Invisible Alpha

4

Alpha Eric

Pancakes. Wait. Why is my arm empty, no mystery Luna holding me tight in her sweet embrace. My eyes shoot open, I look down, she's gone and I feel empty. Looking to the side of the bed, she's not here. She's not in the tent. I don't even sense her near me. How did she move without waking me. I must have been out cold. I feel stronger today, much better than yesterday. I'm still in pain but the pain has definitely gone down a notch. Ok. It's time to get to the bottom of all of this. I clear my throat and hope Mac or Johnny are out there and not standing in some queue. "Mac, you there?" My voice is hoarse and my throat dry, the sound that comes out is foreign to me. Once more, this time I try to sound louder "Mac, fearless one, are you out there." Still my voice is breaking and weak. Mindlink it is then. I see the network of links and find Mac's easliy. "Mac, can you hear me? I'd like for you to come please." A long pause. "Mac..." I'm about to get frustrated when I hear him, "Alpha Eric? You're awake? I'm taking a dump but I'll be right there Alpa," I can't help but smile to myself, he must have been taken by surprise! "Take your time, Mac and please bring some water when you come."  I have to laugh at this development he was probably guarding my tent day and night waiting for me to wake up just for it to happen just as he was having his morning s**t. I lay back and close my eyes trying again to remember what put me in such a paralyzing position. The last thing I remember... What's the la.... of course we got a call that some wolf pups had gotten into trouble at the beach and needed us to come pick them up. I was annoyed, but Alex convinced me to do it he said to show my pack that they are important and to take care of it myself. Then blank... That's the last thing I remember.  Well it's a start.  Dameon has been very quiet, I try to get him to help me out, I miss him it feels like I haven't spent time with him for a while... "Dameon,  hey buddy, how you feeling? "

"Eric. Damn time you got up. Where is she? Why did she leave us again? "

"Dameon, calm down. I've called Mac. I'm going to get to the bottom of all of this and find out what happend. The truth."

"Are you sure you want that Eric? "

"Wha.."

Mac enters my tent, "Alpha are you really"... I open my eyes and he almost jumps for joy with tears in his eyes, "Alpha!" he steps forward with a bottle of my favourite mineral water in hand sitting down next to me, he hands me the bottle and almost comes in for a hug, I frown. We have never hugged ever. He quickly retracts and sticks out a hand, I hold mine up and shake his hand. "I'm so glad that you have woken up Alpha, I'm so glad." Another tear. There is a long akward silence where the strongest man that I have ever met struggles to get himself together. I sense that he is waiting for some sort of reaction from me, I say the only thing that I can come up with, "It's good to see you,too old friend," and I tap his knee. This seems to please him. As he smiles almost softly at me. "How are you feeling, Alpha, what else can I bring you, or do for you? Just name it." I drink from the bottle he gave me and can't seem to stop, before I know it the bottle is empty so I say, "For a start more of this," he gets up, "Right away."

"Wait, Mac sit down, later ... right now I need answers." My words come out very aggressive,  almost sounding like I'm accusing him of something. His face goes blank and I could swear I see fear on his face. "Alpha?" "Mac, relax listen I've been laying here and racking my brain but I have no recollection of what happened to get me in this position." I gesture to my weak body feeling frail again. Mac is staring at me with his mouth open, clearly shocked. "Wh-what do mean, Alpha?" his words careful and slow. I sigh and know that this must be confusing for him we've been in this pack togehter for over 100 years now and this has never happened to either of us. "Ok, all I can come up with and the very last thing I remember is getting in the Jeep with you to go help the Skylin pups at the beach, after Alex convinced me to show the people that I have some sort of soft side." He doesn't take my words well and I sense that his breathing is picking up, his pulse climbing. "Mac, I'm going to need you to calm down and breathe, ok?" Moving my legs to the side I gesture to the space now free. "Here, sit down. Take a moment, but just one because I have so many questions." Mac slowly falls down and burries his head in the blankets he is shaking his head and all I hear him say through the blanket is, "not good, this is very very bad. Not good." I count to sixty in my head and then I can't handle not knowing anymore, "Mac, you're going to have to tell me what has happened,  so that we can get out of this," pointing to the tent "situation." He sits up slowly and I see that he has no words. "Oky let's start from my last memory, we got in the Jeep, what happend then? "He turns his head slowly and let's out "uhm, I , th-that, wh.." He shakes his head and then looks me square in the eye, "Alpha, the day we left for the beach,  that was .. that was almost three months ago."  My eyes grow big, the information setting slowly,  I lost three months of my life just like that, and I don't even know how or why. "So, I've been here for three months,then?" That would explain his tears. But he shakes his head and he looked proccupied like he's thinking hard and then he says almost as an after thought, "Just 3 weeks, Alpha." He suddenly turns to me, "There is no quick and easy way to tell you what happened since that day, we have been through a lot and times have been tough." Rubbing his eyes with one hand he gets up, "I'm going to get Johnny, he's better at this kind of thing, he'd know what to do." As he gets up to go I ask "Where's Alex? I thought he'd be by my side day and night?" Mac drops his head, "He has been searching high and low for the best healers to wake you up,Alpha he's been a mess the last three weeks, we all have been." I nod and to my surprise say, "Mac, don't leave me yet." he is as surprised as I am and he sits back down. "I'll mindlink the other two that I'm awake, just don't let me fall asleep again." I cut off the pack like before and just speak to Alex and Johnny, "Good morning Beta and Warrior Johnny. Please come see me as soon as possible, I'm here with Mac who can't seem to string a sentence together."  I cut them off because I'm feeling weak again and I need to save my energy to finally know the truth. Mac can't seem to sit still he keeps getting up pacing and then sitting back down. I have to give him something to do before he explodes. "Mac, while we wait, lets get me dressed?"  " Yes, of course Alpha, he practically runs to my rail and picks out the first put togehter outfit that I he can find, blue jeans with a black belt and a black t-shirt with a picture of waves in blue printed on it. Black socks and my black chunky sneakers. He helps me stand and everytime I whimper in pain he tries to help and lessen the weight I put on my legs by holding me up by my shoulders. I'm grateful for his help, as it's an impossible task to do alone. He helps my sit in my big armchair and puts on my shoes. He gets up and looks me in the eyes, very serious now,  "Still nothing,Alpha?" He really doesn't want to tell me what's happened.  Squeezing my eyes shut I shake my head no. " What's keeping them," I wonder out loud already feeling frustrated. Punctuality is something I value. Mac must have sensed calmeness slowly leaving my body because he steps out the tent then comes back almost immediately, "They're coming". Seconds later Alex, Johnny and the pack Doctor practically storm into the tent. Tears streaming down Alex's face, he hugs me and simply whispers "Eric,you, made it" his embrace is welcomed and I pat his back as he keeps on hugging me. He steps aside and wipes his face. Johnny walks up to me, nods and puts out his hand for me to shake. Smiling I reach out and we shake hands. Short and sweet. He steps aside and lets the pack doctor to me. "Listen Eric, I know you must be burning with questions about the happenings of the last three weeks but let's do a quick check up and when we know how you are we'll sit down and fill you in on the situation" I'm not sure when to tell them so I decide to jump in, knowing how Mac reacted I better get it out of the way. "Yes, Alex about that... I've already told Mac... My last memory is the day we left for the beach to help the Skylin pups, getting in that Jeep with Mac is my last memory." All three men stare at me in a very similar way Mac did, open mouthed,shocked. Sighing I say, "Doctor could you do your check-up,  it seems I have a lot of catching up to do with my men." He jumps and shakes his head yes. After the check-up he declares me healing but not healthy yet. He's worried about how slow the healing process is going and suggests more one on one with my mate, the same as the night before since that is what seemed to wake me out of my deep healing sleep."Thank you, Doctor. I assume I'll be seeing you later?" Wanting him out so I can talk to my men. "Yes, I'll see what I can do about the memory loss, Alpha." he bows slightly and leaves. All three are staring at me now and I can feel how uncomfortable they are. Impulsively I look at Mac, "Do me a favor go and tell the rest of the family, I'm well, awake and that we'll be having a moon dance when the next full moon hits." Without hesitating Mac shifts into his wolf runs out the tent and howls the announcement excitedly. Every member of the pack responds to me personally in our mindlink telling me how happy they are that I've woken from my deep sleep and that I'm on the road to recovery. I'm not strong enough to shift yet so I ask Alex to shift and communicate with the pack while I try to get Johnny to spill some beans. Just then he realises that he's alone with me and tries to bail, "I'll be getting you breakfast, Alpha" "Johnny wait, give me something anything," looking at my weak legs and at his injuries, "Just tell me how I, how we got injured so badly?" He is hesitant "I'll tell you that part but I'm not telling you the whole story, that's for sure."

"Fine, just give it to me straight"

"Alright, Alpha you were pushed down a mountain and fell into a river, the one that flows between the bear lands and our lands. They found you broken up and unconscious,  you'd hit your head on a rock. That was 23 days ago, now with permission to leave, I think I'll go get your breakfast,Alpha." With that he left, leaving me to ponder,  that one bit of  information, fucker... pushed off a mountain? Suddenly I could feel her, my mate in distress,  panick she feels scared. I mindlink Mac; "Mac could you possibly bring the Luna to me, right away, it feels very important to be close to her now."

"Right away, Alpha"

Waiting for her is eating away at me and I tell Alex who is still in wolf form talking to members of the pack about the moon dance ,to hurry the process along. He howls and assures me that Mac got the message. I check the clock 5minutes later what could taking so long. "Alex, is everything ok? What is taking so long."

"Eric, I can see from where I'm standing that she is sitting in a tree near the south stream, apparently trying to hide. She must have been startled when the pack shifted it's something new for her. Please know that Mac is trying his best. Be patient. The Luna, as you know is very strong willed."  It's like I'm posessed I want her here yesterday. "I've never met her, so I don't know but I thank you ,Alex."

"Oh f**k, we're all in for a ride," is all he says and then I hear him cut the link and howl for Mac to hurry up. Johnny returns with a tray the could feed five. One large plate with a stack of pancakes and little bowls with toppings sitting on the tray, a large glass of orange juice,  a cup of coffee, fresh fruit and bacon strips. He sets the tray on my lap and hands me a fork and then the knife. "You know how to make a man happy,Johnny!"

"Alpha, we're all doing what we can it's nothing special. Today is pancake day..." almost like he's giving away a secret he adds, "It was the Luna's idea, she's been doing great. The people really like her." I raise an eyebrow, the way he speaks about her is full of admiration, and I sense something more in his voice, I can't stop my jealousy and I can't control Dameon as he lets out a growl,low and angry. Johnny's eyes widening as if being snapped from a dream. I sense fear and anxiousness from him and this I find to be very strange, Johnny was never afraid, he is ruthless and a warrior at heart. Never have I felt these emotions from him. I put my fist to my forhead and try to push back the rage that's trying to push up, rage because of feeling confused, rage because my mate is completely unknown to me, rage because my warriors have been reduced to push overs,  rage because I'm the weakest of them all. Sighing I manage, "The mate pull is strong, and I'm not strong enough to block out Dameon at the moment, take no offense to his reaction, Johnny." He can't look at me so I add, "He, well both of us have been waiting very long to find her, I'm sure you of all people can understand?" He turns his head to look at the entrance making me think he's about to bolt, instead he says: "Look, Eric, I'm going to be straight with you and I'm not going sugar coat it. It's been a s**t show, a literal f*****g s**t show. If you really can't remember what's happened then take this opportunity for a new start. There are.." he swallows loudly and his expression turns to sadness and emptiness as he continues, "There are things that happened that can't be changed, we'll all have to live with it sure, but dwelling in the past won't do anyone any good. I ask you to think about not forcing everyone to live through every little detail again, espespecially the Luna, she's just starting to do well again, go easy on her." He takes a step back as if I might attack him, and I admit to myself that that thought had infact crossed my mind. Digging even deeper into my patience for the tenth time today I manage to find some piece of calm and caring part, "You've always been someone I look up to Johnny, even when I have mixed emotions about what you've just said, I know you mean well, your honesty and loyalty will be rewarded of this you can be sure." He looks at me with his mouth open like I'm some kind of strange creature, he keeps staring until I can't take it anymore "Now, start filling me in on some details while I eat." This time my words come as a command, so that he has to comply, the Aplha command wasn't something I liked to abuse but I was growing tired of everyone dodging my questions and purposely keeping me in the dark. He doesn't like this and becomes very irritable, stepping from foot to foot. "Where should I start?" he asks, realising that I'm not letting him off the hook. "Like I said the very last I know for sure is the day I took the Jeep to the beach to help the Skylin pups." dropping his head he mumbles, "fan-f*****g-tastic, starting with the good stuff. I'm gonna tell you because you commanded me to but let me tell you that I think this is a very bad idea." Stuffing a bacon strip in my mouth I say, "Don't care. Continue." He rolls his eyes and starts, "So you drove there with Mac, the pups were tied together and placed in the cave, water filling quickly their mother taken, we assumed rogues the Black Star pack to be specific." he pauses running his hand through his hair, "Mac, got them and you followed the trail to get the mother, while Mac brought the pups to safety and then went after you. You tracked the mother to ....to Seth's house." He stopped to look at my reaction. "SETH? My brother? What has he to do to with a k********g and the Black star pack?" No answer "Johnny! I say almost screaming." Just then Alex enters the tent. "Eric , what's going on?" He's looking at Johnny who seems to be a lost puppy again. "Take a seat Johnny he points to the bed." My frustration is building and I'm not sure for how long I can keep the anger down. Alex speaks, "Eric,  you've been through a lot but so have we, I understand, I do that you want to fill in the blanks and get back on track, the heavens know that's all all of us have been trying to do, but this is a slippery slope and we have to protect you and ourselves. We will tell you everything but please take time to recover and share in our joy that you're alive first?" I know that he is right but I don't like it. I grind my teeth together not realisng that my fangs have been showing and breathe the word, "Fine". "Please eat and build up some energy before we start this little truth circle you want so badly. Ignoring his sarcasm I hear Mac in the distance, "Before you go in there, Luna, please remember what I told you."

"Yeah, yeah I know closeness and all that." Her comment makes my wolf whimper,  he seems to feel rejected some how. "Dameon, let's not jump to conclusions , she was in our bed last night remember ..she wanted us just like we wanted her."

"Eric, you're a moron."

"Alpha, I've found the Luna. I thought I'd report to you before letting her in to see you. She was very alarmed by the sudden shifting, as the whole pack shifted before her eyes and it was the first time she's ever seen that happen. She's still shaking and she is afraid of ... well all of us." I have no way of stopping what comes out of my mouth next, "What do you mean, never seen it happen?" Mac blinks and turns to Alex shrugging his shoulders, Alex nods for Mac to continue, "Alpha, E.. your mate is human." That can't be, why would the Moongoddess choose a human mate for me? It is almost unheard of for an Alpha to get paired with a human, there are two maybe three cases I've heard of in my life. That makes everything so complicated, the mating process long outdrawn and difficult. All I can do is keep pushing my anger down. My wolf needs her close and so do I. I'm going to have to make the best of all of this, who knows what else will come out,  all I know is that my need to be close to her grows by the second, I just have one more question, after a long silence I manage to let out, "Interesting information, Mac, I just have one question for you, how long has it been since I found her? I mean how is it that's she's here if she's human she surely did not come here willingly?" Another akward silence. I'm going to have to get used to this happening. "Someone,  speak," I hear myself command. Alex is the one that speaks up, "There is more to the story of course, but you found her the day you left to help the pups, and she's been here since." My eyes still closed I feel pained, I met her before and don't remember,  our first meeting lost to me for ever.

"One more thing Eric, she is not here uhm willingly... The last order you gave us regarding her was that she has to stay here by your side, only your death would be accepted as a reason to let her go."

Dameon is whimpering now and I have to cut him off to think straight.  Finally I open my eyes, "It feels like I've woken up in my own personal hell." Every one of my men trying to aviod making eye contact  and I realise that I most likely had a big part in making their lives hard,too. "Mac, please bring her in, it's time." He nods and briefly sticks his head out the tent flap. Moments later her scent fills the tent and I take it in as much as I can. Finally she's there, she keeps her distance but she's close enough for me to smell her scent, strawberries and cream. I take her in, blue jean shorts, a green t-shirt that brings out the color of her eyes making them look deep en fierce. Her long blonde hair falling beneath her shoulders and down hair back in perfect waves. I have to catch my breath, she's more than just beautiful, she is striking and stands out. Delicate and strong at the same time. The silence is too much for her apparently because she looks at me and asks, "And what do you have to say for yourself Alpha Eric?" I can't help but smile at her sheepishly. The sound of her voice is like music to my ears. I'm not sure what to say. I've never been speechless before, should I introduce myself even though we know each other? Thank the goddess for Alex, he looks at her very sternly."Luna, we seem to be in a difficult and strange situation... He has woken up with no memory at all of the last three months." Our eyes stayed locked until he said the part about my memory then she broke our gaze and her eyes went wide, it looked like she was going to scream. She turned around bending herself down and said into her hands, "Son of a b***h, of course, of f*****g course." In a quick move she spun herself around standing upright again looking furious, "Are you kidding ? Are you f*****g kidding me? HOW convenient is this for YOU, Eric?" She takes several deep breaths and looks at me again, "This has got to be a joke?" I have to calm her down, I can't let her speak to me like that infront of my men. Mate or not this was unacceptable behaviour. All of my men are looking at her and seem nervous. "I remind you that I am the Alpha and I expect you to treat me with respect, there is enough time to catch up on what has happened,  but that language and behaviour will not be accepted, are we clear?" I used my Alpha command voice just in case it works on humans,too. She snorts shakes her head, "I don't even know what to say to that." then she turns to the men, "Are you all going to believe this?" My voice is steady but stern "Enough, now! All of you take a seat, we'll be discussing everything that happened shortly." I turn to Alex and say "I'd like you to get hold of a neurologist in town ,Alex, the pack doctor doesn't have the knowledge or equipment to treat me in this condition. I sensed how unsure he was before so I'd like to be treated by someone that knows more about the subject, please try to find an appointment as soon as possible, I'd like to have my memory back" he looks surprised "Right away Alpha" dissapearing through the tent flap I hear him talking into his phone already. "Now, the rest you let's sit and have some breakfast, Johnny got us a tray." They seem to like this idea and sit. My mate digs in to the pancakes saying with a mouth full of food."This doesn't change anything.... Alpha." We eat in silence until Alex returns. "Get ready to leave for the city in 10minutes, I know a guy who owes me." My mate is clearly upset, "Oh now you know a guy?" rolling her eye,s "Luna, this is different, wouldn't you agree?" He's calm but I sense how annoyed he is. "I don't know anything anymore," she spits at him. With that I cut in before we have one more akward silence . I turn to look at her until her eyes meet mine. "I don't know what's been going on, I do however sense how hostile you are. I'm sorry for your discomfort. Please would you be so kind as to escort me to this doctor that Alex has found. I'm still healing and I need to be close to you." Her cheeks flush slightly and I can see she is at a loss for words, at first but that doesn't last too long.. "No can do, Alpha. I'm on laundry shift today and the girls there have a lot on their hands, I don't want to show them that it's ok to start slacking on schedule turns." Rage starts to build in me once more, it's a mixture of different things, defying me and also not wanting to spend time with me, be close to me or to let me get to know her. This is not how I thought finally finding a mate after two hundred and two years would be. I can force her, but I'm sensing that that would most definitely drive her away from me even more. "I understand." Is all I manage to get out without showing any anger. Leaning back in the armchair suddenly having the need to be alone I close my eyes, "You may all leave when you are done with breakfast, we'll have to move our talk to later today when we return." I half expected them to get up and run but they stayed seated eating in silence. Mac opens a mindlink with just the two of us, "Alpha, did we do something to upset you? "

"Mac, I don't like to admit it but I'm weak and tired. The mate pull is taking everything I have, it couldn't of come at a worse time. The fact the she is denying me makes me even more weak"

"Oh, uhm, yes . Then we'll go, sorry Alpha."

"Mac, if I haven't said this before then I'd like to now . You are a stellar warrior and I am lucky to have you on my side. Thank you for putting up with me."

I hear him sniffle but I keep my head back and my eyes closed. Suddenly I feel Mac embracing me in a bear hug, he is picking me up and squeezing me tight, I hug back as much as I can and he whispers "We'll figure it all out Alpha." Then he puts me down and leaves the tent. "What was that all about? He was acting out of the ordinary,"s.he asks eyebrow arching giving me a look. "That was a private moment between us" I say and I sit down lean my head back and close my eyes. As she leaves the tent I feel empty and my heart is aching. I'm tired and all I want to do is sleep. Alex arrives and pokes his head through the the tent entrance, "Come on old man, lets go see what's wrong with that coconut of yours." "HA! I'll let that go because I know I can't catch you, but I'll get you back" I squint my eyes at him and he starts laughing, it's a welcoming sound that relaxes me. Dameon is howling none stop and I take the moment to talk to him. "Dameon, what is it?"  "We need to be with out mate, Eric. Why are you set on denying her?" "What? that's just crazy, she's here and we'll figure it out, but it doesn't have to be right this second. she needs a bit of time, she's human, you know that!" "You're going to f**k it up, just like last time, I can feel it, Eric." With that he is gone and I can feel him calming down.