Invisible Alpha

13

Alpha

Dameon is out of control, being so close and hearing her voice through the mindlink with Luisa was very hard for both of us. Hearing that Luisa does not accept her as her Luna anymore was almost worse, she calld her Emmi and not Luna. We parked the car a few blocks off and waited close by to hear what the police officers wanted. She was going to keep us a secret. They way she defended herself was torture, I could sense how torn she was between doing what's right and keeping our secrets. My heart breaks for being responsible for her confusion and sadness. We're in the woods behind her house watching her, she's just finished a conversation with her mother that was intense, so I tell Luisa to give her a little while before going in to speak to her. When Luisa is at the front door I focus and turn invisible I want to hear her voice up close one last time. They come out and walk off the porch onto the slight downhill lawn. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on, she's wearing a light purple dress that shows just the right amount of cleavage and sits above her knees, her blonde hair hanging in perfect waves. It takes every single fibre of my being to keep my distance. Trying to be cautious, I take a few steps toward them. "Sorry that we have to talk out here, I just don't want my family to ..." Luisa seems very annoyed, she interrupts Emmi, "Yeah, yeah I get it." I mindlink her to keep her on track "Luisa, please try to still show her some form of respect."  She doesn't answer. "So I've come to explain a few things about what's going to happen from this point on." "Better, Alpha?" Luisa is not in the mood for this. Maybe I should have asked Mac or Johnny instead. "Thank you."  She turns her full attention to Emmi and says, "Our Alpha has decided to give you what you've asked for...he's "letting you go", now before you jump with joy there is a certain process involved in "letting someone go." In our terms we call it rejecting your mate. The process is very painful for both sides even when both of you want to reject each other," She's silent for a while then says, "Still following?" Emmi nods yes and Luisa continues, "Even though you're human you'll feel this loss deeply, too." Emmi wipes a tear and my heart is racing, I feel her sadness. This is pure torture. "If I will feel loss, what will he feel?" she asks sniffing. "Alpha should I tell her the truth?" Luisa asks in the mindlink, "Yes, tell her everything, she should know". No point in lying to her now. Luisa continues, "We're not sure, every wolf has a unique reaction, in some cases they were lucky enough to find a second mate, other cases they live a long life but they are lonely and the unlucky ones that had a powerful mate pull and loved their mates, die of a broken heart." Emmi gasps out in surprise, "What, he could DIE?" I can almost feel Luisa smirking, because Emmi's reaction is very genuine,  she cares if I live or die. "Yes, it's what happens mostly, first he'll become angry and give in to that weakness of his then he'll become weak and refuse food or water after that it could be a few days before he dies." She waits a moment and then adds, "But he might be one of the 2% that survives and finds a new mate, the moongoddess knows that we need a Luna, I mean you've seen how much the pack needs one, aaand he is the strongest Alpha we've ever come across, well atleast in this country." Tears are streaming down Emmi's face. Luisa has no sympathy for her, she is just annoyed by her show of emotion. Luisa presses on, "Come on, Emmi get it togehter this was your choice after all." I take a step towards them, but before I can continue Emmi's mom comes out onto the porch and yells down the lawn, "Emmi, sweetie everything alright?" She wipes her tears and shouts back, "Yeah, mom everything's fine, I'll talk to you later,ok?" She leaves reluctantly and Emmi turns back to Luisa, who takes her cue, "Rejecting a mate who is also an Alpha has to be done officially,  there are certain ways it has to be done, certain words to be said, I'm going to explain it to you so it's important that you remember, if you forget I can text it to you,too". Emmi blinks a few times and then exhales loudly, "W-what happens if I -  We don't reject each other?" Luisa perks up a bit, "What do you mean?" Emmi doesn't know how to get her words out, I can see that it's all, too much for her. I decide to mindlink Luisa "This is difficult  for her,too. She's very confused... don't make it this hard for her, I've put her through enough." Luisa squeezes her eyes shut and puts her hand on Emmi's shoulder, "Emmi, that would be worse than dying for him, you see when a wolf knows who his mate is, his instincts go into overdrive and he is soley concentrated on his mate, feeling her, being with her, marking her. Everyday that he spends ignoring these needs makes him weak, giving into his wolf and it may reach a point where the wolf takes over completely making it impossible for him to shift back into human form." Emmi puts her face in her hands, I can smell her distress. "So it's be togehter or die basically?" Luisa is more annoyed now and rolls her eyes, "It's not that easy, we all feel the pull and want to be marked and mated to the mate the moongoddess has chosen for us, the ones who do reject have very good reasons, Illness or whatever." She takes a long pause "We don't see it as a curse, it's the happiest time of our lives,the connection between mates is deeper and more meaningful than anything, we become one." Emmi tries to dry her eyes, "So if we reject each other we won't "feel" each other and sense one another any more?" Luisa looks puzzled, "You will always sense his presence since mates are made for each other, but rejecting will help dim those senses out, so that you'll only sense him if he is near." Emmi looks even more upset. Luisa wants to leave I can feel it. "Do you have any other questions?" Emmi thinks for a while, "How is he?" She answers with a question, "Do you think it's wise for you to ask?" Emmi looks to the ground," No, you're right, it's not." Luisa takes out her cellphone and tips Emmi's number on the dail pad and dails, there I've called your phone so now you have my number. If you have any questions about this, you call me, ok? Let's get on to how rejection is done, first things first rejections are only seen as valid on a full moon night. It's best done at the same time to have more ...effect, which is needed to break a mate pull as strong as yours." Emmi looks up at her curiously, "What does that mean?" Luisa's starting to calm down, and I hope it's because she noticed Emmi's complete confusion as I have been sensing it since the day I've met her. "It's not easy to explain, but I'll try my best. When people are inlove you have a way of noticing. Wolves can sense when mates have found each other, it's like they glow in the same colours. It's something very special. I guess because of how strong our Alpha is and maybe how long he's waited to find his mate the 'glow' that could be sensed around both of you was very bright,  it's the first thing anyone notices when they come close to you. Sometimes the mate pull can't be seen clearly from the outside, and many people have many theories, I don't know about all that, but in your case it was the strongest pull any of us in the pack have ever seen. Your mate pull to him glows bright red and it's like it shines from every pore of your body, it's the same for him. We've also noticed that when you are together it's like two magnets drawn to each other. This has great meaning in our world, when others can sense it, it's not often that it's this obvious." Dameon is howling in the corner, he wants to go to her and mark her I can't risk one more step in their direction. As I stare at her red cheeks and listen to Luisa explain the mate pull wonders to her, I wonder if I'm doing the right thing and my heart feels as tough it can burst, I find tears running down my cheeks, I knew this would be hard. I bite down and shake my head, "MAN UP!!!!!!" I scream at myself in my head. Emmi doesn't say anything so Luisa continues, "Anyway, all that doesn't matter anymore, rejection is full moon, at the same time the plan is you pick a time and send me a text of when it would be best for you. This full moon would be best, it's in a couple of days." Luisa produces some of my wolf hair in a little plastic bag from her back pocket  and places it in Emmi's hand, "You hold it to the moon and say 'I, thank you moongoddes for your trust to give me a mate. I, Emmi Whiters reject Alpha Eric as a mate and companion", the trick is you have to mean it and then you set the hair on fire and wait until it's done burning after it's all gone you say ' I reject you as my mate Alpha Eric' and that's that." Now you'll feel very tired right after and maybe you'll even throw up. It'll be just like the flu, your body will crave your mate badly. It might take several weeks to feel better. During this time, don't think of him or come close to him, the pull might build up strength again." Luisa turns on our mindlink,  Anything else I might have forgotten, Alpha?" I can't form one straight thought. "I can't think of anything,  thank you."  She takes a step away from Emmi. "Then I think that might be it." She holds up a finger, as if suddenly remembering something " Oh no wait, the car you took belongs to you now, the paperwork is being drawn up. And ofcourse your house is being rebuild...as we speak the plans are being altered at our architect, take some time to think about if you'd like any changes done like adding a storey or an added pool or jacuzzi and text me before the week is out." She takes the fat envelope that I gave her out of her jacket pocket and hands it to Emmi, "Here, this is what you would've earned at the university, it's 3 months salary." She holds the envelope and looks more confused than I've ever seen her, luckily Luisa picks up on this, "Emmi, I truly am sorry that I have to put all this on you all at once, but it's what's best for all of us, an easy cut, you know." Emmi stares into the distance and slowly sits down on the wet grass. She puts the envelope of money on her knees and looks up at Luisa with teary eyes "I know and I'm sorry that I ran away, making it harder for you and for him. I-I just didn't know how he would come back, the the last time he treated me... I just couldn't be locked up again or tied to that bed...." she trails off and sniffs. Guilt stabs me in the gut I want to take her in my arms as tears run down my face, too. "Luisa, tell her that it was the right thing to do, she had to protect herself from the unknown, no one knew how I would react to the news." Luisa looks sternly in my general direction, she has already told me what she thinks of this whole thing, I use my Alpha voice, "Luisa, do it."  Rolling her eyes she sits down next to Emmi stroking her arm, "You didn't cause any trouble, he understands why you ran, you had to protect yourself from the unknown, you were not wrong to run. Any sane person would have done the same thing." Emmi puts her head on her knees and looks at Luisa ,"I guess I'll never know if staying was the right thing." She sniffs and stares right at me as if she can see me "I know he's here, I can feel him out there, all I want to do is..." Luisa holds up her hand, "Stop, don't be cruel,he is holding on to a thread right now." Emmi puts her head back on the envelope on her knees and whispers, "You're right, sorry." Luisa puts her arm around Emmi and gives her a tight squeeze, "I'm not supposed to be saying this but if there's any part of you that wants to be part of him and his world you should consider that forgiveness is always an option," No,no,no Luisa, don't,  I try to mindlink her but she's blocked me off, all I can do is stand here and listen as she continues, "and his behaviour when he met you, altough not plausible to you, made sense to us, I mean it's not going to be the easiest road but in my humble opinion it will be worth it." Emmi looks at her with big eyes and she's stopped crying for a minute but doesn't say a word. Luisa takes her chance, "Before he met you he had his anger issues but he was the best Alpha and every wolf in our pack loves him like a father, a brother and a son. He would gladly put his life on the line for any of us, wolves leave other packs to join ours, why do you think our pack is so big? It's because he is the best Alpha, he takes care of us and we can feel that he loves us fiercely,too." She looks at Emmi with a serious look, "He's done things that scared you, but look at it this way, what you've seen was his bad side, him being his worst self, his inner evil was present at full and he never laid a finger on you, even then all he felt was the need to be with you and keep you safe."  I can hear Emmi's heart rate going up and she almost looks hopeful but still doesn't say anything. Luisa speaks again, "You need time to figure things out, Emmi, I can sense that you're very confused. Take the next few days to really think about all of this. Don't give up on him this easily, you haven't even seen his good side yet.." I see her wait for an answer but Emmi is still silent and I feel her confusion once more, I wish she would just ask the questions that's laying heavy on her heart. After a while of complete silence Luisa takes the last envelope I gave her containing the letter I wrote Emmi and gives it to her, "He wanted me to give you this, I don't know what he's written but I'm sure it's his last goodbye," Emmi takes the letter and lets her finger run over the words written on the envelope but is still silent. Luisa puts her hands on Emmi's shoulders and turns her so that they are face to face, "I know I've unloaded on you and that you don't know what to think right now,  but do you have any questions?" Emmi looks tired and is crying again she lays her head on Luisa's shoulder and sobs, "I don't know what to do, Luisa, I don't know." Luisa thinks for a while ,"What are your fears?" Emmi doesn't look at her, "When, when you're all wolves and I'm human... how can I be sure that you won't attack me?" Luisa blinks several times , both of us had been waiting for somethig else anything else, but such a strange question? She rubs her head and looks at Emmi with laughter in her eyes, " You really don't know a thing about werewolves do you?" She looks to ground and shakes her head,"I've never really been into uhm fantasy." Luisa laughs loudly, " Ok I'm going to give you a  quick  crash course, you ready? " Emmi seems to perk up and wipes her wet cheeks dry, "Lay it on me." she says with a smile. "We can only shift from our 18th birthday, from that point on we age very slowly in human form, the shift hurts the first 50 times or so but after that you don't feel it anymore. Then we have our wolves with us, they are always there like a voice in our heads. It takes a while to get used to." She pauses and lets the information set in, Emmi is making some sort of mental check to remember all this. "We are driven by the instincts of our wolf, so in human form we have their abilities hearing, sensing, smell and the need to mate, but we in turn are always with our wolves aswell, it's like we are their masters. We let them be wild and free but we are always there and they must obey us. To put it plainly, even when our bodies turn into wolves we are still in there as humans and control what the wolves do." Emmi looks at her very curiously ,"So you couldn't really hurt me unknowingly while in wolf form?" Luisa shakes her head no. " Should I show you?" Emmi looks back at the house, "Maybe that could help," Luisa gets up, "Come on we're going in your shed over there" she says. Emmi is staring after her then jumps up and follows her,  before she goes in she shouts in my direction, "You better come save me if she tries to eat me!" and shuts the door behind her making me giggle. Inside I hear Luisa undress and a few seconds later she shifts. She opens our mindlink and says, "I know you're pissed,Alpha, but give it a try," I decide to bite my tongue. I'll let her hear it later.  Emmi is practically shaking, she's terrified of Luisa in wolf form and the shift isn't easy on the eyes. The shed has a small window and I move quick to peek through, Luisa's wolf is laying with her paws out and her head down she's trying to be playful, Emmi smiles at her and takes a step towards her, she kneels and pats her head. Luisa's wolf wags her tail and licks Emmi's hand gently, making Emmi smile, "So you understand me?" Luisa's wolf shakes her head yes and licks her hand again. "You're a beautiful wolf,  I love the stripes in your fur and how clean you are, very sophisticated." Luisa's wolf moves slowy towards Emmi and puts her paws on her shoulders cuddling her neck with her head, a pang of jealousy goes through me and Dameon is not happy with this, he is the one that should be bonding with our mate not Luisa. I hear the porch door creek and see Emmi's mother coming out, she looks panicked, I try to mindlink Luisa but she's blocked me off again. She's walking on the porch looking for Emmi. I whisper so that only Luisa can hear me, "Her mother is looking for her." She nods and taps her paw on the door, Emmi opens the door, pokes her head out and sees her mother. "Luisa she's coming this way what are we going to do?" She stays in wolf form and a moment later Emmi's mother is there,"Em, baby what are you doing in here, where's your friend?" Her voice sounds calm but worried. Emmi swallows and I see she that she doesn't want to lie to her mother. Her heart rate is rising very quickly. I make an impulse desicion and whisper to Luisa, "Let her see you," Luisa opens the mindlink, "Alpha, are you sure this could end badly," "If you feel comfortable, doing it then I trust her, I get a good feeling from her."  I say.

Luisa doesn't talk to me anymore, she goes to sit next to Emmi, who is starting to panic ," Luisa, what are you doing? She'll see you!" She grunts and nods her head. The shed door flies open and it takes a while for her to focus her eyes in the dark little shed but when she finally does she screams so loud I think my ears are bleeding. Luisa's wolf is whimpering, she must be in pain, too. She lays down at Emmi's feet. Luisa's wolf is large, when standing she reaches Emmi's breasts she's one of the first bloodlines making her a bit bigger than all the other women in our pack. She is an impressive creature. Emmi's mother goes into survival mode she looks at Emmi and says,"Ok, no sudden movements, he can rip us apart at any moment, your father must have left the damn door open again, these wild animals come from the mountains looking for food. Just take slow steps, we'll get out of this,Em." Emmi looks down to Luisa's wolf and asks, "Are you sure?" The wolf closes it's eyes and rubs her face against Emmi's bare leg, to which she whispers ,"Thank you," she turns to her mother, "Mom, don't be afraid, I know this wolf." Complete silence. "Em, I'm not sure what's going on but that wolf is wild baby, it's the biggest damn thing I've ever seen and we better skidaddel while it's so calm before it wants lunch." She doesn't know where to start she's fumbling over her words, "No,Mom, it's not..uhm I -I ..." she looks to Luisa ,"You left this part out of the crash course." Emmi's mother looks very worried now. She takes a cautious step towards her, "Em, you've been through an awful lot and I think what we need to do is get out of this shed and call those police doctors that were here today, baby you need help you're talking to an animal, and a very dangerous one at that." Holding out her hand for Emmi to take it. "No, mom wait, this, this is..." tears fill her eyes and Luisa's wolf starts to whimper and gives her a nudge. It works because she takes her mom's hand and slowly puts it on the wolfs head, the wolf kneeling asif enjoying it. "Ok, Emmi, now let's leave it to go back to where it came from.." Luisa has had enough she wants Emmi to stop being afraid and just say it. "Alpha, I'm going to give her one more chance then shift and let's see what happens, we'll be here all day and then some if we wait for her to tell her mother " I know she's right, Emmi seems to make herself very small around her mother. "If you are comfortable with doing that then you have my permission." She gives Emmi one more nudge and finally she speaks. "Mom, I'm going to tell you something and I need you have an open mind and just stay calm, ok?" Her mother looks sceptical, "Ok sweetie, but let's get out of the shed and then we can talk all you want?" Luisa groans "No, mom this wolf won't hurt us, she's my friend the one that came over, Luisa," Emmi points to Luisa's clothes laying on a pile in the middle of the shed. "Ok, mom just stay calm, she's a werewolf, there I said it." She shakes her hands and breathes out, clearly very relieved to finally tell a secret that's been weighing heavy on her heart. "Sweetie...oh, no.." her voice trails off and Emmi tries again, "Mom, I know what you're thinking, just please listen to me.." She's shaking her head, "Baby...baby no, I think you're having some kind of PTSD episode and what's really important right this second is that we get away from the very immediate danger that we're in, ok?" Emmi looks down, and strokes the large wolf.  "Luisa, what now?" Emmi asks with her hand in her hair. Luisa's wolf grunts making both women look at her, she takes the moment to shift back into her human form, standing in the middle of the shed naked she smiles at two very shocked women.

*****

Emmi

"Mom, mom, wake up!" s**t,s**t, s**t it was, too much for her. "She'll be fine,Emmi, she just fainted, relax" I can feel her roll her eyes, she's getting dressed with her back turned to me. This whole thing just got a lot more complicated. "Argh, my head. What happened?" This should be fun. She's going to flip. "Hi mom come on sit up, you fainted," she looks bewildered "Did I?" I let out a sigh,"yeah,when um Luisa went from wolf to human." Her eyes are darting from me to her and then she says "ok, it seems like we'll need to have a chat about all this, Emmi" I still detect something strange in her voice ,"We will mom, let's just take one step at a time here." Luisa slides into her sneakers and turns to us, "I do apologise ladies, my intent was never to scare you." It feels like I turned her into a circus, I feel bad. "Sorry for making you do that, and thank you for sharing your secret with my mom." Luisa winks, "No problem. Look I've got to get going, Bella is having a day and you know how scarces good babysitters are, but I mean it, I know you must have questions, text me or ... him , for anything." She goes to leave but turns when she's half way out the door, "Don't forget the letter and try to get clarity." She moves quickly and I run after her ,"Luisa,wait this morning the cops were very weird about seeing you so they might be out there following you, be careful." She looks annoyed again,"FuckingA, thanks for the info." She's gone in seconds leaving my alone with my mom. I help her up snatching the two envelopes from the ground, "Come on mom we'll have some coffee on the porch swing while I tell you EVERYTHING." Several minutes later I start tellling her the whole story, the whole truth. I'm nervous because I am still dumbstruck by it all and it's been 3months. She listens,.drinking her coffee and never says a word.  When I'm done she looks down at the envelopes and says, "And what does his letter say?" I'm shocked I told her about murder and werewolves and the only question she has is about what he has written me? I clear my throat, "What?" "You said she came here with a letter from Eric,no?"

I look down at it on the porch swing next to me. "Well go on baby read it," she says squeezing my knee. "I'm going to start lunch you come in and tell me what that letter says when you're done, oky?" She doesn't have questions or comments about any of this? "B-but mom, aren't you going to say anything about all of this?" She stares into the mountains and then back at me, "Baby sometimes it's better to except the things we can't understand, I saw her right there before my own eyes, the truth is the truth, so questioning what I've clearly seen makes no sense now,does it? I do need a minute to form an opinion about whether Eric did the right thing or not, but that's not my place to judge."She kisses my head. "I am very glad that you were taken by people that wanted to make you their princess, I've been having terrible dreams of what could have been, I like this version much better." She stands there for a while and then says, "I can't tell you what to do, Emmi. I know what I would have done, had I been in your shoes but it's not my place to say, it's your decision and you should figure it out." With that she's gone. "Seriously?" I shout after her and see her shrug through the window. So now I have to read that letter. I smell the envelope kind of expecting to smell a trace of him, but it smells like old paper. Almost like a library. The envelope reads My Luna my hart is racing and I feel sad already. "Emmi, get it togehter" I whisper under my breath. I open the envelope and read his letter:

My dear Emmi,

This is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. I've wronged you in many ways, treating you like a prisoner instead of my Luna and Queen. I am aware that there is not much that I can do to change your feelings of fear towards me. Spending intimate time with you showed me that. Living a life in fear and always being torn in one's decisions, is no way to live. I refuse to put you through more heartache and confusion. Therfore I will honour your request and "let you go". It's important that you understand that this is not something I am doing easily. As I write this I feel empty and regret is living in my soul already, even though I have no memory of doing these horrible things to you or my pack. Rejecting you as my mate is the last thing I could ever want, but it is what you want and need.

The only thing I can hope for is that you can forgive me one day and forget all of the things causing you to doubt yourself. You will always be my Luna and my mate, and the door is always open for you to come back to me, if you do have a change of heart.

A few things that I'd like to inform you of

-I will be at your house every Tuesday and Thursday to check on the building  progress. Please don't be there on those days, as I do not think I am strong enough to keep my distance.

-You'll need to go to my lawyers office to sign for the car that now belongs to you. You may do with it what you please. I've put his business card with contact details in the envelope, contact him to make an appointment, when you are ready.

-Follow the rejection rules that Luisa will explain to you, it's important to protect both of us from suffering under the mate pull.

-I will try my best to be in other states in homes I own as often as possible, to ensure that there is a good amount of distance between us, this will make it easier for both of us. I would also ask you not to enter the pack lands again for the same reasons.

Thank you for letting me in and being apart of you, if only for a little while. Those few hours with you will always be the best hours of my life.

I hope that love finds you and that you are treated with the respect and adoration that you deserve. May you live a happy and prosperous life.

Goodbye, my Luna

Always yours

Eric

Tears are running down my cheeks in streams. I lay down on the porch swing and close my eyes, I'm exhausted and I feel like the last couple of hours has drained every last bit of energy I had. I lay on the porch swing swaying and staring toward the mountain, how will I survive this life with his touch?