Blessed & Broken

Chapter 7

The past month seemed to crawl by without being able to talk to Gemma, but I was finally able to go see my best friend at the center. I walked to the front desk where a woman who looked as if she were in her late twenties, early thirties sat, greeting visitors and answering the phone. Her thick dreadlocks that were colored a burgundy red, were tied back neatly. She had a colorful tattoo sleeve that covered her arm in intricate designs. 

“Hi, I’m here to see Gemma Lee.” The woman greeted me with a kind smile and said, “She has been waiting to see you. She is in the family room, down the hall.” The friendly receptionist pointed me in the right direction to where I could find my friend. As I walked through the hall, I couldn’t help but notice how quaint and homey this place felt. They did a fantastic job at making this facility as comfortable as possible. I was so thankful to George at this moment for getting Gemma into such a wonderful place.

I walked into the space that looked just like an inviting living room in a normal family home, only larger. There, Gemma sat cross legged on the couch, hugging a throw pillow, looking lost in thought. I stood in the doorway and softly called to her. “Gem?” Her eyes darted off to me. “Kali!” She jumped up and ran over into my arms where I hugged her tight. “How are you?” I asked as we swayed back and forth in excitement. Gemma pulled back and held onto my hands. “I’m good!”

She kept a tight hold on my hands as she pulled me over to the couch where we sat down. “You look great!”, I enthusiastically exclaimed. She really did look good. Her face had filled out and her color had gone back to normal. Her spirit seemed to carry the same spark that it once did, long ago. She was healthy. “Thank you, I feel good”, she said. We spent a moment looking at each other.

“I missed you so much, Kal.” I smiled at her and squeezed her hand tight. “I missed you too.” I wanted to know about how everything was going. “So, tell me. How is it here? Are you doing ok?” Gemma nodded her head and smiled. “It’s good. I’m learning a lot about myself, that’s for sure.” 

I sat intensely listening to her as she told me about the program. She talked about the classes and meetings that she attends. She was even taking up some yoga and holistic approaches to her recovery. I was happy to see that she was doing so well. “Have you talked to your parents?”, I asked. Her head dropped down slowly and said, “Um, I called. They didn’t come.” Even with her head hanging low, I could tell that she was upset. “I’m sorry, Gem”, I said as I gently rubber her arm. She lifted her face to me and I could see the tears brimming her eyes. “You are my only family, Kal”, she whispered as the tears started to trail down her cheeks. 

I embraced her into a tight hug. I then softly held onto her shoulders and pushed her back to face me. “You know what? To hell with them, Gemma.” She stopped crying and looked at me. I don’t think she was expecting me to say that. I had always told her to give it time, that maybe they would change. This time was different. It hurt me to see her so sad over the constant let down of her parents. “There is nothing that says that just because you share the same blood as someone, that you have to love them. Hell, you don’t even have to like them.” She continued to look at me. “My mom, George, and I, we are your family. We love you.” She gave me a little smile. “I just need to let go, don’t I?” I smiled back at her and gave her a nod. 

I noticed a small box of tissues on the coffee table in front of us. I pulled out a few of the small cotton squares and handed them to her. She wiped her nose and then said, “Ok, from here on out, they are non-existent.” I gave one big in nod of approval. “Good girl.”

Just then, a man walked into the room. He was quite tall and looked to be a few years older than us. He had a fantastic smile that seemed to come naturally. “Hello there, Gemma”, he greeted friendly. Gemma smiled up at him and replied, “Hi, Pastor Eric.” He waived his hand shyly and said, “Please, Gemma. Just Eric.” His eyes caught sight of me. “Who’s this?” he asked. “Oh!”, Gemma exclaimed as she stood, taking my hand, guiding me off of the couch. “This is my best friend and sister from another Mister. She introduced me as if I was one of her proud accomplishments. “Hi. I’m Kalia”, I said extending out my hand. “Oh, yes. Kali”, he stated, shaking my hand excitedly.

“Gemma has told me so much about you”, he said enthusiastically. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.” Before I could reply, his pager started to beep. He unclipped it from his pocket and looked at the number who was contacting him. “Ladies, would you please excuse me for a moment while I take this call?” We both nodded and said, “Of course.” Eric strolled to the other side of the large room where there was a telephone hanging on the wall.

Gemma and I sat back down on the couch. “Who is that?”, I mouthed. “That’s Pastor Eric. He is the Chaplain here”, Gemma explained. I nodded in understanding. “Hmm. I never thought about a Chaplain being a part of the staff here. But it makes sense. Taking care of your mind, body, and spirit.” She responded, “Yeah, he’s a little goofy, but he’s nice.” Her face scrunched. “He is always checking up on me making sure that I’m ok.” She glanced back at him and said, “It makes me feel a little weird though. Like, he makes it a point to come talk to me every day. More than any of the other residents around here.” I shrugged my shoulders and asked, “What’s wrong with that?” She looked at me like she was unsure and said, “I don’t know. I feel like teacher's pet or something.”

I raised my eyebrows. “OOO”, my voice going up to a high-pitched whisper. Gemma rolled her eyes and said, “Yeah right. Me with a man of religion? Get real Kal.” I looked at her. “What?”, I asked. “It could happen.” She gave me a snicker and then bowed her head. “Besides, what would a saint like him, want with a sinner like me?”

Those words irritated me to my core and broke my heart all at the same time. “Gemma Lee! Don’t you ever talk about yourself like that ever again”, I demanded. She eyed me like I was a mother discipling her. “Sure, you may have made some shitty choices in your past, but that doesn’t define you!” She looked back down. “Look at me,” I ordered. She lifted her head to face me. “You are good, Gemma”, I said with emphasis. “Don’t you dare ever think of yourself as different. You got me?” Her mouth turned up into a half smile. “Yes, Ma’am.”

I turned my head to see what Eric was doing. He appeared to be slowly pacing a line across the floor, lost in conversation to whomever he was on the phone with. “He really is cute”, I observed. As soon as Gemma turned her head to look at him, he had taken one step more than the cord could reach. The cord snapped Eric back, knocking him onto his butt. Both Gemma and I let in a loud audible gasp of air. Eric popped back up with an embarrassed smile looking at us. “I’m good. I’m ok”, he said returning back to his phone call. Gemma and I looked back to each other and started to laugh. “See what I mean? Goofy!”

Our time together today went by so fast. Too fast. On my drive back home that night, I started to give thanks for how good my life had been going lately, for Gemma’s recovery, and my family. But most of all, I gave thanks for my Guardian, who made me feel so happy and so safe. I found peace in knowing that he would be with me tonight and by the grace of God, be with me always.

One year later

This past year felt like a remarkable dream. Gemma had been doing so wonderful at getting her life back on track and with the help of the wonderful staff at the rehab facility, she was able to find a cute little apartment that was affordable. She was also offered a job position as one the receptionist at the facility. Eventually she would make her way up to councilor. She seemed so happy now. Secretly, I think she likes to see Eric every day too, but she would never admit that to me.

 I had been substituting quite a bit since graduating a few months back. There had been a teacher at Lockert Elementary that I had been subbing for a lot due to her having some medical issues. Principle June approached me the other day while my students were at lunch. “May I have a word with you, Miss. Stone” she asked. I looked up at the door to see her standing there. “Sure, Mrs. June.”

“I received a phone call from Mrs. Till a little while ago and due to some complications, unfortunately, she will not be returning to school.” My face saddened. “Oh, I’m so sorry”, I offered sympathy. “I hope she is ok.” Mrs. June nodded and said, “Me too.” She let out a sigh. “Miss. Stone, we are going to be holding interviews for her position and I think that you should apply.” 

 “Me?”, I asked pointing to myself. She nodded her head, “Yes.” I was surprised that she came to me for this. “Miss. Stone, I’ve been watching how you conduct your class and how you are with these students. I think that you would be a good candidate.” Just then the school bell rang and I needed to go retrieve my kids from the cafeteria. “Just think about it”, she said as she headed out the door. I felt very honored that Mrs. June wanted me to apply, so that’s what I did.

About a week later, I received a call from school, asking me to come in for an interview. I was so grateful for this opportunity. The majority of new graduates could end up subbing for a good while before getting their own class and here I was, interviewing for a full-time position. But I didn’t want to get too far ahead of myself.

Being the planner that I was, I had already laid out my outfit the night before. I wanted to look as professional as possible for this interview. I was looking into the bathroom mirror, applying my make-up, all while going through all of the possible interview questions that the interviewers could throw at me. I had to take intermediate deep breaths to keep from getting too anxious. 

I thought to myself, “I’m sure he knows the outcome of this. I could skip all of this nervousness if he would just tell me if I am going to get the job or not.” I was applying my mascara when I heard, “Hello, Kalia.” My Guardian’s voice was music to my ears. To me, it was like hearing a choir of Angels singing. “Hi”, I grinned like an i***t, looking at him. His smile could blind me with all of the beauty that it held. 

“You know, you’re not supposed to sneak up behind a lady when she is putting on her make-up. One wrong move and boop, she has to start all over again”, I teased. He lifted one eye brow. “Did I scare you?”, he asked. I giggled, “No, but I’m pretty used to you. If it were any other girl, she would probably have mascara all down her face.”

He started to laugh. “Well good thing you are the only girl that I like to visit.” His words sent me floating as he went over and sat at my vanity chair. “I wish you could go with me”, I said looking at him. “What do you mean?”, he replied puzzled. “I am going with you.” I c****d my head to the side. “I know that you will be with me, but I wish you were really going to be with me. You know? Like, riding in the car with me.” He looked at me perplexed. “I do ride in the car with you.” This guy was totally not catching what I was trying to throw at him. “No. I mean, RIDE with me....in the car...with me being able to see you.”

I could literally see a flash of understanding cross him. “Oh.” Then he sympathetically smiled at me without saying a word. “In fact, I wish that you could do everything with me where I can see you all the time”, I said sheepishly. We were both silent. Something told me that he didn’t know how to respond. I tried to make the mood lighter when I said, “But, I'm just happy for the time that we do have together.”

 After the past year of seeing my Guardian, I felt as if I was keeping a major secret from everyone. A secret that I didn’t want to hide anymore. But I knew that keeping things this way was for the best.

He sat quiet while I finished getting ready. The music in the background filled the air were there was no chatter between us. When I was finished, I turned around to face him. “Ok, I have to go. Wish me luck”, I said as I grabbed my portfolio from my dresser. He stood up and grinned at me. “God speed.”  I smiled back at him before walking away. When I headed down the stairs, I heard him say, “I’ll be here when you get back.” Those words held so much comfort for me.

I was incredibly nervous sitting in reception area, waiting to be interviewed. My hands and armpits felt as if puddles were accumulating on them. I kept concentrating on controlling my breathing to clear my mind. “Miss. Stone? They are ready to see you now”, the secretary at the desk said while she hung up the phone. My heart started to thump. I bent over to grab my bag, when to my surprise, there on the floor next to my feet, were three shiny pennies. A smile touched my lips when I realized that my Guardian was showing me that he was really with me. I grabbed the pennies, rose from the chair I was seated in, took a deep breath, and walked through the door to where the interview was taking place. I thought it was hard enough being questioned by one person, but being interviewed by four, was equivalent to being put in front of a firing squad.

When I got back home, I walked through the front door and ran upstairs to my bedroom. As promised, my Guardian waited. His face beamed at me. “How did it go?”, he asked. I chuckled at him and asked, “Don’t you already know how it went?” He laughed back at me. “Yes, but it is still polite to ask.” 

I sat down upon my bed and let out a deep sigh. “It went well. I was so nervous though.” He came and sat next to me. “I think you did great”, he said sincerely. I laughed a bit and said, “I don’t know if I will ever get used to the fact of you being everywhere with me and I can’t see you.” He responded kindly and said, “I've been doing it ever since you came here. You just didn’t know it before.” He got me there.

 I got up from my bed, put my hands around the back of my neck and started to pace. “They told me they would call me once they made their decision. I mean, I don’t even know why I’m freaking out so much? It’s unheard of to get your own class just a few months after graduation.” He chimed in, “It isn’t impossible.” I kept slowly pacing. He sat and watched me walk a path in the floor.

“Someone must have seen something in you for them to approach you about the job”, he stated. I know that he was trying to make me feel better and calm me down. I let out another deep breath. “Ok, Ok. I’m not even going to worry about. I’m sure it will be a few days before I hear anything.”

Just then, my phone started to ring. I looked at my Guardian. He looked back at me with one eyebrow raised and a small grin. I kept my eyes on him as I made my way over to the phone. I looked away as I answered, “Hello?” A voice on the other end said, “Yes. May I please speak with Miss. Stone?” It was a voice that I recognized. “This is”, I called to the woman on the other end. “Miss. Stone. This is Mrs. June, Principle at Lockert Elementary.” 

My heart fluttered as if it just got shot up with a syringe full of adrenaline. “Oh! Yes. Hi. How are you?” Mrs. Junes voice seemed cheerful enough. “I’m good. Thank you.” There was a small pause before she continued. “Miss. Stone, I am calling to let you know that we have made our decision for the full time Kindergarten position.” I could feel myself starting to get hot. “Ok”, I replied. “As you know, we had eleven candidates apply and unfortunately, all of them had more experience in teaching than you, seeing as you just graduated not too long ago.”

My shoulders dropped, making my body slump. “Oh”, I said as I tried to not make my voice sound disappointed. In a quick second, I picked the tone of my voice up to a more positive octave. I didn’t want Mrs. June to think that I was a poor sport. “Mrs. June. I just want to thank you for even considering me for the pos...” Mrs. June very quickly interrupted. “Miss. Stone. We here at Lockert would like to offer the position to you.” I stopped right where I stood. “Would you be interested in being our new Kindergarten teacher?”, she asked.

My mouth agape. I whipped my head to see my Guardian looking at me with the biggest cheeser on his face. “I’m sorry. What was that?”, I asked, making sure that I had heard her correctly. I heard her chuckle on the other end of the phone. “Would you like to be a part of our family here at Lockert?” I stumbled upon my words. “Ye...Yes. But I thought you said that there were other candidates who were more qualified?”, I asked confused.

“Yes, there are”, she responded. “However, I see something in you that didn’t stand out in the others. I see a passion in you that you have for teaching. Like I said the other day, I observe you when you are with the students. I have been all the way since you started student teaching here.” 

I still could not believe my ears. “Thank you, Mrs. June. I really appreciate your kind words.” “Great!”, she said. “Since you are supposed to sub again tomorrow, I will find someone to stand in your place after lunch so that we can fill out all of the paperwork and make it official.” I eagerly responded, “Yes. That sounds great.” Mrs. June ended the call by saying, “Good. Congratulations again, Miss. Stone and welcome to the Lockert family.” My face beamed at her words. “Thank you, principle June. I will see you tomorrow. Bye-bye.”

I hung up the phone, put my hands to my mouth and let out the happiest squeal. “I can’t believe that I got the job!”, I shouted. My Guardian began to laugh. “Congratulations, Kalia.” I was so happy and excited that I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed him tight. He stood with his arms at his side, apprehensive on what I was doing. I pulled away quickly. “Oh, I am so sorry.”, I said ashamed. “I guess I just got so overwhelmed with excitement.” I had not touched him since I showed him what worry felt like.

“Is that what excitement feels like” he asked with breathless enthusiasm in his voice. “Yeah” I giggled, clasping my hands together. “What was that, that you just did to me?”, he asked eagerly. I could feel my face get a little warm. “Um. Well, that’s a hug.” I could see him deep in thought.

He slowly lifted his head and looked at me. “It felt good.” His face lit up with the most beautiful smile and he held his arms out to me. I rushed into them and buried my head into his chest. He wrapped his arms gently around me. This was the first time I smelled his amazing scent. I could breathe it in forever. The hug went on for a long while, which was perfectly fine with me. In this moment, in his arms, was the only place that I wanted to be.