The Alpha, The Beta, and The Omega

Regret

Kathrine

It has been two weeks since the Alpha-Beta duo came into my life. Within those two weeks, we talked and texted. I thought there'd be more interaction, but there was none. No meet-up, no dates, no nothing. I feel like I've been ghosted by the two men though maybe they did not intend to do so.

"Still nothing?" Augie asked the second he sat his gorgeous designer-jeans-clad ass in front of me. Sage sat beside him after he pulled a chair for his on and off again friends with benefits. Sometimes I feel like the third wheel between them though they acted as if I was seeing things and that there was nothing more between them than s*x.

"Nope, nothing. Look, maybe they finally see that they were wrong. Maybe the Holloway is just too much for them to handle. You know other Omega families are more suitable for them, right?" It stings as the words were out, though it was me who said it.

Dad was right, who am I kidding?

The wealth difference was staggering enough that I was not sure how I'd feel about being surrounded by people who would scrutinize my lineage and financial background. Aside from the long line of Omega in our family, we didn't have much to offer.

"You know what...why don't we forget about those two men and go clubbing? We didn't get to finish our last outing," Sage interrupted and Augie was the second to say yes to her idea.

Of course, why would I ever think that Sage wouldn't ever be supported by Augie?

Ugh...if only I had that kind of support behind me, even if it was just in a sexy-platonic kind of way. Wait...is there even a sexy-platonic kind of friendship? Would that fall under the friends-with-benefit category? I shook my head to clear my mind.

"Can we go to another club? I really don't want to bump into them." Come to think of it, I didn't want them to think that I was looking for them. It was hard enough to touch base via text or phone call after they seemed to be sure that we were mates. They made me feel a bit inadequate for our future. If there were any.

"Oh, honey...why? I thought you wanted to meet them. Don't you think it's long enough already?"

"Augie, don't do this, please, I know they kept on saying that I need to be patient and they were taking care of things. But...I don't know, I feel like maybe if I am not a Holloway, everything might be easier for them."

I know I was giving up before we even started. I could see the rage boiling when Augie's neck pinked and the tip of his ears were reddening. "Sage, you need to calm Augie down. He knows that I'm right."

"If we go to another club, will you have fun with us?" Sage asked as she put a hand on Augie's shoulder, instantly calming him down.

"I will. Promise." Two weeks. It has been two weeks that I've been giving my friends the stink eye and attitude, just because I feel bad on the inside and have the need to match my outside making myself extra annoying to be around.

"Okay, got it. Augie, tonight we're going to another club." Sage declared, pulling me into her signature bestie bear hug.

So there I was four hours later getting drunk courtesy of Augie the trust-fund Beta who was trying too hard to let me enjoy myself. I was dancing with two of my best friends sandwiching me. I was giggling, actually feeling better until it came time for them when they decided to kiss, with me between them.

"Oh...my god, you guys! Ew...ew...just ew! It's like watching your parents kiss. Don't ever subject me to the scary experience ever again. My mind is as pure as my virtue and I need to keep it that way." I slipped away from them, wobbling from too many Jager shots.

Feeling lonely and hated myself for coming down from my fun time, I decided to leave early. I knew they were going to yell at me tomorrow, but tonight I was not enjoying myself.

Life was just too heavy for me to handle right now. My mind went to Mom who was living through the hell I put her in four years ago, the moment I lost their one and only son. We never talk about my brother, we never speak of his name, it was like a family curse. The weak Alpha heir they said, but I fully know that it was my fault.

I should've been watching him. He was my little brother. And the moment I got home, I knew Mom was going to tell me exactly that.

I was seventeen years old, my little brother was fifteen. Dad was mighty damn proud of him for popping a knot for the first time. Hitting puberty was a big deal.

Holloway hasn't had an alpha in the family for decades, so when my brother Rowley became an Alpha our family celebrated him. And like any other sibling, I hated that my brother got my parents' attention just because he turned out to be an Alpha, while I was just an Omega. Doesn't matter that I was their firstborn, with Rowley popping a knot for the first time, Rowley might as well have been their only child.

On the dreadful day four years ago, in the heat of my jealousy, I was told to take Rowley with me as I was about to meet up with Sage and Augie. I really didn't want him following me and my friends around the mall. So, I decided to be mean to him.

I gave him a meet-up point and left him to roam the mall by himself. I was young and stupid and that was the last day I ever saw my Alpha brother alive.

Today was the exact date I abandoned Rowley four years ago. I knew when I got home I would be faced with my mother's wrath. And as if I was a glutton for punishment I walked into my childhood home and came face to face with my mother. The woman who lost their Alpha son.

"You're not Roo, where's my Rowley, you're supposed to look out for him!" The accusation never fails to bleed my insides.

Though I hated Roo after he popped a knot, I loved my little brother growing up. I loved having him follow me everywhere when he was little. And to think that my jealousy caused our family grievance, I know I would never forgive myself.

"I'm so sorry Mom, I am,"

"You ungrateful daughter! All you have to do is look after him for a couple of hours!" The hard smack across my cheek was less painful than the pain searing through my heart. Every year is like clockwork it always comes and I always accept my guilt. Mom never laid a hand on me, except one night, one day of the year.

"I'm so sorry..." I cried as she hit me on my other cheek and I let her. Just like I always did in the previous year and the year before that, counting back to the night I told my parents about what happened to their only son.

This was the only thing that made me stay at home. The guilt. At twenty-one I should be able to move away from home and be independent just like my peers. But not when I knew my Mom needed me, I have never entertained the idea of moving out of the house. Not until Reeve and Tristan said that they would mate me and since it looked like it was going to take forever to make it happen I accepted my fate. I kneeled in front of my Mom and received my punishment.

"No...no...no... Kathrine get up honey, Malia, stop it, please...baby, come back to us. Don't do this, it's not Kathrine's fault."

"It's okay, Dad, it is...it's my fault." I sobbed as another smack hit my face and I could feel the trickle of blood trailing down my nose. But the tears trailing down my cheeks were not from the pain. It was from the grief I caused my Mom. I really wish it was me who died that day. I wish it was me who got shot from a stray bullet. It was one of those freak accidents that no one would ever want their family member to die from but it happened to my little brother.

If only I took him with me instead of letting him lose in the mall to wander by himself he would still be alive. My mom won't get her yearly rampage, and my Dad could move on from the past and we could thrive from our financial downfall. But we couldn't. Nope. And it was all because of me.