GHOST

chapter 4

the fourth chapter

I didn't see anything except when I opened my eyes and saw her standing exactly where I was standing, and a sticky substance was coming down from between her disgusting lips, which she licked with her strange, very long tongue, and she said to me in a rude manner:

- From now on, you and I are one.

Suddenly I turned into black vapor, and as I screamed, I felt as if I was muffled and my chest was filled with fire, as if there was someone inside me, fiery water disfigured me and was slowly killing me. I was frozen in place, unable to move. I don’t know how much time. I feel pain inside my chest that is killing me, but I am unable to express or reveal what is inside me in any way. In this situation, I heard myself speaking in a voice that betrayed my voice and saying:

- We will start with the first one in the house here, so that we can get rid of all the rest.

I hear the sound, and my lips are the ones moving, and there is no one else with me in the room, but I do not feel that I am the one talking outside of me. Suddenly, I felt as if I had captured myself, and even though I inhaled the smell of the devil and strange smoke, there was no presence inside me but me, except that I looked like the one who... He was drinking a hookah until it came out of his eyes as if the coal was burning inside me, and I felt that there was a strange heat in my eyes. I moved from my place as if I was moving with a force of momentum. I stood facing the mirrors and saw my eyes’ color reflecting between hazel and white. Oh, I have hazel eyes. Their appearance was frightening and despite That's why I smiled, a strange smile on me. It wasn't my smile, but inside me there was energy that needed to come out. I felt that suddenly I was filled with an activity that was opposite to what I usually have. I mean, my movement was very light, as if I wasn't the one walking. I went and stood in front of my closet, opened it, and looked at him with disgust and dissatisfaction. I took off my clothes and changed, and I found myself leaving the room, removing all the Qur’anic surahs or any Qur’an, and even the prayer rugs, and I brought a large bag and put all these things in it, and I went down to the entrance of the house and put them in the garbage barrel that was at the door of our street. Of course, in normal conditions, it would have been impossible for me to do anything. So, no matter what disgust is inside me, it will definitely not bring me to this point, but since that day I have been moving like a human being towards me. The one I am calling to wants me to move towards is what is happening to me. After I arrived at the street door, I found a whisper in my heart saying:

- Come on, let's catch up and bury the magic.

I walked without knowing where I was going. I arrived at a place like this, not far from our area, but it was like a wasteland, empty and full of garbage and dogs. Although I do not like dogs and am worried about them, I entered the middle of this wasteland and on a pile of trash I found myself sitting with my lips on my back. She moves, I don't know or understand what is being said, but I hear my voice repeating strange, incomprehensible words in a voice that makes my body shiver with fear. At the time of repeating the words, I felt that something was dripping on my face. I touched it with my hands and placed my hands in front of me, but I did not see my hands at all, while repeating. Speaking, I mean, I found the ground digging. I don’t know how. I was seeing the ground digging for one, but I couldn’t see any hands. Suddenly something very strange came out from under the ground. It was like a raw liver that was still coming out of the stomach of an animal. I reached out my hand to hold it, and it was strangely hot, and I put it down. Between my lips, as if I were biting it, and after I bit it, I opened a fatha in it with my teeth, and a paper came out from between my clothes, and I put it in this fatha, and I looked at it after it finished, and as I looked at it, it came back intact as it was, and the fatha disappeared. I put it with my hands on the ground again, and my lips moved again with almost the same frequency. He said, I buried the thing that was with me as if it had no trace of it. I got up and walked from my place and as soon as I left this ruin, I looked around and felt that there was something still hot on my face. I put my hand again on my thing and wiped what was on it and looking at my hands I found something like something under my eyes. A stream of red blood. I was surprised. I imagined that this might be from what happened inside that place. I wiped my hands on my clothes and then came back and wiped something else with them, and I found the same color and the same substance that I had wiped. Oh, my eyes were bleeding. I was afraid, but she told me in my heart:

- Get used to it, these are the moments of my presence on your body.

I don't know how to respond to her at all. I'm just kissing. She's the one who does, she's the one who says, she's the one who moves, and I'm just a machine she's the one who controls. I came back home and went upstairs, and of course my uncle's door was open. Basma saw me as I was coming out and called to me. She looked at her and suddenly from inside me. I felt a fire burning inside me. Naoudi’s voice rang in my heart as she said:

- She doesn't love you, she wishes you harm, she wants you to be sad and broken all your life.

At the same moment she told me that, she showed me a smile at the door:

- Where were you, my daughter? When did you come down? Why didn't you come to us? This is his aunt inside.

I replied to her, and it was the first time I heard my own voice since what happened:

- I went down for a while, I was charging my phone.

Smile:

- Ok, come in. I'm preparing lunch. Come and have lunch with us.

I actually entered and greeted them all, and inside me I felt that they all had a strange hatred inside them. I let them continue talking and I entered and stood with Basma, who was starting to make the food while she was saying:

- what's up?

I replied and told her:

- No, what's new with you?

she said to me:

- No, Ahmed spoke to my father and wants to come forward, but my father still hasn’t made a decision.

I told her in anger:

- Do you want him to propose to you? seriously? Strange, I mean!!

I found her looking at Leah and she said to me:

- Why is Hind strange? Does he love me just to be friends with me or what? What is normal, this time should have come.

I found myself getting more angry:

- My daughter, but you are still young, and then this man wants to control you. Don’t talk to her and don’t meet her. This is keeping yourself quiet while you are at home and at your father’s house. What will he do with you when your fiancé remains?

I replied with a smile and she said:

- No, it's not that much, Hind. He just has a look at the girls he deals with. He doesn't tell me to stay away from one of them unless he sees something from her. Then we are raised together, meaning we keep each other close, so it won't get him to what you're talking about.

Basma’s conviction that she was getting engaged to Ahmed, our neighbor, who loves her since she was a family member, angered me. How could she get engaged and take the one she loves when my sisters and I are sitting like this with no one talking to us? No, those who got married also got divorced!! I don't know if this is because of her inner fault or because of Naoudi, I found myself saying to her:

- Well, if your father asks you to wait until we do a test like this, wouldn't he be acting like he's not with anyone but you and you find him walking with half of your friends who tell you no?

Basma left what was in her hands and looked at Leah intently and said to me nervously:

- No, Hind, it is impossible, Sheikha. Ahmed is respectable and does not care for such things, and he always puts me and his sister in front of him before anything else.

I told her, whispered by the devil:

- Ok, let us finish lunch, and I will tell you how we will confirm, but if I am right, then you will sever your relationship with him completely, otherwise I will be the one who will tell my uncle that you are talking to each other.

Basma replied in surprise:

- What's wrong with you, Hind? Why are you so prejudiced against him? You didn't say that when we were talking normally without anyone knowing or taking an official step!! What changed?

I had to answer her without thinking:

- My daughter, all the girls make friends and go out, and I said that you will have fun until you find someone good who deserves you, but since the matter is getting serious...we must make sure that this is what works for you, so go with him.

Basma went back to continuing what she was doing and said:

- You're talking as if you don't know me, Hind. Is it me? Since when were you one of the people who amuse themselves by talking to men? If this Ahmed had not known for a long time that we would be together, I certainly would not have talked to him all this. He has not talked to girls and he does not know anyone else, and I am also like him, and you are the one who knows this the best. I don’t know how you can say that about me?

I felt like she was throwing words at me, or what was inside me convinced me of this:

- What do you mean by not being one of the people who entertains herself with men? Are you throwing words at me, Basma? In general, you are free, but if I was not sure that this Ahmed ruined her behind your back, I would not have said that, and you are free.

I left her and went out, knowing that my words would play in her mind and worry her, especially since I turned on her and she knew that I had no heart like that unless she upset me and I had to do this to make her come to reconcile with me and say:

- You are right, Hind, look what is right, and I am with you on it.

Even though she knows that I am not doing well in my life, she has complete confidence that I wish her nothing but good, and in my heart there is no good in my heart for anyone even before Naoudi, and Basma was my first goal outside the door of our apartment.

He follows