It had been such a long time since all of that happened! Those few moments when I re-lived everything must have been the rock bottom of my self-abandonment! It was also the first time when the meaning of my mother’s words fully hit me. Resigned to my fate, all I felt like doing was closely scrutinizing my suffering. I wanted to catch it unaware and break that invisible umbilical cord that fuelled me with a poisonous energy that sucked the living will-power out of me. My consciousness was on the lookout for a shaft of light in that dark chasm that pulled me deeper and deeper. But it wasn’t just any light-shaft that I was after. It was the one and only leading light, steady from dawn till dusk, bridging time and space from one fixed point marked by the presence of the North Star. It was invi
