersely. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

“We saw you at the restaurant,” Tew explained. “and I overheard you telling P’Prem that P’Arthit is at the hospital.”

“Please, P’Knott,” Kongphop pleaded. “Tell me what exactly happened to P’Arthit!”

Knott took a deep breath in an attempt to control his temper. Dealing with Kongphop was the last thing he needed now.

“We don’t know yet, Kongphop,” Dear replied, trying to calm down the distressed man. “He’s in the operation theatre right now. We’re going there to find out what happened.”

“Operation theatre?!” Kongphop gasped. “I’m coming with you too.”

“No” —Knott held the younger man’s arm as the latter tried to move past them, much to everyone’s surprise— “You of all people have no right to be near Arthit.”

“But, P’—”

Knott pulled Kongphop from his collar towards him until their faces were inches apart. “Being near you had only caused pain and agony to Arthit,” he hissed. “For once, can’t you just listen to others and keep your distance? Arthit has been hurt enough!”

“Excuse me, is there a problem?” Two security men approached the group.

“No,” Knott replied, releasing a stunned Kongphop. “There is no problem. We’re leaving.” With that, he walked away towards the operation theatre, followed by his friends.

Kongphop stood motionless, staring at his seniors’ backs, dumbfounded. Knott’s words had cut deeply into his heart. Him hurting Arthit?

He had never wished to hurt Arthit in any way all the time they had been together. All that time, he had done everything he could to take care of the other man and protect him like the precious gem that he was and be the good boyfriend that he truly deserved.

“Kongphop,”

He felt a comforting hand upon his shoulder. Glancing behind, he saw Em looking at him with deep concern.

Giving his friend a sad smile, Kongphop turned around. “Let’s go. We’re not welcomed here.” He said before he walked away.

“Kongphop, wait!” Em rushed behind his friend. “Are you alright? Do you want me to accompany you home?”

Kongphop shook his head, smiling despite the tears that filled his eyes. “I’ll be fine,” He said softly before leaving.

“P’Knott shouldn’t have said those hurtful things to Kongphop,” Em grumbled to himself as he watched his friend’s returning figure.

“Do you know why Kongphop and P’Arthit broke up, Em?” May asked. “They seemed to be very happy together.”

“I don’t know,” Em replied. “But I’m definite that it wasn’t Kongphop’s fault. P’Knott shouldn’t have been so harsh on him like that.”

“Whether it was his fault or not, it doesn’t matter,” Tew said. “What matters is that if Kongphop still has feelings for P’Arthit and isn’t able to forget him, then he will be miserable in his marriage to that girl.”

Em and May couldn’t agree more.

}{ }{ }{ }{ }{

As soon as they neared the operation theatre, Knott spotted Arthit’s father in the waiting room. The older man looked like he was on the verge of losing his mind.

“Uncle,” Knott called as soon as he was close. “Hello.”

“Oh, Knott. Hello,” Mr Rojnapat greeted back.

“Hello, Mr Rojnapat.” Knott’s company greeted the grieving man as well.

“Mr Rojnapat, my name is Tum,” Tum introduced himself. “I was your son’s senior when he was a freshman in Engineering.”

“I’m Dear. I was Arthit’s senior by one year in college.”

“Thank you for coming here,” Mr Rojnapat whispered.

“Uncle, what happened?” Knott asked, sitting beside him as his companions followed suit.

“We were having dinner in the garden,” Mr Rojnapat explained. “Arthit looked normal and light-hearted recently, so I thought that he became better. And during dinner, he seemed to be having a good time. Then, he offered to clear the table” —Mr. Rojnapat took a deep breath, trying to swallow down his sob— “It never occurred to me that he would rush to the middle of the street and threw himself in front of a car when I wasn’t looking.”

Tum, Dear, Bright and Tutah looked at each other with utter astonishment. Arthit tried to kill himself?

The thought was just absurd and unbelievable. It was simply not the Arthit they knew.

The four looked at Knott and Prem and found that the two didn’t share their shock. The two seemed to be expecting it for some reason.

Tum and Dear raised an eyebrow at each other, silently agreeing to question their two juniors thoroughly about it later.

“Excuse me, Mr Rojnapat,” a surgeon stood in front of them a couple of hours later. “Your son is about to be taken out of the operation theatre now. Please, follow me. We need to discuss his condition.”

“Knott!” Mr Rojnapat called, placing a hand on the young man’s arm pleadingly.

“I’m coming with you, Uncle. Don’t worry,” he said, standing up. Excusing themselves, the two followed the doctor, leaving their five friends behind.

}{ }{ }{ }{ }{

As soon as Knott and Arthit’s father were gone, Tum and Dear stood up and took a seat at each of Prem’s sides. Prem suddenly found himself sandwiched between his former head hazers, who were staring intensely at him like predators.

“Prem,” Tum began. “Do you know what’s happened to I-Aoon?”

“Umm…his father said that he threw himself in front of a car.”

“Nice try, Prem,” Dear said. “What we want to know is why did he do it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Really?” Tum asked, eyeing the younger man piercingly. “Then why didn’t you seem surprised like the rest of us when you heard this?”

“I didn’t?” Prem asked, smiling nervously.

“No, you didn’t.”

Bright and Tutah watched with great curiosity at the ongoing inquisition. At another time, the sight of their ever-confidant, tough and straight-faced friend sweating anxiously while being questioned by their seniors would have invoked their ridicule; however, this was a grave situation, and nothing seemed funny at the moment. But the truth had to be said, both seniors looked scary as both had tuned into their ‘Head Hazer’ mode, and they were doing a damn good job.

“Well, Prem,” Tum asked. “Are you going to talk or what?”

“I don’t…know anything,” Prem stammered nervously.

Tum and Dear both raised a disbelieving eyebrow at him, and Prem had to swallow the lump that formed down his throat.

“Okay, listen,” he finally said. “If you want the whole truth, you have to ask Knott.”

The two former Head Hazers exchanged a look. Knott was another matter altogether. They were totally shocked at his behaviour towards Kongphop, whom they knew to be Arthit’s boyfriend for five years. Even if they broke up, there wasn’t a need to be so hostile with the younger man, who was obviously very worried about Arthit.

Tum and Dear nodded at each other, mentally agreeing to ask the truth out of Knott very soon.

}{ }{ }{ }{ }{

Kongphop walked along Rama 8 Bridge that held a few of his happiest memories with Arthit. On this bridge, Arthit first accepted him as his boyfriend and kissed him for the first time. It was on this bridge that they took many long walks together, enjoying each other’s company. It was on this bridge that Arthit presented him with the fusion of their gears.

[These gears don’t just represent each of us anymore, our hearts are now merged together in each of them.]

Unconsciously, Kongphop’s hand touched the place where the gear was resting against his chest under his clothes. Even after their break-up and his engagement, Kongphop couldn’t get rid of it or take it off his neck because it was his and Arthit’s hearts.

Leaning on the metal railings, Kongphop gazed at the horizon with tear-filled eyes. It was hard to try hiding how he felt towards the older man or act indifferently when the other man’s name was mentioned.

Kongphop closed his eyes, allowing his tears to fall. It was useless, and he knew it. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't erase Arthit’s love from his heart. His fiancée was a sweet and lovely young lady, but still, she couldn’t fill the void that Arthit’s absence had created in his soul. Kongphop realized that it was only when he is near Arthit that he became whole.

[You of all people have no right to be near Arthit.]

[Being near you had only caused pain and agony to Arthit.]

[Arthit has been hurt enough!]

Kongphop covered his ears with both hands, trying to block the senior’s angry voice. Knott’s harsh and unfair words had cut through his heart.

How could the senior accuse him of hurting the only one he wanted to cherish and love for the rest of his life?

Besides, it was Arthit who broke up with him in the first place. It was Arthit who broke his heart first.

Kongphop inhaled sharply, trying to ease the piercing pain that filled his heart, wishing that he could die this instant and be spared from this agony. He was—

Kongphop snapped from his thoughts by the sound of his mobile ringing. Wiping away his tears and taking several deep breaths, he reached for his cell phone and answered it.

“Hello, dear,” His fiancée, Mayuree, greeted sweetly.

“Hello,”

“How are you doing?” She asked, “Are you still with your friends?”

“N-No,” he replied, trying to keep his voice normal. “We had to leave early. I’m on my way home.”

“Alright. Good night, dear.”

“Good night.”

Closing his phone, Kongphop took a deep breath and decided to go home. This was his life now, and he must accept that Arthit was lost to him forever.

}{ }{ }{ }{ }{

Tum, Dear, Bright and Tutah saw Knott bidding Arthit’s father farewell before the older man walked away while Knott approached them in the waiting area.

“Where is Mr Rojnapat going?” Bright asked.

“Home,” Knott replied. “He needs some rest. Plus, staying here will not make Arthit better.”

“And how is I-Aoon now?” Tum asked.

Knott sighed deeply. “Along with a few broken bones, the impact had caused serious damage to his liver. The doctor said they would need to transplant a new liver soon or else he won’t live for long.”

The four men looked at each other with grave concern.

“How soon are we talking about?” Tum inquired.

“As soon as we find a compatible donor,” Knott replied. “His condition is stable and under control now, but it won’t last long. Arthit’s father and I had already given some samples to check if they would be compatible with Arthit’s body. Hopefully, one of us will be suitable as a donor.”

“Wait a sec,” Tutah raised a hand as if he was in class. “How can you donate a liver? Don’t every human have only one?”

Knott resisted rolling his eyes at his friend’s question.

“Doctors can cut part of a person’s liver and transplant it into a patient,” Dear explained. “that part then will regenerate into a full organ.”

“Oh.”

“Well, we should volunteer as well,” Prem suggested.

“No need now,” Knott said. “Maybe later on, if neither Mr Rojnapat nor I were suitable as donors.”

“But we are already here, Knott,” Tum said, standing up. “It will save a lot of time. Besides, instead of two, I-Aoon will have five more chances to survive.”

Everyone sounded their agreement.

}{ }{ }{ }{ }{

“Thank you, P’Tum, P’Dear, for volunteering to help Arthit,” Knott thanked his seniors as the two exited the examination room. Prem, Bright and Tutah had already left after their samples had been taken. “I’ll be sure to inform Arthit’s father about your help.”

“There is no need to thank us, Knott,” Dear said. “Arthit is our junior and friend. It’s our duty. When will the results appear?”

“By Monday.”

“Keep us in touch, will you?”

“Of course.”

“Knott,” Tum said. “I know this isn’t the place to ask this, but I think that we deserve an explanation for what is happening. Something is seriously wrong with I-Aoon, and as his friends, we should know it.”

Knott’s face changed drastically at Tum’s question. He didn’t know whether he should confide in his seniors or not. He had been dealing with Arthit’s issue for a year all by himself, and he was starting to get tired. However, he had promised Arthit not to disclose his problems to anyone. It would severely hurt his friend’s pride.

“Knott” —He was snapped out of his musing by Tum’s voice— “We are your friends and I-Aoon’s, and we can help with whatever problem you are facing.”

Knott nodded his head. “Alright,” he said. “Let’s meet at Bright’s bar tomorrow, and I’ll tell you everything.”

“Okay.”

}{ }{ }{ }{ }{

To Be Continued…