The Subtle Way of Letting Go

Chapter 10

I was very happy to see an improvement with Ethan. He’s not locking up himself anymore. He’s slowly becoming himself again. He’s starting to be bubbly again. It’s been 2 months since he let me help him. I was just so happy to see him becoming fully okay. It was slow process but everything was all worth it.

Ethan and I became very close. We were very close then but it’s a different kind of close this time. He became so clingy. I don’t what has gotten into him because he’s not like this before.

We were together during the whole vacation. He doesn’t want to be away from me. Well, I wouldn’t deny that I was so happy that he’s this clingy. I don’t know what effect this will have in my heart. This happiness might be taken away sooner or later.

“Andi, let’s go already. Pretty please. Let’s go there.” We’re at the mall now. He really wants to play at the arcade. Sometimes he really is so childish.

“Are you not tired? We were walking non-stop for hours now. We also watched a movie. My feet hurt already.” I was complaining to him. I was really tired.

“Come on, Andi. Please. Please. Please.” He still wouldn’t stop.

“Fine! But this is the last stop for today. I really am so tired.” I finally gave in. I will always give in when it comes to him.

And he was so happy he’s almost jumping. What has gotten into this one? But I was so happy to see him like this. I just smiled to myself.

“Miss, can you please exchange this for tokens.” He handed a 300-peso bill.

“That’s a lot. Do we need to use all of that here?” I was shocked to see how many tokens he exchanged.

“Stop complaining, will you? Come on let’s play. He held my hand and intertwined it with his leading me to where he wanted to play first. I just looked at our hands. My heart pounded so hard as I looked at it. I’m asking my heart to calm down. It’s pounding so hard I thought it might explode. For heaven’s sake, he’s just holding my hand. It’s not as if he hasn’t held my hand before. Behave. I inhaled and exhaled and tried to shake these thoughts away.

“Hey Andi, are you listening? I’ve been talking here but it looks like your mind is somewhere else.” I was suddenly awakened from my thoughts.

“What did you say?”

“I said let’s start playing basketball. Let’s make a bet. Whoever loses will do whatever the winner asks him to do. Game?” He said.

“Deal!” I said. I knew Ethan was good at playing but I just had to play along.

I was laughing hard while shooting the ball. Ethan already made a lot of shots while I only made two. I wasn’t giving up. I was still trying to make a goal. I was laughing hard at myself. The moment I knew I’ll lose, I picked up all his remaining balls. No one said I don’t need to cheat to win. (Insert Evil Laugh)

“You, cheater!!” Ethan was complaining. I was just laughing hard. In the end the deal was void. He was so annoyed.

We tried a couple of games at the arcade. He doesn’t want to make a bet anymore because I was a cheater, he said. I just grinned at him. After playing, we ate Ice cream and he excused himself to go to the comfort room. I said I’ll just wait for him at the arcade because I was just so tired.

“Okay I’ll just wait for you here. My feet hurt.” I said to him. he was okay with it and said that he’ll be quick.

I was scrolling at my phone when a random guy went up to me. He was good looking and was about 6 foot tall.

“Hi miss, are you alone?” He smiled at me. It was kind of creeping me out.

“Uhm, No. I’m waiting for my someone.” I said to him. It was a bit uncomfortable because I don’t usually talk to strangers.

“My name’s Niko. My bad. I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself. I’m not a bad person maybe you’ll think that way because I approached you randomly.” He shyly smiled at me. “I just thought you were alone.” He added. I smiled a bit to answer him.

“Would you mind if I ask you if you were waiting for you boyfriend?” I was shocked at his question. I was about to answer when someone put his hand on my shoulder. I looked at that person and it was Ethan.

“Yeah. He’s waiting for his boyfriend. Why?” Ethan suddenly said to Niko. His stare was scary. You can easily say that he was annoyed.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I though she doesn’t have a boyfriend.” He suddenly said and left.

“I was just gone for a bit and someone’s already roaming around.” He was whispering but I clearly heard it. I was taken aback with what he said. What is this you’re doing Ethan? You’re making me assume things. My heart is going to explode because of what happened today. I need to calm down. Breathe in, breathe out.

“Come on, Let’s go home. I am not interested in playing anymore.” He suddenly asked me to go home. He held my hand again and led me to the parking lot. Why was he like this all of a sudden? If only he knows what the effect of these are to me.

The vacation ended and soon we realized it’s the start of the semester again. Ethan already enrolled himself. He got the subjects he dropped last semester. He said he still wanted to graduate on time. He’s on full load. The subjects he wasn’t able to get this semester he’ll just enroll it next sem.

I’m in my class now attentively listening to my professor. I was so engrossed in listening because this is one of my favorite subjects. I did not check my phone. Actually, I already felt if vibrating since earlier I just didn’t mind it yet.

“Okay class, I need you to send me a report regarding the topics that I’m going to assign to each of you. Check the portal later because I will be posting the assigned topics.” My professor said. “Any questions or clarifications?”

“When will be the deadline for submission of the reports sir?” John asked. He’s one of the top performers or our class.

“I’ll be posting it on the portal as well. So, check it out later.” My professor answered. “Any more questions?”

“None sir.” The class said in a chorus.

“Okay, see you tomorrow. Class dismissed.”

“Ms. Buendia and Mr. Cruz can you spare me five minutes of your time, I wanted to talk to you.” Our professor suddenly said. He was referring to John and I.

“I just want to congratulate both of you for being in the dean’s list again. Good job. I hope you both keep up the good work.” Our professor smiled at us. He provided us with tips on what were going to expect this semester.

“Thank you, sir.” We both said in unison. Our prof bid his goodbye and John and I went outside together.

“Hey, congrats.” I said to him. “You too. Congratulations.” He responded. We were both laughing reminiscing about the things we went through last semester as we went outside.

“So, Andi, I’ll go ahead.” John said as he excused himself. Then I saw Ethan waiting for me outside of the classroom.

Why does he look annoyed again? What is it this time? With his frequent mood swing, I’ll really think that he’s bi-polar.

“Hey, what’s your problem? What’s with the long face?” I asked him. I was really curious. He wasn’t talking and his face remained it’s expression.

“Hey, are you angry at me? Answer me. Hey!!” I was trying to get an answer from him. I followed him because he suddenly walked out. I grabbed his hand and he looked at me.

“I texted you, multiple times you didn’t even think of replying back. I called you a few times too but you didn’t answer. And then I’ll see you laughing with someone else.” He was being grumpy. What happened to this guy? He’s being crazy.

“You look stupid, you know that? I have a class and I listened attentively like what a normal student would do.” I don’t know why I’m explaining. He’s being childish now.

“Who’s that you were with? Why were you so happy?”

“What’s with you today? He’s my classmate. Our professor talked to us that’s why he requested for us to stay for a few minutes.” He was really weirding me out.

“Nothing. Come on, let’s go eat street food. My treat.” Therefore, I conclude, He really is bi-polar.

Days passed and I got used to the new Ethan. I just learned to enjoy every bit of it. I was afraid that sooner or later he’ll give this attention to someone else again. That’s why I’m just enjoying this moment. I just stopped thinking about what will happen tomorrow. What’s important is what’s happening now.

“You look happy today. It’s refreshing to see you like this. But I prefer you like this.” I was at the bench at the garden of the school when Toby sat down beside me. It’s been a while since we last saw each other. He is still the same old toby with the looks that could make the girls go crazy.

I smiled at him. “How are you?”

“Same old s**t with same old problems.” Then he let out a small laugh. “I’m glad that after all those crying you finally became happy. It’s showing on your face. I’m guessing it has something to do with him.” he added.

“I’m just glad that Ethan found himself again.” I answered him.

We were busy catching up when someone approached us.

“Ate Andi, you’re needed at the gymnatorium.” After she said that she immediately left.

I was so confused. I looked at toby. “Do we have an event today? Or an activity perhaps, that I forgot?”

“I don’t know. Might as well check it out. I’ll come with you.” He was confused as well. I nodded and we both walked towards the gym.

We reached the gymnatorium and I was shocked to see all my classmates there. The whole place was designed with heart balloons. Flowers were scattered on the floor. My classmates were all smiling at me. I looked at toby and he smiled at me as well. But why do I see pain in his eyes?

“Do you know anything about this? What’s going on?” I asked toby.

He didn’t answer me. I saw sadness. “Just promise me you’ll be happy, okay?” He coped my face. “I’ll try my best to be happy for you.” He said and then turned his back and walked away.

You are the reason by Calum Scott suddenly played. I saw someone walking on the stage and my heart started to pound hard. What is he doing there? He went to the middle of the stage and took the mic.

“Hi Andi, until now maybe you’re still confused of what is going on. Actually, I’m shaking right now.” He laughed nervously. He inhaled deeply and then started talking again. “We’ve known each other more than half of our lives. We were in each other’s lives, way too long. I don’t know why I did not realize sooner that the person I wanted to be with is literally just beside me.” Tears automatically escaped my eyes.

“I asked your classmates help to prepare the venue. I did everything to make this day perfect because I know you deserve nothing but the best. I asked toby’s help to make sure you don’t get here unless everything’s set up so that you won’t spoil the surprise.” He laughed at what he said.

“Andi, you were the only person that never gave up on me even when I gave up on myself. You were my strength when I was about to give up. During those times I realized that you were so important in my life. I don’t know yet my feelings for you then. I was still confused. Until I got jealous of every man that approaches you. I got jealous of every man that makes you laugh. I want to be the only man to do that. I wanted to be the source of your happiness. I wanted to be your strength too. I wanted to be everything that you’ll ever need.” Then he stopped. His eyes were showing how vulnerable he was at that very moment. Tears flowing from his eyes. “Andi Louise Buendia, I will court you. I won’t ask for your permission. This is just me letting you know that I’ll do everything to make you love me.”

I was crying so hard. I felt like I was in cloud 9. Is this for real? Or am I just dreaming? If this is just a dream, I don’t want to wake up anymore. Can I stay in this dream forever?

My classmates all shouted and clapped their hands. I realized I couldn’t even talk because I was crying so hard. Ethan walked closer to me handing me a bouquet of red roses and hugged me.

“Stop crying. From now on I’ll always make you smile.” Then he kissed my forehead. I hugged him again.

But as soon as I opened my eyes, I saw Toby. He was at the entrance of the gym watching us from afar.

“Be Happy.” He mouthed and then he disappeared from my vision.