Blessed & Broken

Chapter 9

The next day when I had finished with school, I rushed home to see Ian. Today he was waiting for me out on the front porch. It was so wonderful to be able to see him in a normal setting and not hidden from the world. He greeted me with a great big ole bear hug. “Oh”, he said, grabbing ahold of his stomach as he broke our embrace. I looked at him confused. “It’s making noises.” Then it clicked. I had to skip my lunch today and I was so hungry. “Sorry”, I said apologetic. “I’m starving.”

We walked into the house and into the kitchen, where I made myself a snack. “So, I was thinking”, I said as I grazed on the goodies before me. I look down at the food and then to Ian. “Do you want to try some?”, I offered. He looked at it funny. “What is it?” I grinned and said, “Hummus and pita chips.” I dipped a chip into the hummus and handed it to him. He took a bite of the crunchy, creamy combo and he lifted his eyebrows in approval.

“As I was saying, since Gemma can’t go with me tomorrow, I was wondering if you wanted to go?” He looked up at me with a mouth full of chips. “I told you that I was already going to be there.” I started to laugh. “I know that, but I mean GO with me.” A smile spread across his face. “If it will make you happy, then yes, I will go with you.”

I felt ecstatic inside. Here I was, going to the biggest college football game in the country with the one person that I loved to be with the most. “Great!”, I said with a smile so wide that I almost ran out of face to fit it. “I think one thing that we need to do is find you some clothes to wear.” He looked down at his attire and then back to me. “What’s wrong with what I wear?” “Nothing”, I said in a high-pitched voice. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was hurt his feelings. “It’s just that, your outfit may be just a little too sophisticated for the game.” 

“I know my mom kept a few boxes of my dad’s clothes. We can go through them and find something that would fit you.” My snack had now made its way in front of Ian. He was shoveling the food into his mouth in bucket loads. "“Will that make you happy?”, he asked. His words were muffled from all of the chips in his mouth. The question bothered me in a way. I wanted him to be pleased with his decisions too. “Well, yes.  But I want you to be happy too.” He smiled up at me. “I’m happy to be with you.” I could feel my heart falling a little more every day. However, I knew the wall must stay up. “Ok, let’s go upstairs and take a look”, I said excitedly.

We made our way up the steps. I retrieved the boxes of clothes from my mom’s closet and carried them into my room, where Ian waited for me. I opened the lid to the box and immediately, the memories started to pour in. I stopped and stared for a minute at the clothes that were before me. It had been a long time since I had seen them.

I lifted up the top shirt and put the soft worn cotton material up to my nose. I inhaled one big breath. Amazingly, it still held the scent of my dad. The tears started to trickle into my eyes. I pulled the shirt away to look at it. I turned my eyes up to Ian to see him staring at me. “I miss him”, I whispered. Ian’s face was soft as he let me work through this moment.

I started to go through the rest of the clothes and put together outfits for Ian to try on. He came out of the bathroom after changing into the first one. I laughed when I saw that he looked like he was about to Hulk his way out of the way too small shirt. I threw another top at him to try on. The second one looked pretty good on him. It was a little snug and it defiantly showed the definition of his upper body. 

The fashion show went on until we got down to the last of the clothing, which was a sleek black button up shirt with black pants that accompanied it. Ian came out of the bathroom clapping his hands to a beat and started to sing. It was a familiar song to me; however, I just couldn’t put my finger on it.  I c****d my head sideways, “Who...” He stopped, pointed his two index fingers at me and said, “Johnny Cash.” My head was still tilted. “You know who... never mind”, I said as I shook my head.  I enjoyed the show he put on for me though. “That looks really good on you”, I complimented him. He looked into the mirror and said, “I think this is my favorite one.”

“Look at what I found.” I held up my dad’s Michigan football jersey. “I think this will be perfect for you tomorrow.” Ian looked at it. I’m not really convinced that he was totally impressed by it. “I will wear whatever you would like.” He smiled big and went back to performing in front of the mirror. I stood there watching him. It didn’t feel right that all he wanted to do was make me happy. How could my happiness be so important to one person? 

The big day had come. When I woke up in the morning and opened my eyes, Ian was sitting on the floor, next to my bed, with his face practically two inches away from mine. “Ah!” A scream escaped my mouth. “Oh good! You’re awake!” My hand held my chest to calm my pounding heart. “What are you doing?”, I asked. “I’m waiting to go”, he said eagerly. He jumped to his feet and did a spin. He was already dressed. “I thought I was excited to go”, I said in a low voice. He laughed and said, “Get up! Let’s go!” His excitement was something to see.

The car ride to Ann Arbor was a blast. I never had to fill the silence once. Ian and I laughed and sang the entire way there. It was amazing that he knew every song that I played. Then again, he has always been with me.

The parking lot was filling up quickly, but luckily, we found a spot and pulled in. When we got out of the car, the atmosphere was charged with so much energy and excitement. I could tell that Ian was trying to take it all in. I took his hand to make sure that he was by me. Even though his stature was larger than mine and the fact that he was my Guardian, I still felt the need to protect him.

I knew that he had never been around so many people at one time and something like that could be very overwhelming. Just looking at the smile on his face, brought me so much peace and happiness.

It took us awhile, but we finally made it to our seats. I scanned the stadium and all I could see was an ocean of Maze and Blue and Scarlet and Gray. The weather turned out great for this time of year. It was chilly out, but the sun was shining so brightly, that its rays gave us warmth. A group of middle-aged men sat next to Ian and boy; they were pumped for this game. They were all decked out in their Michigan gear. The big guy next to Ian introduced himself and his friends to us. “Hey, I’m Chubbs, this is Bear, and that’s Larry.” Ian stood with his arms held out as if he wanted to greet Chubbs with a hug. Chubbs looked at Ian, probably wondering if he was ok and put out his hand for Ian to shake.

The bands were playing loud and full of spirit. The Ohio State band put on a fantastic show. The cheerleaders were all full of spunk and did a great job at riling up the crowd. The amount of energy that coursed through the whole place when both football teams entered the stadium, was something that is totally indescribable.  

Kick off was under way and I don’t think that there was one person who sat in their seat. I watched Ian as he looked on to others around us. I could see at times that he would mimic what they did. Probably trying to act more like us. His friends beside him seemed to be having the time of their lives.

At the middle of the second quarter, both teams were tied. Michigan had gotten its third flag in a row.  “Come one guys! Get your ass in the game!”, I shouted. Ian looked at me then turned back to the field. “Yeah! Get your ass back in the game!” I looked up and smiled at him. Ohio State had the ball; When the Quarter Back threw it, Michigan intercepted and ran 55 yards to score a touchdown. The crowd went ballistic. 

Chubbs and his friends yelled and ripped off their shirts. Each one of them had something Maze and Blue painted on their torso’s. “Look at that!”, Ian said in amazement, pointing at the men. Chubbs slapped Ian on the back. “Here! Have a beer buddy!” Ian took the frothy beverage and looked at me wearily smiling. “Go ahead”, I reassured him. His face was the funniest thing that I had ever seen when he took a sip. His nose smooshed up and his mouth went to a distorted frown. “Haha!”, I laughed at his awkward face. “Here give it to me”, I told him as I grabbed the cup out of his hand. “I guess beer is an acquired taste”, I said. I stopped one of the concession guys walking up and down the isle of the stadium. “Can I get two Cokes and a popcorn please?” I gave Ian one of the drinks and he eyed my suspiciously. “You’ll like this one better”, I promised. I think I got maybe a few kernels of popcorn. He inhaled the rest, plus three more bags.

The game was an absolute nail biter. Both teams would take turns being in the lead. Two of our best players had gotten hurt and were going to be out the rest of the game. It had come down to the last thirty seconds. Ohio State was ahead by a field goal. We were placed at the 20-yard line for the opposing team. The Center snapped the ball to the Quarterback. You could see that he was in desperation to find someone to throw the ball to. 

That’s when he spotted the Receiver down the field. The Quarterback threw the pig skin an amazing 72-yards. The Receiver caught the ball and ran down the field with all of his might into the end zone. There it was. Michigan had won the game by a hail Mary.

The crowd went berserk. The cheers and yells of everyone were so loud, you could feel it in your soul. Chubbs and his friends jumped up and down in celebration that one would have thought they won the lottery. Chubbs was so thrilled that he turned to Ian and yelled enthusiastically, “You want a hug buddy? Let’s hug!” Chubbs grabbed Ian threw his arms around him, bouncing up and down. The look on Ian’s face was priceless. So much excitement coursed through Ian that he embraced everyone around him as we were leaving the stadium. He was in hug heaven. He was hugging people in the parking lot as we made our way back to the car. Did I fail to mention that he even threw out a couple, “Get your ass in the game”, at people? They were just as pumped as him, and loved it.

What an amazing day this turned out to be. The game was perfect, the weather was perfect, and the company was perfect. When we got home, we changed out of our game day gear and opted for comfort. All of the liveliness from today really left Ian charged. “It is still so nice out”, I observed. “How about we go take a walk at the park to burn off some of that excess energy that you have?” He smiled and enthusiastically said, “Yeah!”

Awhile later, we arrived at my favorite park that had a perfect mix of trails that were surrounded by woods and others that laid along the quiet river. The sun still graced us with its warmth, which I was grateful for. Ian and I walked the path that had an abundance of massive trees on both sides. The leaves looked as if they had been painted with colors of fiery red and burnt oranges. The crisp air enticed my nose to take a deep breath in.

We cut through a small path that led us to another trail that laid along the slow lazy river. There were benches sporadically spread along the banks for people to sit and enjoy the scenery. Ian and I picked a bench to sit on where there was hardly anyone around, except for what looked like to be a young couple making out. “Get a room”, I said under my breath as I sat down. “What was that?”, Ian asked. “Nothing”, I answered quickly. 

“What are they doing?”, he asked curiously. “Kissing”, I replied with an embarrassed smile. We sat in silence for a moment, taking in the landscape around us. I could hear the chipmunks and squirrels chiseling away at the walnuts with their teeth, that had fallen from the branches. I looked up to a robust tree that was close by and seen some more little fuzzy creatures chasing each other.

 I chuckled and shook my head. “I still can’t believe that you got that little guy to do what you did the one day when I was visiting my dad.” He started to laugh and said, “It wasn’t easy, let me tell you.” I pondered for a second. “The pennies too. Looking back on it now, how could I have not known that those were signs?” He took a deep breath and lifted his eyebrows. “I don’t know. I thought about throwing them at you, but even then, I don’t think you would have gotten it”, he teased. I made a sarcastic face at him that made him laugh.

I saw his arm tattoo peak out from under his sleeve. “That’s one thing that I never asked you.”, I said looking up at him. “You have tattoos. Are you allowed to have tattoos?” He looked at me as if I had just asked something crazy. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be able to?” I shrugged my shoulders. “I thought that they were a sin or something.” He made a “pfft” face at me. 

“Maybe some of your kind feel that way. However, our maker gave us a blank canvas to decorate as we wish.” I raised one eyebrow and rebuffed. “I've also heard that your body is a temple and must not change or destroy it.” Ian softened his expression with a smile. “One is not destroying their body with a tattoo; they are just expressing who they are. Giving you a look into their soul.” I smiled back to him and said, “Well, you would be the one to know all of this.”

“I don’t have the ability to see God the way you do.” Ian’s face became more serious, but still gracious. “Kalia, you do see God every day. God is in everything that your eyes focus in on. God is in everything that you feel, taste, hear.” He looked at the water and said, “God is looking back at you every time you look in the mirror.” My eyes brows slanted to the middle. “You are a part of God, Kalia”, he whispered. He adjusted his position so that his body faced mine. “Let me put it this way to you. Let’s say when you create something. Maybe from clay, or paint, a song, or, in your case, brownies.” I smiled at his joke. “You take those tools and create something using your thoughts, hands, and feelings. It is a part of you. Same with God. God created you, so essentially, you are a part of God.” I nodded in understanding. “That is beautiful”, I said softly.

We turned our heads forward to see the sky splashed with different shades of pink, lavenders, and peels of orange. Sunsets this time of year were just simply breath taking. “Sometimes, when I see a sunrise or sunset, and the sky is painted all of these bright colors, it is so overwhelmingly beautiful, it makes me want to cry”, I said softly. “I feel as though my body is so small and insignificant to absorb all of its glory.” I shook my head. “I just can’t describe the way it makes me feel.” I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. Ian wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close into him. “One day, you will really be able to feel it. Someday, when you aren’t confined to the Earth and this body.” He really knew how to comfort me. 

I leaned the side of my face into his chest while he rested his chin on the top of my head. I could feel his arms getting tighter around me. After a moment, I heard him whisper my name, “Kalia?” I was so comfortable here that I answered him with a, “Hmm?” He didn’t say anything.

With his arms still wrapped around me, I lifted my head to see his face. It was different. It had become more intense. It worried me. I searched his eyes, that looked as if they were sent ablaze, for what was wrong. Then he softly asked me, “Can I kiss you?” His words sent feelings pulsating through me that I had never felt before. The corner of my mouth turned up slightly. 

I drew my face up closer to his. I closed my eyes and let the rest of my senses take over. I could feel his breath against my skin. His lip touched mine, so soft, so gentle. My body tingled with electricity. We both drew ourselves back. I could see his chest moving faster, for his breath had picked up. He asked in a low voice, “Is this love?” Our eyes stayed fixed on each other's. I could feel my heart swell and becoming lighter. “Yes”, I whispered. His eyes were still locked in on mine as we were both still in this moment, letting it encompass us. “I’m in love with you, Kalia”, he whispered. I felt as though my heart would literally burst. Tears filled my eyes as I gently placed my hand upon his cheek. “I’m in love with you too, Ian.” 

He pressed his lips to mine again. This time, the kiss had more power behind it. This was a moment and feeling that I would never be able to forget. It was so raw, tender, and exuberating. He kissed me as if he would never kiss me again.